"Is he still out there?" I ask Himanshu. The man looks at me as if I'm asking the most obvious question in the world, one whose answer is known to even a newborn baby. "Thanks," I murmur, already receiving a reply without him saying anything.
"Nandini, do you want tea?" Rebecca asks from the kitchen.
"No thanks." I call back, as I pace across the foyer. How am I expected to eat, or even sit down when Manik is seated outside under the burning sun, making friends with God knows what kinds of insects. We reached home around noon, with Manik's car following close behind. Evening is now above our heads and the man's still rotting outside.
"Nandini, your pacing and hunger strike won't make Manik go away." Rebecca says, poking her head out of the kitchen. "He's as stubborn as a mule. He will stay there until he wants to get up and leave."
"I know," I murmur, cracking my knuckles. Huffing, I throw my head back, staring up at the ceiling. Aiyappa, give me some cure to decrease this restlessness.
"Your leg will begin to ache shortly. Please sit down." Ignoring Rebecca's words, I continue to move back and forth, my hands quite familiar on the crutches by now. Has Manik eaten anything all day? Or is his stubbornness outweighing his sensibility as usual? My feet are magnetically pulling me towards the staircase. Unfortunately, however, I will be unable to climb it and watch the Devil from the terrace.
"I can't do this anymore." I announce to myself, heading towards the kitchen. I need to take food and something to drink for Manik, otherwise I won't be able to rest all night.
"Nandini, what're you doing?" Rebecca asks, as I pull open the fridge door with great urgency, my eyes searching its contents. They land on the platter of Biryani. Perfect!
"What're you doing?" She repeats, as I pull out the plateful of rice and place it on the counter beside me.
"I'm taking food out to Manik," I reply. Grabbing a bottle of Coke, I shut the fridge door. These stupid crutches will definitely hamper my progress.
"What's wrong with you, Nandini?" Rebecca exclaims, staring at me accusingly. "Don't forget all the horrible things he's done." I halt my actions, the gears in my mind churning with a flurry of thoughts.
"Rebecca," I say, thoroughly thinking my words through. One wrong word and I might just deeply offend my friend. "Please do hear me out with an open mind. Do you think there's even a sliver of a chance that Manik didn't...I mean, that he wasn't involved in what happened the night of your birthday? Did he truly touch you in the wrong way?" I watch Rebecca's expressions unsurely. "I'm not saying you lied to me of course," I add hastily. "I just...Something doesn't sit well with me. The Manik I know wouldn't - couldn't - perform such a sinful act."
"There's no other explanation for what happened," Rebecca says. "He was the one who arranged the entire party, and his words..." She trails off, her meaning quite clear to me. "Why else would he have said those nasty words?"
"I don't...I don't know," I shrug, my mind bearing a clutter I'm unable to sort through. I want to talk to Manik, but the fear of all this being true is nagging at the back of my mind.
"If you want to be the kind person you are, and give Manik food, then I won't stop you." Rebecca says, taking hold of the Biryani platter and placing it in the microwave. "Giving up on love isn't easy, and I get that. I, too, loved Manik a great while after the incident happened."
"Rebecca, maybe you should hear Manik out once. I know for a fact that he's been trying desperately to get a few words into your ears, but he's been failing at it." I say, unsure as to why I'm fighting for the Devil's case.
"How am I expected to look that man in the eye and hear him out?" Rebecca asks, staring down at the floor. "Some people might be brave enough to do so, but I most certainly am not. Call me a coward if you may." Sniffing, she takes the plate out of the microwave and places it on a tray. Rebecca grabs the Coke bottle and lies it down beside the plate. "I'll help you take it till the gate." She says, heading past me, towards the front door.
Once I've managed to reach the gate, Rebecca holds the tray out towards me, her expression telling me that she wishes to say something.
"What?" I ask, taking the object from her hands.
"Never mind," she murmurs, sighing. "It's your life. Who am I to guide your hand in the decision making?" Himanshu opens the gate, allowing me to step out. Without waiting for another second to pass, Rebecca turns and makes her way towards the house. Huffing, I stare at the tray in my hands, and then at the crutches underneath my underarms. Okay, I did not think this through. Without giving my actions a second thought, I drop the crutches, allowing them to clatter to the ground.
"Hey, careful, Angel." Manik says, coming to my side upon hearing the commotion. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
"Bringing you food," I reply, moving towards the sidewalk with his help.
"Wait, you won't be able to sit there." Manik tightens his grip on my forearm, preventing me from moving any further. "Let me unlock the car and you can sit inside."
"Malhotra, you can sit here all day, but I can't for even a handful of minutes?" Handing Manik the tray, I lower myself onto the sidewalk with great effort, the cast hindering my movement. I turn my head to find Manik watching me, worry lines creasing his forehead.
"Come sit, Malhotra." I pat the space beside me. "And enjoy the warm meal. Two lovely women's efforts have gone in putting it together for you."
"You're okay, right?" Manik asks, watching me dubiously. "This sudden concern...Angel, maybe some pain medicines are playing with your head." I smile, shaking my head.
"No, this concern isn't an after effect of any painkillers. Just plain old concern, courtesy of the home you've setup in my heart." Manik, who was lowering himself onto the spot beside me, stops his movements; his behind hovering inches above the ground. "Love isn't connected to some switch. No matter how hard I try nothing - none of my feelings for you - will change overnight." I won't shy away from the truth of the matter anymore.
"I know," Manik says, breaking out of his stupor. "Trust me when I say this, I've been in your shoes. Frustrating, isn't it?"
"A hundred percent." I scoff, drumming my fingers against the concrete. "Wait...you loved me during that entire period of hate?" Loud laughter quivers Manik's shoulders as he shakes his head in amazement. Furrowing my brows, I watch him with confusion.
"Lord, you're quite the opposite of smart," Manik says. Pouting, I glare at him. These words are most definitely not helping his case. "I never hated you, Angel. My heart got sold to you way before either of us realized it. Probably even before you began to develop feelings for me." My heart skips a beat, its pace speeding up. Its almost as if Manik has a direct link to my heart; he pulls a string and it reacts to his words, or actions.
"Malhotra...how'd you forgive me after everything?" I question, genuinely curious to know the answer, for now I have learnt just how hard it is to re-open your heart to someone who has squeezed the life out of it at some point in the past.
"That's definitely a million dollar question." Manik grins, staring at a spot in the distance. "I don't really know, Angel. I guess my love, mixed with yours, outweighed the small sack of negative emotions I was lugging around for you. Hopefully history will repeat itself." I find a voice - quite a loud one - echo Manik's word; hopefully.
"Less talking, more eating," I say. Eagerly, the Devil digs into the platter of rice. "You haven't eaten all day, am I right or am I right?"
"No," Manik replies through a mouthful. "It's okay though. I'm not hungry."
"Yeah, I can see." I mumble, watching the Devil beside me rip apart the dish in front of him. When is Manik not hungry? "I don't understand it, Malhotra. What're you trying to achieve by rotting out here all day?"
"You," he replies without skipping a beat. Silence fills the air around us, as Manik continues to eat as if this is his last meal. "I didn't do it, you know?"
"I'm sorry?" I ask, unsure of what Manik's referring to.
"The night of Rebecca's birthday," he explains. "I didn't plan that crime and neither was I aware of Dhruv's intentions." A breath that had been caught in my throat for quite a few days now finally passes through. Manik doesn't need to provide me with any further explanation, for I already blindly believe him.
"Yes, I planned a surprise party for Rebecca, but abusing her was most definitely not a part of the plan," he continues. "The only mistake I made was that I trusted Dhruv and considered him to be my friend; one who held an even closer position to my heart than Cabir." The mere thought of that vile man occupying a space - large or small - in Manik's heart is repulsive.
"The night was to unfold in this manner; Dhruv would bring Rebecca to the yacht, where I'd be waiting with an entire setup for a movie night. She loves to watch, 'A Walk To Remember.' I bet Rebecca's seen it at least a hundred times and yet the silly girl cries every time." A smile breaks out across Manik's face. Aiyappa, taking into mind the affection he speaks about Rebecca with, there's no way on this planet the thought of raping her could've even momentarily crossed his mind.
"By the time we would get done with this, everyone would've gathered on the upper deck and her surprise party would've begun." Manik shakes his head, his face scrunched up with painful memories of that night. "None of it happened though because Dhruv had other plans." I don't think I've harbored such strong feelings of hatred for anyone other than Dhruv. "I got late in reaching the venue because last minute Dhruv sent me to get condoms, saying it's his lucky night with a girl. Being the fucking fool I am, I gladly agreed to do this small favor for a friend. So by the time I reached the yacht, Dhruv had tried and partly succeeded in attaining his sick pleasure."
I rest my head on Manik's shoulder. Narrating this event is clearly a gut-wrenching task for him.
"Dhruv intended on telling me Rebecca fell ill and decided not to come. Only things didn't go as planned. She managed to escape, but didn't stop for even a second to explain matters to me. I tried - I really did - to stop her and ask what happened, but she was running as if there's no tomorrow. Rightly so, of course. I've been trying to explain myself to Rebecca ever since because in her eyes I'm in the wrong alongside Dhruv."
The muscles in Manik's body stiffen with tension.
"To top it off, when Dhruv was explaining all that had happened he was speaking with great pride and ease, as if he had performed a noble act." Manik's grip on the handles of the tray tightens; his knuckles turning white. "Angel, I swear I would've killed him had Cabir not arrived on time."
"It's all in the past now." I assure Manik, as I watch the tray in his hands begin to shake. "Rebecca's alright. She has moved on." What have I done? Do I deserve to sit beside Manik and comfort him when I'm the one who renewed the past's memories in his head by wrongly accusing him. Not once did I give him a chance to explain himself. A flare of anger shoots through me; anger at treating Manik with such cruelty. This man doesn't deserve a weak love like mine. My palm itches with the urge to slap myself.
"Angel, I know you're already upset with me, and what I'm about to say next might work against me even more, but this must be put out in the open between us." Manik says, shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath, almost as if he's bracing himself for what he's about to say next. "I'm not going to change. All my life I've tried pleasing others and fitting into the limitations society has set, and so I'm tired. You loved me for the Devil I am and not for the angelic facade others, like Chachi, see. I don't ask for a lot, but what I do ask is for you to not change me. Yes, I am impulsive and short tempered. Indeed, these are my flaws, but all I can promise you is that I will try to gain a hold on them. Although, nothing will change overnight. But I can't promise you anything else because there are no lies between us. Heck, I'm ready to tear this world apart for you. All I ask is that you accept me for Manik, the Devil. Nothing else."
My vision blurs with tears. From the time I met Manik, till today, the journey this man has undergone is commendable. The person sitting beside me is no longer covered by a cloud of insecurities and under confidence. He's someone who's confidently voicing his thoughts, the fear of being rejected not hindering his progress anymore.
"I have no complaints," I say. "I love my Devil wholeheartedly, so much so that even those character traits you term as, 'Flaws,' shine like stars in my eyes."
"Thank the Lords." Manik cries out with joy, a grin of relief lining his lips. "Because only your Aiyappa knows how I would've turned my character around three-sixty degrees if it meant having you in my life." Grinning, I find myself void of all the emotions which were acting as a barrier between Manik and I. It feels as if Manik's words have acted as a wrecking ball against those walls, breaking them down until they're nothing but dust.
"I'm going to first help you till the gate," Manik says. "And then I'm going to go home." Pouting, I furrow my brows, a question hovering at the tip of my tongue. "Why? Because I want you to think. Take your time, Angel, and if you find that your heart has once again opened up to me, then call me. I'll come pick you up. If not...well, then I guess I'll have to put Plan C, D, and E into play."
Little does Manik know that I don't have to think anything through. Sure, I will allow him to escort me till the gate, but only because I need to pack my belongings and have a much needed conversation with Rebecca. After that, however, I'm all his.