Sam was dead.
Again.
And Dean was an emotional wreck because of it.
Again.
And Cas just stayed by Dean, always willing to help whenever Dean needed it.
Again.
And somebody was up in heaven, currently trying to resurrect the moose we all love.
Again.
You get the picture.
And that was why Dean Winchester was currently drunk off his ass, half crying into an empty bottle of whisky, as Cas sat calmly beside the hunter, half wishing he was allowed to hug the human before him, and mostly wishing that Gabriel would hurry the hell up and resurrect Sam so that Dean would go back to his normal self once again.
"Everyone I love dies, Cas." Dean said suddenly, setting down the beer bottle and wiping his eyes. "Everyone."
"Not everyone," Cas insisted. Dean shook his head.
"No, all of them. Some come back for a little while, and then they die again. That's just how it goes." He scoffed. "Hell, bet if Sammy came back and immediately ran away from me and never looked back, the next time he'd die would be when he's a hundred."
"That's not true, Dean." Cas edged closer to the hunter. "It's not your fault that people die- that's just the way the hunting life goes."
"But half the people I've lost wouldn't even be in the hunting life if it wasn't for me."
"Dean-"
"Don't deny it, Cas, it's TRUE. Charlie, Kevin, Sammy-"
"Sam was apart of this life no matter what you did."
"No, he was out. And I dragged him back." Cas shook his head.
"He was fated to hunt, Dean. Even if you hadn't shown up, he would have found his way back to hunting." Dean hung his head.
"I just.....I don't want to lose him again like this. I can't keep doing this, Cas. I can't keep losing him- I can't keep losing you."
"Me?" Cas echoed. Dean nodded, swallowing hard.
"Watching Lucifer kill you? And knowing I couldn't bring you back? It's the worst thing I've felt since the first time I lost Sam. Only it was worse with you, because I couldn't just sell my soul to get you back."
"Dean..... I didn't know that." Cas offered, slightly surprised. His urge to hug the Winchester grew stronger as Dean let out a brief laugh.
"Of course you didn't. I never talk about how I feel when it comes to you."
"Why not?"
"Because....." Dean sighed. "I love you, Cas." He admitted, staring down at the table.
"I know." Cas said bluntly, causing the hunter's head to snap up.
"You WHAT?"
"I know." Cas repeated, looking at him. "It's pretty obvious."
"It IS?" Cas fought back a laugh.
"With your jokes, innuendos, and the constant staring and nicknames? Oh yeah. Pretty obvious. I'm just glad you finally admitted it." Dean stared at him.
"And....And you're...okay with that?" Cas smiled at him.
"Of course I am." He nudged Dean slightly. "I love you too." Dean's eyes widened in surprise, a slow smile spreading across his face.
"That's nice to hear."
"Good. Now, can I ask a favor?"
"Anything for you, angel."
"Can I hug you?"
".....Cas, you don't have to ask. Sure-" Dean's words were cut off as Cas immediately bear-hugged the Winchester, squeezing him with a death grip.
"CAS!" Dean squeaked, pretty sure the angel was going to break bone.
"Shut up and let me love you." Cas ordered, squeezing him even tighter.
"WOW." A voice behind them said. Cas turned, still clutching Dean, and raised an eyebrow at Sam.
"I should die more often." The moose insisted.