You and Megumin were inside the mansion witnessing something indescribable.
Aqua: *politely* I've made some of the finest quality tea, Kazuma.
Kazuma: Quite. *takes a sip* This is hot water.
Aqua: Oh, how careless of me.
Kazuma: Could it perhaps be that you purified the tea?
Aqua: I'm ever so sorry, Kazuma.
Kazuma: We simply need to remake the tea. Thank you, Aqua. I'll finish this tea as it is. *takes another drink* Yes, it's hot water!
(Y/N) & Megumin: You're freaking us out!
Kazuma: Oh. (Y/N), Megumin, why don't the two of you join us for tea? We've happened upon some fine tea leaves.
(Y/N): Guess I could go for some tea.
Kazuma: Aqua, one tea for (Y/N), please.
Aqua: Coming right away.
Megumin: Stop this! Turn back to normal! You're being really creepy right now!
Kazuma: I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm acting the same as I always do.
Aqua: The finest quality tea is ready once again, Kazuma. And here is your cup (Y/N). *hands cup*
(Y/N): Thank you Aqua. *takes sip* This is hot water.
Kazuma: Yes it is. You must have purified it again.
Aqua: Oh my, how silly of me.
Kazuma: No matter. It simply needs to be remade again. Thank you Aqua. I'll finish this as it is.
You saw Darkness calling you and Megumin over so you finished your hot water and went over to her. Once the two pf you were next to her she began to tell you what happened. Vanir had come over to the mansion last night, he got into an argument with Aqua that turned into a little skirmish, Afterward he offered Kazuma a deal about selling items from your world, Kazuma can either sell the idea for three hundred million eris or take one million eris a month and Kazuma hasn't decided yet.
Megumin: So that's what happened.
(Y/N): Man, Vanir really got Aqua.
Darkness: And they've been like that ever since.
Megumin: That explains the phony air of wealth. *speaks louder* Well, it's wonderful that we have more money now. Anyway, why don't we go take on a kill quest?
Kazuma: Huh? Oh, please. What are you saying? Why should I bother working when I'm on the verge of making a fortune?
Megumin had a look of disbelief as Darkness walked away. You just looked on with a blank face.
Kazuma: I mean, I put together good gear, made a plan, and took on a quest, and I still ended up dying again! I've decided that I'll make a living doing business from now on. No more dangerous adventurer stuff! Time for a nice, room temperature life!
Aqua: Say Kazuma, that would actually be a bit of a problem. If you don't actually defeat the devil king it would actually be a real problem for me.
Kazuma: *stands up* In that case, why don't we make a ton of money and ire some incredibly strong adventurers?! Then we'll have them help us defeat the devil king! *weird pose* We conquer the devil king's castle leading an army of adventurers! How about it?! It actually sounds plausible for once, doesn't it?!
Aqua: That's it! Nice one, Kazuma! *slapping Kazuma's face* I can see you slapping adventurers' faces with wads of cash as you order them around, and stealing the finishing blow after they've weakened the devil king enough!
Kazuma: That's exactly it! I guess knowing me the longest means you know me the best!
(Y/N): I feel hurt by that statement...
Megumin: *getting angry* Using the power of money to defeat the devil king... I can't accept it! I refuse to! What exactly do you think the devil king is?! A force like the devil king is meant to be fought by awaking to a hidden power, and defeating him after an epic final battle! And what do I hear you talking about?! Just hiring strong adventures to defeat him?! Come on say something (Y/N)!
(Y/N): Both of your ways sound long and time-consuming. I just want to shoot him in the face with a Master Spark.
Megumin: Then Darkness! Darkness?
Darkness: Oh, it's just, seeing Kazuma gradually becoming more and more pathetic got me wondering how big a scumbag he'll be in the future... *heavy breathing*
Megumin: Ugh! What am I supposed to do?!
Kazuma: Don't group me with the pervert over there. Anyway, I died of a broken neck, remember? Just let me relax until I recover.
Megumin: *eyes widen* I understand. Why don't we see to healing your injury, then?
Kazuma: Eh, it's fine. If I just slack off long enough, it'll heal.
Megumin: Let's go right away! We'll head to the city of water and hot springs, Arcanretia!
Kazuma: Don't mind my injury- *Serious* Did you say hot springs?!
Aqua: Did you just say Arcanretia? Did you say we're going to Arcanretia, the city of water and hot springs?
Kazuma: H-Hot springs, eh? I guess we're all exhausted from fighting do many tough enemies, so it can't hurt to splurge a bit on a hot springs trip.
(Y/N): Hell yeah! Hot springs!
Konosuba!
It was early the next day.
Aqua: Is everybody ready?
Kazuma: You bet! I'm all set to go!
(Y/N): Someones excited. But I'm ready.
Kazuma: Man, how long do those two plan to sleep? And they call us losers!
Aqua: I'm going to wake them up. You two go ahead to where we're boarding the wagons and secure the best seat. *thumbs up*
Kazuma: *thumbs up* All right, got it!
(Y/N): *from down the road* Let's go Kazuma!
Kazuma: W-Wait a minute! *runs after you*
Timeskip
You and Kazuma walk into the Wiz's shop.
Vanir: Welcome! Oh? What brings you by so early?
Kazuma: Just going on a little hot spring trip. And about our deal... It'll have to wait until I get back.
Vanir: Is that all? Well, take the chance to relax and enjoy your anticipation of mixed bathing.
Kazuma: I-I-I'm not anticipating that! I just wanted to go because my neck still hurts...
(Y/N): *picking a burnt Wiz off the floor*I swear Kazuma, you aren't fooling anyone. And you need to be a little nicer to her Vanir.
Kazuma: Why is Wiz all burnt up?
(Y/N): Vanir does this when Wiz does... well, Wiz things.
Vanir: She wanted to sell these weird items, but I wouldn't allow it. So I was loading these pieces of junk into boxes, hoping to return them. Wanna buy one?
Kazuma: What is it? Some kind of magic item?
Vanir: It's a portable toilet accessory that lets you deal with nature's call while on the road. It even uses running water to grant a degree of privacy by making sound.
Kazuma: What the heck?! That's awesome!
(Y/N): But...
Vanir: Its flaw is that the sound it creates to mask your business is so loud, it attracts monsters, and the mechanism for generating water is so powerful it causes a localized disaster.
Kazuma: Does nothing in this store work without any problems?!
(Y/N): Heh, nope. Wiz has a unique gift when it comes to stocking useless merchandise. And the ones that do work I have a tendency to take.
Vanir: But he does pay them off eventually. If I take my eyes off them even for a second, Wiz, she purchases the most bizarre things, while several items go missing when (Y/N) is manning the store... Actually since your taking one of them on a trip...
Kazuma: Huh?
Timeskip
Aqua: Hey! I told you two to get the best seats What is that on your back?
You look back at Wiz who was sleeping on your back.
(Y/N): It's Wiz. Who else would it be?
Aqua: I know that! So you're babysitting? That's fine, but she's kind of fading away.
(Y/N): Damn it! Hold on Wiz!
Darkness: A trip... Father once took me to the capital when I was a chi- *you use drain touch* Aiieeee!
(Y/N): Sorry Darkness! You were the closest since I can't use Aqua.
Wiz: Huh? It's you (Y/N). *watches you get strangled by Darkness*
(Y/N): *choking* I said I was sorry! It was an emergency!
???: Hey let him go!
???: Yeah that's right!
Darkness let's go as you fell to your knees and felt air return to your lungs. You felt a hand pat your back as you looked up to see Utsuho and Rin looking at you in concern.
(Y/N): Okuu? Orin? What are the two of you doing here?
Utsuho: Well you see... Since we are technically the bodyguards to Satori and Koishi, we are expected to protect the Komeiji family members...
Rin: And since you're technically their fiance our protection extends to you as well now.
Wiz: (Y/N), when did you get engaged?!
(U/N): I'll tell you about it later Wiz, but you two. I thank you for being willing to protect me, but I can protect myself.
Rin: We know that, that's why we kept our distance for now. But since you're heading out of town we decided to help keep you safe.
(Y/N): It's because I'm going to a hot spring isn't it?
Utsuho: W-What?! Of course not! We want to keep you safe, even if it's at a town famous for hot springs!
(Y/N): You're a bad liar Okuu, but if you two want to come along I have no problem with it. I'd enjoy uor company.
Utsuho: Oh I see! You want the two of us to come in the mixed baths with you!
(Y/N): W-What?! Don't say things like that out loud!
Utsuho: But you do! I mean you've already seen Orin in the bath and I don't mind, so there's no problem!
Rin: *blushing* Okuu! How did you know about that?!
Utsuho: Satori told me. And don't worry (Y/N), she also told me about your thoughts about me.
(Y/N): *blushing* She said she wouldn't!
Wiz: Um... What are you talking about?
Utsuho: Oh that (Y/N) here sometimes imagins us na-
(Y/N): *covers her mouth* That's enough Okuu! Let's just go! Come on Wiz!
You dragged Okuu over to the cart that Aqua was standing in front of.
Aqua: Oh there you are (Y/N). Who are these two?
(Y/N): I guess they're my bodyguards. This is Rin and the one I'm silencing is Utsuho.
Rin: It's nice to meet you!
Utsuho: *waves*
Aqua: It's nice to meet you as well. Kazuma went to buy our tickets, but do you two need tickets?
Rin: No we already got ours.
(Y/N): So you already planned on coming no matter what I said...
Utsuho: *breaks free* That's right!
Small Timeskip
You were in the wagon with Aqua looking at the thing that was taking a seat in the wagon. Rin and Utsuho were in the wagon behind you already in their seats.
Red Thing: *sounds*
(Y/N): What is that thing?
Aqua: I'll ask. *turns to the person outside* Hey, mister, why is one seat already filled? What si ti?
Person: That's a baby red dragon, miss. I was already paid for a single seat, so... It'll be uncomfortable, but one of you will have to bear with riding in the back.
Kazuma: In that case...
Aqua: Rock-paper-scissors! I think rock-paper-scissors is the best way to handle such things!
Wiz: In that case, I'll take the-
(Y/N): No, Wiz. Let's give everybody a chance.
Kazuma: Sounds good, Aqua. Rock-paper-scissors, huh?
Aqua: Okay, here we go!
Everyone: Rock-paper-scissors!
Everyone drew paper except for Kazuma, who drew scissors.
Kazuma: Looks like I'm clear.
Aqua: Wait! No one said it was by elimination! The five of us play until a single loser is decided!
Kazuma: You wanna play against me, then? We'll play three times, and if I lose even once, I'll sit in the back.
Aqua: You're serious?
Kazuma: Yes.
Aqua: So, do you even know how probability works?
Kazuma: Yep.
Aqua: It's next to impossible for you to win three in a row!
Kazuma: *serious expression* Well, I've never lost at rock-paper-scissors.
(Y/N): Aw man! You're about to get it Aqua!
Really Small Timeskip
You watched as Kazuma walked away with Aqua being dragged while holding on to him.
Aqua: This isn't right! Something's wrong! You cheated, didn't you?! Please one more! Just one more time!
Kazuma: You mean it? This is the last time.
Aqua: You accepted! You accepted, didn't you, Kazuma?! I don't know how you were cheating, but if you want to play that way, I have a trick up my sleeve, too! Blessing!
Kazuma: Hey, that's dirty! You buffed your luck with magic!
Aqua: Hey, luck is a factor in skill! And magic skill is a factor in luck! now, here we go! Rock-paper-scissors!
Another small timeskip
Aqua: Why?!
Kazuma: Even when I was a kid, I never lost at rock-paper-scissors.
Aqua: You coward! What is that?! No fair! It's cheating! Some kind of cheating ability! You were born with some kind of ability?! Then that cancels out the gracious help I've been offering to you! Send me back! Send me back to the heavenly realm, you dirty cheat!
Kazuma: Hey, you little bitch! Are you saying my special ability is being able to win at rock-paper-scissors?! Are you an idiot?! How is that gonna help me fight monsters?!
(Y/N): You can always play them in it. I'm sure they'll leave afterward.
Kazuma: Not helping (Y/N)! And the thing that pisses me off the most is the fact that you describe what you've been doing as "gracious help"! Cut the crap! Gracious, my ass! If I could trade you in for a special power I would've done it a long time ago!
Aqua: *tearing up* Kazuma, I can't believe you went there! *pulling on Kazuma's face, who reverses it* Stop it! Quite pulling on my cheeks!
Megumin: Should we do something?
(Y/N): Nah, let them solve this.
Darkness: Oh! Where are you going to sit (Y/N)? There's only enough room for the four of us and Aqua is taking up the back.
(Y/N): Don't worry about me. I have my ways. Shanghai, Hourai let's go!
You walked off as the Dolls followed you.
Small Timeskip
Caravan leader: The caravan to Arcanretia is pulling out.
The caravan takes off as Aqua, Kazuma, Wiz, Megumin, and Darkness take in the sights of the areas they passed. Darkness is amazed by everything well Kazuma seems content with the trip as Megumin was holding the baby red dragon while Wiz held Chumosuke.
Aqua: Kazuma! My butt hurts like crazy! Can someone switch with me?
Kazuma: We'll move to a different wagon when we get to a stop. Hang in there.
Aqua: Aww, man!
Small Timeskip
The caravan was in a desert area when Kazuma noticed something in the distance.
Kazuma: Foresight! *sees a dust cloud* What is that? *turns to driver* Excuse me.
(Y/N): Yes?
Kazuma: (Y/N)?! Why are you the driver?!
(Y/N): Well, you see, the actual driver left to use the restroom, but he didn't return when the caravan started taking off. So I decided that someone had to drive the wagon, so I hopped on in the driver seat. Poor guy even left his wallet in the front, I mean who does that? At least I got some extra eris. Now, what did you need?
Kazuma: Well, there's a dust cloud headed in this direction... *points* Any clue what it could be?
(Y/N): Hmm? Around here the only thing that'd kick up dirt would be a pack of lizard runners. But you should know what happened to them, right Kazuma? Hehe. Well, it might be a sand whale kicking up some sand. Although it might also be some Running Hawk Kites.
Kazuma: How do you know all this stuff?
(Y/N): It's called reading a book Kazuma. You should try it, but they are dangerous monsters. When the mating season starts, to get the attention of females, the males compete in a mating ritual like a chicken race. They charge straight at the hardest thing they can find and only turn away at the last second, They are probably charging into some rocks, don't worry Kazuma.
Kazuma: Well if you say so.
Kazuma takes his seat again but uses foresight again to see that they are getting closer. He comes to talk to you again.
Kazuma: (Y/N), they seem to be heading this way at quite a clip...
(Y/N): Yeah that's them alright. You know... What's Darkness's armor made out of again?
Kazuma: *look of dread* Adamantite.
(Y/N): Aww, crap.
Darkness: Kazuma, Kazuma! Oh, (Y/N), you're here too. Anyway, a bunch of incredibly fast creatures is heading right this way! And it feels like their gaze is fixed on me! They look so intense!
Kazuma: So it was you?!
(Y/N): Sorry, gotta stop the wagon. Just sit back and while the adventures they hired to protect the caravan.
Kazuma: *grabs Darkness* Hey Darkness! Those monsters are after you! They charge at the hardest thing they can find! They're after your rock-hard muscles!
Darkness: Now, Kazuma. In spite of it all, I'm still a woman. Don't call my muscles hard. I know what it is, My armor is partially composed of adamantite I'm sure that's what's attracting them. It's true! Don't give me that look! My body is not that hard!
Kazuma: *jumping out with Darkness* Megumin, Aqua, we're up! We don't really need to fight this time, but it'd kind of our fault they're heading this way! We need to help clean our mess.
Wiz: I'll help, too!
Kazuma: Stay in the wagon and protect the driver, Wiz!
Wiz: Okay!
(Y/N): What? I can take care of myself.
The hired adventures came out to protect the caravan as the Hawk Kites could be seen. Before anyone could move, Darkness ran ahead of everyone. The other adventures thought she was the skill decoy, which allows a crusader to attract the attention of monsters.
(Y/N): They couldn't be any more wrong. *Shanghai lands on your head* Oh! Shanghai, it's about time you got up, where's Hourai?
Wiz: She's right here.
You turn to see Hourai sitting on Wiz's head. You then turn your attention back just in time to see Darkness get bind by ropes that she jumped in front of. You saw Kazuma start apologizing to the people for Darkness.
(Y/N): Can't we just do one thing without it turning into a fiasco?