I tug the blanket off of me as I get up from the chair and stride towards the front door. When I look out the window beside the front door, I spot Hamilton standing by our two horses. I watch as he heaves a saddle onto my horse before buckling it to secure it onto the horse. He next slings a small pack onto the back of my horse behind the saddle before moving onto his own horse and doing the same.
He looks up as if sensing my stare, and catches sight of me standing by the window, watching him. Our eyes meet. Knowing there's no use in hiding anymore since he knows I'm awake, I open the door and head into the front yard.
It smells like rain outside, and the air is thick and heavy with moisture as the water evaporates from the ground. I wave a hand in front of my face to test if that helps with the steaminess to no avail. When I'm within eight feet of Hamilton and the horses, I stop. He casts me a careful glance, but he doesn't stop what he's doing. Instead, he stoops low to double check the saddle's buckles.
Finding it easier to talk with him stooped over like that and not facing me, I speak up, "I'm sorry."
His fingers still on the straps before he resumes his work. He says in a casual voice, "Why? Your points were all valid. Why would you want to be with me, an untrustworthy, poor, bastard orphan?"
He stands up then, reaching up to his whole height. I realize just then how much taller he is than me. About six inches taller. He regards me with a wistful look before he quickly looks away.
I burst into action, quickly protesting, "That's not true."
"Which part," he deadpans as he lifts his eyes to mine.
"The untrustworthy part. And the part where I don't want to be with you because you're an untrustworthy, poor, bastard orphan."
"Ah, so you admit you don't want to be with me. Those are just not the reason why." He tilts his head to the side, his face concerningly calm as he continues, "Tell me, what is the reason why you don't want me anymore?"
"No," I counter firmly, "I do want to be with you. Stop twisting my words." He only stares at me, waiting, so I continue, "One, I do trust you. I trust you with my life. And two, well I already said it."
"Say it again."
I let out a huff before I oblige and say, "I want to be with you. And I realize I overreacted earlier. I shouldn't have been angry at you." We stare at each other for a solid ten seconds, waiting for the other to break or recount on their opinion or promise.
"But you do know that I accept you as you are now, right?" Hamilton asks, raising a brow. "It's not like I'm pining for the old Eliza. I still love you."
"Yes, I get that now," I reply earnestly, wanting to be finished with our fight. "So, can we forget that ever happened?"
He stares at me for a moment before cracking his usual self-assured, confident smile and proclaiming, "Your wish is my command."
And I know then that we've resolved our differences.
***
When we arrive back at the Pastures, everyone is in some state of panic. My mother lets out a cry of relief when she catches sight of Hamilton and me walking through the front door, and she dashes over to us.
"Where have you two been?" she demands as she brushes at my dress with a hand and then reaches over and fixes Hamilton's slightly skewed uniform jacket.
"Ah, I wanted to show Betsy something," Hamilton replies easily, and he discreetly shifts away from my mother's worried fingers.
"Pray tell, what did you want to show Eliza so badly that the two of you had to sneak out?" my mother asks firmly as she puts her hands on her hips.
Gosh, I feel like a teenager who just went on a date and came back late to find my parents waiting for me angrily at home. I quickly interject before Hamilton can answer. "Just a little place in town. There's nothing really to tell. Have you been looking for us all day?"
My mother gapes at me before shouting, "The whole house has been looking for you!" She moves behind us and begins pushing us inside. "Come with me," she orders briskly, before hustling in front of us and heading farther into the house. Hamilton and I exchange worried looks before we follow after.
Hamilton's hand brushes against mine as we walk, and I bite back my smile. My mother walks about fifteen feet in front of us, so when she stops before the living room door, she has to wait a few seconds for us to catch up. She gives us a little, indignant sniff before marching inside the living room.
"Look who I found," she announces right as we walk in, and I blush as literally everyone who is currently staying at the house looks at us.
And I mean everyone; Washington, Laurens, Lafayette, McHenry, Peggy, Papa, my mother, and Aaron Burr. I find myself the most nervous in regards to Washington, whose cool eyes shift from me to Hamilton.
He stares at Hamilton the longest before saying calmly, but with quiet fury, "While you were busy galavanting around, Colonel Hamilton, we were able to sketch out our next battle plan."
Hamilton's eyes widen at this, and he looks like he might say something before he stops himself short. Finally, he says with reserve, "I'm glad to hear it." He pauses before asking, as if unable to contain his curiosity any longer, "Am I to be given field command, sir?"
I notice Lafayette give Hamilton a sympathetic look. I can't seem to share his sentiment. I would be glad if Hamilton wasn't given field command. Relief courses through my body when Washington replies coldly, "No."
Hamilton stiffens at his words, and he looks about ready to argue about it before he stops himself short once more. He takes a breath and says with only a slight tremor of anger, "Sir, I believe I will be more useful on the field instead of writing-"
"No," Washington counters firmly. "You are to remain behind to send dispatches to the other generals."
Hamilton's mouth thins at this, but he doesn't say another word. Instead, he glares at the ground as if imagining the floor to be Washington. "When are we to depart?" he asks, not tearing his eyes from the ground.
"A week."
Hamilton dips his head once in acknowledgment and stands there shiftily as if wanting to leave the room, but not sure how to approach it. Washington makes the choice for him when he stands and says, "I am going to retire to my room for now."
Everybody hurriedly stands up as well and murmurs their response. The responses are a mixture of "okay", "of course, sir", and "tell me if you need anything". This last response, though, comes solely from my mother. And with that, Washington strides out of the room.
Everybody stands there awkwardly before McHenry says to break the silence, "I can't wait for dinner. I'm already starving."
This sets my mother into motion, and she hurriedly says, "Oh, I can cook some appetizers up real quick for you gentlemen."
She discreetly shoves Peggy towards the door to help her, and Peggy casts me a plea for help with her eyes before she has to turn back around. McHenry and Aaron Burr follow after them, leaving only Lafayette, Laurens, Hamilton, and me in the room.
"So," Laurens drawls when we're all alone. "Where were you two all afternoon?"
Hamilton clears his throat, obviously uncomfortable, before he replies, "I wanted to show Eliza something."
"And risk General Washington's wrath?" Lafayette teases with a grim smile. "Only something truly important could make you risk his temper." I can't help but blush at this, and Lafayette notices and laughs. "You're too modest, Eliza!" he chides jokingly, and I huff a laugh.
Hamilton, obviously still hung up on the previous topic with Washington, speaks up, "I don't understand why General Washington won't give me field command. I've shown my skill in battle and leadership on the field. I was the last American soldier to leave New York, and you two saw me at the Battle of Princeton. I'm a valuable fighter."
"Perhaps that is why he does not want you to fight," Lafayette reasons. "You're too valuable to risk getting killed."
Hamilton's look in response to Lafayette's words shows his distaste of this answer. "Washington can't keep me from fighting," he argues angrily. "I'm not dependent on him. I could easily leave his side."
"Alexander, don't leave his side," Laurens pleads. "We need you."
Hamilton only shakes his head in disdain. "It will happen one way or another, Laurens. Just you wait."
***
It somehow doesn't come as a surprise when later that night, Alexander slips into my room. I'm already half-asleep, so when I catch sight of him, I merely mumble, "Am I dreaming? Is this a dream?"
Alexander chuckles a little as he lays down beside me and replies softly, "No, this is real. I'm real."
I twist to face him and frown, my sleep-addled brain too foggy to clearly decide if he's telling the truth and that this is, in fact, real. "Well, Alexander, if you're truly real, then I would feel you if you touched me."
And then he's kissing me. It's a soft, gentle kind of kiss that lasts only a moment before he pulls away, and whispers huskily, "Can you decide now if I'm real or not?"
I nestle against him, my head snuggled against his chest as my eyes flutter closed. "If you're real, then I am the luckiest woman alive," I murmur, sleep already beginning to tug me down.
"Then I am the luckiest man alive," Hamilton replies quietly, wrapping his arms protectively around me. But I'm too sleepy to respond so, allowing myself to be vulnerable, I relax in his arms. It's easy to fall back asleep with Hamilton beside me.
***
Peggy and I are sitting by the trees near the outskirts of the house, reading together when Hamilton, Laurens, and Lafayette walk by, talking loudly amongst themselves. They think they're alone, obviously, by how loud they're talking and how open they are with their expressions.
Peggy nudges me and gives me a sly look as if saying, What are the odds?
I return her look, and we both watch the three men walk closer to where we sit hidden away. The nearby bushes and trees must be hiding us from their view.
"Where are we attacking?" Hamilton asks Laurens and Lafayette. He's on the right side of Laurens who walks in the middle between Hamilton and Lafayette.
"Monmouth," Lafayette answers. "We received intel that that is where the British are headed next."
"And who exactly is leading our men?" Hamilton inquires with narrowed eyes.
"General Greene will take the right flank, General Stirling the left, General Wayne will provide reinforcements, and I am to take the rear," Lafayette answers with a tinge of pride. His golden epaulettes glint in the sunlight as he walks.
"You were put in command?" Hamilton asks with astonishment. "How did that occur?"
"General Lee disapproved of the plan. He thinks we are using too much of the army, so he declined the command. Washington gave it to me instead," Lafayette answers cheerfully with a shrug as if to say, what can you do?
Laurens speaks up, "If it makes you feel any better, Alexander, I have to run dispatches, too. Besides, it's not like we're not going to be fighting at all. We'll still fight, just not as the commanding officer."
At this point, they're about ten feet away, and Peggy and I shrink back to hide more in the underbrush. I hold my breath as they pass by within three feet of us.
They're right in front of us when Laurens adds, "And don't forget that running dispatches is dangerous since we have to go through the fighting to reach the generals."
I distantly hear Hamilton reply, "No doubt about it," when they've passed us. When they're a safe distance away, Peggy and I exchange exhilarated looks at our stealth, and I can't help but grin.
"Hercules Mulligan would be so proud," Peggy whispers, and I throw back my head and laugh. But then I somber up when I recall the conversation we had just heard. Hamilton is going to fight. To use his exact words, there was 'no doubt about it'.
Peggy must've sensed my gloomy turn of thoughts because she swiftly stands up and hauls me up to my feet with her. "What?" I protest weakly as she takes my hands and leads us out of the trees.
"We're going to do that dance. What did you call it? Freestyle dance?" Peggy asks with a frown before her face smooths over, and she answers herself, "Yeah, it was freestyle dance. Come on!"
I allow her to twirl me around, and I follow half-heartedly. "This feels stupid," I protest as Peggy turns me.
"No, it's not stupid!" Peggy counters.
"When's the last time we've had a ball?" I ask, halting in my tracks in front of her.
Peggy purses her lips and actually has to think about it. "A while," she finally admits with a little smile. "We used to always attend balls," she reminisces wistfully. "We were the stars of the ball. I guess now that Angelica is married and gone, that's why we no longer go. She was the leader, the socializer, the talker."
I nod my agreement before suggesting with forced cheerfulness, "It's time we change that. We don't need Angelica to have fun."
"Hey! Aren't we having fun now?"
I roll my eyes playfully and reply, "Of course, my dear Peggy, but we need to socialize more--" I shrug "--Attending more balls is a good way to do that."
"Hey, don't act like you're Miss-I'm-single-Eliza-Schuyler," Peggy remarks pointedly with a disapproving look. "Need I remind you that you're Mrs-I'm-Hamilton's-wife-Eliza-Hamilton?"
I frown as I counter, "I'm not defined as Hamilton's wife. I'm defined as simply Eliza Schuyler Hamilton." Peggy raises a skeptical brow at this, and I scowl at her before reminding myself that women in this time period don't think like that. I quickly continue, "We're getting off track. What I mean is-"
Peggy waves a dismissive hand and says, "Yeah, yeah. I get it," before taking my hand and giving me a fast, unexpected twirl.
My dress fans out around me as I twirl, the world spinning in a blur around me. I let out a laugh and raise my arms above my head. Peggy reaches out and grabs one of my hands again. She reels me in towards her before spinning me back out.
I let out a gleeful laugh as I twirl before I suddenly find myself running face first into Hamilton, our hands already joined as if to begin a dance. "Oh, I didn't see you there," I say, suddenly shy.
Hamilton smiles. "This may have been orchestrated."
"Oh, really?" I reply with a playful smirk. But the only thing I can really think about is how close he's standing to me.
My heart races as he leans in a little closer and whispers, "I haven't danced with you since that ball when we were attacked." And just like that, I'm standing in that room again with that British officer, and my skin goes cold and pale.
Hamilton must've noticed the subtle shift in my features because he asks with a frown, "What's wrong?"
I force a smile on my face before saying, "Nothing," and stepping away from him. Hamilton looks at the four feet of empty space separating us before his eyes rise to meet mine with a look of confusion. I clear my throat and say awkwardly, "I have to go and help inside."
I turn and brush past Peggy, who's been standing there the whole time, as I walk hurriedly towards the house. Peggy gives me a confused look as I walk past, and I hear her ask Alexander, "What happened?"
But I can't have anyone touching me right now. Not when all I can think about is that officer's arms wrapped too tightly around my waist and then grabbing me roughly by the arm and dragging me-
Someone's hand grabs my arm, and I let out a scream of surprise and terror as I jump away from the person, only to find Laurens standing there with a frown on his face.
"What-" he starts with evident confusion, and suddenly Hamilton and Peggy are running up with bewildered looks on both of their faces.
"Eliza, are you okay? Was that you that screamed?" Alexander asks in a panic, his eyes scanning my body for any injury. When he doesn't find anything amiss, he looks back up at my face and waits for my answer.
"Uh, no. I mean yes, that was me, but I'm not hurt. I was just, uh, surprised. Surprised to see Laurens." My fingers tap erratically against my thigh without my notice until Hamilton glances down at my hand and notices my nervous tic, causing me to therefore notice it, too.
I quickly still my fingers, but it's too late to conceal my nerves. And it's definitely too late when Hamilton glances back at me with a questioning look on his face and sees the alarm in my eyes before I can school my face into neutrality.
He asks gently, "Eliza, are you sure you're okay? Do you need to talk about some-"
"No, I'm fine," I interrupt him briskly. I start backing away and towards the house as I call, "I have to go. I'm sorry. Bye." And I quickly hurry off, the front door slamming shut behind me.
When the door is closed behind me, I press my back against it and tilt my head up towards the ceiling as I try to control my breathing. I begin to feel the panic rise within me, and I try to stifle it and bury it underneath the surface, to pretend that all is well, but I can't stop the betraying tear that falls down one cheek.
A whimper of a sob escapes me, and I slide down the front door to the ground and hug my knees to my chest as I allow the tears to flow freely down my face. The sound of footsteps approaching has me jumping to my feet and hastily wiping my cheeks and eyes. I'm still pulling myself hastily together when Lafayette comes strutting into the entryway.
He catches sight of me and notices my obvious distress. He stops walking absurdly and asks with a concerned look, "Eliza, what is wrong?"
He takes a step closer, and I discreetly shift away from him so he can't see my face as easily as I reply, "Oh, nothing. Don't concern yourself. I'm just tired that's all."
Lafayette gives me a skeptical look, but he doesn't press for more information. He only says, "If you need to tell me anything, don't hesitate."
I nod, and deeming himself satisfied with my answer, Lafayette walks out the front door. After that little incident, I retreat to my room, where I then throw myself onto my bed and bury my face in my pillow.
I breathe in the lingering smell of Alexander on the silk material, and I feel my heart rate slow, and my body relax. Soon, I've drifted off into sleep.
***
IT'S ELIZA HAMILTON'S BIRTHDAY!! I just want to say, happy birthday to you, Eliza! :D