"Need help? " he offered as Anika sat packing her stuff after the evening tea.
"No. I m fine. Oh yes your clothes, they are--" she hadn't taken them out yet. He was wearing what he had got. He preferred more formal colors and she hadn't seen him dress in just pants and shirt, there was always a blazer or coat.
"I don't think I'd wear them again. Just keep a few and leave the remaining?"
"Hmm."
"Let me help you." he said sitting beside her. He picked up one of her tops and started folding it.
"Shivaay - I will do it. It's fine. Really!"
"No problem, I will help."
"It's not required Shivaay. I will do it. "
He looked into her eyes. "Alright if you don't like it - fine." He said irritated, although trying not to express it. But his words sort of did.
Anika felt bad for putting him off like that. She saw him take his laptop and sit at the other side of the bed. He outstreched his legs and then put a pillow over his thighs and then placed the laptop over it. She could see he was pissed. But he looked adorable. It had been a while she saw him like that. She silently continued packing. Thoughts of leaving this home, once again clouding her mind.
Half an hour later he go up and went in for a shower. Anika quickly decided to go down and see what Pinky's dinner plans were. She placed the suitcase on the side and hurriedly shut the door of the cupboard on the way out. Well, yes she did not want another awkward moment when he came out of shower. But how long would this go on? He knew she was angry. Still had the nerves to pretend like nothing happened. Urgh.
Did he really not know how much his decisions and everything he had done hurt her?
Anika entered a while later, to find him dressed in an armani suit. He was working on the pitch black tie against the white shirt. Oh he was going out! He hadn't told her that. Of course he was irritated. God, he was struggling. She looked at the other ties, they were all knotted. Why couldn't he save the struggle and wear one of those. Maybe he was in mood for black. Stubborn man!
She went around the room picking up the neatly ironed clothes and putting them in place. She saw him from the corner of his eyes. He was trying hard but failing miserably. Look at that face! If the tie was a person it had been strangled to death multiple times. She was sure he would tear the tie down in two minutes if he didn't get it right.
She walked over to him slowly and gently placed her hand on his elbow turning him.
"I am doing it." He said in an easy tone but his indifference was evident.
"I can see!" She commented her fingers reaching up to the tie around is collar. Focusing her eyes on the tie she slowly straightened it first and then putting it around went on to knot it. They could hear each other breathe. Anika tried hard to keep her attention restricted to the task in hand and not his prying eyes.
A sudden gush of pain filled his heart as she did not even look at him. He was waiting. Waiting for her to look at him. His vexation was growing. He looked away. Being angry on her was the last thing he would want to do. He had never let her be target of his anger and did never want that. She knew how bad he could get when he was angry. She had seen him loose his temper multiple times at others. But with her he held on to all the patience he had. She was his wife, and a wife should be treated with love, not anger.
But, that day he had completely lost it and had screamed at her over the phone. He still remembered how she had tried calming him and when that did not happen she had screamed back. Even though she screamed she was only asking him to come back. After that it was only her pleads and his anger. Oh he shouldn't have shouted. Worse in anger he had ignored her for whole five days. But he did not want to melt with her words.
He looked back at her.
"Done" she said, settling the lapels of his coat, quite naturally.
She was about to move when he held her hand and pulled her close. Her body collided with his and she stared at him startled. The heat between them was intense. Their hearts on fire and so the desires.
"Thank you." He said slowly inching his forehead close to hers.
Her eyes fluttered. She looked down.
He left her hand slowly. Surprised, she looked up at him. She had expected him to come close or maybe -maybe kiss. She knew he was waiting for the intimacy. She could read his eyes. She knew when he looked at her like that he wanted her. But his sudden withdrawal was incredulous.
Feeling dejected he left the room, saying he'd be back in a few hours and would have dinner outside. Anika simply stared at his back. Her hands rested on the dressing table behind her. This entire thing was causing her aggravation. She was scared she was collapsing and couldn't take it any longer. Maybe she should talk it out.
Tell him. Tell him what? that she was mad at him. She was out of love? She hated him for leaving her for so long. He made her feel dejected. She was miserable after he was gone? She freaking needed him by her aide. Because she depended on him. That was what she should tell him?
So that he could call her immature again and ask her to be practical. But the truth was nothing mattered to him as much as he did. Perhaps that's where her misery began.
He mattered to her, too much!
Wiping he tears she brought out her diary. Maybe be writing it out would help. She wrote all her frustration. Worse was - all her frustration was directed at him and was because of him. "I hate you Shivaay. I hate you !" She said shutting it and hurriedly she packed them up. One more day and they'd leave this place. Silently she went down for dinner though she had no appetite.
* * *
He entered slowly. The dinner meeting had gone on a little longer than he had expected. Luckily, enough he always had his spare key. Everyone at home was asleep probably. He shut the door and his eyes rested on her sleeping form. Peeling off his blazer and getting rid of the tie he glanced at her. "I love you!" He said staring at her sleeping form. Taking his dress for the night he walked over to the bathroom.
Once out, he slipped beside her at his side of the bed. That's when something caught his attention. He picked up to see some sort of pills. She had been taking sleeping pills? Dismayed he stared at her. What in the hell was wrong with her? Sleeping pills? Angrily he placed the bottle aside in the adjoining extension of the bed. He shifted close to her. She seemed in deep sleep.
"What's wrong Anika? Tell me. Why are you doing this to yourself, to us? " he gently ran his palm over her head. "Anika it's getting painful. Please. Please don't do this. It hurts. It hurts when you look at me like - like I m someone you never knew. It hurts when being so close you are so far." He broke into sobs. "It hurts. And I know this hurts you as much as it hurts me. Then why are you doing this?" He kissed her forehead slipping beside her. Hugging her as though if he wasn't close she would go more away. This distance between them was killing him. He kissed her forehead as tears streamed down his cheek. "I love you, I love you very much. "
Holding her in his arms sleep took over.
( Yeah something is extremely wrong with me. Another heartbreaking update.)😟
-Anami!