Wasn't going to post this today because I had just updated last night but fuck it. I've had this finished for weeks. It's been a lot time coming guys. I want to hear how you felt about this chapter below.
-
"Peyton, you need to calm down." Natasha called out to me in an hushed tone as I quickly walked away from Clint's farmhouse. I stopped and turned to look at her. She knew. She knew this whole fucking time. He had three kids. Three fucking kids. And a wife. Three kids, well two kids and one on the way. A little fucking baby boy. My heeled boots dug into his stupid lawn. I swallowed the bile in my throat. My hair blew around my face, loose from its ponytail.
"Fuck you, Natasha! Fuck you! You knew this entire fucking time didn't you?" I snap at her. She looks guilty. She didn't have to say anything, her face said it all. She knew about it this the whole times. Jesus fucking Christ I wanted to kick her ass.
"It wasn't my place to tell you. I didn't approve of Clint's affair with you." She says softly, trying to calm me down. It was an affair. I was the other woman. I had been involved in an affair. I was the woman I most despised. Home-wrecker. Home-wrecker. Home-wrecker.
"Was he already married when it started?" I asked, my voice small and tiny. Tears filled my eyes. Natalia shook her head. That didn't make me feel better, but I needed to know. I wanted to vomit. I was sick of the situation I was in. I hated cheaters.
"He was going to propose to her when you guys first started.."She trails off. The empty feeling fills my stomach and I feel sick, but I step forward anyway. Tears brimmed my eyes and I looked at her. We were a while away from the house, but my voice is almost a whisper. I doubt anyone could hear me. Not even Clint with those damn hearing aids I had made by hand would hear what I had to say.
"When was his first child born, Natalia?" I ask and she looks away, pressing her lips together. I ask again this time a little louder, "When, Natasha?"
"He found out Laura was pregnant a few weeks before you found out about..." She tells me, her eyes looking at my stomach. The blood. My baby. My baby. I choke out a sob, tears running down my face. That's why he wanted me to get rid of it. His wife was already pregnant. I was just his side piece. I couldn't be pregnant. Oh my God. Oh my God.
I step away from Natasha, pressing a hand to stomach. A hundred feet away stood Clint's house that had his little family inside and Natasha had known the whole time. I was horrified that she had kept all of this from me. I wanted to puke. I wanted to kill her. I wanted to kill Clint. I wanted to die. Whore. Whore. Whore. I was nothing more than those women that Howard had slept around with. Women who had made my mother Maria cry and hurt intensively.
"I-I'm leaving. I can't be here." I tell her, not caring to wipe the tears off my face. She steps forward, her mouth opening to protest, "No. You stay the fuck away from me. I'm leaving. I can't be here." With this and visions that Wanda Maximoff had put me through-it was all too much. Thor and Steve came out of the farmhouse just as I fly off. I felt dirty. I felt like garbage.
-
It doesn't take long for me to land in front of the mansion upstate. I let myself in, locking the door behind me. Tears are still pouring down my face, covering my dirty cheeks. Glimpses of the vision that Wanda Maximoff gave me hit me, of me on that night. The blood, me clutching my stomach and screaming "My baby!" Over and over and over. My hand moves down to my stomach again as I walk through the grand home. My footsteps echo. It was just me in this big big house. I've never felt more alone. I could've gone to Matt's and not be alone, but I needed to be alone.
I deserved it.
I walk to the great fireplace that's in the living area, carefully stacking wood inside before lighting it. I grabbed a blanket off a couch, ignoring the dust and sat down in front of the fireplace. I stripped myself of my suit and wrapped the blanket around me. I felt so empty and numb as my tears dried. I shut my eyes and wrapped my arms around myself. I sit like that for a moment before getting up and walking over to liquor cabinet. I open it up and grab a bottle of wine. Within a second, I broke my more than three years of sobriety. I needed to not feel. Today had too many feelings.
I could've had a baby, a child. I could've raised that kid on my own and never let the kid around it's piece of shit father.
Fuck you, Clint Barton.
Fuck you, Natasha Romanoff.
Fuck you, Bennett bitches.
I sit back down with my bottle of wine. I grab my phone from my pocket of the suit. So many missed calls. So many voicemails. I look at them, most of them from Steve or Natasha, but a few of them are from Tony. I hold the phone in my hand before sending a text to Matt. His phone would tell him what it said. I saw the three little dots pop up as he typed out his reply. I'll never know what it was because I threw my phone into the fire and made said fire hotter. My phone cracked as it burned.
I took another swig of wine.
-
I'm passed out when Tony comes in. He wakes me up, making the room spin around me. I squint up at the both of them, the fire casting shadows over his face. Tony looks pissed, but I can't tell if it's at me.
"I've been calling you for the last few hours. Why didn't you answer me?" Tony asks, his eyes softening a bit. I looked at the fire.
"I threw it in there. Didn't want anyone to disturb my bout of depression." I murmur, looking back up at my brother. His eyes are on me so I decided to look at the bottles of alcohol around me. They were mostly still full, except for the wine bottle. I had jumped from bottle to bottle before crying myself to sleep.
"Kid, you just can't leave like that and not tell anyone where you're going." Tony says calmly and I look up at him. My throat is raw from me crying and screaming at the world. My eyes hurt and I just know the mascara I had put on today is all over my cheeks. He's talking to me to like he did when I was little I wouldn't stop crying. I hated it. I didn't deserve his compassion.
"Did you know that Clint found out that she was pregnant a few weeks before I told him I was pregnant? That's why he told me to get rid of it." I mutter out, tears sprinting back into my eyes, "Natasha...Natasha knew the whole fucking time."
"Jesus Christ." He murmurs, running a hand through his hair. Tony's eyes soften even more. I smile a joyless smile at him. I get up, grabbing the nearest bottle. The blanket is wrapped around me, following me like a train as I walk. I resembled a lonesome gothic bride wrapped up in that dark blanket. I take a sip of the alcohol in my hand, enjoying the burn down my throat. Tony looks heartbroken at my actions, at the sight of me like this.
"I know you don't want to hear this, brother dearest, but you want to know what he did a few months after I lost the baby?" I ask, turning to look at Tony, "He showed up in my office in Washington DC. I think he wanted to fuck me or something. We got into a fight, a nasty one. He hit me. He had the audacity to hit me after he told me to get a fucking abortion. After he didn't even fucking call!"
"Calm down, Peyton." Tony says and I take another swig. I shake my head, my cheeks wet. We hadn't really last talked since I had yelled at him over Ultron, but that catastrophe was taking a back seat.
"No! I am not going to fucking calm down! I-I gave that asshole everything! I loved him! I fucking loved him! I was nothing but a cheap fuck to him! My-Our baby fucking died inside of me and he didn't say shit! I am not going to fucking calm down!" I scream at my brother. I sob, sinking to my knees. I set the bottle down, wrapping my arms around myself. Tony walked over, sitting down beside me. He wrapped his arms around me, kissing my forehead as I cried. My anger wasn't towards him so I shouldn't take it out on him.
"Breathe, breathe. He's an asshole, but you aren't the bad guy in this situation. You didn't know, okay? You didn't know." Tony murmurs to me, rubbing my back. I cry harder into his chest, "You didn't know."
-
Once Tony left, I set the alcohol aside, drying my tears and standing. I let my blanket of a cape fall to the ground, taking off my bra and leaving it near my suit. I continue my walk outside, only in my underwear. I walk until I'm away from the house, but still on the property.
The flames appear on my fingers, obeying me as they climb up my arms. They cover my shoulders before climbing down my body. I float in air, moving to rest on my back as the flames cover my stomach.
I had nothing to lose.
I prayed the Hail Mary and the Our Father before opening my mouth. I give myself entirely into the flame, not caring anymore what happened to me.
The flame crawled into my mouth and erupted all over.
-
Steve and Bruce waited nervously for Tony to come back, which he eventually did. He came without his sister and his eyes were slightly red, lips pressed against each other. Steve got up as Tony motions his head towards the front door. They both walked outside, walking away from the house a bit.
"She's not going to come back here." Tony tells Steve. They completely ignored the fight they had earlier in the day, both of them caring more about the well being of Peyton Stark. Her sudden departure and the state that Steve had found her had made them both uneasy.
"I don't think I've ever seen her so..shocked? I mean I was shocked over seeing that Barton had a family but.." Steve trails off, turning his head to look at Tony. Tony sighs, crossing his arms.
"Pey didn't know that he was married." Iron Man looks tired and Steve's eyes widen. He thought that maybe there was something between Clint and Peyton, but damn. Steve had feelings for Peyton, but they have been fizzling out since she had started to date Matt. He knew what boundaries existed, but apparently Clint didn't. None of them knew about Clint other than Natasha. The rest of them were completely clueless.
"Clint was the father, wasn't he?" Steve asks, putting his hands in his pockets. Tony waits for a moment before nodding. Steve sighs and looks out at the farm, "How bad is she?"
"Broke her sobriety. After the whole Maximoff messing with her mind thing and now this...it's not good. She's staying at the mansion." Tony turns fully to look at Steve. The blonde man ran a hand through his hair. This whole situation made both of them incredibly angry at this whole situation.
"This makes me want to kick his teeth in." Steve murmurs and Tony grimaces. Hearing something like that from such a golden boy just felt off. Like blasphemy or some perversion.
"He told Peyton to get rid of it because the missus had just told him a few weeks before that she was pregnant. What type of asshole does that?" He asks and Steve's eyes widen even more. They both looked back at the house. Anger rippled through both of them once more.
"Are we just supposed to pretend nothing has happened? And just go back in there like we are a team?" Steve asks. Tony and Bruce's creation has already fractured the team, hell even Peyton was pissed at both of them for actually creating Ultron. Tony sighed and tilted his head up, looking up at the sky.
"It's not our place to tell Mrs Barton that her husband slept around with my sister. It's not our place at all." Tony speaks, adding, "But Peyton did tell me that when we need her, she'll be here. Just keep her away from Clint. Her anger makes the green guy look like a puppy."
"Understood." Steve sighs and he looks at shorter man. Tony looked like the world's weight rested on his shoulders.
"Let's go play pretend, Cap."