You awoke to a room surrounded by darkness. You sat in a chair and you saw that Kazuma was also there. You took notice of the third chair that looked more like a throne.
Kazuma: Where am I? Huh? (Y/N)? Where are we?
(y/n): I don't know, I think we're dead and for some reason, I feel like it's your fault. So I'm going to hit you with a Master Spark.
Kazuma: That's not fair!
(Y/N): Too bad.
Konosuba
You, Aqua and Kazuma were sitting at a table in the guild hall, when Kazuma abruptly slammed his hands on the table.
Kazuma: I want Money!
Aqua: Huh? Everyone wants that, obviously! Anyway, you're entirely unresourceful. You make a goddess sleep in a stable every single night! Aren't you ashamed of yourself? If you understand that then give me more luxury. Spoil me more!
Kazuma: Do you not get why I want more money? Debt! *Aqua flinches* Thanks to the debt you've racked up, most of the reward money we earn from every quest we do is deducted to repay those debts! And (Y/N)'s cut usually goes to help the orphanage.
(Y/N): *glare* Do you have a problem with that Kazuma?
Kazuma: N-No (Y/N)... Sorry. Anyway, just this morning when I awoke in the straw of the stable, my eyelashes were frozen solid! If I keep sleeping in that stable, I'm going to freeze to death for sure!
Aqua: I can't help it! This city may have perished in that battle with Verdia, if not for my super astonishing efforts! You should exalt me more! All of you should praise me, praise me, and spoil me rotten!
Kazuma: Why you attention whore! If your feats were that astounding, then the rewards, accolades, and debt are all yours! *gets up and starts leaving* Pay off your debts on your own.
Aqua: *latches onto Kazuma* Wait! I'm sorry! I apologize for getting carried away, so don't abandon me!
(Y/N): That was a quick change. Oh, hello you two.
Darkness: Hello (Y/N). Why all the fuss in the morning?
Megumin: Do you have some nice job lined up?
(Y/N): I wish. We haven't even started looking for work yet!
Kazuma: That's right, given the current situation...
The five of you look towards the other adventurers as they drink and socialize with each other. They talk about their plans for the day, while some of them are too cold to do anything.
Megumin: The reward for the fighting off a leader in the devil king's army was distributed to every adventurer who participated. There's no reason for anyone to go hunting dangerous winter monsters when they have money. I gladly welcome it, personally.
Darkness: S-So do I. The stronger the enemy, the better.
(Y/N): I don't. I got to make sure that my little sisters are secured.
Aqua: (Y/N), you've given them so much that the Caretaker constantly tries to give you the money back.
Megumin: Huh? Who are you talking about?
(Y/N): Oh! That's right. You didn't show up during my babysitting adventure.
Megumin: Babysitting?
(Y/N): Don't worry about, let's go find a quest!
The five of you head over to the quest board and start examining the options.
Kazuma: The reward is well and good, but there seriously aren't any decent quests...
Darkness: Guys! *points at quest* How about this? A kill quest for a pack of White Wolves. The reward is a million eris! Just imagine a pack of wild beasts making a mess of me...
Kazuma: No.
Megumin: Look over here! A kill quest for a One-Shot bear!
(Y/N): Does that mean we can one-shot the bear or the bear can one-shot us?
Megumin: Now is the time for me to teach it which of us has the stronger one-shot attack with my explosion magic!
Kazuma: I want nothing to do with a monster with such a dangerous-sounding name. I bet we'd die instantly if it so much as grazed our necks.
(Y/N): Eh?! But Kazuma! That so like a lot of fun!
Kazuma: No, (Y/N). Besides, how am I going to tell the children that their big brother was hurt during a quest?
You and Megumin slumped down in disappointment from Kazuma's answer.
(Y/N): Fine, fine. How about this one then? *hands Kazuma quest*
Kazuma: "Defeat The Tyrant of Ice, The White God Ukanlos!" (Y/N), are you serious?! It's worst than Megumin's!
(Y/N): Ok, ok! You don't have to yell!
Kazuma then turns and looks at the job board again.
Kazuma: "The mobile fortress ' Destroyer' is approaching so we are recruiting scouts to predict the route it will take." What is this? What's a "destroyer"?
(Y/N): Beats me... *mutters* probably not a naked purple cat.
Darkness: The destroyer is the destroyer. It's a massive fortress that moves at high speed.
Megumin: It lumbers around and destroys everything. It's oddly popular with children.
Kazuma: I see. I don't get it. *goes back to board* Let's see. What's this? A snow sprite kill quest? Hey, what are Snow Sprites? They don't sound that strong, based on the name, but it says the reward is 100,000 eris each.
Megumin: There are lots of Snow Sprites in the snowy plains. It's said that spring will come half a day sooner for every one you kill. They're very weak monsters, so they're easier to kill, but...
Aqua: If we're accepting that quest, I'll go get ready!
Darkness: Snow Sprites huh?
(Y/N): Sounds interserting, maybe I'll see a snow fairy...
Timeskip
The five of you were outside and wearing your winter clothes as you gazed at a pack of snow sprites.
Kazuma: These are snow sprites?
(Y/N): I wasn't expecting them to be floating snowballs.
Megumin: Then what did you expect?
(Y/N): Something like the Dolls, but made of snow.
Kazuma: *to Aqua* Hey, can't you do something about that outfit? *Everyone looks at Aqua* You look like some dumb kid going cicada-catching in the middle of winter.
Aqua: I can catch Snow Sprites with this, and bottle them up. I had the idea that if we mix them in our drinks, we can have ice-cold drinks whenever we want! Well? Aren't I smart?!
(Y/N): Hmm... Sounds like a sound idea, but... Nevermind. Hey Darkness, are you sure you'll be alright without your armor?
Darkness: No problem. I'm a little cold, but that in itself is... *pants heavily*
(Y/N): W-Well, you seem fine so let's go.
Kill the Snow Sprite!
Kazuma: Number three, wait! Damn it! It's darting all over!
(Y/N): Master Spark! And that makes seven! I'm on a roll! *looks at Dolls* How are you two doing?
The Dolls look at each other and nod. They then turn to you with smug faces and hold up their fingers.
(Y/N): What?! How are you two at twelve already?!
Aqua: There! I caught my fourth one! Guys, look here! *shows off jar* I caught a bunch!
Kazuma: Now!*kills snow sprite*
Megumin: Can I blow away all the ones in the area with explosion magic?
(Y/N): Yeah! Go for it!
Megumin: Roger! *starts spell* By my efflux of deep crimson, topple this white world! Explosion!
Megumin's explosion melts the snow Sprites and created a shockwave that forces us to shield ourselves. When the spell is done a crater is left and Megumin is left laying face first in the snow.
(Y/N): *crouches* You alright there Megumin?
Megumin: I got eight of them. *thumbs up* That makes nine in total. I leveled up even.
Kazuma: Oh, nice going! It would have been cooler if you weren't laying face first in the snow.
Kazuma adopts a creepy look on his face as Aqua's head pops out from beneath the snow.
(Y/N): Kazuma, your face... it's creepy.
Darkness: There it is!
(Y/N): Huh?
You guys look at a large snow cloud heading in your directions.
Kazuma: W-What is that?!
Aqua: I'll tell you why adventurers don't accept Snow Sprite kill quests.
Kazuma: Why?
Aqua: You guys lived in Japan, so I'm sure you've at least heard the name in the news and weather forecasts. He's the snow sprites' master and is also said to envoke the image of winter...
Kazuma nervously gulps while you wait in excitement and anticipation.
Aqua: Yes, the Winter Shogun has arrived!
The cloud of snow comes to an end and dissipates. A figure can be seen as the snow vanishes.
Darkness: Th-The Winter Shogun! One of the specifically designated monsters the country has put a huge bounty on!
(Y/N): He looks so cool!
Kazuma: Huh?!
Darkness: I'm sure that this monster plans to use his position as shogun to have his way with me. I'll resist him, but he will likely be beyond my capabilities, and I'll be shamed...
Kazuma: Stupid! Everything in this good-for-nothing world, the people, the food, and the monsters, are all absolutely stupid!
The Winter Shogun draws his blade and starts to slide on the snow to charge at Darkness. He slashes and cuts Darkness's blade to the hilt.
Darkness: M-My sword!
The Winter Shogun stares at Darkness as Aqua says something about the Snow Sprites, but you are more focused on the Winter Shogun. Aqua then stands up and grabs her jar of Snow Sprites.
Aqua: Guys! The Winter Shogun is generous. If we politely apologize, he'll overlook this!
Aqua releases the Snow Sprites and they float up into the air. The Winter Shogun looks towards the Sprites then looks towards us as his eyes glow blue. Aqua then bows before the Shogun.
Aqua: Prostrate yourself! Prostrate yourself before him! Come on everyone! Throw down your weapons and bow before him! Apologize! You two have to apologize as well!
You and Darkness remain standing in the face of the Winter Shogun.
Kazuma: Hey, hurry and bow you your heads you two!
Darkness: There may be nobody watching, but a knight such as myself would never bow her head to a monster.
(Y/N): I refuse to bow my head before anyone and that isn't going to change now!
Kazuma then grabs both your heads and forces both of you down.
Kazuma: Don't show off your sense of pride now!
(Y/N): Get the hell off me, Kazuma!
Darkness: S-Stop it! You're forcing me to bow my head when I don't want to, and shoving my face into the ground!
Kazuma: Huh?
Using Darkness's "moment" as a distraction you break free from his grasp and stand up.
(Y/N): You're lucky I don't Master Spark you!
Aqua: Kazuma! (Y/N)! Your weapons, your weapons! Hurry and throw your weapons on the floor!
You both look at your weapons before the Winter Shogun slashes the both of you. You began to fall as one thought goes through your head.
(Y/N): *thoughts* This is Kazuma's fault. He's getting a Master Spark.
You are back in the empty world with Kazuma as you sit there glaring at him. He starts to sweat nervously as he looks at you.
Kazuma: N-Now (Y/N), I know you're angry...
(Y/N): Oh Kazuma. Angry doesn't even begin to describe how I feel right now!
???: Let's calm down now (Y/N).
The voice catches your attention as you turn to see goddess Eris
Eris: Welcome to the afterlife you two. Kazuma, I an Eris, the goddess who will lead you down a new path. *smiles* And it's nice to see you again (Y/N). Sadly, both of your lives in this world is now over.
(Y/N): I had a feeling, but now what Eris?
Eris: Well, I can reincarnate both of you to a peaceful life in Japan, to a well-off family.
Eris answer has Kazuma jumping for joy as he asks a list of questions on what she is able to do. You, on the other hand, were disappointed that your adventure was coming to an end.
(Y/N): I better not be reincarnated as Kazuma's brother.
Kazuma: Hey! There's nothing wrong with that and is this a reward for trying my hardest, right? Because my life up till now has been so awful!
Eris: Yes. I looked in on your lives from time to time myself. I believe your days were filled with adversity. While (Y/N)'s life seemed to be filled with happy moments.
Kazuma: You said it! I reincarnated thinking I'd get to go on a thrilling adventure, like in a game. This is like a misleading promo video, isn't it?
Kazuma then goes on a rant about the party and what has happened to you guys, while you noticed that at the end of it he was starting to cry.
(Y/N): Kazuma...
Kazuma: Huh? Why?
Eris: After you've reborn, may you be blessed with kind encounters.
Eris's hand starts to illuminate a golden light as you and Kazuma look to her. As she is focusing you began to think to yourself.
(Y/N): So... this is it huh? I was having a lot of fun as well. Girls... I'm sorry, but it looks like big brother won't be coming back... Koishi... sorry, but we won't be able to see each other again... And it looks like I won't be able to continue to adventure with you three as well. I wonder what will happen to Shanghai and Hourai. I'm sorry you two.
Aqua: Now you two, return to us.
Aqua's voice breaks both of you out of you're thoughts.
(Y/N) & Kazuma: Huh?
Aqua: How could you two be killed off so easily?! It's too soon for you guys to die!
Kazuma: Wh-What?!
(Y/N): I didn't expect this...
Eris: Th-This voice... Aqua?! *surprised* Is that really you?!
(Y/N): Huh... that's a really cute expression Eris.
Eris: *blushing* H-Huh?! Oh, why t-thank you.
Aqua: Hey you two! I cast recovery magic on your bodies so that you can come back to this side now.
Kazuma: Oh! For real?!
Eris: P-Please wait a moment! You've been reborn once already, so according to the laws of Heaven, you can't be revived again!
Kazuma: Is that true?
(Y/N): Aqua! She says that according to the laws of Heaven, we can't be revived since we've already been revived before!
Aqua: Huh? What goddess is spouting that nonsense? Hey you! Identify yourself! Where does a goddess in charge of a backwater like this get off talking to me, an elite in charge of Japan, that way?!
(Y/N): *notices that Eris is twitching* Hey, Eris? Are you ok? *no response* Um, hey Aqua, it's Eris...
Aqua: Eris?! The overrated Eris who's grown cocky and even became a unit of currency, just because she's worshiped a little in the established religion of this world?
(Y/N): That was harsh Aqua.
Aqua: Hey, if Eris gives you any more trouble, I'll confiscate her breast pads-
Eris: I-I understand!
Kazuma: Pads?
(Y/N): Now is not the time Kazuma!
Eris: An exception! I'll deem this an exception! I'll open the gate right now! My goodness, Aqua is as unreasonable as ever.
A magic circle forms underneath Kazuma and you.
Eris: You have been connected to the living world. This normally never happens, you know. Now (Y/N).
(Y/N): Yes, Eris?
Eris: This is our little secret right? *winks*
(Y/N): *smiles* Right. I'll remember to keep Kazuma quite as well.
The gate then lifted you and Kazuma into the air and sucked you two through a portal. Everything went dark and when you opened your eyes you saw Megumin, Darkness, Aqua, and the Dolls looking at you. You noticed that your head was on Megumin's lap, while Kazuma's was on Aqua's. Upon seeing that you are awake, the Dolls immediately flew towards you and laid on your chest.
Aqua: Oh, you're finally awake? Sheesh, that girl is hot headed.
Darkness: You guy's I'm glad you're okay!
Darkness then tackled the two of you into a hug as you two laid there. A blush began to form on your face as you felt Megumin's hand on your head.
Megumin: I can't have you dying yet we are supposed to become the strongest Magicians in the land.
Aqua: Hey, I revived both of you! Don't you have something to say? Huh?
Kazuma: Goddess change!
Aqua: *moving around a lot* Fine then you damn NEET! How about I send you back to Eris then?!
Aqua goes to punch Kazuma as he screams, but she is blocked by Darkness.
Darkness: N-Now, now, let's just calm down.
Megumin: How do you two feel? Do you feel strang in any way?
Kazuma: I feel fine now.
(Y/N): Yeah, nothing wrong here.
Megumin: You are? You two were killed in such a terrible way, after all...
(Y/N): Oh? How did we die?
Aqua: Kazuma was beheaded by the Winter Shogun, while (Y/N) was cut in the throat and bleed out. It was done in one splendid slice.
Kazuma: B-Beheaded?!
(Y/N): I bleed out?!
You guys look over and see a line of blood that signifies Kazuma's death and close by is a large pool of blood that was your death. You noticed that the same snow storm is coming back.
Kazuma: Okay, retreat.
Kill the Snow Sprites!- Retired
As you and Kazuma were washing away today's work you leaned over and told him something.
(Y/N): You're still going to get a Master Spark Kazuma. Don't think I have forgotten.
Kazuma: Huh?! C-Come on (Y/N), it was an accident!
(Y/N): Doesn't matter and remember, not a word of use dying to the children, Got it?!
Kazuma: Got it!
You two head to the table with the others as Aqua pulls out a jar with a Snow Sprite in it.
Aqua: Ta-da!
Megumin: A Snow Sprite?
Aqua: I didn't only prostrate myself. I pretended to set them all free, but I saved just one. I guess even the Winter Shogun couldn't see through my convincing performance!
Kazuma: Way to go, Aqua! All right, hand it over and I'll kill it.
Aqua: What?! No! I'm going to take this one home and make it a refrigerator!
Kazuma: The reward for killing those is 100,000 each!
Aqua: *falls on the floor to protect jar* No! Not this one! I've already given it a name! I won't let you kill it! Don't! Don't!
(Y/N): *sigh* Just leave it be.
Kazuma: Fine.
Aqua: I'll raise you with care, and when summer comes, I'll have it make lots of ice. Then we'll open a snow cone shop! We'll sleep together on hot restless nights. Hey, what does this little one eat?
(Y/N): Ice? Snow?
Megumin: Do Snow Spirtes eat anything, to begin with?
Darkness: They look so soft and fluffy. I bet if you put some sugar on it and took a bite, it'd actually be really tasty.
(Y/N): I'm with Darkness on this one. Shanghai! Hourai! Can you two get some sugar, please? Oh, and a hot chocolate if you could.
Megumin: Can I have one as well?
(Y/N): Sure, why not. Take two more dolls with you two.
The two Dolls nod, summon two more dolls and flew off to get the desired items. Aqua clutches the jar closer to her.
Aqua: I-I won't let you eat it!
Megumin: Actually, I've worked up an appetite.
Aqua: Let's order something. *grabs menu* I wondered what I should choose.
Shanghai and Hourai return with your's and Megumin's hot chocolate as the food arrives. You noticed that Kazuma seemed to be distracted.
(Y/N): Hey, Kazuma. Food is here.
Kazuma: Huh? Hey, how much did you guys order?!
Megumin: Once you become a great magician like me or (Y/N), you require great sacrifices in order to function.
Kazuma: That money was supposed to last us through the winter!
Darkness: What's the problem?
Kazuma: What?!
Darkness: If we run out of money, we can just accept another quest. What sort of monster would be good next? Maybe one that secrets a lot of slime or one with repulsive tentacles? Just imagining it makes me quiver with excitement!
After everyone finished eating you made your way to the orphanage to check up on the girls. As soon you as you touched the door it flew opened and Remilia tackled you in a hug. You could hear her crying into your stomach as she held you close. You wrapped your arms around her as she began to speak.
Remilia: Big Brother!
(Y/N): Remilia? What's wrong?
Remilia: *sobbing* I-I-I h-had a-
(Y/N): *Tightens hold on her* Shh. it's okay Remy, I'm here, okay. Slow down and tell me what happened.
Remilia: I-I had a nightmare. You and your friends were out in the Snowy Plains and while you fighting, some monster showed up and killed both you and your friend.
(Y/N): *thoughts* She dreamt it? *speaking* Well, Remy, it's okay. See, I'm right here and still alive. So let's get you inside before you get sick ok?
Remilia nodded as you lifted her up and walked inside. As you walked inside you came across Ms. Karen who smiled at you and Remilia, who had fallen asleep at this point.
Karen: You know, you mean a great deal to them. I've never seen Remilia attached to someone this much that wasn't Flandre.
(Y/N): It's nothing, I'll always be here for them. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to put her to sleep.
Ms. Karen nodded her head and you took Remilia to her room and placed her in bed., but before you could go she latched on to your arm.
Remilia: *asleep* Please don't leave us, Big Brother... We need you...
Deciding to stay you pull up a chair and held her hand as she had a small smile on her face. Eventually, sleep came and claimed you as your exhausting day came to an end.