Mike: Ugh... why did I take this job?
Ariel: Because you're an idiot, perhaps?
Mike: What do you want?
Ariel: Nothin' just wanted to see you be annoyed by everyone else.
Mike: Hey, I don't know... maybe giving me a raise?
Ariel: -_-
Ariel: Mike, you know I can't afford that.
Mike: Ariel! You have the money! Just give me more than 100 dollars per week!
Ariel: No!
Chica: If you want more money, just quit.
Ariel: Chica!
Chica: What?
Mike: Good idea... but I can't.
Chica: What?!
Ariel: Huh, I was actually surprised by that response. Why can't you just quit? You have a sucky pay, sucky job, you almost die every night, what's so great about this place that makes you want to stay?
Purple Guy: The children!!
Ariel: STAY OUT OF THIS PURPLE GUY! THIS ISN'T EVEN YOUR SHIFT!
Purple Guy: Fine...
Mike: Ignoring that... I stayed here because I love this chair.
Ariel: -_-
Ariel: Seriously Mike? A chair?
Mike: It's comfy!
Ariel: *headbutts wall*
Ariel: Mike! A. Chair?! A chair is the reason why you stayed in this godforsaken place?
Funtime Freddy: I like it here!
Ariel: Yea, because you aren't the ones getting killed!
Chica: You aren't either.
Ariel: Because I have a relationship with you.
Funtime Freddy: You mean your shovel.
Ariel: Don't get me started.
Mike: You know, if you wanted me to quit then just say so. I'll be more than happy to leave.
Ariel: Nonononono! I need you here!
Mike: You can hire someone else.
Ariel: No, Purple Guy gave this place a bad reputation.
Purple Guy [from far away]: You're welcome!
Ariel: I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT!
Mike: What about Amber?
Ariel: No, I'm not doing that to her.
Mike: Why not? This could be her side-job! And everyone here loves her!
Ariel: No! She already has a job!
Mike: What? That dead-end comic business?
Ariel: It's not a dead-end business! Its working really well!
Mike: Fine. But still, you could hire her.
Ariel: I said, no!
Mike: Then what about Jeremy?
Ariel: Whom?
Mike: My friend Jeremy Fitzgerald.
Ariel: Why do you want him to work here?
Mike: I hate him.
Ariel: I thought he was your friend.
Mike: Was.
Ariel: Do I want to ask what happened between you two?
Mike: No.
Ariel: Fine. I guess I could give you a raise.
Mike: Really?
Ariel: Don't get cocky, I said could.
-2 weeks later-
Ariel: Hey Mike!
Mike [annoyed]: What now?
Ariel: Someone's salty.
Mike: What do you want?
Ariel: To give you a gift for all of your hard work!
Mike: What? Really?
Ariel: Yup, here's your new co-worker.
Jeremy: Hi Mike!
Ariel: Well, I'll let you two get reacquainted.
Mike: I hate you more than words can express.
Ariel: I know. Oh, and I have your paycheck.
Mike: What?! Only half? What am I gonna do with 50 dollars?!
Ariel: You find a way.
Mike: Oh, it is on.
Jeremy: Uh.... what's on?
Mike [mumbles]: Idiot.