When I got home from HES I did something I had never done before — I got drunk, all by myself. The bottle of tequila sitting in the kitchen cabinet resembled an old friend, one who I was in desperate need of. After downing three shots within thirty seconds, I had to take a couple of deep breaths as to not throw up. Not having bothered to slice up a lemon, the strong taste burned my tongue even more than usual.
Pouring a fourth shot, I picked it up with a shaking hand and tossed it back. Finally my body started to feel a bit warmer and relaxed. Trying to smile a little, I realised it was impossible. I couldn't even force a fake smile to my lips.
Walking over to the docking speakers on unstable legs, I tried to put my phone in place with sloppy hands. I definitely needed to drink more often because feeling smashed after four shots of tequila couldn't be normal. Randomly choosing a playlist, music suddenly blared through the speakers and I bobbed my head up and down. Some boys sang about being ready to run, to escape from the city and follow the sun.
Maybe that's what I needed to do. Rent out the house and just leave. I'd been toying with the idea before, letting it play out in my mind, but never considered it too seriously. If I were to leave, I didn't have first clue to where I should go.
I could go to university in London. Or even move to America. No, not America. I would always associate that country with Harry and living there would be a constant reminder. Perhaps Australia, it seemed nice enough. They had sunny weather and beaches.
With these thoughts circling, I spent the rest of the night dancing around in my living room with the bottle of tequila in my hand. It was many hours past midnight when I finally passed out on the sofa, not noticing the bottle slipping from my grip only to shatter on the floor.
A dull, persistent ache woke me from my restless slumber. I had a hard time to recall what I was up to before going to bed but I could tell it wasn't anything good. I started to stretch out across the sofa but had to stop when the headache increased.
Then I remembered.
Tequila. Dancing. Thoughts about leaving. Harry being involved with drugs. Adam lying.
Letting out a soft groan, I slowly sat up. Doing shots had felt like a mighty grand idea the night before and I completely neglected the fact that I had work in the morning. I checked my phone, disappointed when seeing there were no messages at all. I had one hour to get ready and get to work. With a yawn I stood from the sofa and let out a hiss when something cut through my foot, pain shooting up my leg.
"Shit," I muttered, noticing the glass scattered across the floor.
I didn't have time to clean it up and forced myself into the shower with a bleeding foot, already knowing it was going to be a long day.
.
.
I quickly learnt that working with a hangover was one of the worst things you could put your head and body through. Sweat dotted my forehead and my sight was blurry — several times I had to sit down and breathe calmly through my nose.
Madeline snickered when she found me on the floor behind the counter. "Rough night, huh?"
"You could say that," I huffed and gulped down the glass of water sitting beside me.
"Well, I'm sorry to interrupt your nap but you need to get up and deal with the next customer. I have to go pee." She gave me an apologetic look and shrugged.
"Ugh, fine. Go ahead," I told her and stood up on shaky legs.
And almost sat down again when I saw Heather leaning casually against the counter, scanning the menu.
Not her, not today, please someone give me strength.
Wiping my forehead discreetly, I walked over to her and made a grimace that was supposed to look like a smile. "Hey, Heather. What can I get you?"
Her head snapped towards me, blonde locks bouncing and a frown crept across her face. "How the hell do you know my name?"
"Uh, I. . . Harry told me?"
"Did he now? Well, isn't that cute," she sneered. "Just get me a latte, with nonfat milk."
"Coming right up," I said, trying to sound polite. I didn't understand her attitude, what did I ever do to her? We had never even talked before.
I could feel her eyes on me the entire time as I prepared her coffee, fighting the urge to spit in it. Suddenly I wished I had put some makeup on this morning, or at least bothered to do something with my hair. I probably looked like a homeless person and she was prettier than I'd ever seen her.
Putting the cup down in front of her, I pressed the keys on the register and ignored her impatient sigh. "Four pounds fifty, please," I barked, not finding the strength to be polite anymore.
She cocked her right eyebrow and slapped a fiver on the counter. "You should really work on your social skills. No wonder people turn their backs on you. Keep the change," she said and picked up her coffee. As she strolled towards the door, I secretly wished for her to fall over in those ridiculously high heeled over knee boots she had on.
Her words left me stunned and I stood frozen in place until Madeline came back from the loo and put a hand on my shoulder. "You alright, babes?"
"Sure," I said and nodded slowly, having no desire to discuss my personal problems with her right now.
"Great, so did I tell you about my date with Cole?" she beamed.
Cole. His name gave me goosebumps and not the good kind. "No, I don't think you did," I answered and turned to face her.
She was so cute and had the biggest heart, I couldn't imagine her being with someone like him. He was a bad person, a hoodlum up to no good. But there was nothing I could do about it. Madeline and I weren't friends like that, I had no right to tell her to stay away from Cole. She probably wouldn't even listen if I did.
"Well, he picked me up, as you know," Madeline grinned. "Then we drove to the lake where he had prepared this romantic picnic with loads of wine and food. We spent all night there, watching the starts and talking."
I hadn't pinned him as the romantic type, but I guess looks can be deceiving. "And then?" I prompted.
"And then. . . nothing," she pouted. "He didn't even try to kiss me."
"Really?" I said baffled. "Um, that was awfully chivalrous of him?"
"Yes! It was weird though because he kept asking questions about you and some dude named Harry. I told him I had no idea who this Harry person was, but he told me you knew him?"
I gulped. "I know Harry, yes. What did he ask about me?" I didn't like this at all. Combined with the looks Cole had given me when he came to pick up Madeline, I had a bad feeling.
"Like how long I had known you, where you lived, what kind of relationship you had with Harry," she muttered. "To be honest, it kind of killed the mood."
"Yeah. . ." I nodded slowly. "Don't take it personally. I'm sure he's just curious since he's new around here," I said but had little faith in those words.
Madeline sighed and shot me a brief smile. "Yeah, probably. Anyway, I can tell you feel like crap so if you want to head home it's fine by me. You covered for me when I needed it."
"You sure? We're still pretty busy," I said hesitantly, not wanting to get her in trouble.
"I'm sure. Now go before I change my mind," she grinned and waved me off.
"Um, did you tell Cole where I lived?"
Madeline giggled. "No, I don't even know where you live, silly."
"Good, great," I mumbled and started to gather my things. I left after making sure she would be okay on her own and drove home with thoughts about Cole spinning in my mind. What did he want from me?
As I got inside my house, I picked out my phone to call Adam. I had to ask him about last night, there was no way I could let it slip.
He answered on the first ring. "Hi, babe."
"Hey. . . are you back yet?" I cringed as I asked the question because I knew he never left in the first place.
"Uh, yeah, I just drove into town. Want me to come by?"
"Please. I need to talk to you about something," I bit out and poured myself a glass of iced tea.
"Okay. . . be right there," he slowly said and hung up.
I grabbed a pillow from the sofa and pressed it hard against my face, letting out probably the loudest scream I'd even accomplished. I felt slightly better but now my throat was getting sore instead.
Adam arrived ten minutes later, stepping inside with a grin on his face. It faded as soon as he saw me standing by the counter with a scowl on my face. "Hey," he said as his eyes trailed over me. "You look. . . tired."
"Well, I am. And pissed off," I snapped.
His eyes widened in surprise, clearly not prepared for me to be in such a mood. "O-kay, what's up, Ella?"
"You tell me. Why did you lie to me about going out of town?" I didn't bother trying to be smooth about it this time, I needed answers and I needed them now.
"Why would I— What are you even talking about, I didn't lie," he said and walked over to me.
I crossed my arms over my chest and raised a doubtful eyebrow. "I saw you, Adam. So cut the crap. Who were you visiting?"
His lips parted slightly when the meaning behind my words registered. "You followed me?" he whispered angrily.
"Yes."
He rubbed both of his hands down his face and let his fingers rest against his mouth. Then he shook his head lightly. "I can't believe it."
"Neither can I. Care to explain why you told me you were on the highway to Birmingham when I saw you go inside a block of flats just outside town a minute before?" I held my ground, refusing to sound on the verge of tears.
Adam took a deep breath and held it in, before exhaling slowly. Then he sighed. "Oh, Ella. Why do you have to be so nosy? I was actually planning something for us."
I huffed. "Right. Because you're so good at planning stuff in secret. Remember the last time you wanted to surprise me? With that weekend in Paris, but blurted it out as soon as I questioned what you were doing on the computer? I have a feeling you're lying, Adam. And I'm not dropping this until I get the truth."
His cheekbones were splotched red with either embarrassment or anger, I couldn't tell. Coming to stand in front of me, he cupped my cheek. I flinched but remained in the same position. "Why would I lie? I love you, baby. And I've never done anything to make you doubt me. Why now?" he said softly, tracing his thumb across my lower lip.
This time, I drew back, not feeling anything near comfort. His hand dropped limply to his side and a sad expression crossed his face before he gathered himself. "Fine, you can mope all you want. I'm not taking it, because I've done nothing wrong. Call me when you get your head on straight," he scolded and stormed out of my house.
Letting go of a breath I'd been holding in, I slowly slid down the counter until my bum met the floor. Putting my head in my hands, I let my tears fall. I sat there and wept, going over the last couple of days in my mind.
Everything was a mess and I had no idea how to fix it. Harry had told me to leave and was probably angry with me. I had cheated on my boyfriend. Cole was being a creeper, making me feel unsettled. And now Adam had turned this whole thing with him acting dodgy around and made it my fault somehow.
Yet maybe he was right. Perhaps it was my fault.
When my face finally dried up, I stood and went to retrieve my phone. As I crossed the mirror in the hall, I stopped and stared at my reflection. My eyes were swollen, my face blotchy and red. I had never seen myself look so pathetic. I quickly averted my eyes and picked out the phone from my bag. If there was one person I at least could try to set things straight with, it was Harry.
Me: Hi.. I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have reacted like that. Or maybe i should, I don't know but I'm sorry, okay? I was just so shocked over what I heard Cole say and then realising you lied to me really hurt, Harry. But I kind of really need you right now so I'm reaching out a hand. Please x
Five very slow minutes went past and then my phone buzzed.
Harry: It's okay. I could never stay mad at you for long. Did something else happen besides whatever happened yesterday? (You still haven't told me what happened). I'm afraid I can't leave the club until very late tonight but how about I come by tomorrow morning? x
Me: Okay, that's fine. See you then. Night H.
Harry: Night baby x
His simple reply made a smile stretch across my face despite everything. He truly was, and had always been, the only one who could make me smile in the most stressful situations.
Having to spend the night alone wasn't overly appealing but I didn't have much of a choice. So I grabbed a book I'd been meaning to read for half a year and crawled into bed, falling asleep after two chapters.