The air was cool, cantaloupe-colored leaves drifting by with each step along the endless gravel road. Tall trees lined the path, shrouding the pair in serenity as their endless walk pursued. Not a word was spoken, perhaps in fear of breaking the unearthly tranquility swept over the two as they walked, their hands carelessly clasped together, fingers intertwined.
After weeks and weeks of relentless sadness, this new state of bliss truly overwhelmed James's battered heart. With each step, he felt lighter and lighter.
The path never twisted, never turned, it was all the same. Though James could care less, everything felt oddly perfect. This unrequited bliss failed to underly any ounce of confusion, familiarity only swelled in its place.
James sighed as his shorter partner rested his head on his shoulder, which only made the warm feeling inside of his heart grow. As Adam exhaled quietly, practically melting into James's arm, James closed his eyes, but when he opened them, all he saw was his bedroom ceiling.
Oh god, not again.
It's been happening for a straight week, dreams of pure bliss, an escape to the cold pit that James's heart had rendered itself to. And each morning he'd have to rethink everything he's ever said or done after realizing who he was dreaming about.
Now, it was frustrating in the oddest way. On one side these dreams were wonderful vacations that he wished lasted forever, but the other side couldn't help but fret over why Adam provided it.
James stumbled down his stairs as he wondered if his dreams were trying to tell him something, but the moment this prospect crossed his mind his thoughts scattered in all directions, everything becoming nonsensical.
Confused, and growingly more anxious, James reached into his fridge to retrieve the milk.
Wow, FrootLoops, great cereal.
Gotta love it and all its cereal-ness.
Especially the red ones...
No, not the red ones!
This is bad.
Why is it bad?
What's happening?
"Ah!" James stepped back, the milk he'd been pouring into his cereal bowl had completely overflowed, spreading all over the counter. Where had his mind gone? How did all of this even start?
Oh right,
that stupid look he gave him.
Surely he meant nothing by it,
James was just being stupid.
Yeah, stupid James,
thinking Adam might be interested in you.
Haha, yep.
Why is all this overthinking happening?
James just misunderstood him,
yeah, total misunderstanding on his part.
What if he was?-
No, he isn't.
Shut up.
No.
Huh?
Why is there milk everywhere?
Because you spilled it, dummy.
Oh yeah.
As he washed away all the spilled milk off the counter and cupboards, his thoughts refused to concede.
He couldn't even take a bite of the cereal he'd prepared, it all was so distracting.
James put his head in his hands with a groan, dragging his fingers through his dirty blonde hair. His thoughts had been reduced to confusing squiggles and shapes, why was he overreacting like this? Nothing made sense anymore.
Nothing makes sense.
Nothing makes sense.
Why is everything so-
Ding!
"Oh!"
Speak of the devil, it was Adam with a simple, "Hey."
"Hey."
What does that mean?
What tone?
What mood is he setting?
That's the exact same question just asked differently...
Shut up and reply!
No words are being spoken! All of this is thoughts! It's impossible to shut up!
REPLY!
"Hi!"
what
the
heck.
"Hi!"? What were you thinking?
What's with the exclamation mark?!
This is scary!
It's only scary because you're making it scary!
Heh, isn't that funny?
Can't even say a simple hello without freaking out, it would be so bad if he asked if he could-
"Hey, can I come over? I'm super bored."
Oh no.
"Yeah, totally! You can come now if you want."
ohhhh noooo
"Why am I even freaking out? There's nothing to fear, nothing, nothing! What am I doing? Does he know? Did I sound too enthusiastic? Does he think I'm weird? Am I weird? I don't know, I'm scared!"
James breathed heavily as a small rat calmly climbed onto his shoulder, chuffing.
"Yeah, you're right Peach. Nothing is going on, why am I even getting so worked up? Everything is okay, I don't even like him. I like Jaiden, but, you know where that's gone..."
He sighed, Peach said nothing, only carefully sniffing James's hair. Suddenly, a knock from the front door startled him, "Oh jeez! There he is! Thanks, Peach, you're a great listener!" he hastily put his rat back in her cage, rushing down to the front door to greet Adam.
"Hey!" James smiled, letting Adam in.
"You seem happy." Adam remarked.
"Oh yeah, I guess I am." He shrunk a little, his dream had gotten him so swept up he'd almost completely forgotten about what's been happening for two months now.
"I'm glad you're starting to get over her, I've been really seeing progress." Adam grinned.
"Right, her..." James scratched the back of his neck, the memory of Jaiden quickly putting a damper on his mood.
Hastily, he snapped back, "So, what do you wanna do?" He asked, clasping his hands together.
"Wanna take a walk or something?" Adam suggested slowly.
"Sounds good!"
"So, how are things?" James asked, attempting to break the awkward silence as the two circled the neighborhood. His dream had consistently been crossing into reality, occasionally whenever he'd take a few steps he'd find himself on the gravel path, Adam sleepily resting on his shoulder. Though in a matter of moments his friend's warm touch would be gone, and everything felt a little cold.
"They've been okay," Adam replied after what felt like an eternity, "how about you actually? You seem displaced." He asked, concern edging his tone.
"Oh-me? No! I'm fine! Everything is fine! I'm just..." James trailed off, his misplaced thoughts all ran cold. He stopped walking, briefly running his fingers through his hair as he held his breath, exhaling as his fingers completely ran through.
With a steady, relaxed tone, he spoke again, "I'm sorry, I've just been a little messed up lately. I've been having these dreams..."
"Oh yeah? What dreams?" Adam blinked, intrigued.
James's blood ran cold as he stuttered, "It's nothing, they're just about-you know-Jaiden..."
"James."
"Yeah?"
"Wanna tell me what you were actually dreaming about?"
"No, not really."
"Alright." Adam shrugged, though confusion and intrigue remained on his face.
His confusingly attractive face.
James smiled to himself, now he understood what was happening.
He suddenly dreamt of him, freaked out over him, and found his face to be confusingly attractive all because of a look he gave him a week ago.
Of course!
He was going mad!