Getting Over It (TheOdd1sOut x SomethingElseYT)

Chapter 7

"You said all that?" Jaiden sat in her armchair, dumbfounded.

"I didn't mean to!" James paced around her living room, his mind racing in all directions. How could he be so stupid? At this point, he might as well take cover under a rock and never come out again.

"Woah." Disbelief still overcame the brunette's tone, "I don't think there's any recovery from that."

James groaned, putting his hands on his heads, "I know! What do I do now?"

"Well I think now is as good as any to tell him." Jaiden suggested.

James stopped pacing, staring at her, "I can't do that...I don't even really know if I like him. What if he hates me for it? What if everything goes wrong? What if our friendship falls apart? I can't do that! He'll surely ditch me, we'll never be able to talk again, he'll..." James trailed off, his head spinning. Excuses tumbled out even faster than he expected, not even giving them much thought beforehand.

Though just as quickly as they came, they abruptly stopped. He stood in the middle of Jaiden's living room, silent.  All the same anxieties always flooded James's mind when he was contemplating telling Jaiden herself how he really felt. He slowly sat down, what if everything happens all over again?

"James? Are you okay?" Jaiden piped up cautiously.

"No." James replied.

His friend slowly got up from her chair, moving to the couch to sit next to him. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"It's me." James answered, staring blankly at the floor. 

"What do you mean?"

James paused, contemplating his next words.

"A long time ago, I met someone that I soon realized I'd fallen head over heels for. I always admired them from a distance, never daring to voice how I felt about them.
So many times when we were together, all I'd want to do is blurt out how I felt about them. It got so--so hard to contain.
And then, one day, when I really thought that it was time to tell them, I'd spent all day convincing myself and assuring myself that it'll work out, only to find that it was too late." James crossed his arms, gripping them tightly.
"I had years to do it, and yet, not a single word was spoken.
Jaiden, I don't want that to happen again." He turned to the small brunette, her deep brown eyes glowed with sympathy.

She gently set a delicate hand on one of James's, "Then don't let it, tell him." she spoke quietly and coolly.

"Easier said than done." James sighed.

"I know it is, but if you spend all your time looking at fish and imagining what they taste like you'll only go hungry."  Jaiden assured him.

"What's with everyone and fish analogies..." James mumbled, but her words still sunk deep into the back of his mind.

He'd made the mistake of giving up someone so wonderful, why should he do it all over again? No, that isn't how James is going to live.

"But..." he began, "You're right. I have to do this." James stood up, Jaiden following suit.

"I messed up once, and I'm not gonna do it again! Sorry Jaiden, but I gotta go tell him!" James bounded to the front door.

"James, it's like four in the morning." Jaiden protested.

"Still going! Before I lose this burst of confidence!" James called as he shut the door behind him, sprinting across the neighborhood. 

Jaiden's house was quiet, but James knew she was awake. An unspeakable force brought him to the front step, ordering him to reach out to knock. Fueled by determination, he clenched his fist and went to do so.

Though centimeters away from the door, his fist abruptly halted. James's entire body froze in place, all he could do was stare.

My god, what are you doing?

You're at her house, at midnight, about to pour out your feelings. Are you praying for rejection?

What's wrong with you?

She doesn't even like you back, she could never like you back.

She's way too good for you.

You're you.

No one could ever like you.

You're only destroying your friendship with him.

He'll hate you.

You ruined everything with your dumb feelings.

Why do you always ruin everything?

Slowly, James unclenched his fist, lowering his arm to his side.

All he did was stare at Adam's front door, he felt no desire to move just yet. The cold reality that he'd probably never feel the same had truly begun to set in.

A few minutes drug on to a whole hour of completely motionless contemplation until James finally broke it.

He turned, slowly walking away from Adam's house. As he stepped off his property, James felt the soft vibration of his phone. Upon further inspection, he found that it was none other than Jaiden.

"So, how did it go? Did you tell him?"

"No."