"It's 640 yen," Tsumugu spoke up behind Hikari while he paid for our tickets.
It surprised me that we all still met up even after parting ways to go on our own ventures. But then again, we were all going to the main city so it shouldn't have been a surprise...
"Tsumugu? Wait- Aoi?" Hikari eyed me suspiciously, his actions proof that he probably didn't know that I was out on a date with Tsumugu.
"So that's what the boys who act cool wear these days," I joked lightly, hoping to veer the topic off on having to explain to him why we were together.
Hikari bit the bait quite easily, his cheeks turning red from embarrassment when I pointed out his ridiculous outfit. "I'm not acting cool! I didn't bring enough clothes with me when I left so- why am I even explaining this to you?!" He accused before panicking when the final ring of the train station's bell echoed.
"Ah hurry up, Hii-kun!" Manaka's voice could be heard from the railings.
"If we miss this train then we'll end up waiting for another hour, Hikari."
"Shut up, Kaname! Don't just stand there, help me out here!"
I couldn't help but laugh at the banter between the two of them. Whether it was out of relief, I didn't know. After all, this was our silent agreement. Even though Tsumugu knew the answer- to still let him have this chance even if it will be the last...
Why is it that the world is such an unfair place for those who deserve happiness?
--*--
"Eh, so that's how it it." I nodded when Hikari explained to me the reason for their trip to the city.
It also explained the reason for the cold maelstrom I saw the other day. It's amazing how strong they were to survive that. Both he and Akari-san had overcome such an experience with their sights on the future still unwavering. Is that why father could easily do the same? Because he knew that that was where he needed to go?
To leave behind their father... Did Hikari or Akari-san feel any guilt in doing it? The situation isn't as similar and I couldn't use it to understand my father's departure any better either.
"So why are you both here anyways? You're even dressed up, Aoi. It's like you're both going on a-," Hikari stopped his words when the realization dawned on him, the atmosphere growing awkward when everyone realized what he had meant to say.
'Like going on a date.'
"We're going to the city to hang out. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with that?" Tsumugu swooped in, surprising us both at his choice of words.
It confused me. One moment, he was adamant to sway me and then the next he's outright lying to Hikari of the true motive of this outing. Why? Just when I was so sure that I finally understood him, he once again finds a way to elude me from seeing through his motives.
"Then you won't mind if you both came along with us, right?" Hikari wasn't one to lose when he suggested that we could come along. For someone who's always spontaneous with his actions, Hikari could be shrewd when he felt like it.
But, unfortunately for Hikari, Tsumugu wasn't one to step down either. "Sure. I don't mind, right, Aoi?"
"Eh? Um... Sure. Let's all hangout!" I smiled rather quickly in agreement when Tsumugu suddenly asked for my approval. Hikari still didn't look convinced but he didn't pry anymore either. Keeping a close eye on us, is he worried about what Manaka thought of all of this?
She didn't look bothered in the least. Well, concerning Tsumugu but about me-
She definitely looks like she wants to have a word with me. It must be confusing her, especially since we just discussed this a few days ago. I did tell her that I would try to tell Tsumugu my answer so she obviously didn't expect me to suddenly be going out on a date with him all of a sudden. In fact, only Chisaki and Kaname knew of this earlier so they weren't as surprised as Hikari and Manaka.
Still, Chisaki's furtive glances at me spoke well enough. It's obvious that I would have a long discussion with the two of them in the near future.
--*--
It was my first time in the city without my mother and Takashi.
The city was as suffocating as always, lots of cars honking their horns at the traffic and people milling the area like ants. It looked bigger to my eyes without my mother next to me. She always had been a source of comfort whenever we went somewhere new so, without her, the city felt more imposing than it usually did.
"Luckily, they have stations you can soak in in case you dry up." Tsumugu gestures with his glance to the buildings with logos of a whale on them, 'offering free saltwater' and the like written on them.
"So, Tsumugu," Hikari started, obviously doing his best to keep Tsumugu occupied to even approach me. "Where do you think is the best place to look for a gift we can get for my sister?"
"The largest mall here is a few walks away. We can try there." Tsumugu then turned to me. "I also hear that they have a good ice cream parlor there. Don't you think we should try it?"
"U-Um... Sure, we could try it." I stuttered to say, surprised at the sudden attention Tsumugu threw my way. I tried my best to ignore Hikari's suspicious glances as we all silently walked to the mall Tsumugu had indicated.
"Aoi, wait." Tsumugu's voice made me pause before I felt his hands over my shoulder. I flinched at the contact, wondering what he wanted before he gestured me to move aside as he took my place on the edge of the sidewalk.
I kept reminding myself that Tsumugu is a kind person amidst is aloof-looking persona. What he had done was obviously something he would've done to any other female friend he had. I didn't want to get his hopes up, because I care as his friend and he deserved better. That's why I did my best to hide the blush creeping up before muttering a quick 'thanks' as we both walked side-by-side.
I could feel Chisaki and Manaka's eyes boring deep into me as we continued to make our way to the mall, my fingers fidgeting nervously at the uncomfortable attention.
'It's not what it looks like!' I thought loudly, hoping by some miracle that I could transmit to them these words.
If they doubted me, then it would only make me question myself and I didn't want that. It would be playing right into what Tsumugu wants and that would only serve to hurt him more.
I don't deserve him as anything more than a friend.
--*--
The moment we arrived at the mall, I had assumed that Tsumugu would finally tell them that it was about time for us to split off and head on over to our own outing. He looked to be about to do so too but, suspiciously, Hikari had stopped him- telling him that they still needed us to help find the floor that Tsumugu spoke off.
Whether Tsumugu was irked with Hikari because of this, I didn't know. He was completely fine with it (if his nonchalant expression was anything to go by) and I was quite glad that he didn't voice out his complaint.
Truth be told, I doubt I'd be able to keep up with this awkward tension between us.
Making our way to the first few stalls to look for a gift Miuna could give to Akari-san, it was Kaname who had taken Tsumugu's place when Hikari's plan to separate Tsumugu and I had worked.
I was busy perusing a few displays when his shadow loomed over to my side- that usual half-smile of his reflected from the glass we were both looking at.
"It seems that Hikari's hogging Tsumugu all to himself, Aoi. If this goes on then there won't be any time left for just the two of you." He meant it as a harmless jab at Hikari's suspicious behavior and yet I can't help but feel dejected at his words.
Not an ounce of wariness in them, as if he was cheering me on that the date would go well. While it's true that I don't want to ruin the day for Tsumugu, I only meant to do so in the hopes that whatever came out of it wouldn't ruin our friendship.
I'm getting too hopeful... It's not like those cliché shoujo mangas, after all. Kaname had long since confided to me about his feelings for Chisaki so he obviously shouldn't be feeling jealous of the date Tsumugu and I were having.
That's why he'd be more concerned with Hikari hogging all of Tsumugu's attention- for all the right reasons at that too. I should've seen it. Just like me, Kaname's also finally trying his best to get his feelings across to Chisaki. So for Hikari to be forcing Tsumugu away from me means that somewhere deep inside, Hikari's finally given up on Manaka.
If only Hikari knew the truth.
Manaka just hasn't realized that her feelings towards Hikari were beyond the feelings of 'merely friends' (As she would probably defend if I pointed it out to her). If Hikari's plan worked then Kaname's plans to admit his feelings to Chisaki would fall apart and just like Hikari, he'd give up on Chisaki too even if deep down he didn't want to.
It would obviously be in my favor yet the heartache that came with it... I didn't want that. Before that happens- I want to at least confess to him. I want to let him know even if my feelings would not be returned. Maybe, if I did so, then everything would finally be alright...
That's why I couldn't let Hikari get away with it. I can't afford to be a coward now- Tsumugu had to know.
Before my own time runs out, I have to tell Kaname.