I love the feeling of being in Darren's arms. The only thing that feels similar was being with my best friends. Being around people who know me better than anyone else, especially now that my family life was more dysfunctional than ever. My friends and Darren are becoming my rock.
"You know we're eventually going to have to get up, right? Darren said with a raspy voice.
"Shhh." I stroked his chest and closed my eyes.
"Darling, as much as I love laying here in silence I think we should talk a bit. Your parents could come home any minute now."
"I don't wanna talk," I whined, stuffing my face into the crook of his neck.
He giggled, "Hey, come on. Don't start acting all moody and closed up like me."
"You've gotten better about that." I winked.
"Thanks to you. Now the roles are reversed. What are you going to say to your parents?"
"I was thinking about winging it."
"The science genius wants to wing it? Doesn't sound like the Arabella I know.
"I'm not a genius...yet," I smirked.
"You're too cute, which is why I'll drop it for now."
"Thank you," I sighed. "I really appreciate you, Darren. You care about me so much."
"Says the girl who traveled the united states just to find me."
"And I'd do it a hundred times over again." I looked up at his gleaming eyes that looked at me in a way that can only be described as pure love.
❧
-5 Hours later-
"I'm scared." My voice shook as I was getting ready to confront my parents with Jamie by my side.
"You deserve to know. We both do." She whispered into my ear. We walked down the stairs to see my parents sitting on the couch in the living room watching the local news.
"Hey, I need to talk to y'all. It's serious." I said firmly.
"What now, Arabella? Don't tell me you want a new car or something."
"No. I know about my dad. My real dad. And I want some answers."
My parents looked at each other in shock and became as pale as ghosts. I wasn't planning on holding back from getting the truth.
"How...do you know about this?" My mom said quietly.
"I accidentally saw some messages. I also now about Fay, the secret sister I have."
"Honey, I know this is a lot for you. I know you must hate me right now but-"
"Just explain," I said firmly. "No lies, no excuses."
"Alright. Your...father was a businessman. He worked and worked, day and night. Your sister, Fay, isn't mine. He had her a few years before we got together. If she were mine, I couldn't bear the thought of leaving her."
"But dad could leave me," I said with pain.
"It wasn't that simple. Your father wasn't the best at being a father. He was never home. He cared more about his career than us. I did what I thought was best, and when I met Dad, the man who you should consider your father because he raised you, I knew you'd be in a loving home with two parents. I planned on telling you but the years just went by so fast and I was afraid."
"That doesn't mean you didn't lie to me for 18 years. I knew there was a reason you had something against me. I wasn't your precious real daughter like Jamie." I lashed out at my dad.
"Arabella, now please calm down. I've always loved you as if you were my own. I did everything I thought was best for you."
"I had to practically beg you to go to college! You seriously think you've been a good father?"
Jamie was watching us all intently with fear in her eyes. I could tell she wanted to add in but didn't know what to say. She'd seen him emotionally abuse me for years, and neither of us knew why he was always so angry at me.
"You will not stand here and disrespect me like this!" My father stood up and shouted.
"You've never wanted what's best for me. You could've told me the truth all these years; both of you could've!"
"You're just like your father; relentless, stubborn, and too big of a mouth! You're not my freaking kid. My kid wouldn't treat me this way. I didn't raise you to act like this. You're 18 for God sake. Grow up! Go meet him, you two would love each other!" The man yelled at me. I could no longer look at this person and see my father. Tears began to well up in my eyes. I had to get out of here. Getting my keys would take up too much time, so I ran out the back door and sprinted fast to get to the fence that led to the forest.
"Arabella!" Darren screamed after me. I stopped when I got to the other side of the fence and waited for him.
"My cabin, let's go. They won't find us there." He said before running into the forest. We reached the door and he unlocked it. He shut the door behind us and immediately engulfed me in his arms. I sobbed not holding in a single tear. It was the kind of crying that you couldn't stop or control no matter how hard you tried.
"I was listening from the top of the stairs. I heard every word. He's a f*cking asshole." Darren said with anger.
"I can't-I don't understand how someone could be so awful."
"Parents are the worst sometimes."
"I'm so sorry. I forget you don't have any relationship with yours."
"Don't compare our situations. They both suck. Period. Want some hot chocolate? I'm sure I still have some."
"Yes please." I smiled as I wiped away some tears. I sat on the sofa and snuggled up with a blanket. This cabin already made me feel a bit better. It was small, safe, and reminded me of old times. When I'm in this cabin, it's Darren and me against the world.
He began preparing the hot chocolate. "You know this won't last forever. I'm sure your mom feels awful about the whole thing, but if I were you I'd get in contact with your real dad as soon as possible."
"I am. Man, this is insane isn't it?"
"Life is unpredictable. I stopped trying to predict it a long time ago. Like being with an intelligent, beautiful girl who understands me unlike anyone else? Hah, try to tell my past self that. He'd laugh in your face."
"Darren," I looked over my shoulder and smiled at him. "I'm lucky to have you."
"As am I to have you. Here's your cup of hot cocoa madam."
"Why thank you!"
"Hot cocoa makes everything a little better. That's what my mom used to say to me when I was little."
"She did?"
"Yeah, you know, when I'd get scraped up from playing outside or something."
I didn't say anything. I just sipped my cocoa. I didn't want to overstep any subject that was too sensitive for him to talk about. He looked lost and thought. After a minute, he spoke again.
"It wasn't all bad, my childhood. It was full of holiday traditions, laughter, playing with my siblings. But...the sicker I got, the more they pushed me away."
"It's not fair," I said softly. "None of it."
"I'm okay though. That's what matters. You will be too."
"I believe you."
"Good. One of us should." He laughed. This made me laugh too. I knew that despite his uplifting words, he was still feeling the pain from his childhood and trying to remind himself that he was okay. I notice that frequently with people with broken hearts. They try to mend others in hopes of mending themselves as well. My phone vibrated in my pocket to a text from Jamie.
Jamie: r u alrite?
Me: Yes, I'm with darren.
Jamie: I'm so srry about what just happened
Me: it's not your fault jame
Jamie: it wasn't ok
Me: we'll figure it out later... just trying to calm down
Jamie: dad is still going off, i don't want to be here
Me: If you want to leave right now Daniela or Avery will pick you up if you called them. They always have our back
Jamie: I might just do that..
Me: love you sis
"Poor Jamie. She's going through this with me and I just left her at the house."
"Want me to go get her?"
"As selfish as this seems, I don't want her knowing about this place. She's the kind of teenager that would throw a party first opportunity she had. Don't worry though I told her to call Daniela or Avery. I don't think any of her friends can drive yet."
"She'll be okay. She's strong. We had a talk last night and it was really nice...she's a cool girl."
"Wait- what? Jamie and you had a talk?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yeah, she really opened up. I guess she feels like she can trust me."
"Wow. That's rare. Like REALLY rare."
"Well, she did admit that she was hesitant about me at first." He laughed.
"There it is, that's the Jamie I know and love. I'm glad she likes you though. You're probably an older brother figure that she could really use right now."
"I'm honored." He smiled. "I'm going to go make myself some hot cocoa."
As I was sitting there, I began thinking about my dad and long lost sister. I thought about what their life looks like, what they do, how their relationship was; everything. What if they really wanted to meet me? I know I want to meet them. Despite the insanity, there was an excitement about the whole situation. It's not every day you find out you have a family you don't know about. Going to California was inevitable, so I might be closer to becoming apart of their life than I realize if things go well. However, I don't want my hopes to get too high. Scientifically speaking there's always a chance something could go horribly wrong. My sister might want nothing to do with me. She might already know about me and simply not care. I was clueless.
"Have you ever thought about reaching out to your parents?" I asked without thinking too much. Darren sat beside me and furrowed his brows.
"I don't know if I want to. There's so much pain there. I don't know if it can ever be fixed...not this soon at least. If they wanted to find me, they would've by now. That's how I see it."
"You're right, you're right. I'm sorry for asking."
"Don't be sorry. You don't have to be afraid of going too far. I want to go there with you, Arabella. I want to let you in. I'm not scared of you anymore. I want you to have...all of me."
I noticed he was much closer to me than before, our lips were centimeters away. There was a feeling between us that was electric that wasn't exactly there before. It was static. "What do you mean exactly when you say all-" he cut me off by kissing me passionately.
"I love you." He said before pressing his lips to my neck.
"I-I love you too," I said trying to catch my breath. Things were moving pretty fast. He stopped himself and looked directly into my eyes.
"Are you ready for this? We can stop, we can wait. Whatever you want."
"Would this be your first time?" I asked. He nodded. We'd be in this together, which gave me a peace of mind and my insecurities seemed less relevant.
Butterflies danced in my stomach. I already knew the answer. This was going to happen. Suddenly all my nerves vanished and was replaced with confidence. "Yes. I'm ready. I wouldn't want this any other way with anyone else."
His lips curved into the sweetest smile and he began kissing me again with his soft lips.
You can guess what happened from there.
One of the worst days of my life turned into one of the best due to Darren, the beautiful boy who trusted me as much as I trusted him.
A/N: WHOAAHHH IT HAPPENED. sorry for those who wanted more details, tried to keep this PG for the younger readers I may have. I'm so sorry I've taken so long to update! I began working and it's been taking up a lot of my time, and honestly, I forgot where I was in this book and had to re-read and remember what path I wanted this to take. I've also been thinking about making another public Spotify playlist for you guys, so if y'all have any songs you think fits this book or any moment in particular, comment below!
Also, who elses life is just plain messy right now? I'm relating to Arabella so much. Know you're not alone if your struggling in your life!