I want to trust her again. I just don't quite know how. I haven't exactly been kind over the past few months.
It hasn't been long enough, I want to wait a little more. I don't want to rush into anything over the next four years.
There are still other things to come into consideration, but this feels like a good start.
I don't trust her, at least not in full because I've felt like she was scheming against me. Which probably wasn't true. I'm afraid of getting hurt again, and that's terrifying on it's own.
I should give her the benefit of the doubt and trust that she has other things that are more important than plotting against me.
I know that she still most likely doesn't want to talk and that's okay, neither do I.
But sometime, someday, we will meet face to face, and we will need to talk it all out. It's unavoidable.
I don't want to keep talking over text. If we talkagain it needs to be in person, as hard and awkward as that may be.
I'm scared to talk in person. But I think it would be best. No more screens. No more waiting for a response.
The only issue is when. I know it will happen, and I may or may not be ready. And I do want to trust her. But I also want to wait. We both need a bit more time and that's okay.