Ch.7- Growth
"The door's locked again."
"I can fucking see that, genius."
Kaminari turned and gave Bakugou a frustrated look, only to drop it the moment Bakugou actually made eye contact with him. Those burning crimson irises sure as hell worked as a good means to get someone to shut up when Bakugou decided to look at someone.
"Maybe she's running late today?" Midoriya spoke hopefully, knowing that the event from yesterday proved that even the support class got tied up with work from time to time.
"I didn't see her around school today, not even at lunch." Shinsou mumbled, having seen you walking around with Hatsume for the past couple days since you suddenly became important to him and the others.
The group was quiet for a moment, trying to decide what the next best course of action would be. You had struck a chord with all of them yesterday, your words of time running out being the most recent addition on their minds now.
The soft distant patter of footsteps made all six turn in an attempt to see if their friend- no you were not exactly that... peer was much more suited when describing their relationship with you- was descending down the hallway.
"She's not here today, you all might as well go home."
The figure of another female support class student spoke, walking towards the boys, though her real attention was on the small figurine in her grasp, the screwdriver turning speedily.
"Hatsume-san." Midoriya spoke, seeing his former teammate suddenly take up a presence. "What are you doing here?"
Hatsume sighed, finally glancing up at those around her. She pursed her lips, a thin line of pink and her gold eyes casting off once again. She placed the screwdriver in her uniform pocket and held the little robot down by her side.
"She hasn't left her bedroom since yesterday: no talking, no eating, no concern for anything. I don't know what the heck happened... but I have a feeling it has to do with all of you."
"She's that upset...?" Todoroki mumbled, knowing full well the reason behind your sudden spur of longing and loss.
"Listen." Hatsume firmed her voice, a tone that none of the boys had heard from her.
Hatsume always spoke in an excited, animated and slightly chaotic tone, her own brilliant mind making her act somewhat like a mad scientist when she really got into her world. But at this current moment, she just seemed serious and void of all humor and fun that she had been known to give off with her words.
"(Name) doesn't talk much, so I have no idea what has made her so upset, but if I find out that one of you is the cause of this... or had anything to do with it, then good luck getting any help from the department of support for the remainder of your time at UA."
"Hatsume-san, we don-"
"I don't care if you know or not... but you have to realize that not everyone is a hero course student- so you can't assume we feel as righteous as you guys do. Sometimes... we just want to forget about our lives in a room full of machines.
And for (Name)... taking that away from her is basically taking away her positive mental health and self-care. She's been nice enough to let you involve her thus far, but you have to give her her space.
She's more fragile than she lets on... trust me."
Hatsume lifted her dark stained hand, casually tossing it from one side to the other as she walked away. The sounds of her light steps making her warning seem less like a threat and more of a plea from a mother.
"So what now?" Kaminari mumbled, once Hatsume was out of sight.
"More like what the hell was she talking about?" Bakugou sterned, grabbing his bag and getting ready to depart. "This was a waste of time again..."
"Todoroki." Kirishima turned to the only member of their group who had spoken up during Hatsume's small speech. "Did something happen yesterday? With (Name)?"
The half-and-half student nodded, his lips curling into a pitiful frown. It was almost rare for him to show off this look of sadness and regret like he had shown so often during the first few months of their first year.
"There's something I didn't mention after I got back last night... as I thought it was private. But seeing as it might be affecting our plan, I suppose it might be best if I shared."
~~~~~
"And where are we (Name)-chan?"
"The beach! The beach!"
The buzzing of the screen placed so lazily on the small kotatsu, the season not matching when they were supposed to be used. Placed next to it was a half-empty bottle of some flavored water, below a scattered number of empty bottles of the same flavor.
The figure had their head on the table, eyes glued to the screen, face unmoving and never breaking from the images of a woman carrying a smaller child through a sunny beachside town. The man behind the camera chuckling happily as the child pointed eagerly at a dog that had appeared down the beach, chasing the waves.
The room was dark, and the kotatsu was warm. There was still another 2 dozen liters of mixed berry flavored water under the bed, supposed to be used for an emergency, but now long ditched. It was as if this was the relapse of someone's life as the home movie continued to play on the computer screen.
A soft knocking came from the door, the only sound aside from the child now excitedly running her feet throughout the cold saltwater and her mother laughing at her squeals. The knocking was quickly replaced by the sounds of someone's muffled voice through the door.
"Hey (Name), I hope you're feeling better. I brought you the work you missed today. Class was totally boring without you! And... I didn't have anyone to sit with at lunch, so that was kinda embarrassing."
Hatsume rambled on, hoping to talk your ear off until your familiar irritated voice came back through and told her she was bothering you and to stop trying to act so friendly. In fact, she didn't even care if you told her that you two weren't friends.. She usually hated that, but right now... it would be a welcomed remark compared to this unsettling and almost crushing silence and muffled sounds of something you were watching: the same something from this morning she was sure of.
"Anyway, I'm gonna watch a bad horror movie in my room if you want to join me! It's finally the weekend, so we can watch a bunch of them and make fun of the dumb characters too! You're always so good at picking out who the killer is too! I have no idea how you do it, but it's always kinda impressive!
So I'm right next door if you need me. Either knock or call or text me! I'd love to see you."
She softly slipped the folder of missed work under the door and waited another minute to hear if you had even gotten up to retrieve the work she had made sure to get for you, and she even took good notes today too! She never took notes because she always remembered everything and never needed to write anything down! B-but you needed someone to help you, and since she was the only person who-
She bit her cheek when nothing changed and retreated to her room. She didn't know what was wrong, but it must be bad for you to not even get up to collect your school work.
But you must have needed your space, so she'd give it to you for now.
~~~~~
Someone was knocking on your door again. And it was much louder and more obnoxious this time than it had been last night. You pulled the comforter over your face and attempted to fall back asleep against the kotatsu. It wasn't the most comfortable sleep you've ever had, but you really didn't feel the urge to move.
Then again, you hadn't moved at all since two days ago, only getting up to go to the bathroom a few times. You just didn't have any motivation aside from watching some old home movies your 'adoptive' father had filmed from years ago, wanting to see a version of you that seemed completely happy living a lie.
However, even as you tried to close your eyes again, the knocking persisted... and strangely enough, was coming from the opposite side of the room your door was. In fact, it seemed like this knocking was coming from-
You turned your head suddenly and looked out your window, seeing a red-haired boy standing on your balcony. He dropped his hand and looked relieved to finally have seen you move.
Your eye twitched and you finally got up and strode to the sliding glass door. Kirishima smiled awkwardly, only to have his face erased from your vision when you threw the curtain across the window.
"H-hey come on (Name)!" He called out.
"Go away, useless shark teeth."
"Can I at least go out through your room! You have no idea how hard it was to climb up here!"
As much as you wanted him to feel his own karma and have to go down the way he came, you also didn't want to be a possible accessory to murder if he really did trip and fall off to his death.
You gave in, pulling the curtains away and unlocking your sliding door. Kirishima slides the door open and stepped into your room. He seemed to take everything in: empty bottles of water, no lights, and your messy appearance.
"U-um thanks." He mumbled, shutting the sliding glass door once more.
He made no effort to move through, and instead watched as you strolled back over to your cocoon and started to bury yourself in the covers once more. The display was showing some little girl happily chasing some seagulls, the person behind the camera quickly having to chase after the child.
"Home movie?"
"Yeah, it's a beach trip I went on when I was three with my 'parents'." You mumbled back, watching as Kirishima took a seat on the bed behind you. "Why are you still here?"
"I was going to go to the botanical gardens... but I know nothing about plants. So I thought I'd invite you and let you make me feel dumb about how much you know."
Your ears perked up at the mention of plants and you blinked in excitement. You turned to face Kirishima, his red hues widening as he saw your face for the first time looking a bit nervous and unsure.
"You're serious?"
"Yeah. Thought you might enjoy them..."
He scratched the back of his head, the spikes done up with less gell today than he usually did, as it was the weekend, so he really didn't have it in him to put all the effort into his hair.
"I guess I could educate you a bit more on botany..." You rose to your feet. "Get out of my room and I'll meet you outside in 15 minutes."
Kirishima's face exploded into a smile, his feet quickly carrying him to the door and he was out before you reminded him twice.
"See you in a few minutes then!"
~~~~~
It was actually kind of amazing how much you knew about the plant life in the Tokyo botanical gardens. Kirishima would almost say he felt like he had taken a Saturday class by how much info you pumped into his small head.
Hell... plant reproduction was actually kind of interesting when you explained it to him. Though his favorite moment on this little impromptu trip would be how you both nearly got kicked out when you crossed a plastic tape line and approached a decaying tree.
The guards tried to tear you away, but in the end, you actually started lecturing them on why the tree was not dying but rather about to bloom for the first time in decades, and thus needed more nutrients to be given to it.
It was awfully amazing how much you, in fact, did know. Kirishima was never under the impression that you were stupid, but he assumed your intelligence would be a different kind of intelligence than the one he was seeing.
When he had first learned your department at UA was for support, he assumed you were just as machine smart as Hatsume, but now seeing you explain and point out interesting plant life to him made him come to a conclusion.
You were intelligent, yes, but you didn't know these things because you had to. You knew then because you loved and enjoyed the thirst for knowledge and answers. Quite different from him, as he only learned information to pass his classes.
"And the reason why you sometimes see plants growing over so many different places is that some seed pods can be carried long distances! By animals, humans, rivers, weather, cars, anything! As long as the seed attaches itself and then eventually finds a good place to grow, you'll see it in strange places!
Like the flowers that started sprouting up on the UA campus this year! That was because the ones I grew last year produced seed pods, that were carried from the roof by the wind and landed out among campus and as such started growing in around campus! Amazing, right?!"
Kirishima couldn't help but let out a chuckle or two at how proud you were to have increased the number of blooming plants at UA. Though, he would admit the plants did add a touch of color and life to the usually dull campus surroundings.
"What?" Your eyes narrowed, your mood quickly dying down to what it had been previously: cold, distant, a bit hard to deal with.
"Nothing, I've just never heard someone talk so excitedly about the math behind where plants grow."
His words were a bit of a lie. He really did think your fascination with the plants around here was admirable, but in truth seeing you so happy and entertained by the simplest things reminded him of the small girl on the screen from this morning.
The younger you was so happy to see the gulls at the beach and spend time with those she cared about. Maybe it was the gleam of childhood, but the way you acted and talked so excitedly right now, made him think that the wonder of nature and the world around you hadn't entirely faded as of yet.
He was more curious though if this was your true personality peeking through the wall you built up. It was hard to tell... but something told him there was much more to your personality then he, Hatsume, or even your parents knew.
And what that could be really made him even more curious about you.
You rolled your eyes and continued to walk next to him along the bridge over the entrance to the pond. A few koi fish quickly swam away from you two, obviously startled by the people suddenly crossing over them and blocking the sun.
You both came to the cherry blossom grove, the most beautiful part of the gardens, but seeing so many of these flowers as of late didn't really make you want to wade through more pink petals. So instead you opted to go towards the pond and see what there was to do.
Kirishima followed your lead, as he had done since you both got here. The weather was warm and sunny and he had no issues doing whatever you wished to do. This was your small getaway trip from everything after all. He was only here to make sure it went off smoothly... though he did like watching the koi fish, he'd admit.
You walked away from the gardens, instead deciding to take a momentary rest by a pond. Near the edge of the pond were dispensers full of feed for the waterfowl, only asking for a single yen coin in exchange.
You fished through your pockets, finding two coins matching the instructions and fed them into the machine. Once exchanged, your hand filled with feed and you started sprinkling the food into the water.
Kirishima watched as suddenly lots of ducks began to swim and even fly over to get some of the food. He took a seat on the small case of stairs behind you and watched you interact with all the ducks.
You didn't let them eat out of your hand, but did allow the birds to get close enough to you for some coos of praise to escape from your lips.
"I've never seen so many ducks before. And they're all different colors too." He mumbled, only to catch you glimpsing at him.
"Lesser-Whistling." You pointed to one. This particular duck had light features: a mix of gold, yellow and brown feathers as well as a black beak.
"Do you know the kinds they are?!" He asked excitedly as you pointed to three more different colored ducks.
"Philippine, spot-billed and ring-neck."
"Oh wow! You do know the kinds!"
You nodded, giving some extra feed to a couple ducklings that had appeared with their mother in front of you. The small babies happily lapped up a mix of the pond water and feed, a well balanced meal for their growing feathers. They quacked softly as their mother swam in front of them to gather them up and then lead them back to their home.
"I was studying aquatic plants and happened to also learn a lot about the aquatic fowl native to Japan. Everything's kind of connected, so you learn one thing and suddenly you want to learn about it all."
"Well, you certainly showed me that you know a ton about plants and now ducks too. It's really impressive."
"No. It's nothing really. Not like I discovered any of it, just some knowledge stuck in my brain. Don't give me credit I don't deserve, Larch."
"Larch?" He asked, watching as the feed was quickly becoming scarce as your hands drizzled the food along the water.
"I find it easier to give people nicknames of flowers because I can't always remember names." You answered what you assumed his question to be.
"Isn't larch a type of tree though?"
"It's a flowering tree, so it'll bloom. The flowers are kinda like you: spiky, looks hard to the touch, but very vibrant and warm. The only difference being larch flowers tend to be pink and you're red."
"If I don't redye my hair, then we'll match a bit more. It turns pink when it's not touched up after all... plus my roots are dark... so that's another problem." He chuckled, gazing out at the pond as well. He had gone off on a bit of a tangent on his own, remembering the original question he meant to bring up with you when this discussion began. "I thought you didn't remember names cause you didn't care."
"Hmm." Your locks beat against your face as you disagreed with his statement. He had been nice enough today, so might as well spill one secret, what harm could it do? "I know I've said that before... but truthfully, I have really bad memory problems."
It was silent a moment: Kirishima trying to decide if he should press a bit further, and you seemingly finally at peace watching the waterfowl float away as your free meal to them was gone.
"S-so if I'm larch... do the other guys have flowers associated with them as well?" He asked, deciding now wasn't the time to pry.
From what Todoroki had told him, you had been faced with some life-changing news and this whole situation might be overly stressing you out. Maybe that was why he decided to take you out to the gardens with him. He knew how stress and feelings could weigh down on him, and while your case was dramatically different, he knew doing something you enjoyed might relieve a small fraction of it.
"I do. Hatsume is amaryllis." You paused, trying to match the name with the face. "T-todoroki?"
"If you're talking about my classmate who's split right down the middle, then you got it."
"Yes him! I see him as cardinal! A-and the one with green hair is gentian. And the purple haired one is lagerstroemia. And Pikachu is cassia, finally, the angry one is hepatica!"
Kirishima laughed at how giddy you got talking about flowers. Your passion for it was definitely there, a bit shyly, but still burning brightly. It was rather admirable about you and he couldn't help but sit down on the grass next to you, leaning back on his hands and further getting into the conversation.
"What made you like gardening anyway?"
You froze suddenly, smiling wiping off your face. You pushed your legs up and rested your chin on them, letting out a long-held breath. Kirishima waited, feeling once again nervous and worried he had done something he shouldn't have.
"I-I don't know."
He blinked, watching as your hand furiously wiped away at your eyes, despite there not being any tears or the looks of you starting to cry. Maybe your eye had an itch? Or a nervous twitch? He couldn't know for sure.
"I just know I like it.. I like it a lot. How ridiculous, right?"
"I don't think so."
You glanced at him, pout on your lips and eyes peering into his own, seeming to place a lot of hope and comfort on him. He could feel, no, he was wrapped in your own nerves and the current state of crisis on who exactly you were. With so many holes in your memory, it started making so much sense to him on why you were so guarded.
How could you trust anyone if you didn't trust yourself?
"What do you mean? I'm sure you have a reason for the stuff you do. Every hero has a reason why they became one. No one who aspires to be a hero suddenly just wakes up and decides to be one!"
Your usual cold and devoid tone returned, eyes burning hatred at the ground in front of you. How you hated this power: this quirk literally took everything from you. Whether it was your own life to rewind time or your trust in reality if it was a dream. And no matter if it was one of another, both would steal your own memories too.
Maybe it was the exchange for such a power? To go back meant to forget the other experiences slowly, while also leaving a part of yourself behind. And if that was true, how many tries did you have left before you started forgetting things like your own name? You had forgotten so many important things already that it wouldn't surprise you.
"It's true that every hero has a reason for being one... but it doesn't mean everyone is one hundred percent sure of everything they do. I sure as heck don't..."
You pulled away from your pity party, quietly listening to Kirishima. He scooted a bit closer to you, his arm wrapping around you and tugging you into his side. His hand rested on your shoulder while you rested against his warm torso. He pushed your head down onto his own shoulder and gently squeezed his hand on you in an effort to reaffirm you.
He hugged much different then Todoroki did. Todoroki's hug was firm and protective, his arms holding you like not only yours, but his life depended on it. Kirishima's was much different, he held you almost uncertainty. His arm wrapped around you comfortably, while also not overwhelmingly. He left you an opening to escape, and if you didn't, the hug was still nice enough to remain in.
"I want to be a man... I sure as hell don't know what it means, as everyone sees manliness as something different. To me, I guess it's just doing whatever the right thing is, and 'cause I like it. You don't always need some deep reason for your actions or for the things you like, and I'm sure that's how you feel, don't cha?"
Your eyes widened, pools of (eye color) lighting up at his words. How obvious! How could you have missed such an easy answer! Maybe it was because you had been in such a funk, but by God no longer! It was time to accept things and go back to how things were! Just because you were adopted didn't mean your parents were any less of a parent.
Yes, your biological parents had abandoned you, for whatever reason was their own. But despite it, all your real parents had taken you in simply because they fell in love with the child that needed them. Why would you need any more than that? They loved you because you were their kid.
Your life had not been a lie with them but rather had a much different beginning than most childhoods started out as. And there didn't need to be any other reason for it!
"Maybe I should try seeing things from your point of view, Kirishima-kun." Your lips curled into a soft smile, eyes glancing up at him. "Cause I've let my own foolishness to blind me from how I have been cared for. I was never abandoned, I was given to someone who actually wanted me."
"U-um yeah..." Kirishima blinked, not sure where this came from, he had thought you were talking about your love of gardening... but now it seemed to be something else?
Before he could say any more of the matter, he was suddenly wrapped in a tight hug. His cherry hues widened suddenly, his own arms held firmly on his sides and his breathing momentarily stopping. He wasn't sure exactly if he was correct, but he was fairly certain you had suddenly decided to embrace him.
His mind raced but then cooled when you pulled away and hopped up on your feet. You glanced down at the redder than usual teen and quickly flashed him one more soft and shy smile.
"I've got to go, thanks for the pick me up."
"U-Uh yeah. No problem.. Wait! Where are you going?"
"Back home! I have some stuff I want to test out! I'll see you at club on Monday-"
You paused, quickly looking at him and then hardening your face. "-don't think this changes anything though. You were helpful in getting me out of my terrible episode, but now I've got work to do, parents to call and a hypothesis to test out!"
"O-oh alright..." Kirishima was utterly confused, not sure what you were saying or if it involved him whatsoever.
You nodded one last time to him as you dashed off back to where the entrance to the gardens was. Though, despite the fact that you had told him that this little encounter changed nothing... it was completely different for the boy sitting on the grass.
Kirishima lightly touched his face, feeling the heat build up as the last five minutes played on repeat in his head. He shook his head to try to rid these thoughts away, but no matter how hard he shook his head, they remained.
"Oh God..." He mumbled to himself, hand covering his mouth as he spoke.
The pounding in his chest confirmed it, as did the swirling new emotions making their home in his head and heart. He collapsed onto his back and glanced at the clear skies above him. How could this happen just like that? It was so quick... but so irreversible.
It didn't matter now though- as he was totally and completely enamored by you.