Chapter Twenty-One
Audrey lost herself completely the instant Ance's lips touched hers. It was heat, it was passion, it was more than any other kiss she had ever experienced had been before.
It seemed that the instant he kissed her, Ance was inside her, filling her body with more want and need than Audrey could have ever imagined existed. Ance's lips were possessive and demanding. His thick body was braced above her and she was trapped inside the steel trap of his muscular forearms--perfectly cocooned in his warmth and protection.
His name left Audrey's kiss swollen lips on a moan and Ance deepened the kiss. His tongue thrust inside her mouth and Audrey matched the passion, causing their tongues to dance together in a fight for dominance.
Ance's lower body thrust against hers and Audrey could feel the evidence of what this kiss was doing to him pressed tight against her. She threw her arms around his neck wantonly and buried her fingers in his thick brown hair pulling a bit when he removed his lips from her and began to lick and nip at her neck.
One of Ance's arm snaked downward and his hand brushed against her thigh through the gingham fabric of her split skirt. Audrey stiffened and shuddered as new waves of pleasure washed over her.
She'd been far too long without the touch of a man.
A low growl rumbled deep in Ance's chest and Audrey felt it against her throat as he continued to taste every last inch of her skin.
"I want you, Audrey," Ance's deep voice was low and gruff as he put his lips close to her ear. "I want to touch, to taste, every inch of your damnable body."
Audrey nearly swallowed her tongue! Never had a man spoke to her in such a way! Alexander, though she had loved him with all her heart, probably would have turned beet red and been too embarrassed to kiss her for a month if she'd spoken that way to him....
Audrey bit her lip, wondering if she liked the way Ance spoke....
When he nipped at her ear and growled his displeasure at her sudden unresponsiveness, Audrey decided she did as she pushed her hips up against his, tugged at his hair and brought his mouth back to hers.
Thunder rumbled in the distance but Audrey barely heard it over the pounding of her heart. Ance's fingers grazed against that juncture between her thighs and even through her clothes, Audrey felt the heat from the contact. She nearly jumped from her skin and she let out a squeak of shock.
Ance chuckled. "How long has it been, Audrey? How long since a man touched you the way you needed to be touched?"
Audrey swallowed hard, willing herself to calm the hell down before her heart failed completely. "F..five years..." she managed to gasp. Ance's beard was rough against her heated cheeks as he once again began to nibble his way down her neck, this time letting his tongue dance across her exposed collarbones.
Ance breathed against her skin and then pulled away just enough so he could look down into her eyes. His deep blue eyes were full of lust, awe and perhaps a bit of confusion as he studied her. "You're so different...." he whispered.
Audrey would rather have the dirty talk back but she supposed she could see where this new direction led since his calloused hand was still resting against her trembling womanhood. "D..different?" she whispered, wishing she could better hide the quaking in her voice. "Different how?"
"You're a real mother...a good woman..." With that Ance yanked away from her and stood up quickly, leaving Audrey lying there in the mud feeling overheated and under satisfied.
"What are you doing?" she demanded, rising up on her elbows.
Ance shoved his hand through his thick hair and walked up the hill a bit to scoop his hat up out of the mud. "You need to get back to camp, Audrey."
Audrey scurried to her feet, cursing the weakness in her legs. She was no better than a schoolgirl who'd received her first kiss! "And why is that?" she asked, feigning a calmness that she did not feel.
Ance didn't even look back at her as he fished a cigar and matches from his pocket. "Go back to camp, Audrey."
Audrey squared her shoulders and strode up the hill. She walked around him and turned to face him, daring him to turn away with nothing but a look.
Ance stared back down at her, his blue eyes a mask of indifference that Audrey could now tell was a fake wall. Something the man put up to keep the outside world at bay. She had seen those walls come down now and then over the last week and a half with Penelope and she had seen them come down just a moment ago with her... just before the man had leapt away from her as if she'd just admitted she was a leper.
"You don't get to do that, Ance," Audrey warned.
Ance grunted. "I get to do whatever the hell I want to do. That's the kind of man I am, Audrey."
Audrey rolled her eyes. "Don't start your 'I'm a big scary outlaw' routine with me! I know for a fact there's more to you than that."
"You don't know what you're talking about," Ance replied simply before putting his cigar between his lips and lighting it. "Now go back to camp."
"Or what? You'll shoot me?" Audrey grumbled. She put one hand on her hip and poked his broad chest with her finger. "You don't get to do this, Ance. You don't get to give me the most leg shaking, earth quaking kiss I've ever had and then turn yourself off and order me back to camp."
Ance raised a brow and something flashed in his eyes before he once again closed himself off and shrugged. "I'm doing what's right. Now get your ass back to camp."
"Don't tell me what to do," Audrey replied, sounding very much like an angry child and not caring in the least. She grabbed his arm when he turned to walk away and his predatory gaze landed on her as a growl rumbled in his chest.
"Don't touch me, Audrey."
"As I recall you rather like all the touching a moment ago," Audrey countered, feeling herself tremble as she did so.
Ance shook his head. "It can't happen."
"What can't?"
"Us... This..." Ance pointed back and forth between them. "All of this with you, me and Penny. It can't work and it won't last."
Audrey frowned and let her hand fall to her side. "And why not? You've made promises to my daughter that I expect you to uphold."
Ance nodded, "And I will.. But not this way. I ain't a family man, Audrey. This isn't me. Now dammit, leave me be. I'll get you all through this alive, get you home and have a role in that girl's life but you need to leave me be."
Audrey felt her heart burn from the sting of his rejection. "And why? Why do I need to leave you be?"
Ance let out a long breath. "I don't want to talk about it..."
"Well too damned bad, you're going to," Audrey replied stubbornly.
Ance just shook his head and chuckled. "You are the damndest woman I've ever met...." His eyes met hers a long moment before he looked away once more and let his cigar rest at the corner of his mouth. "I'm not cut out to be a family man. I don't know how to settle down and I don't have any interest in a marriage or a home or any of the things that a woman like you would want."
"I wasn't asking you to marry me, Ance. I was asking you to...."
Ance held up his hand. "I know what you wanted." He rested that big calloused hand on her cheek and Audrey hated herself for leaning into his touch when he was hurting her pride so badly. Ance let his gaze meet hers once more and she saw his sadness but also his sincerity as he spoke. "I won't take something from you that you've only ever given to your husband, Audrey. I... I don't deserve something like that."
Audrey's heart broke, not for herself, but for Ance. Did he think himself that unlovable? That incapable of loving? What had happened in his life to turn him so cold and sad inside?
Audrey reached out and let her fingers dance across his beard. Ance growled, yanked away from her and pointed up the hill. "Go back to camp, Audrey. Now."
"No," she stubbornly stood her ground.
Ance threw his hands up. "I'm warning you! You either get back there now or I'm going to throw you down right here in the mud and grass and I'm going to take you hard, fast, rough and without mercy for the pain I cause you. I'll leave you used up and broken and you'll hate yourself in the damn morning."
"So would you..." Audrey whispered--though she wasn't so sure. How much did she really know about Ance? Should she be arguing with him this way out her alone in the dark with all the arousal in the air.
"I can see the doubt in your eyes, Audrey, that's good. It means you aren't completely daft. Now get your ass back to camp." With that Ance strode away into the darkness and Audrey glared at his retreating form before storming back up the hill and rejoining her daughter by the campfire just as the rain began to fall once again.
Damn that damned man.......