I froze when I saw Dominic staring at me. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
"Ree," Kyle started.
"I have to go," I said, grabbed my sweatshirt and rushing past Dominic.
"Riannan, wait!" Dominic called out.
I ignored him as I ran with shaky legs out to my truck.
THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! I wanted to yell at myself. I could feel myself starting to hyperventilate.
I didn't say it. I didn't say it. Dominic never heard me. It never happened. It couldn't have. This was all just some insane, crazy dream, and I was going to wake up soon.
Unfortunately, I knew that it was a lie.
_________________
"I said stop!" I heard Riannan shout. "I love him, alright?! I'm so in love with him that just looking at him hurts me! Is that what you want to hear? That I don't feel like I deserve love?!"
I stood there in shock, all the emotions in my head going wild. Kyle and Richy shifted their gaze's to me, and Riannan turned around. Her eyes widened in fear and disbelief.
Come on, Dominic. Think of something to say that'll make her feel better. You're the man, you can do this.
"There wasn't any Dr. Pepper in the fridge," I said.
Yeah, WAY TO GO! You're the man? More like the idiot.
"Ree," Kyle started.
"I have to go," Riannan said, grabbing her sweatshirt. She whipped past me, not meeting my eyes.
"Riannan, wait!" I called.
I ran down the stairs after her, but she had a head start. The engine was running by the time I was opening the front door.
"Riannan!" I yelled.
But it was too late. She had already left me standing there.
"Dominic, chill out," Kyle said. "Come inside. We have to talk."
He put his hand on my shoulder, and lead me inside.
I couldn't believe this was happening. She still loved me! I had a feeling that she did, but she never let me close enough to be sure. What was I supposed to do? They don't teach you how to deal with these types of situations in history class.
"Okay, Richy and I kind of sort of came up with a plan a few nights ago to get you two back together," Kyle said.
I looked at him, confused.
"And now it's kind of time to bring you into the plan," Richy said.
____________
I drove down the road, trying to shake what I said from my mind.
I loved him. I loved him. I loved him. I loved him.
And now he knew.
I pulled into the turn lane and pulled a U-ey, chanting the same thing in my head: Max wouldn't want this.
I didn't know why I was going back, but I was. I could keep running away from all my fears. It would get me right back to the pathetic life I lived before.
I had to talk to him. I had to face this, even though I just wanted to run back home and hide under the covers. If I was just starting to before, I was now full-on in complete hyperventilation, inches away from hysterics. I was pushing myself too far.
I parked right in front of Kyle's house and wished that I could slap myself. I had to get ahold of myself, or I wouldn't be able to do this. Max wouldn't want me to run away.
Tears started to build up, but I fought them back with every ounce of strength I had in my very being. I wish I would just wake up already. I pulled down the mirror and stared myself in the eye.
"Come on, Ree! You can do this!" I nearly yelled. "Jeez, get ahold of yourself!"
I buried my hands in my face, and tried to sort out all of the mixture of emotions that were swirling inside of me. Anger, frustration, pain, longing, love, hope, determination. I couldn't keep track of them all.
This was so stressful.
____________
"See, look," Richy said.
We were leaning over the couch and pulled the curtains back to see Riannan's truck parked in front of the house.
"Called it," Kyle said.
"Now just go out there and get your girl," Richy said. "Stick to the plan, just like we said."
"How do you know that this will work?" I asked.
"Because it will," Kyle said.
"If not," Richy added. "We have a backup plan that we'd rather not resort to. But we will if necessary."
"What's that plan?" I had to ask.
"We'll talk to you about it later," Richy said.
"What if she didn't come back to talk to me?" I asked. "What if she forgot something and needed to get it?"
"She did forget something," Kyle said. "You!"
"Wow, cheesy much?" Richy said.
"Shut up, Rich," Kyle said. "You, too, Dominic. Go out there and follow the plan."
I groaned.
"Fine!"
"Good boy," Richy said.
"Shut up, Rich," Kyle said again.
I shoved myself away from the window and walked towards the door.
"Can't believe your're making me do this," I muttered to myself.
"Just do it!" Kyle and Richy shouted simultaniously.
"Fine!" I yelled back.
With my hand on the door knob, I took several deep breathes before twisting it and pulling it towards me.
I walked out into the cold weather and went to her truck, climbing into the passenger's seat.
Her face was in her hands and she was breathing heavily. When I closed the door, she jumped and smacked her head on the ceiling.
"Dominic," she whispered, looking at me.
"We have to talk," I said, gently.
"About what I said in there," she started.
"It's okay," I said. "It's really fine, I'm serious."
Her breathing was still going unhealthily fast, and her face was completely drained of color.
"No, it's not," she said. "It's really, really not."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because you're going to go to college, and get a degree, and get married. You'll raise a family, and have a fantastic life," she said. "I'll just be the story that you tell your kids. The mess of a girl that you dated whose brother died. That's it. That's all I am."
"Then what am I to you?" I asked, not even bothering to argue her last comment.
"You'll be the guy I dated in high school who had everything," she said.
"It's funny how you said 'had' and not 'has,'" I noted. "Because to have everything, you also have the girl that you love."
"Yeah, well, I'm sure you'll do fine finding someone," she said.
She had calmed down, thankfully. I wanted to reach out and take her hand. I wanted to tell her that it'd all work itself out. Unfortunately, Kyle and Richy's plan hadn't prepped me for this.
"What if I already have, and found the perfect girl?" I asked.
She flinched away and broke gaze for a second, composing herself.
"Lauren's lucky, then," she said.
"No, Lauren sucks," I said. "I'm not talking about her."
"We can't be together," she encouraged. "We're not right for each other. It wouldn't work out."
"So why not make the most of it now?" I asked.
"Because then it'll just be more pain and heartbreak later," she said. "And I want to take care of all pain right now."
"What if you get a scholarship?" I asked. I could see her hesitate. I had surprised her.
"I'm not right for you, Dominic," she said. "I'm a mess."
"And I'm not?"
"No. You're perfect. I'm all wrong for you," she said.
"What if I don't want you to be?"
"You're not the only one who gets a say in this."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"So are you the only one who get's a say in this? It's my life, too, you know."
She paused.
"No, it's your high school experience. Just because this part isn't so fantastic, doesn't mean that the rest of your life will suck," she said.
"Neither will yours."
"Lie. I KNOW that my life'll suck. I come from the wrong side of the tracks, Dominic. Stay on your side," she said.
"So that's it, huh? You just give up on trying to get a good life?"
"I'm not giving up. But even if I fight twice as hard as I am now, my life'll still suck."
"You know that's what's always going to hold you back, Ree," I said. "I hate to sound like a high school guidance couselor, but if ou want to, you can do anything."
"Really? Because last time I tried flying, I ended up with a twisted ankle and Kyle's dad had to drive me to the hospital," she said.
We sat in silence for the longest of time. Suddenly her expression turned soft.
"We sound like..."
"My parents," I finished. "I don't want to end up like them, Ree."
"So maybe it's just best that we end this," she said.
"No," I said. "That's our problem. You're trying to end it, and I can't let that happen."
"Why?" she asked.
"Because I don't give up on things. I like a challenge, and that's all this is. A challenge," I said.
"We're not going to end up together, Dominic," she said. "Give up."
"That's like telling the sun to stop being hot," I said. "It's just not gonna happen."
"Why is that?"
_______________
He was completely and totally ruining me. All the progress I had made was out the window.
"Why is that?" I asked.
He didn't answer.
"Dominic, I can't be with you," I said. "We're not right for each other, and you deserve way better."
He looked at me, shaking his head.
"You shouldn't have to settle for me!" I said. "Dominic, you're ruining everything. We're not supposed to be with each other. We don't have a chance."
"I beg to differ," he said.
I waited for him to say something else.
"Ree, you're perfect," he said.
I laughed out loud, but it was bitter and cynical.
"Far from it," I said, knowing that it was the truth.
"Really?" he asked.
"Max died," I said. "Because of me."
"How the-" he didn't even finish his sentence.
"I looked it up. The statistics show that children whose mother drink while pregnant have a higher risk to get cancer."
"And you believe everything you read online," he stated.
"I never said it was online."
"Was it?"
I pursed my lips and turned away.
"Ree, there's no way that you could have stopped it," he said.
"Now it's my turn to beg to differ."
"It's cancer, not the flu," he said. "It doesn't get prevented just like that."
"It's still my fault," I said.
He reached out for my hand, but I drew it back and looked down.
"Ree, look at me," he said. When I refused, he spoke again. "Jeez, Riannan. You're gonna be the death of me."
"That won't be the first person I killed," I muttered.
"Ree, you did nothing wrong," he said.
"There's something wrong with me," I said, stifling the tears. It still cracked my voice.
"There's nothing wrong with you," he said. "You're perfect."
He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled my to him. My legs were strewn across his lap and his hand cupped my face.
"I love you," he said.
Dominic pressed his lips to mine, and I remembered what it was like to feel loved again.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
okay, miracle in the flippin works here, people. i actualy got it done, even tho its short.
wow. im gonna go pass out now and get some needed sleep.
XxXsnikasluvaXxX
P.S. yes, jacob did distract me, so u have full rights to yell at him