•••
Sometimes I wish everything would stop
That you would just sit there
Holding me in your arms like we were young again
•••
I was about half way back to the Gryffindor Common room when I realized I didn't live there anymore, that I live in a compartment with Harry, Ginny, Draco, Pansy, and Blaise on the third floor.
I huffed as I dug into my heels and made my way back to the compartment.
It had been a long day of lessons and assignments, which I didn't mind. I find myself liking work more and more now. It keeps my mind busy, keeps it from wandering too far.
I make it to the painting of the little girl and she smiles, bouncing up from the seat painted for her, "Hello, Hermione!"
I smiled back at her, "Hello-" I frowned, I didn't know her name, "What is your name?"
Her face lit up, excited to introduce herself.
"I'm Lily," she grinned, spinning.
My breath caught in my throat, "Of course it is." I breathed.
"Well, Hello, Lily," I said.
"What's the password?" she asked.
"Unity."
She grinned and waved goodbye as her portrait swung open.
I walked in and groaned.
Three of the four couches were taken. Draco was stretched out on the one next to the fireplace, staring at the ceiling in thought, Pansy was angrily scratching something down on parchment with a book open next to her and Blaise stretched out on the one next to hers, peeking over her shoulder and copying off her work.
Not my problem, I decided.
At my groan, Draco's attention shifted to me, "Nice to see you too."
I shot him a look as I dropped my bag onto the unoccupied couch, "Are Harry and Ginny here?"
Draco shrugged, "Red's looking for you upstairs and Potter's somewhere probably doing something stupid."
I rolled my eyes at him and I slung my bag back over my shoulder, "Probably because he's been spending so much time with you." I mumble as I make my way up the stairs.
Behind my I hear a feminine laugh and an angry voice yelling at them to "Shut Up!"
I grinned as I threw my door open, looking around for Ginny. When I didn't see her, I threw my bag on my bed and yelled, "Ginevra!"
"How many bloody times do I have to tell you not to call me that?" a muffled voice yelled.
I smirked, "Where are you?"
She laughed, "Snooping!"
I rolled my eyes and walked out of my bedroom and into Draco's.
"What're you doing in here?" I asked, rolling my eyes.
She shrugged as she went through his closet, "Just seeing how much better your rooms are than mine. Also checking that your boyfriend's not a slob like my brother."
I froze, "He's not my boyfriend, Ginny."
She looked at me, her cheeks slightly pink, "Right, sorry."
"You can have mine instead if you want, it's weird to be so close to him,"I say, glancing at the patterns of his comforter.
"Hermione, you might not like this, but I think that this could be a good thing," Ginny sighed.
I gave her a confused look, "How do you mean?"
"In sixth year, you were happy, Hermione. I mean, besides the whole Ron thing with Lavender and Voldemort, but I could see it in your eyes. When you were on those steps and M- Draco left, the light just completely vanished from your eyes. I miss the old Hermione! The one full of passion and happiness and spunk! I hate to admit it, but Draco brought that out of you. These nightmares- a lot of them are just the fact of loosing him! And here you are pushing him away. You're loosing him right now, Hermione. He's apologized!"
I looked at my feet and she sighed, "If you keep pushing him away, he'll never come back and neither will you."
Ginny stood there for a moment before walking out of his bedroom.
I sat on his trunk, holding my head in my hands, thinking.
Before I knew it, I heard voices as two people made their way up the steps.
"Blaise, for the last time, I'm not talking about this right now."
"Okay, just hear me out-"
"If I throw a stick, will you leave?"
"Depends, is it the one up your ass?"
"Screw you, Zabini."
"Only if you ask politely."
"You-" the door opened, but I didn't move, "Hermione? What are you doing in here?"
I looked up and immediately wished I hadn't.
Draco's face was filled with concern. I hated when people worried about me.
I shook my head and stood up, "I'm sorry," I said, and pushed past him and sped into my room, closing the door behind me as I sank the floor, hugging myself, thinking.
I didn't come out for dinner. What's the point of going if I'm not going to eat?
I just sat on my bed, thinking. Thinking over everything and anything.
A knock made me jump, shaking me out of my trance.
"Hermione?" a familiar voice called.
I sighed, it's the last person I want to see right now, when I'm trying to figure everything out.
"Hermione, please let me in," He said.
"Why?"
"Because I want to talk to you," he sighed, his voice muffled.
"Well, maybe I don't want to talk to you!" I countered, but even I could hear the denial in my voice.
"You and I both know that's not true."
I sighed and grabbed my wand, muttering 'alohamora' under my breath.
The door unlocked with a click and suddenly Draco stood in the doorway with a plate of food. I groaned, not again.
"If Ginny's sent you here to force me to eat, it's not going to happen," I scowled.
He shook his head, sitting on my bed, next to my feet, "Ginny didn't send me."
I frowned, "McGonagall?"
Draco sighed and held out the plate.
I didn't take it, but he continued to hold it out to me. I sighed and grabbed it, not missing the small smile on his face, "No one sent me to do anything, I'm just worried about you."
I closed my eyes and bit back a groan.
"I know you hate it when people worry about you. I know- you told me at least a million times in sixth year."
"I'm also not leaving until you eat, so I mean, if you really want me to stay, I guess you could-"
I grabbed a piece of chicken and put it in my mouth, smirking at him. He just grinned and rolled his eyes.
We sat there in silence, me eating, him thinking and occasionally looking at me.
When I was done, I held it up to show him, as if it were a prize. He grinned and grabbed it back from me.
He frowned at the plate and looked back up at me, "I still love you, Hermione. I hope you know that."
I nodded, "I do know that, and," I breathed, "I still love you."
His eyes widened, "So then why push me away? Why not be with me?"
I shook my head, "I said I still love you, that that I still trust you."
Pain swam in his eyes and my heart broke at my brutality and what it caused, but it needed to be said. It was true, after all, I didn't trust him.
"I see," was all he said as he stood up and left.