I was heartbroken and felt betrayed and suddenly I couldn't breathe.
Oh no.
I ran up the stair and I slam my room door and suddenly I couldn't see. I could feel my tears on my face. I'm taking deep breaths and trying to feel the things around me.
I hear my phone ringing and it feels loud to me so I cover my ears. After a few minutes I look around.
I pick up my phone and see that Ryan was the one trying to call me.
As I was about to throw my phone across my room I kept my calm and set my phone down and went to eat breakfast.
"Josie is Issac your boyfriend?" My boyfriend asked and I almost laugh.
"I'm not his type" I say and my mom and I exchange looks.
I texted my group chat with Stasia, Issac,. I told them about Ryan kissing Nina and they send me revenge ideas.
"I just need a guy who's not going to hurt me" I tell them and they don't respond.
There was that Anthony guy from the football game. But I heard he had a new girlfriend now. Maybe being single wasn't so bad. I could spend more time focusing on myself.
I was helping my mom cook dinner while my brother and my dad were setting up the table.
"Sweetie can you hand me the seasoning" my mom asks and I hand it to her and she seasons the chicken.
My family goes all out for Thanksgiving we have Turkey, Ham, Chicken, Meatballs, Spaghetti, Mashed Potatoes Corn, Green Peas, Bread, and Lasagna.
The food lasts us for at least a month and whenever we didn't eat by then we'd give it to the homeless.
After spending hours in the kitchen my mom and I finished cooking. I smelt like food so I went to take a shower.
I then grabbed my speaker and played my breakup playlist. I tried to forget everything about Ryan.
Even though we weren't in a relationship he made me feel something in my heart.
After I shower I put on my skinny jeans and a maroon crop top. I then decided to braid my hair to the side.
I walk to dinner and cause it's still light outside my mom takes pictures of me for my Instagram.
We use a tripod to take family pictures and then we sit at the dining table.
"So Josie how's High School treating you?" My mom asks and I almost choke.
"It's fine I guess. I've made a lot of new friends" I tell her and continue to eat my food.
"Son how's college you met any nice girls"
"Richard" my mom says and my dad laughs.
"Well I've been doing well with my classes I have mid terms coming soon. Also sorry mom but to answer dad's question yes I've met a girl. Her name is Alexa by she likes Lexa better. We're only friends though so it's not serious" my brother says boosting at how successful and happy he is.
While there's me.
Unhappy.
Unsuccessful.
"Well good for you son Josie how are the grades"
"Good the lowest I have is a 76 in Language Arts but my teacher needs to add some grades" I say and he and my mom smile at how lucky they are to have kids like us.
Too bad they don't know the smile I wear is fake.
"Josie how's your relationship status as a mom I want to know these things. Even having a crush counts for something" she tells me.
"Well Benyamin cheated on me and when he and I started to get close again he was just trying to get even with the girl who cheated on him and now he's dating Aja. I liked this guy Ryan dad you've met him. But my friend sent me a picture of him kissing another girl so like now I'm confused and I should just shut up now" I say and look at the faces on my family's face.
"Josie I'm so sorry sweetie I didn't know about all of this I should've talked to you more" my mom says.
"Honey if you want to talk to me anytime or anywhere and that includes school I'll be ready to talk" my dad says.
"I'm not just your brother I'm going to be there for you if you need any advice" my brother says.
"Well thanks guys but I ruined dinner I'm sorry I need fresh air" I say and grab my white jacket and headphones and run out of my house.
I want to cry but I'm not weak I must stay strong. But then I remember I'm not as strong as I think I am. So tears began to fall down my face.
There was nothing and no one who could make me feel better.
I have nothing and nobody but then I feel something hit me. There was no way I'd want to face Ryan after what he did.
I looked around but I was nowhere near his house.
"Pshh" I hear and look on top of a house to see Dylan.
Hopefully he didn't see me crying or that would be so embarrassing.
I walk around his house and there's a ladder to the roof and I climb it. There he was with a blanket and he pat it down.
"Hey" he said.
"Hey" I say hoping I didn't sound bad.
"Wanna talk about it"
"I..."
"Penny for your thoughts" he asks me and I smile.
"Well I ruined my Thanksgiving by being an emotional wreck. I feel like I have no one who understands me and I just wish I couldn't feel anything" I say and he nods.
"Well I just have a panic attack during dinner so that was fun and I just came up here to be alone" he tells me.
"Wow that's rough"
"Nope that's just my life" he says and turns on his phone to change the song playing on.
"Our lives must be shit then"
"We're broken" he tells me and then a song plays and I listen to the lyrics carefully.
"The note that I dropped the other was an old suicide I wrote" he confesses.
"Dylan I'm really sorry that I give you a hard time all the time I didn't know what you've been through" I say and he just decides to hug me.
"Wow since when have you been a huger" I say and we both laugh.
"I didn't always used to be this messed up" he tells me and then we look at each other in the eyes.
"Me either all my life I feel like I've been searching for that someone who's going to fix my problems" I say and just shrug.
"Funny thing because I've been looking too I always end up in the wrong places" he says and then I look at him.
In this moment here with Dylan was a moment I didn't want to end.
Suddenly without thinking I close my eyes and lean in and then I get a text notification. I needed to be home in ten minutes and Dylan looks at me.
"Well I think we should get going" he says and I agree with him.
"Oh so we're not going to talk about what just happened"
"I mean it didn't mean anything I mean I think it was just the moment" he says and I feel a little hurt.
"Yeah you're right it was just in the moment" I say.
"Besides I would want to be the one to kiss first he" he say and I think I just exploded.
I smile and watch as he walks into his house and suddenly I realized something.
Holy shit was I about to kiss Dylan what did it mean? Do I like him? Should I tell Stasia? What the fuck just happened?
But for the first in a long time I felt happy. I actually felt happy and it was all cause of Dylan. I didn't know what it meant cause I barely know him but after what just happened I wanted to get to know him.