It wasn't until they actually arrived at school that Yoongi remembered to tell Namjoon they weren't in the same class. And Namjoon noticed, quite easily, the way Yoongi's voice lowered sadly as he told him this. He knew how dependent Yoongi was on him. He knew how uneasy Yoongi could get when surrounded by people, especially when he wasn't there by his side to calm his nerves. But at the same time, he saw this as an opportunity. Though he didn't know much, Namjoon could sense from their brief encounter that Jimin was special, and he found reassuring the boy's pleasant demeanor and gentle words when speaking to Yoongi. It was certainly something different than what he was used to.
Basically, Jimin had an amiable aura, one that Namjoon almost trusted completely. Yoongi was still the most important person in the world to him, though, so of course he would be cautious.
"We'll see each other at lunch and whenever PE starts," Namjoon told his friend, patting him encouragingly on the back. He pulled down his mask for a second so Yoongi could see the sincerity of his smile. "Okay? Then you can tell me all about the exciting events that go down when I'm not around."
"Sure. Maybe I'll see a snail crawl across the windowsill."
"And I'm sure you'll give the story to me in sarcastic, painstaking detail."
"You know it, Joon."
The two parted ways, somewhat reluctantly, and went to their assigned classrooms. Yoongi ended up falling asleep in his seat until the first class began.
Geometry, first thing in the morning. Luckily for sleepy Yoongi, this was a fairly easy class for him, easy enough that he could afford to doze off every few minutes without waking up totally lost. And dozing off every few minutes was precisely what he did. He'd open his eyes to the sight of their teacher drawing shapes on the board and hear fragments of sentences.
"...and you should all know what a parallelogram is by now..."
"...that you can never assume the measure of an angle if it's not given to..."
"...sum of all the angles, and you'll get..."
"...going to assign a group project that will involve some researching."
Yoongi suddenly felt more awake. Those two words. Please tell me I misheard him.
"Since it's early in the year," the teacher, Mr. Lee, continued, "I'm going to be generous and allow you to pick your partners. However."
Pushing his glasses into place, the middle-aged man drew in a deep breath, then sighed.
"Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin. I'd advise you two, for the sake of your own grade averages, not to choose one another for the project. Do you understand?"
A handful of students started to laugh at the two boys, who nodded at Mr. Lee, no arguments made. It goes without saying that Taehyung didn't want to work with anyone other than Jimin. But he was smart enough to know that if the two of them sat down together and tried to draw a circle, they'd probably end up inventing a new shape by mistake. And neither of them could afford inventing new shapes when their already poor grades were on the line.
Taehyung heaved a dramatic breath and turned around in his seat. "Heejun. You're smart. Be my partner."
"Only if you treat me to udon."
"Deal."
Chattering amongst themselves, the rest of the students, two by two, found partners for this group project. All except, that is, Jimin and Yoongi, who were both awkwardly glancing from wall to wall instead of asking the other to pair up. Now Jimin had considered asking Yoongi the moment their geometry teacher had made mention of the project. But then he reconsidered. Yoongi had turned down being his tutor already. Sort of. And perhaps he wouldn't want to work with someone who was severely lacking in this particular subject.
No, I have to ask. It's not like he hates me, right?
Meanwhile Yoongi was crossing his fingers and mentally crossing his heart. He was conflicted. He didn't like the idea of being in a group with anyone other than Namjoon, not in the slightest, but if it had to be anyone else in this classroom of strangers, he would pick Jimin, right? Surely. Or maybe not so surely. Yoongi wasn't confident he could handle the constant, necessary attention of Jimin that accompanied being his partner.
"Yoongi?"
Jimin finally mustered up the courage to turn around. Yoongi hesitantly met his gaze.
"You wanna pair up?"
"You sure waited a long time to ask."
"Were you waiting for me to ask?"
Yoongi cleared his throat needlessly and stared out the window at a squirrel running up a tree. "As if. I was actually waiting for the dozens of friends I have to come flocking around me, but I guess that didn't happen, huh."
On top of the mint-haired boy's blank expression as he said this, Jimin also found Yoongi's blatant sarcasm absolutely hilarious, and he couldn't suppress the giggles climbing up his throat.
"You're cute, Yoongi. Really cute."
"Alright, everyone, settle down, will you?" Mr. Lee knocked against his lectern. "I'm assuming you've all finished pairing up, so now you're going to hear what you're actually responsible for, ey?"
The students groaned in unison.
"Taehyung, please pass out this instruction sheet to everyone."
"Why must you pick on me?"
"What did you say?"
"I said there is nothing I would rather do, Mr. Lee."
Taehyung did as their teacher asked of him, and as he handed Jimin his sheet, he pouted a petty pout, then whispered something about Mr. Lee which Yoongi couldn't make out. Namely because he was distracted by the echoing words in his head.
Did Jimin just call me cute?
-----
The following day, Mr. Lee gave the students his class to use for researching. Some diligent people had brought books with them, while most of the others simply went to the school library. Among those people were Jimin and Yoongi, as well as Taehyung, which surprised everyone. Although Yoongi feared that Tae would end up distracting Jimin from working, and that...
...wouldn't actually be a bad thing. If that idiot is distracting Jimin, then that means Jimin won't be able to distract me and I can focus on getting the project done. Perfect.
There was one little flaw in Yoongi's plan. Apparently Jimin had had no intention of doing anything other than project-related matters. He was a hard worker, Yoongi discovered, willing to hunt down resources and bring them to Yoongi without having been asked. He must have wanted to prove to the other that despite being an idiot, he could still carry his own weight.
"Is this enough for now?"
Jimin set down a stack of seven large books in front of his partner. Yoongi blinked in disbelief. He could have sworn he sat down at this table two seconds ago.
"Maybe." He picked up whatever was on the top of the stack and turned to the table of contents. "...this should be good for the introduction of the report."
"Really??"
"Yeah."
Jimin pulled out the chair next to Yoongi and sat down. A little too close, Yoongi noted. He cleared his throat.
"If you want, you can start looking through one of the other books and write stuff down. We're gonna have to include examples and explanations and all that fun stuff, so if there's any of the basic geometrical concepts you don't entirely recall, maybe you should read over those first. You know, to refresh your memory."
"Right..." Jimin stared uncertainly at the books. "Refresh my memory..."
"...what's wrong?"
"Remember how I told you I suck at math?"
There was a long stretch of silence. A distant cough could be heard across the library.
"You don't know anything, do you..."
"I think I know what a circle looks like. Does that count?"
Yoongi wasn't quite sure if it were the pitiful sound of Jimin's voice or the genuine hopelessness on the boy's face, but for some strange reason, the corner of Yoongi's mouth tilted upward. He quickly realized this and hid behind his hand.
But Jimin's eyes had been quicker.
"Was that a smile?"
He leaned closer to Yoongi, who, as a result of this unforeseen closeness, flinched harshly and would have fallen out of his chair, had Jimin not caught him by the hand just in time.
"This is the second time you've reacted that way."
His words were coated in something akin to great concern. And his eyes, painted with that same coating, locked onto Yoongi's, seeming to have no intent of breaking away until he received some kind of answer. But to what, Yoongi wondered. He slowly pulled his hand out of Jimin's tender grasp.
"Are you...scared of me?"
If he were honest with himself, Jimin would have admitted that this was an embarrassing thing for him to say out loud. However his curious and troubled mind urged him to say it anyway. He wanted to hear Yoongi speak. Whatever he might say in reply. Jimin didn't expect the reply to come right away, either, and it didn't. But that was okay. Both boys were caught in each other's gaze, unknowingly trying to figure the other out.
"I'm not scared."
There was no trace of certainty in his words. Yoongi knew that Jimin sensed this, too.
"You can tell me, Yoongi. If I make you uneasy then tell me. I'll keep my distance."
He felt sick to his stomach. Why did Jimin's voice become so serious all of a sudden? His facial features were frozen in place, breathing steady and audible. Yoongi tore his eyes away. He knew he wouldn't win this battle.
"An-..." His tongue stopped, not even having finished half of a word. Am I seriously about to do this? "Anth...anthropophobia."
Jimin blinked. "What?"
Of course. He probably doesn't know what that means. Who the heck would know what a fourteen letter word meant?
Yoongi could think of no other way than to just google it for him. So he took out his phone and typed define anthropophobia into the search engine. Then he--tentatively--handed the phone to Jimin.
What felt like hours drifted by. Yoongi grew increasingly sicker.
"...Yoongi."
Jimin's shoulders sank as he returned the device to its owner.
"I'm sorry," he said, which unintentionally came out as a whisper. "I...I had no idea. Yoongi, I-...I'm really sorry."
"You don't have to apologi-"
"No, you don't understand, I feel really bad."
He really did. Jimin's heart had sunk as he read the top result on Google, straightaway blaming himself for every unsettled look he had seen on Yoongi's face.
Anthropophobia is an extreme, pathological form of shyness and timidity. ... [It] can be best defined as the fear of people in crowded situations, but can also go beyond and leave the person uncomfortable when being around just one person. Conditions vary depending on the person.
This must have been why Yoongi acted so on guard when Jimin absentmindedly got close to him, Jimin thought. Why he seemed anxious while maintaining eye contact. Why he always seemed like he wanted to get away from people during the day. All along, all the attention Jimin was giving him had been...unwanted. That was what Jimin believed, anyway, and the thought of it being true hurt him in a way he couldn't describe.
"The definition...is probably blown out of proportion in my case," Yoongi said. He scratched the back of his head as he stared at the floor. "It's not that I can't be around people, it's just..." He stopped himself to catch his breath, which had oddly grown thin, most likely due to the solemnity of the conversation. Moreover a conversation that wasn't with Namjoon. "...I guess I've just fallen into a bad pace, ya know? Going such a long time...without talking with more than one person. It was comfortable to me. And I've always been kinda scared of trying new things, so I never made an effort to...well, make new friends. No one paid attention to me anyway. I told myself I was happy with that. But even though they didn't talk to me, they were still there, and I just felt...boxed in? I guess. I don't know, it's hard to explain..." Yoongi swallowed a lump in his throat. A part of him wanted to stop talking, but simultaneously, he was in some sort of daze, a zone, where he couldn't, perhaps didn't want to, stop talking. "But then there's you." Here I go. About to say something stupid. "You've...been nothing but nice to me these past couple of days, and it's honestly so strange to me. I've never known someone so friendly. Even Namjoon isn't like that, and he's somehow been best friends with the world's biggest grump for...twelve years now? So I think that what I'm trying to say is...in a good way, you seem different. And you don't have to apologize. You did nothing wrong, Jimin."
There was quietness. A peculiar quietness which settled after Yoongi had finished his rambling, something he never would have foreseen himself doing. And what he also hadn't foreseen was that Jimin would hang on every little word he spoke, every slight change in his tone, every twitch of his lips and shifting of his eyes, and most of all...
"I think that's the first time you've ever said my name."