Joslynn's POV
I was in my exam. This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I can't concentrate. I can hardly breathe. I feel like I could break out crying any given minute. Joshua seems mad. I've gotten remarks from kids saying things like "I don't see why he dates you. You're clearly using him for his fame."
Other kids come over and congratulate. I feel like I'm lying to them all. I don't say anything back to the kids who congratulate, or the kids who insult. I don't have the strength to tell the truth. Some people say that the truth will set you free, but I feel as if it's the truth that's holding me back from everything.
I'm in a situation that should be easily fixable. But, no, because I have the most complicated life on planet Earth; the easiest of situations become the hardest and biggest things to deal with.
I was currently in my English exam. I simply couldn't concentrate. I was on the last page, and there was actually plenty of time left. I had been circling random answers, not even bothering to read the questions. I quickly randomly filled random answers on the last page, not even slightly scared about the outcome.
I then quickly got up, slammed my exam on Mrs. Miller's desk and started to dart out of the room as tears started to well up. As I left the room, I heard Mrs. Miller's voice yell, "Ms. Davis, get back here this instant!"
But I didn't listen. I needed to go anywhere...anywhere but that classroom. So, I did what most of the girls do in the movies. I darted for the bathroom and locked myself in a stall. I sat in the corner of the handicap bathroom stall and cried.
Well, I don't think it can be called crying at this point. I was sobbing. I was gasping for breath. I was broken. I was helpless. I was worthless. I was nothing.
It was about another minute before Jacqueline came into the bathroom and climbed into the stall I was in. "What was that all about?" she asked worriedly, pulling me into a hug.
"I...I..." I was chocking on my words.
"You what, Joslynn?"
"I...I can't..." I sobbed.
Jacqueline hugged me and asked, "Does this have to do with Louis?"
His name made me cry harder. I just nodded.
Jacqueline sighed and said, "I can't say that I understand your pain...but I have a feeling everything will be okay."
"How do you know everything will be okay, Jacqueline?" I asked.
I looked over at her, and her facial expression was unsure.
"You don't know what could happen, Jos--"
"And you don't know what could happen, either, Jacqueline." I snapped. I was in such a crap mood that I didn't care about my attitude. I wanted to sit in a ball and cry.
Jacqueline took a deep breath. She knows I wasn't trying to be rude to her. "I'm going to tell Mrs. Miller you're feeling sick, and you should try and get someone to pick you up or I would walk home."
I just nodded my head as Jacqueline climbed back out from under the door. I heard the bathroom door close, leaving me to dwell in my own, pitiful tears.
I sat there, not sure of what to do. I needed to get home, and fast. But, Jacqueline drove me here. And, it's raining. There's no way in hell I'm walking back.
I then pulled out my phone and dialed the number of the person I know would always be there for me, no matter what.
"Hello?" he asked.
"Li-Liam...I-I..." I was gasping for air and it was hard to breathe.
"Joslynn, is everything okay?"
I couldn't answer. My tears had too much control over me.
"I'm coming to get you." he said before the line went dead.
I put away my phone and leaned against the wall of the bathroom. The tears kept coming. I couldn't handle all of this. It's simply too much. I don't even know what I want anymore. I want to be friends with Louis one moment, I want to hate him another, and another minute it was as if...I wanted him to like me.
I truly didn't understand myself. All of these thoughts were overwhelming. I feel like I owe Louis and apology, and I know that I need him, but it's so hard to just get him back again. I don't know if he's going to want to accept any sort of apology of mine, especially after I made him cry and put him through shit.
I continued to cry and dwell in my thoughts when I got a text that said, "Wher r u???" from Liam.
I texted back saying, "Girls bathroom."
"But i cnt go in ther!! im a dude!" he replied.
I rolled my eyes and said, "Get over it and come in here."
Liam texted back "ugh ok fine"
His grammar is literally the saddest thing ever, but it makes me laugh a little.
After a few minutes, I heard the bathroom door open and a familiar voice ask, "Joslynn?"
I couldn't say anything. I was still crying. Liam must have heard my sobs, because soon enough he was knocking on the stall door. I slowly got up and unlocked the stall and looked up to a concerned Liam.
Liam instantly pulled me into a hug and asked, "What's wrong, baby girl?"
That made me smile a little. Liam knows exactly what to say when comforting me, and one of those things is calling me 'baby girl.' It made me feel special. I was Liam's baby girl. No one else was. Not even Danielle.
"I...I just...I feel...broken." I choked out.
Liam nodded his head and stroked the back of my head. He kept saying "Shhh." and small things like "It will be okay."
After a few minutes of just standing there, Liam led me outside and to the car. He helped me get strapped in the passenger seat as he went over to the driver's side.
It was about ten minutes into the drive when I realized he wasn't driving me home. I didn't bother question it, because I think home is the last place I want to be right now.
About twenty minutes later, we were at a tiny diner I had been to a few times. It's not just any diner, but it's a special diner I used to go to with Liam whenever I had something Louis couldn't always help with.
It was our special place. Liam used to take me here when I needed to talk because it was quiet. No one ever comes here, and no one seemed to care that Liam Payne from One Direction was here. The same old woman has been running the tiny diner ever since Liam and I started going there about two years ago when we had first met.
I don't know how to describe Liam's and my relationship. It's different. It's special. He's my big brother and I know he'll be there with me through everything. I talked to him almost as much as I talked to Louis when I couldn't see them.
I slowly got out of the car and Liam and I started walking towards the diner together. "I thought it would be a good thing if I brought you here...ya know, cause we always used to come here whenever you needed to talk." Liam said.
I smiled at him and sniffled a bit from my crying. I said, "Thanks, LiLi. You really do know what's best for me."
Liam simply smiled down at me and pulled me into the diner. When we entered, there was just an old man sitting in the corner drinking a cup of coffee. He looked up and gave us a warm smile before going back to reading the newspaper he had at the table.
We then walked over to the counter, but there was no one there. About a minute later, an old woman who was about seventy or so came rushing out of the kitchen. She didn't even look up to see who was there before she asked, "What can I get for you?"
Before we could say something, she looked up and instantly smiled. "Liam! Joslynn! My oh my, it sure has been a while since I've seen you two in here!"
Liam and I both gave her a warm smile before Liam spoke up and said, "Maggie! It's great to see you again. And yeh, I'm here with some of my friends visiting Joslynn. It's been about a year since we've been here, and we thought we'd pay her a visit since she's graduating."
Maggie's jaw dropped as she looked at me. "Graduating already? I remember you two years ago when you two first walked into this diner. Time flies."
I gave a small smile and said, "It really does."
Maggie nodded and said, "So, what can I get you two?"
"I'll just have a coffee." I said.
"Same for me." Liam said.
Maggie nodded and said, "Alright. And don't worry about paying. It's on the house."
Liam smiled at Maggie and said, "Thanks, Mags."
Maggie smiled and went off to make our coffee as Liam and I found a booth to sit in.
"So...are you going to tell me what happened?" Liam asked.
I sighed before saying, "I'm just...confused."
"About?"
"Everything that has to do with Louis..."
"I see...and why are you confused? I thought you were just mad at him because he messed up on the radio interview."
"Well, yeah, of course I was mad...but last night...something happened..." I said.
"And I'm expecting it has to do with the reason why you were crying last night?" Liam asked.
I gulped and nodded my head. "I sort of...overheard...a conversation Louis had on the phone at about 3:30 this morning..."
"Oh?" Liam asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
"Yeah...I was sort of..."
"Eavesdropping?" he asked.
I nodded by head shyly. "But he was on the phone with Simon...and he was talking about me..."
"And what was he saying to Simon?" Liam asked.
"He just called Simon and was asking if you guys could get an interview...so ya know, he could fix things with me..."
"And then....?"
"Simon started...saying things to Louis...that sort of made Louis...open up..." I said slowly.
"Oh? And what did Louis open up about...?" Liam asked.
"Well...Louis said the reason he had said I was his girlfriend was because he had been...thinking...about me being his girlfriend right before the interview..."
"Oh..." Liam awkwardly said.
Before I could respond, Maggie came rushing over with our coffee and said, "There you kids are. Enjoy." She gave us a warm smile before trotting back to cleaning the counter.
"Well...did you know anything about that?" I asked.
"Umm...sort of?" he said, unsure.
"Liam. Tell me."
Liam sighed before he said, "It's nothing to really worry about...we were just picking on him in the car. We were saying how it would be cute if you two went out and stuff, but he found it sort of annoying and told us to stop...I guess that was just on his mind and that's why he said what he did."
I groaned before saying, "But that still doesn't answer why he didn't fix it. On the phone he was going on about how it 'didn't feel right' to fix it, or whatever. I just..." I groaned, putting my face in my hands. "I'm confused."
Tears of frustration started to well up, and I'm pretty sure Liam noticed because before I knew it, a pair of strong arms were wrapping around me and pulling me into their chest.
"It'll be okay, Jos. I know it's all confusing right now, but I can assure you that you will get answers soon enough."
I sniffed and nodded my head and said, "It's just a lot to think about...the thought of Louis liking me is just...a bit overwhelming."
Liam asked, "Is it overwhelming because you don't like him like that and if he did like you, you wouldn't want to hurt his feelings?"
I shook my head no. "I don't know what I feel anymore, Liam. I don't know what he feels, either. The reason it's overwhelming is because I know for a fact I'm not good enough for him."
"Now, now...where would you get that idea? Any guy would be lucky to have you."
"Just...Louis is this big, popstar guy, now. He's a lot different than from when we were little. He's got so much to live for, and he has thousands of girls at his feet who would be willing to date him, so I don't exactly understand why he would like me if there are fans who are a lot prettier and better out there."
"Jos, don't you go into that nonsense. Louis may have all of these girls at his feet, but he can have his sights set on one special girl. Those girls were Hannah and Eleanor for a while. Maybe it's your turn. But, I have the slightest feeling that you would stick around a lot longer."
I sighed before saying, "I doubt that, Liam. Hannah and Eleanor were both so much prettier than me And I don't want to be some girl he's going to dump after a few months."
"Joslynn. Look at me." Liam said.
I had been staring absentmindedly at the table, so I turned my gaze to Liam. "I know for a fact if Louis were to date you, he would not just dump you after a few months. You mean SO much more to him than that, and don't you try to deny that, because deep down you know that it's true. Have you ever thought that Louis may have dumped those other girls so quickly because they just weren't you?"
Why would Louis want me over Hannah or Eleanor? Louis has a thing for brunettes, anyway. I'm blonde. Even though Hannah was blonde, she was far more prettier and better than me. I don't see why Louis would choose me over either girls.
"Liam, I think you're jumping to conclusions..." I said.
Liam shrugged before saying, "It was just a thought. I can't say I know exactly how Louis feels about you. We all tease him a lot about the idea of you two being together, but I don't think it's my call to say whether or not if he actually does like you or not."
I groaned before saying, "I feel like I'm never going to have answers."
"I have an idea about what you could do with this situation." Liam said.
"And that would be...?"
"Don't turn it into a big situation. Let whatever happens, happen. Live for the moment, because everything else is uncertain."
I cracked a smile before saying, "Louis always says that."
"And there's a lot of truth behind that, Jos. I don't think you should be mad at him anymore. You know he's extremely sorry and he's making an effort to fix things. It would make things a lot easier to fix if you were there helping him fix things with the media. And, in order to do that, you have to be there for him as your best friend."
"So...you think I should just forgive Louis..."
"In my opinion, yes. But I think you should only forgive Louis if you think you should...and if you're doing it for the right reasons."
"Maybe...it's...time to...forgive him...He's my best friend. My rock. My everything. And maybe I should just let whatever happens happen and deal with what is happening now..."
Liam smiled before saying, "I think you've got it down."
I hugged Liam and he hugged me back. "Liam...you mean the world to me, you know that?"
Liam blushed a bit and shrugged. "I'm just here to make sure you stay in one piece."
"Well, by doing that, you're doing a lot, Liam, because whenever I'm lost, you always find me."