#GrievingSoulWP
Chapter 34
Embrace
After I was done placing the leftover foods inside the fridge, I decided to go outside of the mansion and sat on the fine grains of sand. I almost forgot that our mansion has a beach at the back of it that made me in love with it before. Well, even until now that it's already my home, I'm still in love with it.
I looked up in the sky, hoping to see a starry night, but I guess the sky was mimicking my current feelings. It was very dark and I couldn't even see a faint light from the stars. Though, it was a good thing that the moon was visible as it could still give light to the dark sky.
Nakakamangha dahil kahit na mag-isa lang siya ngayong gabi, nagawa niya pa ring magbigay ng liwanag sa kadiliman ng gabi kahit papaano. Nilabanan niya ang makakapal na ulap na tumakip sa mga bituin na dapat ay kasama nito at hindi nagpasakop dito.
I didn't want to go inside our room yet. Gusto ko munang magpahangin para kahit papaano'y gumaang ang aking pakiramdam. Ayoko ring abutan siyang gising pa sa aming kuwarto dahil hindi ko alam kung paano ako aakto.
Gusto kong matawa dahil isang araw pa lang ang nakakaraan mula no'ng umiiwas ako kay Gio pero ni mangiti ay hindi ko magawa dahil siya ngayon ang lumalayo sa akin. Just when I was trying to cope up with one of the changes in my life, it suddenly changed again. Sobrang bilis nang pagbabago ng buhay ko na hindi ko na masigurado sa sarili kung akin pa ba ang buhay na 'to. I wasn't the one who's in control of it anymore, and I didn't know if I could still successfully grab the handle to lead my life once again.
Ang sabi ng iba ay suwerte ang mga taong nakakaranas ng madaming problema dahil kapag nalagpasan mo ang lahat ng problema na 'yon ay wala kang kasing tatag at tiyak na marami kang matututunan. Pero paano naman ang mga hindi kayang lagpasan ang nakaharang na problema? Papasanin na lang nila ang bawat problemang makakaharap nila para lamang makausad at kapag hindi na nila kaya ang bigat ay tuluyan na rin silang bibigay.
Sa dalawang magkaibang tao na 'yon, sino kaya ako sa kanila?
The cold night breeze blew so hard at nanunot ang lamig sa aking balat. The spaghetti strap dress that I was wearing made it hard for me to bear with the arctic feeling of the cold wind. Wala akong nagawa kundi pumasok na lang ulit sa loob ng bahay at agad na naramdaman ang init na inaasam.
Habang papalapit ako sa aming kuwarto ay paulit-ulit akong nananalangin na sana ay hindi ko na maabutang gising si Gio at nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang masagot ang aking panalangin.
Gio was sleeping on the couch. His right forearm was resting on his forehead and his legs were curled up just to fit on the small space of our couch. Just by looking at him, I can see that he wasn't comfortable with his position at all.
Parang may mainit na kamay na humaplos sa aking puso habang pinapanood siyang mapayapang natutulog. Pagod na nga siya, pagkatapos ay hindi pa siya makapagpahinga ng maayos nang dahil sa kanyang masikip at maliit na higaan.
"Gio..."
Marahan kong inaalog-alog ang kanyang braso. Nasisiguro kong hindi malalim ang kanyang pagtulog sa masikip na upuan kaya agad siyang nagising. Unti-unti niyang idinilat ang kanyang mga mata at saka ako nilingon.
Ngumiti naman ako sa kanya. "Doon ka na sa kama matulog," sabi ko. "Maglilinis lang ako pagkatapos ay matutulog na rin."
Bago pa siya bumangon ay tumungo na ako sa walk-in closet para kumuha ng aking pantulog. Nang lumabas ako roon ay lumawak ang aking ngiti nang makitang mabilis siyang nakatulog sa kama. Dumiretso na ako sa banyo pagkatapos siyang titigan nang ilang segundo para maglinis ng katawan at magpalit ng pantulog.
I spent almost thirty minutes inside the bathroom. When I walked out of it, my eyes immediately drifted to Gio who was finally in deep sleep. Mabilis na lumalim ang kanyang pagtulog dahil alam kong komportable na siya sa napakalaking kama na dapat naman talaga ay siya ang gumagamit. Lahat nang nandito sa loob ng bahay ay galing sa kanyang sariling pera.
Nilingon ko ang bakanteng couch at bumuntong hininga.
"Well, it's your turn to sleep there, Iarra..." I softly whispered to myself.
Mabuti na lang at mayroon ng unan sa couch. Kumuha na lang ako ng extra comforter sa loob ng walk-in closet bago humiga sa couch at laking gulat ko nang tamang-tama lang pala sa laki ko ang sukat nito. It was slightly uncomfortable since I was accustomed in sleeping on a comfy bed, but I knew I could sleep here with no problem.
Nang makuha ko na ang tamang puwesto ay agad din akong hinila ng antok at nakatulog na sa couch pero nang magising ako kinaumagahan ay nasa malawak na kama na ako. Nilingon ko ang kabilang gilid at nakitang wala roon si Gio.
I smiled when I realized that he was the one who put me in bed. Even though he wanted to keep his distance, he still cared for me.
Mabillis akong tumungo sa banyo upang makaligo muna bago bumaba upang kumain ng umagahan. Hindi ko alam kung aalis ba si Gio ngayon kaya wala na siya sa aming kuwarto gayong alas-diez pa lang pero sana ay hindi.
I sprinted down the stairs and stopped at the dining room's threshold when I saw Gio on the dining table with an unfamiliar woman. The woman chuckled and lightly tapped Gio's arms.
Dumako ang aking tingin sa pagkain na nakahain bilang umagahan at nakita ang mga natirang putahe na niluto ko kagabi. Sinundan ko ng tingin ang babae na kumuha pa ng chocolate cupcake na para lamang sana kay Gio.
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nararamdaman ko pero ang sigurado ko lang ay alam ko sa sariling kong naiinis ako sa presensya nang 'di kilalang babae na nasa aming hapag kainan at kasabay kumain ni Gio.
Humakbang ako lalo papasok sa loob at nakuha ko ang atensyon ni Gio na agad lumingon sa akin. Kita ko kung paano bahagyang nawala ang ngiti sa kanyang labi. Nang mapansin ng babae na nawala na ang atensyon sa kanya ng kaharap ay napalingon din siya sa akin.
I was stunned at her beauty when she turned to look at me with a smile plastered on her lips. She looked like a princess straight from fairytales, especially when her dress was flaunted the moment she stood up from her seat.
"Good morning," she greeted me with a sweet voice. "You must be Dianarra, Gio's wife."
Nangangalap pa ako ng sagot na aking nais isagot sa kanya nang unahan na ako ni Gio sa pagsasalita.
"She is my wife," Gio confirmed my identity to her.
The woman chuckled and looked at Gio again. "You didn't tell me that she's beautiful, Gio."
Napailing na lang si Gio at bumalik na ang ngiti sa kanyang labi bago muling lumingon sa akin.
"Samahan mo na kami sa pagkain," pag-aya ni Gio sa akin.
Mas lalong umusbong ang inis sa aking loob habang papaupo ako sa harapan ni Gio dahil ang lumalabas ay parang kailangan ko pa ng kanyang salita para lang makasabay ako sa kanilang pagkain ng umagahan.
"I'm sorry for my intrusion early in the morning, Dianarra," she suddenly apologized to me when I was already seated. "Gio invited me for breakfast, and I couldn't say no."
"It's okay..." I timidly smiled at her. "But uhm... may I know your name to address you properly?"
Hindi man lang kasi siya ipinakilala sa akin ni Gio.
"Oh, my bad!" She gracefully laughed and offered her hand for a shake as she introduced herself. "I'm Geneveive Zanni, Gio's friend in England and also his future client."
"We already closed the deal last night," Gio interrupted our conversation. "You're already my client."
"Well, whatever you say, Gio..." She just rolled her eyes at Gio before keeping her eyes locked on mine.
Nakangiti ko namang tinanggap ang kanyang kamay. Hindi ko maiwasang punahin ang pagiging malapit nila ni Gio dahil sa kanilang magaang na pagtrato sa isa't isa.
I bitterly recalled her words. She said that she's Gio's friend in England and also, she's his new client. Siya iyong kasama ni Gio buong araw kahapon na dahilan kung bakit gabi na rin siyang nakauwi.
"I didn't know that Gio has a friend in England," I told her, trying to start a conversation. "I thought his focus was all on his studies and business."
Mukhang nagustuhan naman ni Geneveive ang aking napiling topic dahil agad na lumiwanag ang kanyang mukha. Sa hitsura niya pa lang ay nakikita kong handang-handa siyang magkuwento.
"Yes, he was really focused on his studies and business that time. I just really kept on bugging him before from time to time that's why we became close," she laughed as she reminisced their moments in England. "He even had no time to make friends with other people or date for a long time that's why I was completely surprised when he told me yesterday that he was already married. It's not like Gio to marry someone and commit himself."
I didn't know why I was slightly offended with her words. I tried to read between the lines, and I didn't like what I deciphered. It seemed like she was indirectly telling me that our marriage wouldn't last because Gio's not the type of person to commit for a long time. Kung makapagsalita rin siya ay akala mong mas kilala niya si Gio kaysa sa akin.
"I know..." sabi ko at pinanatili pa rin ang ngiti sa aking labi. "I've known Gio since we were kids, and even before, he was very uninterested with girls."
"Oh! So, you two already know each other for a long time?" She looked surprised.
Isang matagumpay na ngiti ang pumalit sa aking normal na ngiti. Kung hindi niya alam, ngayon, alam na niya.
"We're best friends," I proudly told her.
"Oh my gosh! Don't tell me like in some of those romantic movies, you two were best friends who suddenly fell in love and married each other," she said like it was something funny. "Well, that's very unusual in real life."
Hindi ko na magawang kumontra sa kanyang sinabi kahit na mayroong parteng mali sa kanyang hinuha. Pati si Gio ay natahimik din at hindi rin kumibo.
"Anyway, Gio told me that you're the one who cooked these dishes. They are all very delicious!" she complimented me.
I smiled at her. "Thank you."
"You're a really good cook!" she continued and glaced at Gio. "Gio likes a woman who's good at cooking because he can't cook very well."
Gio smirked at her. "I'm getting better in cooking."
Muli siyang marahan na pinalo sa braso ni Geneveive habang natatawa sa pagbibiro niya.
"You're a liar," she teased him. "I remembered when you playfully told me that you stopped dating me because I'm not a good cook. Do you know how bad I felt that time? I even enrolled myself in a culinary school just to fit your ideal type!"
Kung kanina ay nagagawa ko pa ring suotin ang ngiti sa aking labi, ngayon ay hindi ko na ito nakayang panatilihin at tuluyan nang naglaho.
I suddenly remembered when Gio told me that he tried to date a girl but he still ended things between them because of me. Who would've thought that this woman was the one he tried dating out of all the women he met? Sa lahat ng mga babaeng nakilala niya ay siya lamang ang pinaunlakan ni Gio na pumasok sa buhay niya para subukang magmahal ng iba bukod pa sa akin. She must be very special, if that's the case.
I didn't voice out my thoughts anymore. I just pursed my lips and started to eat what I put in my plate. Hindi ko na nasundan kung ano man ang pinag-uusapan nila ngayon dahil ayoko nang makinig pa.
"Thank you very much for the delicious breakfast, Dianarra," Geneveive thanked me once we were done eating breakfast.
Tipid na lang akong ngumiti sa kanya at saka niligpit na ang aming pinagkainan nang pumasok si Mina sa kusina upang tulungan ako.
"Ako na riyan, Ate Iarra," sabi niya sa akin.
Inilingan ko na lang siya. "Tutulong na ako. Wala naman akong gagawin."
Nararamdaman ko ang panonood sa amin ni Gio habang patuloy kami ni Mina sa pagliligpit ng pinagkainan sa hapag kainan.
"Aalis kami ngayon ni Geneveive at babalik ng San Antonio," biglang sabi ni Gio kaya napatigil ako sa pangangalap ng mga kubyertos sa lamesa. "I don't know what time will I be home."
I bit my lower lip and nodded while I continued with cleaning the dining table.
"The wedding gifts we received are in the living room. You can already open it if you want to," he told me. "Tingnan mo kung ano sa mga regalo ang magagamit natin sa bahay."
"Okay..." I simply said and turned my back on him to place the utensils in the sink.
"I'll see if I can go home early tonight," pahabol niya.
Hindi na ako sumagot o tumango pa sa kanya. Naglakad na ako patungo sa kusina kung nasaan si Mina at nililinis na ang mga plato sa lababo. Mina and I were in complete silence while we washed the dishes. Pakiramdam ko ay nararamdaman niyang hindi maganda ang aking pakiramdam kaya hindi na rin siya nangulit pa.
Pagkatapos maglinis ay dumiretso na ako sa sala upang buksan ang ilang mga regalo sa amin. Madami-dami rin ang mga ito kaya nanghingi na ako ng tulong kina Mina at Wenna na mukhang nag-eenjoy sa pagbubukas ng mga regalo.
Ang mga iilang puwedeng ipalamuti sa mansyon ay pinag-isipan namin nang mabuti kung saan dapat ilagay at ang mga ibang hindi pa magagamit ay inilipat namin sa bodega. And once we were done on dealing with the gifts, I went to the beach behind our house and washed myself up with salt water. Nakaidlip din ako sa sun lounger ng iilang minuto bago ko naisipang lumusong ulit sa dagat. Matapos lumangoy sa dagat ay dumiretso na ako sa aming kuwarto para maligo ulit sa banyo at magpalit ng kumportableng damit.
I spent the rest of the day inside our room reading a novel and idling in between. Natigil lamang ako nang tawagin na ako ni Mina para kumain ng dinner. Hindi na ako nagulat na wala pa si Gio dahil paniguradong gagabihin sila kung pupunta sila ng San Antonio. Hindi ko na rin siya hinintay at sumabay na ako kina Mina at Wenna sa pagkain ng hapunan bago bumalik sa aming kuwarto.
Hindi puwedeng ganito lang magiging gawain ko sa mga susunod na araw. Dapat ay mayroon akong ibang pagkaabalahan dahil mababaliw ako kung ganito lang ang magiging buhay ko. I should probably talk to my mother tomorrow and get back to work.
Nang maramdaman ko na ang antok sa aking sistema ay tumayo na ako mula sa kama upang pumuwesto ulit sa couch. The king-sized bed was too big for me that it felt like I was drowning on it. Bago pa ako tuluyang hilahin palalim ng aking tulog ay narinig ko ang pagbukas ng pintuan. I kept my eyes closed as I felt someone walking closer to me. And when a familiar manly scent enveloped my nose, I knew he was already home from being with the woman he once dated to forget me.
I couldn't help but to think if he's seeing her again to try forgetting me for the second time around because he thought he might succeed this time.
My thoughts were suddenly interrupted when I felt his hands carefully sliding below my body and secured me firmly on his hold before carefully lifting me up from the couch. Mas lalo kong naamoy ang kanyang bango nang dumikit ang aking mukha sa kanyang dibdib ngunit agad din akong nalayo nang dahan-dahan niya akong inihiga sa aming kama. Nanatili pa rin akong nakapikit habang pinapakiramdaman ang kanyang gagawin dahil hindi pa siya umaalis sa aking gilid.
Balak ko na sanang unti-unting dumilat at wala nang pakialam kung malaman niyang gising pa ako pero nang maramdaman ko ang kanyang kamay na marahang dumapo sa aking pisngi ay napatigil ako. His fingers gently traced my cheekbones to my nose. He even removed the mess that my hair did to my face. Maingat niya itong sinikop at itinabi sa gilid ng aking balikat.
Hindi rin nagtagal ay naramdaman ko na ang kanyang paglayo sa akin. Muli ko sanang susubukang sumilip pero nang umuga ang kabilang bahagi ng kama ay kumalma ang aking pakiramdam. He lied down beside me before I felt him moving closer to my side. Not wanting to wake me up, he slowly wrapped his arm on my waist, and I felt his warm minty breath on my cheek. His tensed body immediately relaxed when he thought he didn't wake me up. Little did he know, I was awake the whole time.
"I'm sorry, Iarra..." he quietly whispered to my ear before his embrace got tighter.
I couldn't deny how comfortable I was in his arms. With just a simple embrace from him, I felt the solace and security that I haven't felt for a while now.
His hand searched for my left hand and when he found it, his fingers caressed my wedding ring. Ilang minuto niya rin itong pinaglaruan bago siya tuluyang tumigil at naramdaman ko ang pagbigat ng nakayakap niyang braso sa akin hudyat nang kanyang pagtulog.
I smiled and let myself drifted to sleep without any worries.
It wasn't a bad thing marrying my best friend afterall.