WE DIDN'T LOOK ALL NIGHT.
Mason made sure of that, with Malia's help, and eventually Scott caved, and inevitably dragged me to the car.
We didn't find them. That alone could make me cry for weeks- Liam was still out there, and the longer he's out there, the chances of him getting killed were greater. The thought made it hard to breathe as I thought of the night he'd spend alone and in pain if he was still alive before we could continue looking tomorrow.
I didn't want to return to the McCall household; I wanted to keep looking- and I would've if Scott and the others didn't drag me home.Mason pointed out that I'd be no help to Liam if I ended up passing out from exhaustion- none of us would. And that's when I finally and reluctantly came to my senses and stopped attempting to jump out of the car.
I froze when I entered, because it couldn't be- how could it be? We searched everywhere for them and- it just couldn't be. Because there they were- my brother and Hayden, curled up onto one another, seemingly unharmed for now,asleep and safe right there on Scott's couch. I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle the sob of relief I knew was coming.
One by one they all hugged Theo- my brother's savior. I caught a glimpse of Scott's face through it all, and was I imagining the look on his face? Was he jealous and angry Theo was the one to rescue them? Or was he just suspicious on how Theo found them and we didn't?Knowing Scott McCall it was probably the second. Honestly though, I don't care how Theo found them- I'm just happy he did and so beyond grateful.
I come to an awkward halt in front of my... I'm not even sure. Ex something. I'm looking down at my feet, unable to look into his eyes after what I did.
Theo's pulling me into a hug after that, and I'm shocked still for a moment before I wrap my arms around him too. "Thank you.. God, Theo, thank you.."
Lydia and I shared a hug before we spread a blanket over my brother and his new lover. (I think? This snuggle was definitely not platonic.) I shared a smile with my best friend, and I could tell she was feeling the same relief I was that they were found.
I open my mouth to apologize for my behavior earlier, and she seems to know it because she was quick to cut me off, waving me off.
The room slowly cleared out as Scott went to talk to Kira outside(in the rain...) and Malia and Theo went upstairs to research more about the Dread Doctors. Soon, it was just Lydia and I, and the sleeping sophomores. I carefully tucked the blanket up higher on my brother, reigning in tears.
He's here. He's alive.
Liam stirred a little, his eyebrows drawing into a straight line before his blue eyes opened a crack, squinting at Lydia and I hovering over him. "Indi?" he mumbled, voice thick with exhaustion.
I felt myself almost lose my composure, but who wouldn't when Liam was here, and safe and talking- much more than I dared hope for after his kidnapping. But I just smiled, eyes stinging with tears of relief, and nodded, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "You're okay now, Li. Go back to sleep. You and Hayden are safe now."
That seemed to suffice, and he slowly drifted off, letting me finally let the tears fall, and to sob on my best friend's shoulder.
"I-I thought I was gonna lose him!" I sobbed into Lydia's shoulder. I felt her arms embrace me tightly, and she nodded.
"I know, Indi, I know." she murmured.
I was still crying too, even though Liam is safe now. It's like it's not real- like he's still in danger, and in some ways he is. He's part of this world now- this supernatural world I tried so hard to keep him out of, and his life is always going to be in danger and I can't take it. That's why I'm crying. Or maybe because I wasn't there to protect him- even though I swore to myself I would, especially after becoming an alpha, especially after Claire took our parents from us- took everything. And I took that power to protect him, and dammit I was going to continue to protect him, and I had failed to do that today.
Or maybe it's because I needed to let it all out while it's safe to- before anyone else sees me, and I have to push my fear and worry down so as not to appear like a loose canon because I can't help anyone as a loose canon- and now that he's safe, for now at least, I can be the loose canon. And it felt good.
It was honestly probably a mix of all three.
So I cried on my best friend's shoulder, and she let me, and I'm pretty sure she was crying too.
-----
It was pouring rain when I stepped outside to find the other alpha. He was standing there, alone, in the middle of the road,soaked to the bone and reeking of sadness.
"Scott?" I called. He turned to me, and smiled faintly. "What's up?"
"Kira left. She needs to find some way to control the fox spirit inside of her." he answered. That makes sense. Of course he's upset about that.
"We broke up."
My heart might've skipped a beat, but try to point it out later, I'll deny it.
"So when is she coming back?" I asked, uneasily, partly because of Kira since we're going to need her and her skill in the upcoming battle sure to happen against the Dread Doctors, but mostly because even though Scott and I had sort of made amends in the tunnels earlier today, if that's what you call being on speaking terms again, amends, and I wasn't sure where I stood in the alpha's mind, and honestly, I wasn't sure how to react to their breakup.
"She doesn't know.." he mumbled. Suddenly, we were inches apart. I brushed a wet lock of blond hair from the side of my face, tucking it behind my ear.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you." I told him sincerely.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you." he countered, not meeting my eyes, and my heart jumped.
"Scott, I-"
"No, Indi, I should be apologizing." he interrupted, because as always, Scott McCall knows everything I'm going to say as soon as I do. "I get it now- it was self defense. You didn't have a choice."
I nodded, slowly, something about the hasty apology sounding sincere, yet not at the same time. Like he was only telling a half truth, or keeping something. Before I could respond, Scott is quick to speak again.
"I'm sorry I didn't protect your brother." he told me, unshed tears in his eyes, Liam's life meaning more than just being my brother to him- Liam, in a way, was his brother too, as weird as that may sound, and this apology wasn't just for me, but for himself too. The guilt was overpowering, the previous conversation forgotten as I immediately sought to comfort him.
"Scott, what I said in the tunnels... it's not your fault." He opened his mouth to protest, but I talked over him. "I was overwhelmed, and upset, and it took it out on you. I know it wasn't your fault- you couldn't- you were trapped in a hallucination. Even if you were with them, the Dread Doctors still would've put you through that, or taken you too." I felt my eyes fill at that realization.
He didn't meet my eyes, instead his dark brown gaze was fixed on his hands that I hadn't even realized I was holding. He swallowed hard before whispering, "I'd rather that, Indi. I just felt so..useless."
Droplets of water flicked around as I shook my head rapidly. "Don't say that, Scott, you don't mean that."
"But I do!" he was shouting a little now over the raindrops pelting the pavement beneath our feet. "I do mean that! If only I had been there with them, or protected them, or even found them- I couldn't save them, Indi! If it hadn't been for Theo, they could be.. they might be.." He couldn't finish that sentence.
It might've been the rain or my tears, I don't know, but I swiped a hand over my eyes, brushing them away. "Scott, please don't say you wish it was you too. Losing Liam to them was terrible, but you too? Scott I.. I don't think I'd be able to handle it."
He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand soothingly, and I'm ninety percent sure the wetness on his cheeks wasn't just from the rain. "Indi, about yesterday.."
"Scott, it's been a long day-"
"Indi, please."
I turned away then, my eyes focusing on various things. Like the mailbox. An old tree down the road. His neighbors' car. I let out a shuddering breath when he moved his grip from my hand to my forearm.And then to my shoulder. And finally to my face.
And oh God, I hadn't realized how much I really really missed Scott McCall's hands on me. His touch- the best form of relief. The fact that it still feels this way- the warm, liquid- love kind of feeling- after all of this time was enough to melt me. I'd spent months away, and they were months of happiness, but I wasn't completely happy-not without my friends. Not without Scott.
"Indi, I.... I love you."
I was one hundred percent sure that they were tears now. I covered his hand on my cheek with my own, slowly pulling his fingers from my face.
"Indi-"
"Do you love her?"
He seemed to be pondering which "her" I was referring to, which should've spoke volumes to me, but it didn't- I waited.
"I'll always have a special place in my heart for Allison. And I know you'll always have one for Isaac- even if it didn't turn out great. But with you Indi, I'm in control. I feel better than I ever did with her- and Kira. With you I feel whole. I love Allison-but not like I love you. The way I feel with you is different than I ever felt with her- I love you."
"I meant Kira, Scott!"I shouted a little to be heard over the storm. "Your ex- girlfriend you literally broke up with two minutes ago!"
"I... I don't know how I feel with Kira."
"So she was a rebound, then?"
"No! Of course not- I liked her- I really did. I don't... I don't love her, though. Not like you. Not like Allison."
I stayed silent after that. I didn't know if I could be with Scott again.
"Indi, please. I love you- I really do. And yesterday, when that happened-"
"You betrayed Kira! We betrayed Kira, and Theo, and then each other! You- you still had a girlfriend, and I had whatever with Theo, and then we said horrible things and I.. I can't Scott. I can't do that to Kira!"
Even if she did it to me.
"If it's really Kira you're worried about, she wasn't even really my girlfriend, we just went on a few dates-"
"-That's basically what a girlfriend is, and besides, that doesn't make it right!"
"I know! But you can't stand there are admonish me when I know you feel the same way!" he shouts. Then, his voice drops to a whisper. "You know you do. I know you do. You just won't admit it."
I don't answer. In the middle of his speech I let the tears brimming my eyes fall.
"And it's not about Theo, or Kira, or Allison, or the fight..." he whispers, leaning even closer until our noses are practically touching.
"You're scared." he admits quietly. "But you shouldn't be. Things- things won't fall apart this time-"
"That's what you said last time! And the time before that, remember? You told me- you promised me- things would be different. Things wouldn't fall apart. But they did! They always will!"
"They won't! Not again! Never again!" his voice becomes desperate. "I'm not letting you go again, Indi Dunbar. Never again."
And then our lips connect.