brittany's point of view
shining star comes out in two days and santana is really on edge.
she deleted all posts on twitter and instagram and changed her username to 'santanaaa'. she posted the promo for her song, i posted it, rachel and quinn posted it, blaine posted it, and sotheby's rest of our friends and family posted it. when republic record posted it, she went from two thousand follower to four thousand, then five thousand, and now she's a 6.1k.
you know when you hear about a new celebrity or artist you look them up to see what they're about? yeah. well they found the sex tape.
and they weren't happy.
i secretly think that's why she has so many followers.
so, our tape was floating around, which also gave me some fame because everyone wanted to know who the blonde was. so my thousand went up to two thousand. but, thankfully, they were able to hide the tape and people no longer think we're porn stars who are trying to make it in the music business.
anyways, back to santana being on edge. she's always on her phone, looking at what people are saying about the promos. you would think that santana lopez wouldn't give a shit about something mean that's written by a nobody and you're right, but she still likes to see what they're saying.
santana's on edge is different than ours. or hers is different than mine.
in the last three weeks we tried having sex once and while it was happening i wasn't getting anything from santana. no emotion, no sound, no nothing. her eyes were just closed and every since then we haven't been intimate.
when she's on edge, she doesn't exactly feel...sexy? i don't know if that's how you explain it. she doesn't like to hug or kiss or cuddle of do anything that's close to intimate because she doesn't feel like herself. she didn't have to tell me this. i just know.
there's plenty other signs of her being on edge but i don't wanna bore you with the details and that's probably the biggest one.
i don't like going to sleep without telling santana goodnight or knowing that she's in the house. it's almost twelve at night and santana's been out all day preparing for friday.
the song comes out 12 a.m. friday morning, so i'm gonna surprise her thursday night with our own release party. her parents and abuela are flying in and they're gonna stay with us for the weekend.
lady tubbington is very slick. she's much smaller than lord so she can hide under the bed and behind couches and she's always near santana. she likes me but she loves tana.
right as soon as she gets home, lady follows her around everywhere. to the bathroom when she showers, to the kitchen when she cooks, in the living room when she watches tv, and in the bed when we go to sleep. it's not a problem because it's not like we're having sex.
what if santana doesn't love me anymore? what if our love has completely died down? things have just been so different between us and i hardly see her. i just miss being the santana and brittany from high school. we're no longer in the honeymoon stage and now i feel like we've been married for a long time when it's only been four months.
is it over for us? not relationship over but cute over? like, are we done being young? *gasps* are we adults?
the front door open and lady looks up at me before jumping off the bed to greet tana.
"my baby! how are you?" i hear santana ask from the kitchen
a few minutes later, santana walks in the bedroom with lady in her arms.
"hey," she says as she drops lady on the bed, "i'm gonna take a shower."
i bite down on my bottom lip, "can i join you?"
she looks back at me and smiles, "no, i'm really tired. it's gonna be an in and out thing."
lady tubbington goes into the bathroom with her and i automatically feel jealous. i wanna sit in the bathroom while she showers. ugh.
"so," santana says as she walks out the bathroom in a sports bra and underwear, "how was your day?"
"it was good," i say while looking at her stomach, "are you hungry?"
"no, blaine and i had a late lunch."
"you and blaine have been hanging out a lot outside of music. are you cheating on me?" i ask, only half joking
she laughs as she gets under the blanket, "i use to think that it wasn't possible for someone like me and someone like him to get along but he's not that bad. i would never say this to his face but he's really talented."
"how was your day?" i ask and she shrugs
"long. we all just want shining star to be great."
"and it will be."
"we'll see." santana shrugs
i turn on my side and face santana. i look at her while she's on her phone. she looks at me out the corner of her eye and licks her bottom lip.
"what's wrong?" she asks without looking at me
"are we still in love?" i ask and she furrows her eyebrows
"what do you mean?" she asks and she places her phone down to give me all of her attention
"like..." i close my eyes, realizing that i sound dumb and i'm reaching for an argument, "never mind."
"no, tell me. what's wrong?" she asks, her voice really soft which only makes me softer
"you still love me, right?"
"are you fucking with me, britt? cause if you are can you tell me?" santana asks
"i'm being serious, santana. we got married four months ago and it feels like we've been married for years," i say and santana sits up and so do i, "i sound dumb never mind."
"you don't sound dumb, but i feel like we had this talk before."
"i hardly see you and we don't even do what we use to do."
"sex?" she asks and i nod my head slowly, "brittany, if you wanna have sex we can have sex. it's not a problem."
"but do you wanna have sex? last time we had sex you were out of it."
santana bites down on her bottom and straddles me. she places her hands on my shoulders and smiles.
"then let's do it now. i'm all yours."
"now it feels forced."
"what do you want from me?" santana giggles
"i want you, santana. i just..." i let out a deep breath, "i want things to be how it was in high school. when seeing you every morning at your locker and walking with you to class and lunch, and then going to cheer and rehearsal with you were the highlights of my day. and then after school we would go over to each other's house and make out for hours before doing our homework and we would go to breadstix every friday for date night. and we would text all night and facetime as we got ready for school, but we can't be like that because we're married and out of the honeymoon stage and adults. we're fucking adults, santana."
"yeah, we are britt, but that doesn't mean we still can't be like that," santana says before letting out a deep breath, "i mean, we can't make our for hours but we can still make out and i would rather be married to you and wake up next to you every morning instead of texting."
"so, we're still in love? and in the honeymoon stage?"
"brittany, i love you so much i can't put it into words. i can only show you by doing other things," she says and she squeezes my shoulders lightly, "and i don't think we'll ever get out of the honeymoon stage."
she presses her lips against mine and her hands slide down from my shoulders down to my stomach. she applies pressure telling me to lay down and i do. i slide my hands up and down her back and i feel something nip at my arm causing me to pull back.
i look to the side and see lady looking at the both of us. i roll my eyes and santana laughs as she gets off of me to hold lady in her lap.
"i'm sorry," i say as i take lady away from her, "but i just want thirty minutes with you."
"be gentle with her." santana says as i place her in the bathroom and quickly close the door so that she can't escape
"i love you," i say before kissing her on the cheek, "and i love your lips," i say before kissing them, "i love that little dimple in your right cheek that shows when you smile. i love your boobs. like, in love with them. you have really great tits," i say and she laughs, "and i love your laugh even though you hate it, and the... you know what?" i ask and she raises her eyebrows, "i love all of you. every inch- - no, every centimeter."
"now we're having sex."
*
"she's coming!" blaine whisper yells as he walks past me and into the living room
i smile and turn off all the lights. i head her unlocking the door and then opens the door.
"surprise!" we all yell when she turns on the kitchen lights
she definitely shocked. she looks at me and smiles and then her eyes land on her abuela and her smile gets bigger.
"oh, my god! what are you guys doing here?" she asks as she hugs them
"you're song comes out in..." blaine looks at his watch, "three hours and we all wanted to be here when it happens."
"babe," santana says as she pulls me into a hug, "did you do all this?"
"yeah, i wanted to surprise you."
she kisses me on the cheek, "i wish you would've told me."
"then it wouldn't of been a surprise."
i don't know if you've noticed but quinn and rachel are in a very toxic relationship. they're constantly fighting and quinn can't take it anymore. i can tell.
they're both here and i think they drove together but they're on opposite sides of the house. rachel's with kurt, blaine, and santana in the living room and quinn's here in the kitchen with me, abuela, and santana's parents.
"are you okay?" i whisper to her and she shrugs, "wanna talk about it?"
quinn looks at me and nods her head. her eyes fill with tears and i pull her by her arm to my bedroom. santana looks at us and i nod my head, telling her to follow.
turns out, rachel has been texting jessie st. james, her ex from sophomore year. not friendly text, like talking text but they still managed to keep it friendly. now quinn doesn't know what to do because she loves rachel but she doesn't know if rachel loves her.
"you know what?" santana says as she hands quinn a tissue, "you're staying with us tonight."
quinn shakes her head, "i can't. your family is staying and i don't wanna intrude."
"you're family," i say and santana nods, "you can sleep in here with us."
"i can't."
"you can and you will. you need a break and you can take a break here for as long as you need." santana says in a very serious tone
"santana, come out here so we can count down." blaine says after popping his head in. santana nods and he closes the door
santana looks at me and then at quinn, "i never liked you and rachel together. it was cute at first but something tells me that rachel isn't..."
"into girls." i finish for her
"right. you were more like an experiment." santana says and i nod
"but she told me she loved me." quinn says and tears fall down her face
"there was honestly only one person you truly loved." santana says and she glances at me
"puck," quinn whispers and i look down, "it will always be puck."
"maybe you were experimenting, too." i suggest and she shakes her head
"no, she's definitely bi," santana laughs, "i've known since shue's wedding with us in the..."
"we got it, santana." i say a bit too quickly
"i just wanna talk to her," quinn says as she runs a hand through her hair, "just a conversation."
"of course, but you are staying here tonight for a sleepover because you need a break." i say
"yeah, and you're always there for us when we're having our problems, so we're gonna be here for you." santana says and quinn smiles
"i love you guys." quinn says as we get off the bed. we laugh and pull each other into a group hug
i look at the time on my phone and my eyes widen.
"shining star comes out in one minute."
we rush out of the room and see everyone in the living room sitting in front of the tv. santana sits next to her abuela on the couch and wraps her arm around her. i stand next to blaine and kurt and watch the clock on the tv.
"ten!" i yell and santana laughs
"eight! seven! six! five! four! three! two! one!"
we all yell and clap because today shining star is officially out. santana laughs and throws her hands in the air.
blaine's phone is connected to the tv and he plays her song. we all shut up and listen to it and it's amazing. santana didn't want me to hear the final version until today and i'm glad i waited.
"this song is amazing, santana." rachel says and santana forces a smile
"amazing is an understatement." kurt says
"i couldn't do it without blaine," she says as she stands up and throws an arm over his shoulder, "he did everything he can to make sure this song was perfect and was me."
"we're all buying that shit right now." artie says and we all pull our phones out to buy her song
in the groupchat, puck, who couldn't make it, sends in a screenshot of shining star playing and they all start explaining how great the song is.
the song was on repeat for the rest of the time. everyone started to leave around two. rachel left with kurt and blaine, leaving quinn here with us.
"we are so proud of you, mija." mr. lopez says as quinn and i set up the blow up mattress for them
santana gives quinn something to sleep in and she goes into the bathroom to change.
"i'm so proud of you." i say to santana and i wrap my arms around her waist
she smiles and presses her lips against mine, but she pulls away when quinn walks out. i guess i won't be getting any.
"do you guys want me to leave so that you guys can..." quinn asks as she gets on our bed
"no, you're the guest." santana says as she pulls away from me
"right, so we'll leave." i say and santana smacks her lips
"and go where?" she asks
"i don't know. to the car?" i ask and she shakes her head
"i am not having sex in the car."
i laugh, "not to have sex. to make out."
quinn laughs and we both look at her with furrowed eyebrows.
"we'll be in the kitchen." santana says as she pulls me out of the room and quinn nods
her parents and abuela are already sleep in living room which means we have to be quiet.
"you said you wanna make out like the old santana and brittany so...." santana says as she pulls me down on the floor. i lean back against the wall and she straddles me.
she kisses me really softly and i sigh. the kiss is soft and slow and sweet. i place my hands on her lower back and she places hers on my stomach. lady nips at my arm and i pull away. santana laughs and places lady in between us.
"we're, like, a little family." i whisper as i scratch lady's head
"britt," santana says and i look up at her, "i love you."
i smile, "i love you, too."
"and i think i'm ready to have a baby...now."