A wave of paralysis takes over my body, starting at my feet. I flinch as she takes a step closer to me. She stops as she notices my confusion. I'm speechless. She furrows her brows at me as she brings her foot into her other, standing across the room from me.
"H-how?" I manage to croak out. "Wha... what did you say?"
She runs towards me, wrapping her arms around me in a tight embrace. My arms lay limply by the sides of my body. "I can't believe it. I can't believe you're here." She whispers in my ear.
She holds onto me for another moment before placing her hands on my shoulders and pushing me away from her gently. A sudden sense of urgency in her voice, panic in her eyes, she was trying to spit out what she had to say as fast as she could, almost tripping over her words. "Listen, there's something you need to know."
Still lost in my own thoughts, I completely ignore her. "How do you know my name?" I scan her face, taking in every detail. No recognition, I don't know who she is. She sees me trying to figure her out, she then changes her expression from panic to confusion as well. "Aryah, it's me?"
I study her face again. "Aryah, what happened to you?" her eyes glance over my shoulder and her face falls, taking a step back away from me. I turn around to see Ria standing in the doorway, leaning on the frame. She raises an eyebrow as an ear to ear smile grows on her face. "Woah! cut the tension in here, am I right?" She says as she nudges my arm with her elbow before stopping in between myself and the small girl. She places her hands on her hips and looks back and forth between us a few times. "So this is awkward." She looks to me. "Anyways, Damien and I are done. I'm sure you'd like to see him." Her voice is honeyed, sweet, but fake. She ends it with rolling her eyes, confirming my suspicion.
I Ignore her, look back to the small girl. "Oh, u-um yeah. I should go see him." I internally panic as I don't feel ready to face this. I turn to walk out of the room. "Aryah, wait!" She reaches out to me. I look over my shoulder as she takes a few quick steps towards me but Ria walks in front of her, standing in the way. I stare for a moment and then exit the room.
"What the fuck do you think your doing." Ria whips her head to the girl, shoving her back. "I-I-" She begins to speak. "No. I should have killed you when I had the chance." She grabs the collar of her shirt, twisting it and bringing her towards her, whispering in her ear. "You don't know how lucky you are that the prince was there in the forest."
"W-wait please, I-I wo...n't..." Her voice begins to cut out. She grabs her throat in response to her lack of voice. Ria looked strangely happy with the result.
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I run down the stairs and through the main hall, not noticing Morgan had been standing to the side. "Hey babe!" She calls out to me. I stop in my tracks and turn around the face her, panic filling my face. "If anyone asks, please tell them I went to take a nap and I do not want to be disturbed." Her face twists in confusion. "Please Morgan, don't let Damien bother me." I say specifically. "I just need some time to myself." She nods at me lightly and I burst through the front doors. She stares at the door for a few moments, contemplating going after me.
"Hey, have you seen Aryah?" His voice takes her out of her thoughts. She whips her head to the opposite side and sees Damien standing in the arched doorway. She gulps the lump in her throat. Conflicted. She had never lied to Damien, nor did she ever want to. He was her prince afterall, royalty. "Yeah, she just walked that way." her voice hoarse. "She said she's not feeling well, shes going to take a nap. She wants to be left alone." She clears her throat. He scoffs and raises an eyebrow, he doesn't care if I want to be alone. "I'll go check on her." He begins to walk towards the stairs. Morgan jumps in front of him. "No!" She throws up her hands to stop him. He furrows his brows and widens his eyes. "Calm down, what the hell is your problem?" She takes a step back and lowers her hands. "Sorry, she just seemed really adamant about being alone."
He tilts his head, analyzing her expression for any deception. Finally he shrugs. "I guess I'll go back to training." He turns to the front door and walks out. Morgan takes a heavy sigh.
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I throw myself through the front doors and sprint towards the forest. I wanted to get out of sight as quickly as I could. I didn't want anyone to follow me. No, I was not running away, I needed air, gasping for it. My chest tightens as my lungs constrict. I ran, and I ran for as long as I could, pushing my way through the trees until finally I stop. I place my hand on an ancient tree, hunching over and breathing heavily, catching my breath. My body was numb.
Have you ever felt like screaming your frustrations out, when you know no one was able to hear you? That's how I felt in this moment. I wanted to be in my own space. I became overwhelmed with frustration. I needed to know who I was and I was sick of being completely clueless. I felt lost and meeting that girl was what pushed me over the edge.
I take a deep breath in, letting it out in the loudest scream I could possibly rip from my chest. My throat pangs as it constricts. My breathing becomes heavier, taking in short breaths. I scream again, shorter this time, not able to hold it.
I took myself deep into this forest. I was able to cry and scream without judgement. I could feel the anger and frustration slowly lift from my shoulders.
"Why... why can't I remember! Wake the fuck up! What the hell is wrong with... with..." I say this as my hands grip the hair on my head. Tears begin flowing from my eyes, I scrunch them shut and let out a loud groan. I open my eyes to see my tears seeping into the ground. I allow myself to collapse, letting go of my remaining strength. My heartbeat fast and my anger building again. My hands lay lifelessly beside me. I look down to my right hand and glide it across the dirt. I do this a few times before grabbing onto a long weed tickling my leg. I rip it out and whip it to the side. I look around and grab onto another one and doing the same, until I am in a rampage of anger, ripping up the ground, throwing plants and dirt; Anything my hands could pick up.
As exhaustion soon aches through my arms and the vegetation around me is successfully destroyed, I fall backwards onto my back. I give in to my hysteria, no longer able to hold it in, sobbing. I lie there for some time, weeping in my own madness.
My eyes follow the branches as my breath stutters. Every bend, every curve, leading up to the leaves that flow so beautifully in the gentle breeze, allowing little sprinkles of the sun to shine through.
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Damien throws a towel around his neck and takes a deep breath as he walks down the hallway. He reaches for the door handle, about to shower in another room, thinking he did not want to disturb me; but instead he pauses, looking down the hall to his room, the door closed, the daylight shining from underneath into the hallway.
He lets go of the door knob and turns, standing still, pondering if he should check on me. It had been hours since I said I wanted to be alone.
He begins walking towards the bedroom door, keeping his eyes on the knob. As he approaches, he leans his head against the door for any sign of me still sleeping.
"Damien!" He whips his head around to see Morgan standing awkwardly in front of him. He raises an eyebrow at her and turns around fully waiting for her to say something.
"W-what's up...?" She gives him a crooked smile. He furrows his brows at her. She grabs onto his wrist, pulling him away from the door. He rips his hand away from her and she swiftly, switches sides with him, now closer to the bedroom than him. He rolls his eyes. "Get out of my way Morgan." He says with frustration as his lips move into a frown. "I-I, uh..." He pushes her aside before she is able to finish her sentence.
"WAIT!" She yells out at him, reaching for his arm but stumbling instead. "Shit" She says under her breath.
He quickly makes his way to the door and knocking. "Aryah? It's me, are you in there?"
Nothing.
Morgan grabs onto his shoulder and he shrugs her off as he turns the door knob and whips the door open. He freezes, scanning the room. He takes a step in to see the bathroom door was open and the light was off. Morgan is paralyzed behind him.
"Morgan..." He says eerily quiet and thick.
Her body tenses as he says her name, not able to take her eyes off of him. Scared of what he may do. He turns to her slowly, his jaw clenched.
"Damien, I-I..." She boldy speaks out. He slams the door shut, which makes her flinch.
He takes a step towards her, her feet don't move but she leans back in response. As her eyes meet his, her eyes widen and her mouth gapes open. His eyes were a dark blue, his iris expanding. "How dare you lie to me." He spits through his gritted teeth like shards of glass. "Have you forgotten what I am capable of?" He tilts his chin down, his shoulders rising and falling sharply.
"N-no! I..." Her voice croaks out, barely a whisper.
"If something happened to her Morgan, I will gladly remind you."
He shoves past her as her body tightens, mouth gaped open and inhales a sharp breath. She whips her head around and he was already gone. She throws out her breath that she didn't realize she had been holding onto.
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My tears slow down, allowing a few last tears to trickle down my face. I lie there numb. I needed this. I felt relieved. My mind begins to calm and I wonder how long I've laid here for.
"Aryah!?" Cain's face pops into my vision, blocking the sun from my face, hovering over me. He looks at me baffled. "What are you doing out here? You're almost by the border."
My mind empty of thoughts. I don't even care. My tear stained face, swollen. I drag myself up from the ground and turn to Cain. "Aryah..." He says sympathetically as he reaches over, pulling a few leaves from my hair and brushing me off. "What happened?"
I don't have the effort in me to pull out my voice, I just look up at him. He's observing my face. I'm sure I looked rough. "Aryah, I know-" I cut him off. "No, You don't know Cain. Nobody knows. I don't know, you don't know, Nobody knows!" I yell, the rage building in me again. He's taken aback by my reaction. I'm sure not many people have spoken to him like this before and gotten away with it.
He closes his mouth into a thin line. "Why did you come here?" He changes the direction of our conversation. I look at the ground. "That girl, she knew my name. I just became overwhelmed, I guess. I needed to get away, I needed to be alone." I shrug lightly.
"She knew your name?" He leans in slightly as if he didn't hear me. I nod.
He sighs, knowing not to go into detail about it right now. "Aryah, it's not safe here."
"I don't even care. I've been here so long and I haven't even reached the brink of a break through." I look up to him again. "I just want to disappear."
"Everyone at the house..." He begins his comforting words but I cut him off. "Everyone at the house pity's me."
"Aryah, these people care about you, whether you see it or not." He clears his throat. "I... I care about you." He reaches out his hand, brushing the hair from my face and holding onto the back of my head. "God you are so beautiful." He places his forehead to mine, holding his place for a moment before leaning in. I could feel his breath on my lips. My eyes search his face as his stare at my lips. I could feel his lips brush against mine. As if someone turned a light on in my mind, I realize how uncomfortable I am with this. I place my hands on his chest and shove him away from me. He takes a few sloppy steps back, his eyes darting around as if he had come to the realization as well. "What are you doing?" I whisper.
I-I'm so sorry. I had..." he clears his throat. "A moment of weakness." He inhales sharply.
He shakes off his lack of confidence in that moment and quickly gains it back. He approaches me again but doesn't touch me. I look at the ground, nervous. "Look at me." He says sternly. I glance up at him hesitantly. He searches my eyes for a moment. "Your eyes remember who you are, they seem to know more than you." My face twists in confusion. "What do you mean?" He brushes the side of my face with the back of his fingertips, taking off some dirt on my face.
"Damien is the one you should hear it from." He whispers as he drops his hand. I roll my eyes. "I guess I'm used to hearing that by now." He chuckles. "Let's go home."
"Wait." I grab his forearm before he turns. "What were you doing here?"
He shrugs. "Madilyn and I were doing our regular rounds when I saw you. I told her to go home and tell Damien you were fine. I assume he's worried."
My eyes widen. "He's going to kill me!" I burst through Cain and begin sprinting through the forest. He watches me momentarily before chasing after me. "Wait!" I hear him yell from behind but I continued on anyways.