My heart starts to thump as Jack and I walk hand in hand towards the entrance of the school. I haven't spoken to Jess since the encounter at the mall and it's making me feel nervous. I don't really know what she may have remembered about me that she saw and well....... I just have some questions to ask her. I tried texting her or calling her but she never answered. A part of me hurts because she was probably the first person I got along with when I first came to this school and now she probably hates my guts. I'm crossing my fingers that she'll tell me what she saw and maybe when can talk this out.
Like always as we walk into school a bunch of stares look our way. It's becoming a regular thing these past few weeks, ever since Jack and I started to go out. I don't know why people think it's nice to just stare at two everyday teenagers holding hands while walking. Like isn't it normal?...............Well not if you're the girl of the towns bad boy, who, may I remind you, doesn't date...... making me his first girl. As we make our way towards our first class, we meet up with Molly and Theo and everything seems to be fine so far. I'm sure Molly told Theo what happened at the mall, but both of them act like it was nothing and it's starting to bother me.
"You okay? You seem a bit distant" Jack asked holding me back before walking into class. We stand facing each other and I can see the concern swimming in his eyes.
"Yeah, I was just thinking about what happened at the mall the other day," I said, looking at him. He takes both of my hands in his and kisses them each.
"You know I'm always here if you need someone to talk to, right? I love you and I hate seeing you anything but happy" He said, staring into my eyes, straight to my soul.
"I know. And I really appreciate that babe, thanks" I said, giving his hand a little squeeze. He smiles back and kisses my forehead, his lips lingering there.
"Come on, let's get to class," I said before he pulls away and I lead us into class just before a woman in her thirties enters behind us, making me think we have a supply.
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"Hey, Jess! Jess wait-......" I call her name as I spot her in the hallway coming out of the bathroom between second and third periods. She doesn't answer me but I'm certain she can hear me due to the weird looks everyone throws at me.
"Can we talk?" I ask her once I jog up to catch up with her.
"What is there to talk about?" She asks like I'm the clueless person in the world.
"What did you mean when we were at the mall?" I blurt out, instantly slapping myself for getting straight to the point. I should have at least eased into it instead of just pushing her like that. She wasn't even talking to you, what makes you think she'll talk about it?, I tell myself.
She immediately stops walking and the people behind us almost bang into us. I hear some of them swear as none of them tell us to our face on why we just randomly stopped for no reason. Again, another perk of being the bad boy's girl or in this case, for Jess, a friend.
"Oh come on, Vic! Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about" Jess said, looking straight into my eyes.
"No, I genuinely don't know what you're talking about," I said to her, genuinely not understanding what she means.
She rolls her eyes at me before sighing, "The killing? The guns?...... Ring a bell in that psychotic brain of yours"
That's when my eyes widen, and the puzzle fits together. "B-but-"
"I knew it," she said, shaking her head and walking away.
"Wait.... wait," I said going after her. I grab her arm to stop her and she snaps her head towards her, making me think if she hurt her neck after whipping it to face me.
"Don't touch me" She said, angrily. I immediately let go of her and she starts to walk away.
"Wait... Jess!" I call, following her. She doesn't answer and I call her again, getting her to face me.
"Can you just let me explain? Please? It wasn't me back then, alright? I was... different and reckless. I've changed, I'm not that person anymore" I explained, trying to get back on her good side.
"I don't care if you 'were' a different person back then. All I care about is when are you gonna tell the others? When are you gonna tell them who you really are, huh? When are you gonna tell them that you're a manipulative, reckless bitch?" She said, making me take a step back, those words sinking into me.
She drops her voice lower so only I can hear it, "The only reason I didn't tell them was because I knew that it wouldn't be right if it came from me. And that's the last respect I have for you Vic. If you refuse to tell them, I will" She said before walking away and heading to class.
I stand there, letting the words she just said sink in. Maybe she's right? Maybe she really is right? What if I am a manipulative and reckless bitch? I start to feel my eyes water up and I head straight to the bathroom. Luckily no one was there to see me as streams start to pool down my face. After everything I went through.... after everything I've tried to forget about, after moving to a place where I could start fresh...... all of it comes back to me and starts to become overwhelming. Jess was right, I should tell them. They deserve to know but I don't know how I should tell them. After all the kindness each and every one of them showed me,....... little did they know their friend kept a secret from them. Jess is so fucking right that they should know.
The image of Jack pops into my head and I start to sob. I grab fists of my hair with both my hands, tugging on them. I start to breathe heavily and I can't stop the tears. The bell rings but I'm too frustrated and angry to care. I need to tell them what happened before it's too late. I can't lose more people that I care about. However, I know for sure that I'm not ready to tell them yet. I not comfortable to talk about something that I regret so much in my life and it hurts and makes me scared that I may never be able to. Resulting to not only lose my friends and my boyfriend but also maybe myself for letting them go.
"Vic? You in there?" I hear a familiar girl's voice say as the door opens. I look towards it and see a blurry red-headed figure coming towards me. I quickly wipe the tears away and see that it's Molly. She extends her arms and wraps them around my shaking and sobbing body. I don't protest and lean into her.
"Sshhhh........ it's okay.......it's okay" She said, patting my head with one hand and rubbing my back with the other. My body shakes as my sobs become heavier.
"You want to talk about it? Or just ditch class and go home?" She asks once my breathing has slowed and the tears somewhat stopped.
I shake my head, "I can't my mom's working from home"
"Okay, you wanna skip the day? Hang out at mine? My mom's never home" She suggests as we both slowly pull away. I nod and she wipes the remaining tears off my face.
We both slowly make our way out of the washroom and towards her car. I stumble a little bit however Molly grabs tighter into my arm to stop me from completely eating the hard floor. Molly opens the door and I practically fall into the seat. I lean my head against the backrest and look up at the ceiling taking a moment to close my eyes and compose myself as much as I can. Molly comes in and she turns on the car and before we know it we're on the road heading to her house.
A few moments of silence follow as we sit the car. I'm glad she not asking too many questions about why I was crying and I'm very grateful for that. That's something I love about Molly; she knows when to be nosy and when to not be.
"High school musical?" She asks as she hovers over the play button on her phone. I nod and a small smile creeps up to my face.
"Only if you promise to sing at the top of your lungs with me," She said, glancing at me with a smile.
I playfully roll my eyes and I reluctantly nod my head. She presses play and 'Breaking Free' starts to play as we both start to sing along. My eyes widen at how angelic Molly's voice sounds. I start to feel somewhat self-conscious about my terrible voice. But she turns towards me, her hand faking to hold a microphone as the chorus comes along and makes me feel a little bit better.
Once we get to her house she suggests that I take a nice long bath to take some time to think about stuff and have a little 'me' time. Molly lead us up to her room and started the bath as I sat on her bed admiring her perfect room. I've been here before but every time it feels so new. Everything is so big and so modern that I'm just not really accustomed to it yet. I look around her light pink room with a giant window on the left side of the wall, pink curtains covering it. Everything in her room is either pink or white. I touch her bed and the silky soft pink duvet feels so good under my fingers.
"Okay, your bath is ready your highness" Molly said coming out from the bathroom. "I already have everything in there for you, so don't worry"
"Thanks, M. I really appreciate what you're doing," I said to her as I pass her.
"No problem that's what best friends are for. Plus we still need to talk a little bit after" she said, smiling. I smile back at her before walking into the bathroom.
As I enter through the gigantic white doors, the citrus smell surrounds itself around me. The huge bathtub that sits in the corner draws my attention. White fluffy bubbles fill it as a little wooden slate sits across from it with an iPad already set up on Netflix on it with a face cloth folded beside it. A few candles sit around the bathtub making it the source of the amazing smell.
"Everything good?" Molly asks from behind me. I turn around to find her leaning against the door frame a smile on her face.
"Yeah, it's perfect," I said. "Thank you again, Molly"
She smiles and tells me that after I taken my time in the bath to walk over to her closet and pick anything I want before closing the doors and leaving the room. I thank her again for the hundredth time today before returning my attention back to the glorious bathroom.
Beside the bathtub is a glass shower with the shower head hanging on the roof and a little bench in it. The wall in between the bathtub and shower hangs a white robe with a towel around it. On the other side is a large counter coming out from the shower all the way around to allow a large sink. A few small towels hang from the metal ring things that attach to the counter along with multiple draws and shelves underneath. I can't help but wish that I had this amazing bathroom.
I start to strip down of my clothes and throw them into a pile a few metres away before hopping into the warm bath. The water surrounds me and my body starts to relax. I start to scroll through Netflix before deciding to put on an episode of 'The Vampire Diaries'.
'Sometimes making your self is a priority once in a while is okay. It's not selfish. It's necessary'
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