I run my finger along the bristly stitches as I stand in front of the mirror. Its been a week since they were put in and they seem to be healing nicely. The bruising on my face seems to be almost gone but my eye is still black and blue. At least its no longer swollen. I put on a t-shirt and head down stairs.
In the last week things have been different without Karen around, she isn't coming back for another week... by that time hopefully I heal more and don't have much to explain. Alice hasn't said anything to her but she's been avoiding me... as much as I wish she wouldn't, its probably a good thing. I break the corner and enter the kitchen.To my surprise, There she is having lunch.
"Alice... hey."
She looks up, I can tell she feels awkward.
"Jack...what's up."
"I Just came down for some food."
"Oh... yea... well um...I'm about done eating."
Her plate is half empty. She gets up and heads toward the fridge "Alice... wait..."
she pauses, her back turned to me.
"I know you're avoiding me... I just... can we talk, I'm sorry first of all... secondly, thank you for not saying anything and lastly I just wish things were different and you didn't have to see me like that..."
She stands there for some moments...I hope she turns around. She doesn't. She walks to the fridge, puts her remaining food in and heads back to her room. I sigh, I really messed up.
***
My head hurts, in the past week I'd been experiencing loss of balance and throwing up every morning. The concussive symptoms are inescapable. Physical pain is easy to deal with but the emotional pain of that loss will stay with me. I get flashes of bulldog slamming his fists on to me, I remember almost everything before I was knocked out. I thought I had it but I didn't. I won't ever let myself go through that again. I don't care if I havr to train every single day from now to my next fight. I need to win.