Brittany's Point of View
*
just landed
I'll be at your mom's house in an hour
okay
*
I'm so tired. I just wanna go home and go to sleep, but Santana wants me to come by her mom's house to do I don't know what.
I ring the doorbell and wait for someone to open the door. Christmas is in two days and we decided on spending it in Ohio.
Santana's mom opens the door and she smiles when she sees me.
"Brittany," she says as she pulls me in a hug, "How are you?"
"Hi Mrs. Lopez." I say, trying to sound as happy as possible
"Come in. Santana's in the kitchen."
The house is packed with people I do and don't recognize. I stop and say hey to her dad and abuela who are in the living room talking to other people.
The kitchen is where all the young ones go and, if I'm not mistaken, Santana is the youngest out of her cousins. I think the oldest is like 29.
At first I couldn't point her out because I forgot she dyed her hair blonde. She looks away from the girl sitting next to her and at me. A big smile on her face appears.
"Hey," She says as she walks up to me. She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me into a hug. She pulls back and gives me a strange look, "Whats wrong?"
"Nothing," I say before pecking her lips, "I'm gonna go make me some coffee."
I grab the cream out of the fridge and walk it over to the coffee maker. I pop one of the coffee cups into the maker and press start. As I'm standing here waiting, Santana stands next to me. She slides her hand under my shirt and rubs my back.
"What's wrong?" She asks quietly
"I'm just a little tired."
"Go lay down in my bed."
"I don't wanna do that with all these people here."
Santana rolls her eyes, "They won't care. If you need to go to sleep then go to sleep."
"No, babe, I'm fine."
Santana bites down on her bottom lip, trying to figure out if I'm lying or telling the truth.
"I don't want you to feel like you have to be here." She says as I begin to make my coffee
I laugh, "It's fine, Santana."
"When you say my government name in a sentence then I know something's wrong."
I look at her and laugh. She takes the cream and puts it back in the fridge before pulling me into the living room where mostly everyone is. We stand in front of the TV and everyone looks at us. Especially this one girl with light brown hair and tanned skin. I don't think I've ever seen her.
"Most of you may know that this is my wife, Brittany, and that we got married in September." Santana says and I take a sip of my coffee
"Yeah, um, didn't our invitation get lost in the mail?" someone asks and Santana laughs
"I know that most of you weren't able to come because of timing, but I have asked all of you to come here today to watch the taping of our wedding. This is the one time of the year where almost everyone is together and I really want you guys to be apart of this."
The TV behind me flickers and I turn around and see a picture of Santana and I and the title reads "Brittana Wedding." I laugh before drinking more coffee that needs more sugar.
I sit down on the couch next to the girl with light brown hair. I sit the coffee down on the floor before pulling my phone out.
"It must be weird," the girl says and I give her a confused look, "Santana's wife and first love together in the same place."
"I'm sorry. Did you say first love?"
"Yeah," she nods her head and a smile forms on her face, "I'm Zoey. I'm surprised Santana never told you about me."
"Yeah, especially since you were her first love." I say, trying not to laugh
Oof. Who does this bitch think she is? Telling me that she was Santana's first love when everyone else knows that I'm playing three roles; the first love, the last love, and the wife. But it is weird that Santana never told me. Part of me wants to dig but another part of me wants to sleep.
"So, you and Santana...."
"Dated," She says, finishing my sentence, "Not publicly but we still had something in our bedrooms."
I cringe at what she just said and try to not to say something really mean. I mean, she's definitely not ugly but the things she's saying is kind of making me not like her. You don't say things like that to someone's wife.
Santana sits in between us and looks at both of us with confused looks.
"I see you guys have met." Santana says more like a question
"Yeah, I was just telling her about all the fun times we had before I moved away." Zoey says and I roll my eyes
"Stop before she files for divorce," Santana says and Zoey laughs. Santana looks at me and places her hand on my leg, "You sure you don't want to go to sleep?"
"Actually," I say as I pick the mug up, "I think I'm just gonna go home."
"What happened?" Santana asks as I stand up
"Nothing I'm just really tired," I say before bending down and kissing her on the cheek, "I'll talk to you later."
I say bye to everyone else before walking into the kitchen and leaving the empty mug in the sink. As I'm walking towards the front door, Santana jumps in front of me.
"What happened? And don't give me a bullshit ass answer."
"I promise you, I'm just really tired."
Santana shakes her head, "If you were tired then you would've just went to my room but you're going to your parent's house because something happened."
"It's just been a really long day and I wanna sleep. That's all."
She looks up at me with her dark brown eyes and frowns.
"Brittany, you're making me sad because something's obviously wrong and you won't tell me what."
I press my lips against hers before pulling her in for a hug. The one thing I never wanna do is make Santana sad. It makes me sad to see her sad.
"I promise you, Santana, everything is fine. If you want, you can come over when all of this is done." I say and she nods her head. I pull back and press my lips against hers one more time.
Do I say something about Zoey or do I not say anything at all? If I do say something then it'll start an argument but if I don't say anything then I will always wonder about her for the rest of my life.
At one in the morning, my bedroom door opens and then closes. I open my eyes and see Santana taking her clothes off. I turn my lamp on and she looks at me.
"They loved the wedding video," she says as she gets under the covers. She lays on her side and holds her head up with her hand, "But now that we're alone, we can kiss how we want," She presses her lips against mine. Her hand slides up and down my outer leg but she stops when she realizes I'm not kissing her the way she wants me to, "Brittany, what's wrong?"
"Who's Zoey?"
Boom! The start of an argument!
Santana laughs, "What did she tell you?"
"That she was your first love."
She laughs but stops when she sees how serious I am.
"Is this what's bothering you?" She asks and I shrug my shoulders, "Brittany, it was eighth grade. It wasn't real love- - no, it wasn't love at all. It was just my adolescent mind telling me I'm in love. Same thing with Puck. It was all fun and games with the two of them. Everyone knows that you're my first real love," she licks her lips and smiles, "Now, can we please have sex? Because, for some strange reason, I'm really turned on."
"Maybe because you were talking about Zoey."
"I told you it was nothing." She says in her irritated voice
"It had to be something if you never told me about it."
"Do you not trust me?"
"You didn't trust me with Chantel."
"Yeah, because I knew that bitch was gonna try something." Santana clears her throat and gets out of bed
"Where are you going?" I ask her when she starts to put her clothes back on
"You're clearly upset by this, so I'm gonna give you your space," Santana buttons her jeans and looks at me, "If you think you're gonna be able to be around her tomorrow then come to my mom's house around 11 for our Christmas Eve brunch."
Okay, so not a huge argument. Just a little disagreement. Not bad. But she's right. I trust her. I mean, we're married now and it's gonna be harder to break-up.
I show up at her mom's house at 10:30. I wanted to get here early so that I can talk to Santana; to see where we are and how she's acting.
"What happened with you two last night? She left here and then she cam back ten minutes later in a bad mood." Her mom says as I step into the house
I run a hand through my hair and sigh, "A month away from your significant other really changes the whole relationship. Santana and I have to get back in our groove."
It's true. Ever since I left for tour in October things have been weird between us. I just find it really hard to not see her for a month and then come back and act like everything is supposed to fall in place.
I know for a fact that our love hasn't died off, but I know it can if I put everything before her. Santana is and will always be the first thing on my list. I can't focus on anything if I know she's not okay.
I hear the shower running in her when I walk into her bedroom. I take my shoes off and lay on her messy bed. I look around her room and think about all the good times we had in here. From making out to arguing to breaking up to getting back together. Her black walls hold a lot of secrets.
Santana walks out her bathroom with a towel wrapped around and she jumps when she sees me, but she plays it off by walking over to her dresser.
"Are you done trying to start fights?" She asks as she slides on her underwear. I walk over and hook her bra for her. Santana always smells good but she especially smells good after a shower. Smelling good is something she can do without trying.
"I'm fine," I say, as I pull her by her waist to the bed. I sit on the edge and she stands in between my legs, "Are you good?"
"I would be better if my wife would stop worrying about a girl I haven't thought of in almost six years."
"I wouldn't be worrying if you would've told me about her."
"Eight grade, Brittany. How many times do I have to tell you that she wasn't my first love?"
"One more time." I laugh, not being serious
Santana sighs, "Zoey is not my first love. You are. And you are my last."
I smile and kiss all over her stomach. I pull down on her hips and she straddles me. She runs a hand through her hair as she presses her lips against mine. My fingers and palms move up and down her thighs and I can feel how tense she gets when my fingers get close to her center.
I wrap my right arm around her back and turn her onto her back. I lay in between her legs and she wraps her legs around my waist. I start to suck on her neck and she lets out a soft moan.
Then, the door bursts open.
"Sant- oh, shit," Zoey says and Santana and I look over at her, "I'm sorry but your mom said to come down and help set up." After she said that, she stood in the doorway a little bit too long.
When she closes the door I look down at Santana. She looks up at me and smiles.
"Are you no longer..." Santana says and I shake my head, "Yeah, that's what I thought."
I roll off of her and she gets out of the bed to put her clothes on. I sit up and run a hand through my hair. The while time Santana gets dressed, she gives me weird looks. She grabs her brush from off of her dresser and brushes her hair as she sits down next to me.
"Okay, what's wrong? Something is obviously bothering you. Is it because she walked in on us?" She asks and I shake my head, "Then what is it?"
I look down at my lap, "I don't wanna talk about it."
"Don't think of me as your wife. Think of me as your... best friend."
I look up at her and see the concern in her eyes. She stops brushing her hair and gives me all of her attention. I let out a deep breath and close my eyes.
"I'm happy that next week is the last week of the tour because then I'll be with you more, but then I'm sad because that's it. It's just no more."
"Wait, what do you mean?" Santana asks and she scoots closer to me
"What am I gonna be doing now? You're in the studio working on your stuff and I'll be at home doing nothing. We all thought that more artists would see me and want to take me but no one has said anything. And it just makes me really sad that this might be the end for me. That after next week everything for me is done."
"Britt, you are the best freaking dancer I've ever seen. Someone is gonna take you on tour and they're gonna be even bigger than Mercedes. Just give it time."
"What if Im running out of time and this was my short five seconds of fame?"
She laughs, "We're twenty years old. We have plenty of time."
"Then why did we get married? Because you were worried about us running out of time?"
Santana's smile fades away and her eyes get small.
"No, because you're the love of my life and I didn't wanna spend another second without you and I can't believe you just said that." Santana stands up but I grab her wrists so that she can't walk away
"I didn't mean it like that."
"But you still said it and that part hurts. I understand that you're upset about something that's going to work out in the end but you have to understand that I'm going to believe in you no matter what. Even if you have the most craziest plan set up I will still believe in you and I will help you in every way I can, but you can't say things like that. I'm just really tired of us saying the wrong thing at the wrong time."
"So what are you saying? You wanna break up?"
"No, of course not, but I do want you to leave. If you don't wanna be here then you can leave. You can go to your parent's house or back to New York and I'll meet you there when I'm ready. I just don't want you to feel like your trapped."
"I don't feel trapped."
"But when you asked me why we got married, you sounded like you were and I never want you to feel that way," Santana runs a hand through her hair and clears her throat, "I won't be mad at you if you spend Christmas somewhere else. I'll be sad but I won't be mad because I understand that everyone needs space and if you want space then go get it," Santana kisses me on the forehead, "I love you, Brittany."