I accidentally messed up my initial upload of Chapter 65 (Thank you to the reader that brought that to my attention. Thank you so much!) so make sure that you read all of that chapter, it is very important to this one. It is the core of which this chapter hangs on, and this chapter is important to the whole story. It is very multi layered in its revelations of Heine's intentions during Xiao's training.
Chapter 66
Must escape!
Xiao's hips creak and break and Heine's palm exerts a crushing force against his back. Heine's thrusting body leaves Xiao's trembling in pain.
"I'll give you a tip. Allow this body to break and escape with your mind instead."
Xiao closes his eyes and clenches his fists. Even if Heine is the architect of this body, he must break it apart.
A slapping sound reverberates in his head, and his thoughts spread outward, seeping through the gaps. Everything shattered and he stops himself from rushing away. He knows that the reason Heine can follow his movements is because he has embedded his own thoughts into his consciousness. Xiao must patiently remove these fragments and escape.
"Hey! Xiao Yan! Xiao Yan, you are fine!"
Mark's voice rang in his ear, and Xiao Yan disconnected the link and took off the connector.
His body was oaked in sweat and his eyes rolled dizzily.
Across from him Heine slowly opens his eyes. His expression is serene, he sits calmly as though nothing had happened.
"Wow, Xiao Yan...you look horrible. Did the boss torture you in there> No wonder, few people can fight off his will.
Xiao is rattled and weak, his legs feel like limp noodles and he isn't sure he can hold himself up.
Mark looked back at Heine with a scolding expression, "Hey you scared Xiao Yan!"
Heine slowly rose from his chair and walked toward Xiao Yan. His steps were measured and smooth. Xiao leaned back from his approach, looking up at him with timid cation.
"...for...why did you do that..."
Heine knuckled brush against his forehead and wiped the sweat from his brow. His face is set in cold lines, but the gesture is gentle and soothing. "Because if you had felt safe, you wouldn't have given it your all. You would have lacked the determination to break free."
Xiao was shaking so hard he felt his bones rattle, regardless if it was an illusion designed to challenge him, the feeling of being taken completely and held captive so severely...that terror feels very real. Everything that happened felt so real.
"That... what's wrong?" Mark looked puzzled.
"Tell me, what have you learned from me?"
"Nothing was as it seemed."
In the end it was not the maze that was the trap, but the form of himself that Heine had created.
"You have completed and passed your first lesson."
Not a bit of the ice in Heine's gaze melted, like always he turned away and walked out of Xiao's sight.
"Hey! Xiao, you still look so scared. What did you see in there?" Mark was exceedingly curious.
"It's nothing."
Thinking of Heine's intimate torture, Xiao's heart beats erratically as his blood raced through his veins.
Heine had a million ways to manifest Xiao's fear, why did he utilize that method?
"The mere fact that the Boss let you in his brain was astounding." Mark sighed, resigned to not knowing what had transpired.
"Oh, in fact, the head can make you enter his brain is really unexpected." Mark sighed.
"Did he do it because he is strong, or distant?"
Xiao Yan's lips lift in a faint smile.
Mark hesitated and after deliberation cautiously spoke.
"Have you heard of Lt. General Renault? He was the former head of the Academy."
"Of course I know of him. He was assassinated by the Surge. After his death they ranked him a General."
Mark chuckled wryly. "They story of his death was fabricated to deceive little rookies like yourself. He actually defected to the Surge."
"What?"
Xiao was stunned. This bit of information collapsed pieces of his world view. Renault had been a pioneer. He had developed The Shire's scientific curriculum. He had personally sculpted the academy to hone the highest talents. Xiao's own father had greatly admired the man.
"I can't believe such a thing! He was responsible for top secret projects. To know that he gave all that confidential information to the Surge...using the entire of the Shire's resources to conduct research for the Surge."
"Why would he do such a thing? He was born here. He never left the Shire, not in his whole life. How can he be connected to the Surge."
"The military sent two elite from the Academy. They were top students in blocker evasion and invasion tactics. They were sent to infiltrate his mind. Those two people were Shen Bing and the Boss."
"How could that be? Colonel Shen Bing would have just graduated. That means that Colonel Burton would have still been a student at the Academy!"
"The human mind is a terrible place. The depth of one's subconscious is a dark terror. Those who appear righteous and kind bury their true cruel and evil nature there in order to keep their respectable mask intact. These surface aspects are all the illusion they present to the world, but their truth can only be found inside. Even the people themselves are unaware of their own wickedness. They have no idea what they are."
"What happened to Shen Bing and Heine?"
"I have no idea." Mark hesitates once more, chewing his lip in thought before his careful words continue.
"All we know is the result. Shen Bing left with permanent neural damage, he can no longer perform such missions...and the boss...well it was right after that mission that he abandoned the institute and entered the Special Forces. He accepted the x-virus right away. At the time, there was a huge uproar. They all assumed Boss would be an important researcher. His potential in the scientific field was great. Everyone considered it a travesty that such a great mind would choose such a short life, trading all his talent for a mere decade. Nonetheless, the boss was resolute in his decision. All of us from his unit had assumed he would never enter another's subconscious again nor let anyone step into his own mind. You...changed all of this; a singular exception."
Xiao Yan recalled when Heine had entered his own subconscious to bring him out of his mind. He has no recall of the actual events, what happens at the deepest part of his subconscious remains there... he has no way to remember.
So what was in his subconscious? Was it like Renault's, full of horror and evil? What did Heine see?
"Hey, it's noon, let's go eat!" Mark laughed suddenly, breaking the tension and ushering him out of the lab.
Once they entered the dining, the atmosphere was a start contrast to the labs. Everyone eats uniform meals, it is a completely militant setup.
Xiao Yan looked around until he spotted Casey, who was busy talking to Liv.
"Xiao Yan! So great to see you here!"
Casey exclaimed boisterously and then grabbed a hold of his wrist. The instant his hand clamped around him, his bones creaked and ground together.
"Ah! Casey! Ease up! Easy!"
Xiao Yan gritted his teeth as Casey held him tightly.
"I have missed you! I miss seeing you very day! Everything is so strict here. The supervisors don't let me do anything. Even though they cancelled all of that dam combat training, they have also cancelled my research!"
Casey had a beautifully innocent face. As he broke out into miserable sobs, his delicate features attract the glances of the other diners.
Eventually, Casey let go of Xiao Yan.
"Hey by the way, how is your research going? Are you continuing it?"
"Continue? Right now I don't have the energy to concentrate."
Casey sighed in sympathy and comforted him. "It will all be fine. The military has vetted everyone before they are cleared to continue any high level projects. Even if they are approved, their research must be done independently."
"Why? Won't that make progress slow and cumbersome? Most research requires the collaboration of several people for the many parts of the project."
"They are less concerned with efficiency, rather they are prioritizing confidentiality." Casey's childish outrage settled down. "Everyone thinks differently, perhaps having people approach the projects from their own unique perspective will be beneficial in the end. It will allow them to diverge from formally established patterns. Just like with you, previously you were working on the same project, but now you are approaching it from a whole different angle. It seems without me binding you, you are able to think more freely."
"..." Xiao Yan smiled bitterly.
"I know you are frightened. I am as well, but Xiao Yan success is at your fingertips."
Casey stood up and leaned forward, his green eyes poisoned his smile. His small body slowly crossed the distance between them, and his lips gently touched Xiao's forehead. He instantly stepped back, before Xiao could respond. The moment had come and gone in the blink of an eye.
"I am going back!"
Xiao Yan's face reddened and his looked over at Liv who was guarding Casey. She smiled at Xiao and followed Casey out of the hall.
"Wow, that kid...Casey has such a notoriously cantankerous temperament. Yet every time I see him with you, he becomes as harmless and delicate as a Barbie doll." Mark's chin fell open in shock.
"Oh...hehe..." Xiao Yan's eyes darken and he smirked strangely, his fingers trembled against his will.
When Casey had leaned in close, Xiao was able to clearly see a intense coldness in Casey's eyes. They were...Very very cold.
Xiao left the dining hall and headed back to his lab, Heine followed behind him. He walked easily as though everything that had happened in his mind had never existed.
Countless questions welled in his heart, but no answers rise to meet them.
He spent the afternoon, reorganizing his data. Heine sat quietly on the chair, his long leg angled over the other, his fingers gently grasped the cup in his hand. His elegant refinement seemed alien and isolated. Xiao Yan felt every small movement of Heine's reflect in his heart.
At the end of the day he finally spoke one command.
"Connect to your terminal and begin your research."
This is an order and there is no room for negotiation.
This time Xiao's hesitation was not due to his experience with the Surge blocker, but to Heine Burton. The minute that he connects to the terminal Heine will enter and guard his thoughts per the orders of General Gordon. He cannot forget all that happened in Heine's world of thought during their training session.
"You brain will not be so easily be invaded."
This blunt statement of Heine's echoes flatly in the room, void of any fluctuations. The cold delivery sank Xiao's mood.
Heine entered the system.
Xiao Yan hesitated then reluctantly put on his terminal connector.
"If you have any questions, it is best to ask me now."
Xiao took a steadying breath, he knew that his fear was naked and visible, Heine is always able to seen through him.
Since Heine offered up the moment, he would take advantage of it and voice his questions. He would not let this opportunity go without pursuing the answers he wanted. If he did not, he would be unable to continue.
"You have been to my subconscious."
"Yes."
"What was there...was it as terrible as the rumors are of such a place?"
"No."
Heine's answer is simple. Xiao knows that Heine will not lie to spare his feelings. He will answer honestly with a mere 'yes' or 'no'.
Why would Heine allow him to go into his mind? Had Heine glimpsed something dark in his subconscious that disturbed him?
"So what did you see?"
Heine was completely silent.
The atmosphere tightened strangely. Mark, who was usually oblivious to shifting moods, suddenly backed up several steps. "Hey, uh..don't let me disturb you...I need to see if Liv requires assistance..."
He quickly squeezed out of the door, and exited the lab.
"I saw a glistening blue ocean, white sandy beach, endless forests and a sky full of stars."
Xiao Yan frowned at his description. "Why does it sound as if you have been there more than once?"
"Yes."
Xiao sits stunned at Heine's answer.
"That...how is that possible? How did you get it?" Xiao shifted in his chair, adrenaline rushed through his body and twitched his muscles.
"You often fall asleep while connected to the system. I would find you and enter."
"Enter..." Xiao's heart galloped wildly. He thought of his strange dreams and illusions, each and every fantastical moment with Heine Burton. He had derided himself for such dreams, and all along it had been Heine Burton invading his brain.
Xiao Yan realized that the terminal was the common point of connection. Heine Burton had invaded his brain! And he had done so numerous times!
"Why would you do this? Mark said that you won't enter anyone's subconscious ever again?"
For the first time Xiao felt this man, sitting in front of him, meld his indifferent self with the Heine in his imagination.
"Because your subconscious mind is the most comforting place I have ever been to."
"What......"
Why do I make you feel at ease?
I have almost died by the rot and decay of zombie more times that I can count. I have felt the blade of the Surge more than once. I would be dead if not for the x-2! Only beside your immense power can I feel confident. Yet you say I put you at ease?
Heine still stands upright and stern, his thoughts began to warm and glow, and the ice over his eyes is pressured to rupture. The heat steams and Xiao glimpses the dew as it cools in front of him. Something bloomed richly in his blood, opening his veins and increasing the volume.
Xiao opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He knew that Heine was concerned about his reaction to the x virus, but for him to induce such illusions and hidden dreams...
This means...
Does this indifferent and cold man carry feelings for him? Has he since long ago?
"In your subconscious I make you feel pain so you know it is me. You will remember clearly that the person who holds you is me."
For the first time Xiao saw himself perfectly reflected in Heine's eyes. Amid his gaze was a clear fear.
.
He slowly stood up and walked toward Xiao Yan. His fingers moved along his forehead and traced the curve of his brow. His knuckles brushed against his nose and lingered at the tip. Every gesture was soft and incredibly gentle. A tragic intimacy shadowed his caress.
"Even if I want to I cannot be by your side much longer."
Xiao Yan tilted his head up as he absorbed Heine's steady tone.
"So you must be strong."
Xiao blinked slowly and stood looking at Heine for a long time.
___________________________________________
Throughout the afternoon, he remained with a stupefied expression locked on his face.
Even when Mark escorted him back to his room, Xiao continued in his dazed state.
"Hey! What did the Boss say to you?" Mark stopped Xiao from aimlessly wandering past his room.
"Oh..." Mark held his forehead with a distressed look on his face.
Xiao suddenly whipped around and wildly grabbed a hold of Mark. "Tell me! Did Colonel Burton have a blood test recently? How active is the virus?"
"Ah..." Mark was taken aback at Xiao's sudden questions and frantic tone. He stood uncertain of how to react. "That...maybe Maya would know?"
Xiao left without a word. Maya was sitting at his desk browsing through several documents. He looked up as Xiao rushed in front of him.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
Xiao's expression is intensely serious; he looked at Maya straight in the eye, his gaze full of power and pressure.
Maya groaned deeply and closed the display in front of him. His head fell into his palms and he stayed in that position for a long time. Xiao knows from his reaction that he is not ready to hear what Maya has to say.
"The blood test for the Boss was conducted. We don't have the results because they are encrypted. Only Gordon and Ervel know..."
Xiao's hands trembled violently. Heine only had two years at most. The test results, for the Special Forces, are typically available. The fact that Heine's has been encrypted could only mean one thing. The virus is replicating too rapidly.
Heine doesn't have much time left.
So that was the mood when Heine said, "Even if I want to I cannot be by your side much longer."
He knew that he was not as strong as Heine, but he thought they could at least fight side by side.
Why did he not mention the blood test to him?
Ha... You are stupid, Xiao Yan.
Heine Burton has always carried his suffering alone, and he will continue... even to his death.
"Many people want to take his place. They don't want his position, rather they want to become the myth and legend. But there is only one Heine Burton."
Xiao Yan heavily lowered his head.
"We will all die, sooner or later."
Heine is not indifferent to his death, it is just that he has already accepted it.
That is why...
That is why he will kiss him with all he has in the security of his subconscious, because each time may be his last chance to do so.
That night, Xiao could not sleep. He lay awake on his pillow, the lights were off and he stared deeply into the darkness.
Heine sat on the sofa, Xiao attempted to feel and memorize his every breath as though it were the first time.
He has no ever thought so hard on one thing.
What did Heine say? Something about...what did "addicted" mean?
Nothing can offset what Heine has done to him! Although not in reality, Xiao has given Heine his body more than once. Even if it is not real, it is true!
Xiao propped his head on his arm. He used to play games of listen to music to fall asleep. Now he won't pick up the terminal and give Heine the chance to do whatever he wants.
They were not fantasies! He thought of every time he was madly taken by Heine, unable to resist or escape. Heine had held absolute control of his mind. Heine Burton was really terrible.
He pressed his hands down on his head as he fought the urge to punch the wall.
What did he mean by "I am addicted to you". It is clear that Xiao is addicted to the x virus. But Heine had said that he was addicted to a useless researcher. At that time he was an ordinary looking lazy tech. He had no combat ability and was not focused or special in any way. Why did Heine say such a thing and then leave him to figure out the answer?
Xiao's fingers unconsciously moved to tough his own lips.
He would never forget his kiss. Xiao closed his eyes, though the man was strong and cold, his lips possessed a searing heat that could evaporate his blood.
His father had been so passionate about his research. His efforts had been regarded as ridiculous; he was mocked for pursuing oceanography. His studies had been futile in a city with no ocean. Even to the day of his father's death, Xiao did not put much thought into such a passionate approach to research and thinking.
But are you willing, now? Xiao Yan?
These thoughts looped around his mind throughout the night.
When his alarm when off in the morning, Xiao felt as if he had woken from a very long dream.
He rolled off the bed and went to the bathroom to shower.
Heine was already up.
His expression was still stoic and cold, as if all he had said to Xiao yesterday was merely his imagination.
"Col. Burton. You said yesterday that you will protect my brain? Is this true?"
"Yes."
There is no hesitation, his answer is as true as the swing of his blade.
"Then please protect me."
Xiao Yan threw the terminal connector and Heine smoothly caught it.
From today, he will try his best to think harder than ever before....To think more than ever before.
Because time will not wait.
Why can't you be by my side longer?! Is this a sick joke?! I will not allow you to leave midway!
He closed his eyes and his thoughts break and rush into and through the terminal, he sifts through the rapid flashing of data and all the displays in the lab turn on and process simultaneously.
Mark's expression slackens in shock as he watches the images flicker rapidly; the whole lab lights up into a rapidly shifting ocean of data.
Major Gordon, who is playing chess in the terminal system, was suddenly interrupted by the secretary.
"Report!"
"What?" Major Gordon expression twisted impatiently.
"Laboratory six is connecting at a critically high speed. The operation is pushing critical levels, the system is near overload!"
"What? Is it a surge blocker? Did they actually invade us?" Major General Gordon abruptly stood and the pieces on the board scattered to the floor.
"No..."
"No?"
"I have verified the user. id number 1665, Xiao Yan."
Major General Gordon blinked. "He is doing research right?"
"Yes."
"Heine Burton will monitor his brain. They won't make it past him. So why have you interrupted me with this nonsense?"
"But...the energy supply to the laboratory..."
Major General Gordon chuckled. "Then ask the Academy to provide another nuclear cell."
****Sorry to clutter this chapter up with my words. Ahh....I had forgotten about this chapter. I love how the author portrays the psychological aspect of Xiao's realization and the many reasons for Heine's approach to the training session in the other chapter. This story is about to really take off. I am sad to say that my computer is truly gone. Which is unfortunate because I was really hoping to get the chapters out faster as the story's pace amps up. I am sorry that we have to settle for sluggish speeds. It is what it is.****