TITLE: Second Chances
AUTHOR: bluebellSlytherin25
UNDERRATED CHARACTER: James Potter
SUMMARY:
REVIEW:
First of all, I apologise for the delay in the review.
Second, the plot you have written about is intriguing to say the least, and although I have never read a time turner book before, I can tell that this plot is quite unique, so I congratulate you for that.
Now, coming to James Potter, I truly love how you portrayed him. Even though it's after Hogwarts and we don't get to see much of him as a student, his personality is still quite deducible from his thought process. He is confident, perhaps a little arrogant, and yet he seems to have matured considerably, for he truly understands and regrets the wrongs he has done. From what little canon information we have of him, I think you have captured him remarkably.
Another thing I found intriguing was that you showed how James used to bully Peter. While I believe bullying is a bit farfetched – he did care a lot about his friends – it is however, believable that he would undermine and underestimate Peter a lot. He was cocky and arrogant, Peter had very low confidence, and the fact that you showed that this one of the reasons that drove Peter to betray them is something I can see happening. Although, I wouldn't use the word bullying, since James loved his friends and he wouldn't bully someone who he trusted enough to make his secret keeper.
But, if you wanted to show that James thought of himself as a bully, then I think it's fine.
The story, all in all, is written remarkably well. I love your writing style and description, but one thing that bugged me slightly was that you used too many long sentences, which, if used occasionally, is fine, but having nearly all sentences consisting of multiple clauses that can easily be separated into smaller ones makes it difficult to keep track of what's going on, and I occasionally found myself skipping chunks altogether. I would suggest splitting them up, at least to two or three shorter sentences, but it's entirely up to you – there's really no obligation to listen to me.
One thing that confused me however was Hendrix and Calypso Potter, since those aren't the names of James's parents (which are actually Fleamont and Euphemia) and I really don't know if you intended to do that or not.
Otherwise, your story is amazing, and as I have mentioned, the portrayal of James is on point, so I would give you a 10/10 for character portrayal.
I hope this review was helpful, keep writing!
(written by LeviosaDragon)