AN: Epilogue is up but before you scroll down and start reading chingu's, put your headsets on and play the song This Love by Taylor Swift. It is highly recommended. Chars! Enjoy reading and thank you.
You are awesome cause you've gone reading this far.
Jeongmal saranghaeyo dongsaengssss!!! ♥
<3. ♥♥
***********
Is there something even worst than having a boyfriend but then one day you wake up and realize that it was only just a dream?
That, the Author you've been referring to as your boyfriend doesn't even know your existence?
Would you still chase for that dream?
Even if it's impossible to happen?
"REPLACE DREAMING BY DOING!"
Nothing is impossible! Even the word itself says : I'M POSSIBLE!
Work for your dreams. If it's meant to happen. It will happen. At the right time, at the right place and at the right chance.
If not. Then its not really meant to happen.
****
Nasa library ako ngayon habang nakaharap sa sandamakmak na activities, projects at assignments na kailangan kung gawin.
Masyado akong na behind dahil one week akong absent dahil sa aksidente.
"5 schools of Psychology, Gestalt school, Empty sheet, Instincts, Libido, Carl Jung, Sigmund Freud, Founder and Father of Psychology..."
"Ugh!! Walang pumapasok sa isip ko." mahinang reklamo ko habang ginulo ng bahagya ang buhok ko.
Nakatunganga lang ako habang naka tingin sa patong-patong na folders at xerox papers sa harap ko ng bigla kung naalala ang pinaka weird at unusual na panaginip na napanaginipan ko so far.
♪♪ Clear blue, water
High tide, came and brought you in
And I could go on and on
On and on ♪♪
Sabi ng doctor, 3 days akong unconscious. Lahat ng nasa isip ko that time ay bunga lang ng obsession at over thinking.
Masyado daw akong nadala ng emosyon at imagination ko kaya lahat ng mga nasa isip ko bago nangyari ang aksidente ay hindi nawala at naglalaro lang sa isip ko.
Kaya siguro sa loob ng tatlong araw na tulog ako, yun ang nasa isip ko.
♪♪ And I will
Skies grow, darker
Currents swept you out again
And you were just gone and gone
Gone and gone ♪♪
Hindi ko naman maiwasang manghinayang. Kung kelan maayos na ang lahat at malapit na kami sa happy ending tsaka pa nawala ng parang bola ang lahat.
Hindi naman sa nagsisisi ako. Mas pipiliin ko pa rin namang magising sa katotohanan kahit masakit kesa patuloy na maging masaya sa kasinungalingan.
Siguro kung papipiliin ako ng pinaka memorable na 3 days sa buhay ko.
Yung ang pipiliin ko. Yung 3 days na nasa hospital ako at unconscious.
Memorable siya hindi dahil first time ko ma aksidente o dahil sa near death experience ko kundi dahil sa kakaibang experienced na narasan ko sa loob ng tatlong araw na yun.
♪♪ In silent screams
In wildest dreams
I never dreamed of this ♪♪♪
Yung four years sa panaginip ko ay parang naka kulong sa loob ng 3days na yun.
Feeling ko napunta ako sa parallel world nung mga time na yun kung saan nag e-exist at totoong nangyari ang lahat.
The moments and the strange feelings were still fresh in my memory.
I have this strange feeling that I need to do something.
Bigla ko namang nakita ang notebook ko at inopen ito randomly at binasa ang naka sulat.
If nothing feels right, I write.
When I'm bored, I write.
When I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm depressed, when I'm confused, when I'm all messed up, I write.
Every thoughts that pop-up my mind,
I write it down.
Every time I feel some strange feeling,
I write it down.
The thoughts, the feelings, and the words that are meant to be said but I can't find the courage to express them vocally, I let it out through writing.
In writing, I can freely express all the negative and positive thoughts in my mind without the fear of being criticized, judged and discourage.
Writing gives me freedom.
In writing I found my best friend.
Bigla ko namang naisip kung gano ko ka hilig ang pag susulat.
"Writing is my Hobby, my passion."
Suddenly, an idea comes up.
I need to write it down. Ayokong ikulong sa isip ko ang isa sa pinaka magandang panaginip na nagyari sa buhay ko.
♪♪ This love is good
This love is bad
This love is alive back from the dead
Oh, oh
This hands
Had to let it go free
And, this love came back to me
Oh, oh..
Oh,oh.... Oh... ♪♪♪
The memories I have in my dreams was just too precious to be stuck on my mind. I need to let it out.
Kinuha ko ang notebook at ballpen at nag simula ng mag sulat.
Lahat ng naalala ko sa panaginip na yun sinulat ko. Everything, every memories I remember. Not leaving any single detail.
Hanggang sa mag mukha ng napaka habang diary ang nasulat ko.
Araw-araw kung dala-dala ang notebook na yun at araw-araw ko ring dala-dala ang napaka gandang ala-ala na hindi naman nangyari sa totoong buhay ko.
♪♪ Tossing, turning
Struggle through the night with someone new
And I could go
On and on, on and on
Lantern, burning
Flickered in my mind, only you
But you were still
Gone! Gone! Gone! ♪♪
♪ Been losing grip
On sinking ships
You showed up just in time ♪♪
Nakahiga na ako sa kama ko ng maisipan kung magbasa muna ng libro. To kill time dahil hindi pa ako inaantok.
Kumuha ako ng isang fiction book sa mini book shelf ko. Tiningnan ko ang cover. It is a story from one of the New york times best selling author.
I read the blurb first but it doesn't caught my interest. Not my genre. Kaya binalik ko ito at kumuha ng iba.
A book with a combined color of green, black and yellow cover caught my attention.
I read the title first.
"IF YOU WANT TO WRITE"
A book about Art, Independence and Spirit. By BRENDA UELAND
(Second Edition)
I jump to the first chapter.
"Everybody is Talented, Original and Has Something Important to Say"
Yang line palang na yan ang nababasa ko pero, napa "You got me!" na ako.
Pinag patuloy ko ang pag babasa at wala akong ibang masabi kundi..
"Wow! Just wow! An inspiring author indeed!"
Some of her words that really caught me were:
"Life is more important than Literature. So, write what you feel, saw and thought."
"Millions of human beings with education and without it, think and feel things that are worth saying and then can write them just beautifully like great men and women and true poets."
"Don't be discourage, annihilated by rejection slips, and too much awed and inhibited by successful writers."
Her words was so bold and honest. So true!
" When discourage, remember what Van Gogh said: " If you hear a voice within you saying : You are no painter, then paint by all means, lad, and that voice will be silenced, but only by working."
No doubt. She's definitely an inspirational writer.
But the line that really caught and leave a deep mark in my heart was the last line in her book, wherein, she said :
"And if it has given you the impulse to write one small story, then I am pleased."
I don't know how to described the exact feeling i feel while reading that last line
in her book.
I may sound so exaggerated but, it feels like my heart and soul soared while reading those last words.
It inspires and motivate me for so many reasons.
Suddenly, I remember my dream. The spectacular love story in my dream that I have written in my notebook.
I just feel the urge to write it not just in my notebook but somewhere else, where anyone could read it.
I believe that Kib, Tam and I, and every detail of the memories and the promises that we have shared in that dream shouldn't just exist in my memory but also to others. I want to share it to everyone.
It may not please or inspire everybody, but at least, with just one person, I hope it does.
Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko at inopen ang wattpad account ko, and there,
I started typing..
That Author is my Boyfriend.