In the last chapter, Naruto failed his Genin Exam. Mizuki confronted him about stealing the Scroll of Seals. Naruto and Sakura convinced Sasuke (more like forced him) to steal the scroll. When everything is over, Itachi questions Sasuke as to why his jar smells of human ashes. What is in store next for our three protagonists?
Chapter Two: How to Introduce Characters!
"Sasuke, what is your connection to the Kuro ie?" Itachi asked worriedly. "Did someone threaten you? I promise it'll all be okay, just tell me!"
"Er...no one threatened me."
"Really?" Itachi asked.
"Really. However...I am a part of the Kuro ie."
Itachi blanched. "What?!"
"Yeah...you see, I may or may not be a professional thief, and part-time assassin, in the Kuro ie."
"Professional thief and part-time assassin?" Itachi asked blankly.
"Yep."
"I...Sasuke, who are you?"
"I'm Sasuke Uchiha," Sasuke said.
"No, what do people call you?"
"In the Kuro ie?"
"Yes."
Sasuke was silent.
"Sasuke."
"People who know me call me the Uchiha brat, but for jobs...I'm called the Chisana Shinigami."
"YOU'RE THE CHISANA SHINIGAMI?!"
"Y-Yes," Sasuke said, wincing.
"Sasuke Uchiha," Itachi hissed, "you have admitted to the stealing of countless precious objects and the murders of two civilians, one noble, and three loyal shinobi." He raised the jar in his hand. "Of course, that doesn't include whoever you burned to death."
"I didn't burn him to death," Sasuke muttered. "I knocked him out, slit his throat, and burned his corpse."
"That isn't much better!"
"Well, excuse me for just doing my job!"
"YOU'RE 'JOB' IS STEALING FROM AND MURDERING PEOPLE!"
"SO IS YOURS!" Sasuke retorted.
"What I do is authorized by the Village!"
"You act like that makes sense! Is killing and stealing suddenly okay because a small group of people allowed you to do it?"
"Of course not!" Itachi snapped. "However, as an ANBU of the Hidden Lead Village, I need to turn you in."
"Itachi!" Sasuke yelled. "Are you really going to throw me in jail?!"
"I..." Itachi should turn Sasuke in. Sasuke was a criminal. Sasuke has killed people!
But then again, so had Itachi.
"Do you plan to continue your...job?"
"Yes," Sasuke said with zero hesitation. "I do."
"Sasuke..." Itachi whispered. "I...I support you."
Sasuke suddenly put on a blinding, Naruto-ish grin. "You won't regret it!"
"I better not."
-/_\-
"What are you doing here? This is for graduates only!"
Naruto, who had just walked in, said, "Are you blind, Kiba? Do you not see my forehead protector?"
Kiba growled. "Knowing you, you probably stole it off of somebody!"
"Nah, that's more Sasuke's thing."
"Maybe you had him do it for you?"
"While that seems like something I might do, I wasn't that desperate."
"You-"
"Kiba," Sakura said, interrupting them, "I assure you that Naruto is, indeed, a Genin now. So can you stop shouting?"
"S-Sorry, Sakura," Naruto and Kiba stammered.
Sakura took her sunglasses off of her eyes and put them on her head. "Apology accepted. Now, come on Naruto. Sasuke said he had big news."
Naruto blinked. "Okay."
When they walked over to Sasuke, he was cramming food into his mouth.
They turned to Choji, who was sitting next to him, and gave him a questioning look. Choji shrugged. "He asked for food and I gave some to him."
Naruto and Sakura turned their gaze back to Sasuke, who paused. "What? I stress eat!"
"No you don't."
"Well, I do now."
"Just tell us what happened."
"...Itachi knows."
Naruto choked. "When?!"
"Last night. I managed to convince him not to report me."
"Oh," Sakura said, sighing in relief. "I thought that I'd have to off him."
"No offense, Sakura, but you realize that my brother's an ANBU, right? Your average goon can't kill him."
Sakura smirked. "Who said that all my underlings are your average goons?"
"You know what, I don't even want to know."
Later, the three of them were placed on the same team ("Yesyesyesyesyesyes-" "Shut the hell up.") and all was well.
Until they had to wait three hours for their sensei.
-/_\-
Kakashi Hatake was late (nothing out of the ordinary). This time, however, Kakashi Hatake has an actual excuse (not that he would use it).
You see, Kakashi Hatake was walking by one of his cute little student's house (er...apartment) when he smelled it. It was a faint scent that was almost completely overshadowed by bleach. Blood.
(As for why he just happened to be on the third floor of Naruto's apartment building...he honestly didn't know)
At that moment, Kakashi Hatake has every right to be horrified. Instead, though, Kakashi just raised his one visible eyebrow.
"Huh," he said. "Would you look at that?"
Kakashi long ago admitted to himself that he wasn't right in the head. However, now that Kakashi was faced with the fact that his beloved sensei's son was quite possibly a murderer and he just chuckled, Kakashi wondered if he should finally go see a therapist.
Nah.
"This is going to be fun."
-/_\-
Kakashi couldn't help but feel a little disappointed when he walked into the classroom only to have an eraser hit him on the head. Seriously, did they have no imagination? He had expected more.
Then a barrage of deadly sharp pencils were launched at him (he wasn't a Jonin for nothing, though, so he dodged them).
Finally a voice said, "Icha Icha, huh? I never did figure out what this book was about..."
Kakashi blinked, then hurriedly felt his pouch. His book was gone. When he looked up, he saw it in the hands of a boy with black hair and the Uchiha crest.
An underage boy.
Quick as lightning, Kakashi snatches the book out of the twelve-year-old's hands. It was too late, though, as the boy had already opened the book and read half of a page.
Sasuke's face was bright red. "E-Eh?! Why the hell would Itachi have the whole series?!" He frowned. "Though that would explain why it was hidden under his floorboards..."
All the other people in the room blinked. Huh. Itachi Uchiha is a closet pervert, who knew?
"Whelp," Kakashi said, "my first impression of you is...that you're interesting. In a good way. Meet me on the roof."
-/_\-
"I still think that the pencils were a bit much," Naruto said while they walked to the roof.
"The eraser was too tame!" Sakura protested. "You have to leave a strong first impression!"
"Yeah, but you literally tried to kill our sensei!"
"Nonsense! He's a Jonin! Besides, it worked, didn't it? He said we were interesting in a good way!"
"I'm pretty sure," Sasuke said, breaking in, "that that was because of me."
"Yeah, Sasuke, we need to talk about that. Why on Earth did you think stealing from a Jonin was a good idea?!"
"Why on Earth would you think stealing the Scroll of Seals would be a good idea?" Sasuke retorted.
"...touché."
-/_\-
"Why don't you introduce yourselves?" Kakashi said. Naruto opened his mouth to go first when Kakashi interrupted him. "Aren't you going to ask who I am?"
Sakura frowned. "Why would we do that, Kakashi Hatake? I mean, who would need to know that you're the son of the late White Fang or that you have a Sharingan which you have used to copy over a thousand jutsu?"
"Yes," Naruto agreed. "Why would we care that you're the student of the Fourth Hokage and that you're always at least three hours late to everything? Or how you are terrified of chickens?"
"Or," Sasuke continued, "How you're best friend is Might Gai? How you're a confirmed pervert and avid follower of the Icha Icha series? How you can't sing to save your life?"
Kakashi blinked. "Huh. I was right, you three are going to be fun. I would make you all Genin right now if I could."
Sasuke frowned. "Ugh. Do we have to do the Genin Test?"
"Sadly, it's required. Show up at Training Ground Seven tomorrow. There's more information in these pamphlets." Kakashi tossed the papers to them and was about to leave when he paused. He turned back to Naruto and said, "By the way, I'm not scared of chickens."
Naruto smirked. "Maybe not now, but trust me, you will be."
...well, that wasn't ominous or anything.
Only later would Kakashi realize that they hadn't introduced themselves.
"Great, now I have to read their files!"
-/_\-
"Sasuke, where do you think you're going?"
Sasuke paused, pack slung across his back. "I'm going to the Kuro ie, duh. I thought that we already established this?"
"No, you're not. I don't care if you're the Chisana Shinigami, you're getting some rest for your Genin Test tomorrow," Itachi said.
Sasuke frowned. Then, a mischievous smile grin made its way onto Sasuke's face. "Of course, Big Brother. Let me just tell Mother about the Icha Icha under your floorboards real quick and I'll get right to it!"
Itachi froze. The Icha Icha! Sasuke found them! He had bought them three years prior, because curiosity, and had kept them, because hormones. Itachi Uchiha did not consider himself a pervert, despite enjoying the perverted series. He didn't want anyone else to think he was a pervert, either, so he stashed them underneath his floor.
If Sasuke told Mother, though...let's just say that the consequences for him would be much worse than for Sasuke if Mikoto ever found out about the whole "professional thief and assassin" thing.
"...fine. However," Itachi said, "I want you to take me with you."
Sasuke blinked. "Uh, okay? You might want to Henge, though. You'd be surprised how many people work in the Kuro ie. Some of them might see you and jump to conclusions."
Itachi decided to trust Sasuke's judgement.
-/_\-
"Hey Kirasa!" Sasuke said brightly. "Admission for two!"
"Sure Uchiha brat," the guard, Kirasa, said. He glanced at Itachi, who was currently under a Henge. "Who's the newbie?"
"Someone who was interested. You can call him Ikaso."
"Well Ikaso," Kirasa said, "I think that you'll be relieved to know that very few people, excluding me, can see through your Henge. Everyone will know you have one up, though. Be careful, 'kay? Some might take it as an insult."
Itachi blinked. "Okay?"
"Good," Kirasa said. "Now," he gave Itachi a wolffish grin, "hope you enjoy the Kuro ie, 'Ikaso'."
With that, Kirasa opened the door and Itachi entered the Village underworld.
-/_\-
"Bluff," Naruto said calmly. The thirty-ish-year-old man sitting across from him slumped in defeat. The way it was looking, Naruto would win. And he did.
"Heh," Naruto grinned as he took the winnings. He would only be keeping 75%, though, as the rest was going to his client.
It may seem odd that someone would pay him to gamble for them, but in this case his employer was just trying to get the other man broke. It was a nice way to ruin someone's life without leaving too many traces.
That's when something caught his eye. Naruto's smirk turned into a grin.
"Sasuke! Over here!"
When Sasuke noticed him, he walked over. "Hey Naruto! Wait, I've got something for you..." Sasuke looked through his pack. "Aha! Here you go!"
Naruto blinked at what Sasuke had put in his hands. "Sasuke, this is a deck of cards. I have over fifty of these. They aren't even the fancy kind!"
"I know," Sasuke said. "I snagged them off of Kanamoto, though."
Naruto choked. "Sasuke, eventually Kanamoto's going to make the connection that the random kid he keeps bumping into is the reason he keeps losing things."
"Maybe," Sasuke said, "but until he does, I'm going to make the most of his stupidity."
Naruto snorted. "Whatever you say." He started to shuffle through his new deck of cards. Then, without even looking up, Naruto said, "So, Sasuke, who's your friend under a Henge?"
Sasuke sighed. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice."
"Everyone noticed," Naruto said. "So, who is he? Your new protégé?"
"No," the person who was following Sasuke said, "I'm his brother."
Naruto paused and looked up. "Itachi?"
Itachi nodded.
Naruto shook his head. "If someone realizes who you are, you're doomed."
"I am well aware."
"And here I thought I could introduce my protégé to your's, Sasuke."
Sasuke squinted. "You have a protégé?"
"Yeah, didn't I tell you? Hey, Kono, where'd you go?"
A young voice yelled, "Coming, Sensei!"
When the boy came into view, Itachi's eyes widened. "I-Isn't that Lord Third's grandson?"
"Yep," Naruto agreed. "He's also my student, right Kono?"
"Yes, Sensei!" Konohamaru Sarutobi exclaimed brightly.
"How the hell did you get the Hokage's grandson as your student?" Sasuke asked.
"Well, you see..."
-/_\-
"...wow," Hiruzen Sarutobi said, eyeing Naruto's Ninja Registry Picture. "This is surprisingly normal."
Naruto raised and eyebrow. "Surprisingly?"
Lord Third shrugged. "I was low-key expecting you to turn up with a picture of you in, I don't know, kabuki war paint."
(In another Universe, the Nanadaime, who was currently getting yelled at by the Third's grandson, sneezed.) [1]
"That does seem like something I would do," Naruto conceded. "However, I figured that this was something important that I didn't want to screw up."
The Hokage sighed. "Well," he muttered, "at least he has more common sense than his mother." He never figured out why Kushina had insisted to get her picture done in an uncomfortable-looking (though admittedly beautiful) kimono and full face of make-up.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
Naruto raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. He didn't say anything when a small boy suddenly ran in, exclaiming that today would be the day he defeated the Hokage, or when the Hokage sighed in exasperation, or even when the boy fell flat on his face.
By then the little brat had the audacity to blame him.
"Listen here brat, I don't care how hard you tripped, but don't go blaming me! You tripped over your scarf, so maybe throw it away."
"I'm not stupid enough to trip over my own scarf! You must have set up a trap or something!"
Eye twitching, Naruto walked up to him and grabbed his scarf. "How many times do I have to tell you-"
Someone suddenly ran into the room. The person shouted, "LET GO OF THE HONORABLE- wait, Naruto?"
Naruto blinked in surprise, dropping the boy in his arms. "Ebisu?" Naruto grinned. "It's been a while! How have you been?"
"Pretty good, actually," Ebisu said. "But you do realize that you just threatened the Hokage's grandson, right?"
"Of course I do! What does that have to do with anything? He blamed me for something that wasn't my fault! It doesn't matter whose grandkid he is, he's going down!"
From the ground, Konohamaru looked up in awe.
Hiruzen cleared his throat. "You two know each other?"
"Yeah," Ebisu said, "we met at a...restaurant three years back and been bumping into each other every now and then since."
Naruto snorted. They actually met in the Kuro ie, working on different sides of the poker table for two different clients. Naruto won and Ebisu had been intrigued. They had a drink together (Ebisu got sake and Naruto got orange juice). Naruto has to drag a drunk Ebisu home. They ended up meeting a few more times the exact same way.
Eventually, they started meeting in their own terms and became pretty close. They hadn't seen each other much since the Hokage gave Ebisu his new assignment. Five months, that's how long it had been. Nearly half a year.
The Hokage nodded. "Well, I'm glad you're being Naruto's friend." The 'and if you screw it up I'll make your life a living hell' was, while not mentioned , very much implied. Even Konohamaru winced.
"Now," The Hokage said cheerfully, "please don't hit my grandson, Naruto. Knowing you, you'll unintentionally give him brain damage."
"Only because you asked nicely!" Naruto crouched down so that he was at Konohamaru's level. He grabbed his chin and stared into the Honorable Grandson's eyes.
Finally, Naruto said, "He's got skills, guts, and a good heart. He's perfect." Naruto grinned. "Well, kid? How'd you like to be my protégé?"
The Hokage raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.
"I'd love to!" Konohamaru yelled, stars in his eyes.
Ebisu smiled, too. "Looks like Konohamaru's got a good teacher!"
The Hokage's other eyebrow went up in surprise. This was the first time he heard Ebisu refer to the boy by his name, after all. He cleared his throat.
"While this is nice and all, I still have other Genin to see to. Now, it would really help if you could all GET OUT."
His diplomatic smile never moved an inch.
"R-Right," Naruto, Ebisu, and Konohamaru synced, sweat-dropping.
-/_\-
"...and that's how I got a student and met Ebisu again!"
"About that," Sasuke said, "where is Ebisu, anyway?"
"I'm pretty sure he's getting drunk at the bar."
"I could use a drink," Sasuke muttered. "Want to come with?"
Itachi's eyes widened in alarm. "You're drinking?!"
"Yep," Naruto said happily. "This place has the best orange juice!" He made a face. "Sasuke always gets the milk for some reason, though."
"Hey, it's good for your bones!"
Itachi's eye twitched.
-/_\-
"Mom, what are you doing?"
"Cooking, dear," Mebuki Haruno hummed.
"...what happened to our new chef?" Sakura asked slowly.
"He ran off screaming something about us being insane when Kanae dragged in one of the Tajimoto family's henchmen." She shook her head. "I almost followed him. He got blood all over the carpet! Do you have any idea how much of our budget goes into cleaning up messes? Three and a half percent!"
"First of all, Goryu! Take care of the chef, he knows too much!"
"Yes, Lady Sakura!"
"Second of all, how are you not used to it by now?" Sakura demanded. "You were married to Dad for seven years before he died and I've been heading the Akai Kawa for eight years since then!"
"Because I'm a normal person," Mebuki said. "I'm not the heir to a black market business!"
"Please," Sakura snorted. "A normal person would have run straight to the authorities the moment they found out that their significant other was a gang boss."
"...I suppose," Mebuki said. "Whatever. Go get cleaned up for dinner."
"Did you make enough for everyone?"
"..."
"Mom!"
"They can go a day without food!"
Sakura sighed. "At least I know no one's getting food poisoning." She shook her head. "I have some business with the Yumuru family tonight. I'll eat at the Kuro ie. Have Suyo cook something for everyone, okay?"
Mebuki wilted. "Okay," she muttered despondently.
"Okay, I'm going now! Bye Mom!"
"Bye dear. Love you."
"Love you, too. KARI! FUJIKO! REN! LETS GO!"
"Yes Lady Sakura!"
Mebuki frowned. "She should take more...I have a bad feeling about this."
-/_\-
"Sakura, is that sake-"
"No, Sasuke, no it is not. This," Sakura said holding up her glass, "is water, and just water. Why the hell would I drink alcohol? I heard it ruins your complexion. You don't see me asking Naruto if he's drinking some cocktail, do you?"
"Sorry."
"You better be. Now, I have some business with the Yumuru's men. Want to come with?"
"Sure!"
"Can I come, too?" the man standing next to Sasuke, sipping on some mango juice, asked.
Sakura squinted. "You're Sasuke's brother, right?"
"You can see through my Henge?"
"No, I just figured. You've got to have good instincts in my line of work."
Itachi raised an eyebrow. "And what, exactly, is your line of work?"
Sakura gave him a shark-like grin. "I'm the head of the Akai Kawa. The only reason I'm telling you this is because you're Sasuke's dear elder brother. If you let the cat out of the bag...I'll have to 'take care' of you."
For some reason, Itachi was terrified. "I-I see."
Sakura nodded. "Now, let's go get Naruto."
Naruto was listening to a drunk Ebisu's seemingly-epic tale. (When later questioned about it, Naruto explains that Ebisu was recounting how he had defeated the Fly King and became their leader)
Sakura had to lead Naruto away while reassuring Ebisu that, yes, Naruto would be back.
Later, Sasuke would wonder if leaving Konohamaru alone with a drunk Ebisu was a good idea.
-/_\-
"Konohamaru, come on! I'll teach you a cool jutsu!"
"Really?! What is it?!"
"Death Style: Explosion Technique!"
"AWESOME!"
-/_\-
Eh, he was sure they'd be fine.
"Come on, I'm supposed to them over there!" Sakura exclaimed. "I'm NOT going to be late because of you three!"
The thirty-second walk to the private meeting room was fine, but getting inside was a bit of a problematic.
"You specifically said you would bring three guards, not six!" the man at the door protested.
"Listen here," Sakura said in a dangerously low voice, "I know that you've got more than three men inside the room, so I don't see the problem here. It's not like anything's going to get physical, right?"
The man scowled. "You said-"
Sakura grabbed the man's shirt and pulled him down so that he was eye-level with her. "I will have you know," she's said, her voice sickeningly sweet, "that the only reason that I'm not gutting you right now is because I don't want to cause any problems. Is that understood?"
The man, white as a sheet, nodded. "Y-Yes. Y-You may go inside."
That was the day that Itachi found out that you should never anger Sakura Haruno.
The seven of them marched into the room, only for Itachi, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura to come to a dead stop. The man sitting across from them grinned.
"MIZUKI?!"
-/_\-
Meanwhile in a place that looked suspiciously like Hell (probably because it was):
Mizuki, who was just chilling in a pot of boiling water, sneezed. The demon that had been cackling maniacally paused.
"Er...bless you?"
Mizuki snorted. "I got blessed by a demon. Joy."
"I'm not the one who plotted to kill a twelve-year-old boy and betray my home since childhood," the demon said haughtily.
"The 'twelve-year-old boy' was the Kyuubi," Mizuki retorted.
"The Kyuubi was sealed in him," the demon corrected.
"Details," Mizuki said, waving his hand dismissively
"You do realize that this is why you're eternally damned to Hell, right?"
"I know I'm being stubborn, but it's kind of more about pride then anything else now."
"At least you admitted that you're stubborn," the demon muttered.
"Hey, Kakkri!" one of the other demons yelled. "Stop talking to your charge and start torturing him!"
The now-named Kakkri nodded. "On it!" He turned back to Mizuki and shrugged apologetically. "If it makes you feel any better, you can think of it like I'm laughing with you and not at you." Kakkri paused. "I'm totally laughing at you, though."
Mizuki just sighed.
-/_\-
Meanwhile at the Uchiha Compound's Main House:
Fugaku and Mikoto silently ate dinner, as both their talkative child and their encouraging child were not here. Speaking of which...
"Fugaku, where are our children?"
Fugaku looked up at his wife, alarmed. "I thought you knew where they are!"
"Are you saying that our children could be practically anywhere doing practically anything?"
"Y-Yes!" Fugaku yelled, panicking.
"...is there any possibility that Itachi is meeting up with a secret girlfriend?"
Fugaku paused, blinking. "I suppose."
"I'm sure they're fine."
"Mikoto-"
"I want grandkids, dammit!" Mikoto yelled. "Fugaku Uchiha, are you saying that you don't want the Clan to have another heir?"
"O-Of course not!"
"Then sit down, shut up, and eat your food."
There was a few moments of silence.
Then, Fugaku grumbled, "You were never this scary in canon."
"Fugaku, don't break the fourth wall."
"Sorry, dear."
-/_\-
Back to the Main Cast:
The man's grin faltered. "Uh, I'm not-"
"You tried to kill me!" Naruto yelled.
"I didn't-"
"It's your fault that I had to steal the Scroll of Seals!" Sasuke hissed.
"I'm trying to-"
"You were always annoying," Sakura said, sniffing.
"Wait a-"
"How are you even alive?" Itachi asked, eyes narrowed. "Sasuke killed you."
"I would have answered by now if you all hadn't CONSTANTLY INTERRUPTED ME!" the man growled. When no one spoke up, he sighed.
"Good. Now...I'm not Mizuki. I'm his twin sister, Eriko."
"That makes more sen- Wait, did you say sister?"
The man...er, woman's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Are you saying that I look like a man?"
Itachi froze. "N-No."
Eriko sighed. "Too bad, that's what I was going for..."
Everyone sweat-dropped.
Sakura cleared her throat. "Well, Eriko, I think we can discuss that later."
Eriko straightened. "Right." She grinned. "Let's start."
End of Chapter Two
0/_\0
[1] So...I have this fanfic on fanfiction.net (my account name there is SSSRHA [hint hint]) called "Kabuki War Paint" and this was a reference to that.
I'm not really happy with this chapter because nothing much happens in it. However, next chapter will have the Bell Test, so that will be fun!
Anyway, hope you liked on chapter two! I typed this up on my phone while listening to music and it went haywire somewhere in the middle, so please do tell me if you find any errors.
Anyway, please Vote if you liked it! Until next time, this is SSSRA2, signing out!