After an amazing night with Thomas I went back to Fiona's to see how she was doing. She was curled up on her kitchen floor spooning Nutella and crying which freaked me the hell out.
"What happened?!" I screamed as I ran to her side and tried to pry the spoon out of her mouth.
"I fucked Isaac." She said trough ugly tears, Nutella all over her mouth.
"How did this happen?! And why are you sad then?!" I yell, trying to lift her limp body off of the floor.
I didn't know why I was even yelling it just seemed appropriate at the time.
"Because I told him it was just a one time thing! I told him it was a mistake!" She balled onto my shoulder.
I patted her back awkwardly as a million thoughts ran through my mind.
I felt bad for Fiona, but I felt worse for Isaac because I know how emotionally invested he is.
Fiona gave me the full story, and as soon as she finally cried herself to sleep I put on some normal people clothes and snuck over to Isaacs place.
"Zac, let me in." I said as I knocked on his front door. It was seven AM and I wasn't in the mood to beg.
"Go away Soph." He replied from the other side and I rolled my eyes.
"I know you need a hug. Now open this damn door."
After a few moments of silence I heard the front door unlock and Isaac was standing there looking like hell.
His eyes were red and puffy, and when I opened my arms he practically fell into them. We hugged for a long time silently on his door step until Isaac finally pulled away.
"You might as well come in." He said dejectedly, leading me into his living room.
"Fiona told me why happened. I'm sorry, she gets like this. She can never commit to anything, but I know that she genuinely likes you." I said in an attempt to soothe Isaac who was chugging a beer like it was a Friday night.
"Doesn't matter. I'm not going to play her game. If she wants me she has to tell me."
I respected his resolve, but couldn't just watch him fall apart without doing something about it.
"Let me tell Fiona what you told me that night in the car." I begged him but he just shook his head. " She has to do it herself, Soph. I want to be genuinely wanted for once."
I could tell that Fiona's rejection was bringing up bitter memories of Kim and that there wasn't really anything I could do to help Isaac tonight. Instead, I talked to him until he too eventually cried himself to sleep and then I drove home and slept for twelve hours straight.
Too much has happened lately that's stressed me out. My two best friends refuse to spend time with each other, and finals are on their way. Things with Thomas and I are amazing at least and each day that passes brings me closer to graduation. Closer to a real relationship with the man I love.
I stopped going to the coffee shop that Clara works at, but I heard she got a second job at my favorite bar so I can't really go there either which sucks because Fiona and Isaac really like to drink lately.
Hmm I wonder why.
It's Thursday night and I'm closing down the library. It's deathly quiet as I check in returned books, my eyelids getting heavy with each passing moment.
"Excuse me miss, I'd like to return this book. I'd hate to get a late fee." I hear Thomas's flirtatious voice tease me from the other side of the counter, and I look up and smile.
"What did you even need this boat book for?" I ask with a laugh as I take it from him.
"I'm writing a nautical novel." He says honestly and I raise my eyebrows at him.
"I think Mobey Dick is taken." I joke and Thomas laughs, his eyes squinting and dimples showing.
"So that's what we're calling it now? I mean I know it's big but.."
I smack Thomas in the arm with his book and roll my eyes.
"You're a big child you know that?" I tease and he just nods.
My goodness I love him so much.
No one is in the library so Thomas follows me around as I shelve all of the returned books for the day.
We laugh and joke and carry on until the return cart is empty, but just as I'm about to leave the non-fiction section Thomas grabs my wrist and slams my back against the shelves, his hot mouth coming down on mine like fire.
"What are you doing?" I say with a worried expression. "We could get caught."
"No one is here my love." He counters and I sigh.
"Kiss me." I demand and Thomas happily complies, our tongues sliding against each others in a heated show of lust.
Eventually our forbidden dance ends and Thomas and I straighten our clothing and walk out of the shelves like nothing ever happened.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" He asks me with a smile and laugh, nodding my head yes.
I mouth I love you and Thomas whispers it back before making his way out of the library.
I try to ignore the arousal between my legs as I finish locking up the library, but if I'm being honest it's incredibly difficult.
I fish my keys out of my purse as I walk to my car, the parking lot is practically empty and the night is dark. I get to park close to the building because I'm technically staff so I don't ever feel like I'm not safe.
I'm about to open my car door but before I Can I feel strong hands grab me and twist me around, my back hitting with a painful thud against the hard metal.
"I can't fucking believe you." Michael seethes just inches from my face.
"You blew me off for that old ass Professor?" Michael is beyond angry as he holds me in a painful grasp, my wrists starting to bruise from the pressure.
"I don't know what your talking about!" I cry out, trying to kick him or wriggle free.
"Oh stop fucking lying, I saw you both eating each other's faces in the library." Michael gives a terrifying throaty growl.
"I knew I didn't like the way he looked at you. Is that who you were thinking about on Valentine's Day? You're a fucking whore, you know that?!"
I spit in Michael's face, my eyes squinting in anger.
"Fuck you!" I shout, trying to sound more confident than I actually am.
"You know, Sophia. I really did fucking like you. I could have even seen a future with you, but you went and fucked that up. A futures definitely off the table but I'll make you a deal."
My body goes cold at Michael's words. He leans and kisses my neck, his breathe hot and unwelcome on my skin.
"Either I tell the dean about your little affair, and I'm sure there's proof on the library cameras, or you give me what I want." Michael whispers right against my ear.
"Fuck me. Fuck me and I'll take your slutty little secret to the grave."
The blood drains from my face and my stomach lurches as Michael gives me my ultimatum.
"Are you insane? You can't be serious!" I yell, trying not to cry.
"I'm dead serious Sophia. I'll give you twenty four hours to decide. Either this time tomorrow I'm balls deep inside of you, or Thomas is packing up his desk. You decide. Oh, and I'm sure you'll be expelled too."
Michael lets me go and starts walking backwards away from me. My legs feel so weak as I struggle to think of what I should do.
"I look forward to hearing from you, sweetheart." Michael says with a sickening laugh as he crosses the parking lot.
I can't let Thomas get fired, but I also can't give Michael what he wants.
I hunch over, vomiting the entire contents of my stomach onto the parking lot.
After I feel like I can see and think properly again I get into my car and rush over to Thomas's place.
I slam my car door shut and run up to his front door where I bang over and over again on the hard wood.
"I'm coming, I'm coming." I hear Thomas call from the other side.
He's smiling as he opens the door, but it instantly falls as he sees me crying.
"What's going on?" He asks me, pulling me inside and shutting the door.
His hands cup either side of my face in concern and I tell him everything that happened through violent sobs and convulsions.
"That fucking sick son of a bitch!" Thomas yells and starts pacing his living room. He runs frantic hands over his face and kicks his couch in unfiltered anger.
"Fuck him. I'll resign, I don't care." Thomas says as he grips the back of his chair, his knuckles turning white.
"I'm not going to let you lose your job over this, Thomas! I would also get kicked out and lose all of my credits." I argue.
"Then what do you suggest? Fucking him?" Thomas says almost accusingly.
"What? No I didn't say that! I'm just saying we need to think of something else."
"You heard him, Sophia, there is nothing else. I'm such a fucking idiot, if I had just kept my mouth to myself in the library none of this would have happened."
I cover my eyes as I cry, hating that Thomas sees me like this. I'm not a cryer, or at least I wasn't until this year. Now I'm practically a cry baby.
"Call him right now and tell him to rat us out." Thomas tells me, but I just shake my head no.
"What do you mean no? Those are our only choices, and frankly I'm mad that you didn't tell him no right to his face!"
"You're not thinking clearly, Thomas! There so much at stake here!" I argue, anger bubbling up in my stomach.
"We're at stake, Sophia!" Thomas counters and it feels like a punch to the gut.
"You know what, I can't believe you. I'm leaving." He says suddenly, grabbing his keys off of the counter.
"Where do you think you're going?!" I yell after him but he just spits out an ugly response.
"I don't fucking know, but anywhere is better than here."
And then he slams the door in my face.
***