Your POV
~where last episode left off~
Stan: Finally, after all these long years of waiting, you're actually here!!! *stretches his arms wide for a hug* Brother!!!
Man: *punches Stan*
Stan: Ow!!! What the heck was that for?!?
Man: This was an insanely risky move, restarting the portal!!! Didn't you read my warnings?!?
Stan: Warnings smarnings!!! How's about a thanks for saving you from what appears to be-, I don't know, some kind of sci-fi sideburn dimension?!?
Man: Thank you?!? You really think I'm gonna thank you after what you did thirty years ago?!?!?
Stan: What I did?!?!?!? Why you ungrateful-!!!!! *launches a punch which the man avoids and holds his arms stopping his from fighting* Don't except me to go easy on you just because you're family!!!
Man: *pins Stan on the ground*
Mabel: Hey, hi, Mabel here. Quick question: what the heck is going on here?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Man: *lets Stan go* Stan, you didn't tell me there were children down here. *looks at Soos* And some sort of large hairless gopher?
Soos: *laughs* I get that a lot!
Stan: *stands up and gestures at the twins* Those two are your family, Poindexter. Shermy's grandkids.
Man: I-... I have a niece and nephew...?!? *goes over to Mabel, kneels down and shakes her hand* Greetings! Do kids still say greetings? I haven't been in this dimension for a really long time.
Mabel: Whoa, six-fingered hand shake?!? It's a full fingered friendlier than normal!!!
Man: *laughs* I like this kid! She's weird!
Dipper: I-... I can't believe it...!!! You're the author of the journals!!!
Man: *takes out journal #1* You've read my journals?
Dipper: I-I haven't just read them, I've lived them!!! *starts pacing around excitedly* I've been waiting for so long to meet you, I-I don't know what to say, I have so many questions, I *breathes quickly and heavily* Ohhhh, I think I'm gonna through up...!!!
You: *pat his back as you cover your nose and mouth* Just let it out, dude.
Dipper: *gags* No no, false alarm! *gags* Just need to write it out!
You: *back away a bit* ... he gets like this when he's excited, it's normal.
Mabel: Normal for him, it's just plainly weird.
You and Mabel: *laugh*
Man: *looks at you* You...
You: Huh?
Man: You seem... familiar.
You: !!!!
Man: *shakes his head* Listen, they'll be time for introductions later. But first: tell me, Stan, are there any security breaches?!? Does anyone else know about this portal?!?
Stan: No, just us. Also maybe he entire US government.
Man: The WHAT?!? *looks at the tv monitor in the other room*
Power: *tv* Fan out, we're not going anywhere 'till we find Stan Pines and those kids!!!
Man: *sigh* Ok, it's alright, got a while before they find this room. We just need to lay low and think of a plan!
Mabel: Well, looks like we're stuck down here for a while! Who wants to tell us their entire mysterious backstory?!?
Man: *as he writes in journal #1* Yes, I have some questions about all this myself, Stanley.
You: Wait, Stanley?!?
Mabel: But your name is Stanford!
Man: Wait, you took my name?!?!?!? What have you been doing all these years, you knucklehead?!?!?!?
Dipper: Yeah, Grunkle Stan, no more lies!!! You owe us some answers!!! What's the deal with this portal?!?
You: Why did you keep this a secret?!?
Mabel: And what happened between you and your brother?!?
Soos: I'm hoping all this aligns with my fanfics, Stan, if not I will be very disappointed!!!
Stan: Ok, ok ok, I know I have a lot of explaining to do. It all started a lifetime ago, 1960 something, Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey. I lived with my ma and pa in the Lead Paint District in the family pawn shop. Dad was a strict man, tough as a cinderblock and not easily impressed. Mom was a pathological liar which served her well as a phone physic. And then there was my nerdy twin brother Stanford. As if his abnormal high IQ wasn't enough, he also had a rare birth defect: six fingers in each hand which might have explained his obsession with sci-fi mystery weirdness. As for me, I had what mom liked to call personality. But as different as we were, we were the perfect team. And everyday we'd wander the beach looking for adventure. Those were the good times, those bullies may have been right about us not making many friends, but when push comes to shove you only really need one. Ford's brain seemed to get more impressive every year. So did our pet project. Sure I got more than my fair share of trouble, but when your brother's the smartest kid in school you've always got a leg up on the competition. The future was looking bright, for both of us. 'Till one day...
~flashback to teenage Stan and Ford sitting in class, Ford writing while Stan ate snacks~
Intercom: Pines twins to the principal's office. Pines twins to the principal's office.
Stan: Ah, great. What is it this time?
Stan and Ford: *go to the secretary room before the principal's office*
Secretary: Not you, *points at Ford with her pen* Him.
Stan: Meh. *sits on a nearby chair*
Ford: *enters the office to see his parents talking with the principal, then he sits in between his parents*
Principal: Now, Mr. Pines, I'd like to speak with you very frankly, if I may.
Filbrick: Very frankly is the only way I speak.
Principal: You have two sons: one of them in incredibly gifted, the other one is standing outside this room and he's name's Stanley.
Mrs. Pines: What are you saying?
Principal: I'm saying your son Stanford is a genius!!! All his teachers are going bananas over his science fair experiment!!! You ever head of West Coast Tech?!? Best college in the country!!! *gives Ford a pamphlet* Their graduates turn science fiction into science fact!!! The admissions team is visiting tomorrow to check out Stanford's experiment!!! Your son may be a future millionaire, Mr. Pines!
Filbrick: I'm impressed!
Mrs. Pines: *thinks for a bit* But what about our little free spirit Stanley?
Principal: That clown? At this rate he'll be lucky to graduate high school! Look, there's a saltwater taffy store on the dock and somebody's gotta get paid to scrape the barnacles off of it. Stanford's going places! But hey, look on the bright side, at least you'll have one son here in New Jersey forever!
~skip to Stan and Ford on some swings at the beach~
Stan: Haha, joke's on them if they think you want to go to some stuffy college on the other side of the country. Once we get the Stan'o War complete it's gonna be beaches, babes, and international treasure hunting for us!!!
Ford: Look, Stan, I can't pass up a chance like this! This school has cutting edge programs and multi-dimensional paradigm theory!
Stan: Beep boop, I am a nerd robot. That's you, that's what you sound like.
Ford: *chuckles* Oh well, if the college board isn't impressed with my experiment tomorrow then ok, I'll do the treasure hunting thing!
Stan: And if they are?
Ford: Well, then I guess you better come visit me on the other side of the country! *slightly punches Stan as he chuckles, then leaves*
Stan: ...
~end flashback~
Stan: Without Ford I was half of a dynamic duo. I couldn't make it out of there without him. And now thanks to that dumb college I was gonna loose my brother forever!
~flashback to Stan walking by the science fair projects then stops at Ford's~
Stan: *throws the bag of snacks on the ground* This is all your fault, you dumb machine!!! *punches the table which causes a piece of the machine to yank off* Oh no, oh no no, what did I do?!? *puts the piece back* There, alright, good as new! ...probably! *puts a blanket over it and tiptoes away*
~skip to morning as Ford fixes his bowtie beside his machine as three people walk over~
Ford: *takes a deep breath and smiles*
Man: Alright, kid. Show us what you got.
Ford: Ok! Well, what would you say if I told you the future of technology was beneath this sheet?!? *takes off the blanket*
Man: I'd say we wasted a car trip.
Ford: What?!? *looks at his machine* But it was stable yesterday!!! A-a fuse must've blown or something!!!
Man: *as he covers up Ford's name off the list* Kid, a perpetual motion machine has one job: to not stop. I don't think your West Coast Tech material. *walks away with the two people following behind*
Ford: No, wait, don't go!!! I worked so hard!!! *finds the back of snacks Stan left earlier, then crumbles it in anger*
~skip to Stan playing paddleball on the living room couch while watching tv~
Stan: One paddle paddle paddle, two paddle paddle- Man, that Jackie-O, what a fox!
Ford: *enters and stands in front of the tv glaring at Stan*
Stan: Hey, what's the word, Sixer?
Ford: Can you explain what this was doing next to my broken project?!? *pulls out the empty snack bag*
Stan: ...ok, I might have accidentally been horsing around-
Ford: This was no accident, Stan!!! You did this!!! You did this because you couldn't handle me going to college on my own!!!
Stan: Look, it was a mistake!!! Although if you think about it, maybe there's a silver lining!!! Huh~?!? Treasure hunting~?!?
Ford: Are you kidding me?!?!? Why would I want to do anything with the person who sabotaged my entire future?!?!? *pushes Stan who lands on the couch*
Filbrick: *takes Stan by the shirt* You did what, you knucklehead?!?
Mrs. Pines: *holding a baby* Stanley, what's going on in here?!?
Stan: Wait no- I can explain-!!! It was a mistake-!!!
Filbrick: *throws Stan out of the house* You ignoramus! Your brother was gonna be our ticket out of this dump!!! All you ever do is lie and cheat and ride on your brother's coattails! Well, this time you cost our family potential millions! And until you make us a fortune, you're not welcome in this household!!! *throws him a bag*
Stan: What?!? *sees Ford on the upstairs window* Stanford, tell him he's being crazy!!!
Ford: ... *looks at the West Coast Tech pamphlet and closes the curtains*
Stan: Stanford? Don't leave me hanging! High six?
FilBrick: *closes the door*
Stan: Fine, I can make it on my own!!! I don't need you!!! I don't need anyone!!! I'll make millions and you'll rue the day the day you turn your back on me!!! *gets in the car and drives away*
~end of flashback~
Stan: Thanks to one dumb mistake I had no brother, no home, no nothing. But I had a plan to fix everything.
Mabel: Oh, this story's so sad!!!! I know what you two little broken teacups need!!! To hug it out!!!
Everyone: ...
Mabel: Hug it out!!!
Everyone: ...
Mabel: Hug train's coming in the station!!! Hug-apalooza!!! 2000!!!
Stan: Kid, will you knock that off?!? I'm trying to tell my life story here!!! I had decided I wasn't gonna show my face at home 'till I proved I could make something of myself. Unfortunately, the treasure hunting business was slow going. Apparently gold is some kind of rare metal. Luckily I struck another kind of gold! In sales!!! I had made my mark alright!!! Unfortunately so did the Shammies. Apparently the cheap dye I used to color them only made stains worse. Customers weren't crazy about that. Luckily they were chasing me with Stan co-brand pitchforks. I was officially band from New Jersey. But with a quick name change, Steve Pinington was ready to take on Pennsylvania! It didn't work. I traveled the whole country, sometimes outside of it, always one step ahead of the law looking for something that would be my big break.
Mabel: Whoa!!!
You: That explains all the fake IDs.
Dipper: But wait, what about you? Did you end up going to your dream school?
Ford: Not exactly. I had to go to Backupsmore University. In a place like that I had to work twice as hard, luckily that's what I do best. I went from undergrad to PhD three years ahead of schedule, wrote a thesis that was nationally ranked, and was awarded an enormous grant for my own scientific research!!! But what to study...? My whole life I've been teased for my six fingers, but that got me thinking about anomalies: things that were odd, unusual, statistically improbable! And according to my investigations, there was one place with a higher concentration of these things than anywhere else, a small lumber town in roadkill county Oregon: Gravity Falls.
Stan: Meanwhile, your old Grunkle Stan doing great. I'd come up with a sophisticated new business strategy. I was in great shape, living on my own and the best part was I didn't need help from nobody.
Ford: I was heading out on my own as well. I set to work using my grant money to investigate the strange properties of this town. But what would I found here? I began to investigate at once! I knew I'd have to record my findings. I began to keep a journal-
Dipper: *fangirl scream* The journals!!!!!
Everyone: ...
Dipper: Sorry, sorry, *clears his throat* just got excited there, about the journals. Keep- keep talking.
Ford: I began to keep a journal-
Dipper: *fangirl scream*
Ford: *clears his throat* Just gonna ignore that. There were anomalies everywhere! And the more I looked, the more I saw...!!! It was finally a place where I felt at home. But something nagged at me. Where did it all come from? I seemed to me the answer must lie outside of our world. A dimension of weirdness leaking into ours. I realized the only way to understand Gravity Falls would be to build a gateway, a portal to the source of its weirdness. But I couldn't make it alone. I decided to call up my old college buddies: Fiddleford McGucket, a young but brilliant mechanic who was wasting his talent trying to make personal computers in some garage in Palo Alto, and Joseph (l/n), an intelligent man who worked as an assistant at a faraway lab.
You: !!!
Ford: Many long nights were spent perfecting the machine. It would be the crowning achievement of my studies, an answer to the source of this town's anomalies. The time had come to test it. But something went wrong, Fiddleford had gotten tangled with the dummy and entered the portal. Luckily Joseph and I were able to pull him back. He started speaking gibberish, and then started claiming that this machine was dangerous. He and Joseph started arguing about shutting down the portal and eventually they both left, Fiddleford not wanting to continue the project and Joseph wanting to be alone. I was in over my head, and feared I was loosing my sanity! I needed help, someone I could trust.
~flashback to Stan walking up to the shack in the snow~
Stan: *is about to knock on the door* You haven't seen your brother in over ten years, it's ok, he's family, he won't bite. *knocks on the door*
Ford: *opens the door and points a crossbow at Stan* Who is it?!? Have you come to steal my eyes?!?!?!?
Stan: ... Well I can always count on you for a warm welcome.
Ford: *puts the crossbow down* Stanley, did anyone follow you? Anyone at all?
Stan: Hello to you too, pal.
Ford: *pulls Stan inside, then shines a small flashlight in Stan's eyes*
Stan: Ah! *pushes Ford's hand away* Hey! *pushes Ford away* What is this?!?
Ford: Sorry, I just had to make sure you weren't-... uh, it's nothing. Come in, come in. *walks through the shack followed by Stan*
Stan: Look, you gonna explain what's going on here? You're acting like mom after a 10th cup of coffee.
Ford: *searching through some things* Listen, there isn't much time, I've made huge mistakes and I don't know who I can trust anymore!
Stan: Hey, easy there, let's talk this through, ok?
Ford: I have something to show you, something you won't believe.
Stan: Look, I've been around the world, ok? Whatever it is, I'll understand.
~time skip to Stan and Ford being in front of the portal~
Stan: There is nothing about this I understand.
Ford: It's a trans-universal gateway, a punch hole through a weak spot in our dimension. I created it to unlock the mysteries of the universe, but it could just as easily be harnessed for terrible destruction. *takes out journal #1* That's why I shut it down and hid my journals which explain how to operate it. There's only one journal left, and you are the only person I can trust to take it. *gives the journal to Stan* I have something to ask of you. Remember our plans to sail around the world on a boat?
Stan: *smiles genuinely*
Ford: Take this book, get on a boat, and sail as far away as you can! To the edge of the Earth! Bury it where no one can find it!
Stan: *stares at Ford in disbelief before glaring at him* That's it?!? You finally want to see me after ten years and it's to tell me to get as far away as possible?!?
Ford: Stanley, you don't understand what I'm up against!!! What I've been through!!!
Stan: No, you don't understand what I've been through!!! I've been to prison in three different countries!!! I once had to chew out of the trunk of a car!!! You think you've got problems?!? I've got a mullet, Stanford!!! Meanwhile, where have you been?!? Living it up in your fancy house in the woods, selfishly hoarding your college money because you only care about yourself!!!
Ford: I'm selfish? I'm selfish, Stanley?!? How can you say that after costing me my dream school?!?!?!? I'm giving you a chance to do the first worthwhile thing in your life and you won't even listen!!!
Stan: Well listen to this!!! You want me to get rid of this book?!? Fine, I'll get rid of it right now!!! *takes out a lighter and tries to burn the journal*
Ford: NO!!! *pulls it away, Stan still holding unto the journal* You don't understand!!!!
Stan: You said you wanted me to have it so I'll do what I want with it!!! *yanks it away*
Ford: My research!!! *tackles Stan causing him to drop the journal, then he runs to get it but is stopped by Stan pulling his leg*
Stan: *grabs the journal*
Ford: Stanley, give it back!!!
Stan and Ford: *go into the portal room, Stan crashing into some switches flipping them*
Stan: You want it back you're gonna have to try harder than that!!! *pushes Ford and tries to pull the journal away* You left me behind, you jerk!!! It was supposed to be us forever, you ruined my life!!!
Ford: *trying to pull away the journal* You ruined your own life!!! *kicks Stan causing his to stumble back and hit into the computers where a symbol burnt into his skin as he yelled in pain* Stanley!!! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!!! Are you o- OW!!! *gets punched by Stan and drops the journal*
Stan: Some brother you turned out to be. You care more about your dumb mysteries than your family? Well then you can have'm!!! *pushes the journal unto Ford which causing him to stumble back and start to get sucked in by the portal* Whoa, whoa, hey, what's going on...?!?
Ford: Whoa....!!! Ah, AH!!!
Stan: Hey, hey, Stanford!!!!
Ford: Stanley, Stanley, help me!!!!
Stan: Oh no, what do I do?!?!?!?
Ford: Stanley, Stanley, do something!!! *throws the journal at Stan* Stanley!!!!*gets sucked completely into the portal*
Portal: *turns off with an explosion*
Stan: *wakes up on the floor* Stanford...?!? *sees Ford's glasses on the floor, then runs over and punches the portal* Stanford, come back!!!! I-I didn't mean it!!!!! *starts pulling the lever in the center of the room* I just got'm back, I can't loose him again!!!
~end of flashback~
Stan: I'd lost him. I didn't know if he was dead or alive in some distant galaxy, but I knew his journal must have the answer to getting him back. Somehow. I didn't get much sleep that night, or the night after that. I tried for weeks to turn that dumb machine back on, but without the other two journals, it was hopeless. Finally I ran out of food, I had no choice but to go into town.
~flashback to Stan buying bread at the Dusk 2 Dawn convenience store~
Stan: *places the bread on the counter*
Ma: Just the bread then, there, stranger? That'll be 99 cents.
Stan: *checks his pockets to see he doesn't have any money*
Lazy Susan: Hey, that's no stranger!!! That must be the mysterious science guy that lives in the woods!!!
People: *start to gather around*
Stan: N-no, no, you got the wrong guy...
Toby: I've heard strange stories about that old shack.
Blubs: Yeah, mysterious lights and spooky experiments!
Pa: Gosh, I'd pay anything to see what kind of shenanigans you get up in there!
Lazy Susan: Oh, me too!!! Do you ever give tours?!?
Stan: No, really, I-... *looks at the junk he has pulled from his pockets earlier, then sighs* Yes, I do give tours! Ten-, no no, fifteen bucks a person!!!
Everyone: *stares at Stan, then pull out a lot of money*
Stan: *smiles*
Lazy Susan: Sir, what did you say your name was, you man of mystery?!?
Stan: Oh Stan-... ford, Stanford Pines.
~end of flashback~
Stan: So I came up with a plan. I couldn't leave my brother's house until I figured out how to save him, but O needed to pay his mortgage somehow. For once in my life, people were actually buying what I was selling! And so the Murder Hut was born, later renamed the Mystery Shack. Finally I found something I was good at. For once being a liar and a cheat paid off. The old me was dead, and I faked a car crash to prove it. By day I was Stanford Pines, Mr. Mystery! But by night I was down in the basement trying to bring the real Stanford back. I couldn't risk anyone learning the truth and sabotaging my mission, so I lied to everyone. The town, my family, your parents, even you kids.
Dipper: So all this time you were only trying to save your brother... Grunkle Stan, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you...
Stan: That's ok, kid, I probably wouldn't have believed me either.
Power: *from upstairs* I heard talking, it was coming from downstairs!!!
You: Oh no...!
Stan: We're too late, the agents are coming for us!!!
Mabel: What do we do?!?
Soos: Oh man!!! I was so spellbound by your dramatic tale I forgot all about those dudes!!!
Dipper: Wait, forget! That's it!!! I think I know a way we can defeat those agents!!! *takes out the memory ray from his bag and gives it to Ford with a smile*
Ford: Of course!!! I don't know how you got a hold of one if these but this is perfect!!! If I can just amplify the signal to a radio headset frequency-... *plugs some wires into the gun before looking through some viewing glass* There! Now everyone plug your ears!!! Get down, now!!!
All: *plug your ears and kneel down, then after a minute you all go upstairs and outside*
Power: What? Where am I? Why am I standing in some sort of goofy fun knick knack house?
Ford: Stand down, gentlemen! *reading a random paper* I've been sent with the latest intel from Washington. According to this very real report, the power surges of Gravity Falls were actually due to radiation from an unreported meteor shower, a total embarrassment for your whole department. Luckily I'm here to take this mess off your hands, but I'll need all of your... floppy disks and uh... 8tracks, right?
Power: Uh, everything about this case is is contained on this drive.
Trigger: *gives Ford the flash drive*
Ford: Well, what are you waiting for, a kiss on the cheek?!? Get out of here before I have your butts court-martialed!!!
Power: Uh... yes, sir. Apologies, sir. *whistles* Falls alarm, everyone!
All Guards: *leave*
Ford: *gives the flash drive to Gompers*
Dipper and Mabel: *run outside*
You, Soos, and Stan: *walk outside*
Mabel: Great uncle Stanford, that was amazing!!!
Stan: Let's not go crazy, it was serviceable.
Ford: *chuckles awkwardly* Thank you, kids, but please call be Ford.
Dipper: Sure, thanks great uncle Ford! So uh, would you mind if I ask you a couple billion questions about Gravity Falls?!?
Ford: Um, well, I-...
Stan: Alright, kids, it's been a long day and me and my brother have a lot to talk about. Why don't you hit the hay, huh?
Dipper: But it's the author!!! I've been waiting so long to ask questions about-!!!
You: Dip, I know you're excited, but let him be. This is the first time he's come back to his home in decades.
Ford: Thank you, uh...
You: (y/n), (y/n) (l/n).
Ford: *tenses a bit after hearing your last name, but then relaxes and smiles* Thank you, (y/n).
Dipper: Alright...
And so we go to bed. This day had been crazy. But there were some things that wouldn't leave my mind. Like how he found me "familiar", or his reaction to hearing my name. It was odd, but I decided to ignore it for now, I needed the rest.
Thanks for reading!!! 'Till next time!!!
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