CHAPTER EIGHT: WHEN YOU'RE READY
You were lucky that Shawn was a heavy sleeper, though getting out of his tight grip had been a true challange for such early hours - you had managed to sneak out, guilt filling your every move as you tucked yourself in your bed.
Shawn's soft snores fill the room as you face the ceiling - No matter how hard you had tried to forget about Shawn's drunken (But very much honest) words, you just couldn't.
You try to blame it on the alcohol poisoning his veins, but the alcohol doesn't make you tell lies - It makes you brave enough to tell truths. There wasn't a good enough excuse to get you out of the situation you were currently facing - Worst thing? Neither of the guys in question had any idea of this. You were so against admitting to yourself that you had feelings for both of them that there was a moment that you had believed it.
But now? Now there was no denying - No doubt.
And that was both, confusing and agonizing.
—
A week passes by faster than you would have wished, and like you had predicted - Shawn had woken up that morning with the worst hangover in the plantet and no memory whatsoever of his heartfelt drunken confession. You couldn't decide if that was good or bad, part of you wished he would wake up and you two would sort things out. But that wasn't the case.
The case was, now that you knew just a tiny bit of Shawn's feelings for you - You couldn't help but get a little fussy whenever he was around, your eyes searching for any signs of the so called feelings and stomach churning whenever he would glance at you. And you weren't too keen at the way your body would react, because you had managed to control yourself around him before, why was now any different?
Tom safely holds your hand as you two make your way to the Auditorium, cheeky grin on his lips as snow fell ever so softly on his chocolate light brown curls, leaving white spots on it - He looked straight out of a fairy tale as he opened the door for you, trying not to slip on dry and loose snow on the ground.
You loved this season, ever since you were little you had loved to watch as the powdery white snow fall slowly through your bedroom window. There was something soothing about it, perhaps it was because it reminded you of your mother and the warm feeling she would give you.
The fleecy coat around you warms you up as you enter the Auditorium, careful not to bring the sloushy snow with you, Tom is quick to find your gloved hand and intertwine his fingers with you.
His cheeks are flushed, teeth slightly chattering as his lips part letting out a cloud of fume, you smile softly as you make your way down the many stairs, finding yourselves a seat where you could watch perfectly.
You were giddy inside, eager to hear Shawn's voice once again, and as much as you hated to admit it - You were more than thrilled to hear him sing the finished song. Tom was unaware of this - Or at least he pretended to be unaware, since he saw the way you reacted to Shawn saying he had finished the song, he could only expect it to be a song about you.
Little by little the seats in the auditorium start to fill with students and proud parents, the sound of mixed voices fill your ears as Tom pulls up the armrest to lay his hand on your thigh - Rubbing gently on the fabric. You softly lay your hand above his', feeling the warm fabric against his cold skin.
He turns his head to you, laying his head on seat and smiling sweetly - Totally mesmerized by you, doe eyes staring at your red cheeks and long lashes. How couldn't he be amused by you and your effortless beauty?
The lights dim, voices fading out as the rector of the university walks through the stage with a wrinkled but happy smile on his face. The students let out and excited roar, whistling and shouting praise at him.
"How are you guys in this afternoon? I'm Isaiah Jones, for those who don't know, i'm the rector of Boston Arts University." He asks in the microphone, and the roaring increases. "We welcome the parents that came today, you are about to see what the Music faculty has been working on this semester. Please give it up for our beloved Violet Field, the director of the Music faculty here in Boston Arts University."
Roaring shouts sound as the petite blonde woman walks in stage with a kind smile as she takes the microphone.
"Each one of our students will be performing a song of their own authorship." Violet smiles proudly. "We hope you enjoy their performances, they have all worked very hard on their songs this semester."
The crowd claps eagerly as she announces the first performer. The program in your hand told you that Shawn was second to last and that only made you grow more and more anxious. Tom was amused by the performances, but in the back of his head he was just waiting to hear the kind of song Shawn would perform, knowing there was something to worry about.
"Please give it up to Shawn Mendes!." The woman announces eagerly and your breath hitches on your throat as he walks into the stage with a sheepish smile - You knew he was nervous by the light flush on his cheeks and the way he kept glancing at the ground.
His hand holds the guitar as he sits on the stool - Fixing the microphone before him and running a hand through his dark chocolate curls. His eyes search for your as if looking for comfort, and once he finds them he can't help but smile softly - You return the smile as his lips lean closer to the microphone.
"This is called 'When You're Ready'." He mumbles sheepishly as one of his hands grips the headstock of the guitar. He swallows hard, knowing that what he was about to do will push the boundaries he had built, but he had to do it - Even if it was all platonic, he had to free his feelings out of their cage.
His hands strum softly the chords as he hums slowly, nodding his head to the slow rythym. Spotlight on his face, illuminating his perfect features - You could watch him forever, flushed cheek and pink plump lips. The sweet melody fills you with memories of the night you metl, it was hard not to.
"Maybe I had too many drinks but that's just what I needed
I hope that you don't think that what I'm saying sounds conceited
When I look across the room and you're staring right back at me
Like somebody told the joke and we're the only ones laughin'." His voice is soft as he shuts his eyes slowly.
"Don't know why I tried, 'cause ain't nobody like you
Familiar disappointment, every single time I do
And every single night my arms are not around you
My mind's still wrapped around you."
The rythym fills your ears with a familiar feeling, an all too familiar feeling - Making your stomach turn.
"Baby, tell me when you're ready
I'm waitin'
Baby, anytime you're ready
I'm waitin'
Even ten years from now if you haven't found somebody
I promise, I'll be around
Tell me when you're ready
I'm waitin'." He flutters his eyes open, locking his topaz eyes with yours - Voice sweet as honey rolls out of his mouth as his eyes sparkle.
You bite your inner cheek anxiously at his actions, but you can't find the strength in you to look away.
"What if my dad is right, and he says that you're the one
No, I can't even argue, I won't even fight him on it
Call you when it's late, and I know that you're in bed
'Cause I'm three hours back, seems like you're always six ahead." A soft grin tugs on his lips as he sings, curls framing his lips - He looked like he was exactly where he belonged, among the spotlight and the soft music.
"And I don't know why I tried, 'cause there ain't nobody like you
Familiar disappointment every single time I do
And every single night my arms are not around you
My mind's still wrapped around you." His eyes locked with your shamelessly as every word drips with softness - He watches as a smile softly grows on your lips, and that's enough for Shawn. He could live with that smile on your face forever.
Tom's hands grip tight on the fabric of his jeans - If he wasn't sure before, he was sure as hell now.
"Baby, tell me when you're ready
I'm waitin'
Baby, anytime you're ready
I'm waitin'
Even ten years from now if you haven't found somebody
I promise, I'll be around
Tell me when you're ready
I'm waitin', yeah." He licks his lips quickly - His heart beating fast as your lips part slightly in amusement.
Tom takes a sideways glance at you - Watching as you watch Shawn sing with a dazzled look on your face, the sight makes him bite his bottom lip and send a glare at Shawn. But he was too busy sharing every piece of his soul with you and only you.
"And if I have to, I'll wait forever
Say the word, and I'll change my plans
Yeah, you know that we fit together
I know your heart like the back of my hand." He shuts his eyes briefly as he hits every note perfectly, showing his pearly teeth as he raises his foot slightly off the ground - You smile softly, watching him happily.
"Baby, any time you're ready
I'm waitin', oh
Even ten years from now if you haven't found somebody
I promise, I'll be around
Tell me when you're ready
I'm waitin', I'm waitin'." He sings wholeheartedly, still shamelessly looking at you in the eyes.
Perhaps he didn't remember his drunken heartfelt confession, but this was the sober equal of that. The strumming fades away slowly as well as his smile and the beating of your heart increases.
The loud sound of claps snaps Shawn and you out of it, your eyes widen before taking a sideways glance at Tom - He has a glazed look on his face, and by the way he gripped onto the fabric of his jeans and the clenching of his jaw, you knew he wasn't happy.
Shawn on the other hand, had the brightest of smiles plastered on his face before walking out and making his way to backstage. He sighs deeply, feeling the beating of his heart slow down just enough for him to process what he had done - He knew why he had written it and why he had to make sure you heard every word. He had to make sure you knew that he would wait for you, because he was sure there was no way he could forget you - No way he could just erase his heart aching feelings.
His classmates pat him on the back as a way of congratulating him as he smiles gratefully. Little did they know what he was hidding underneath that pearly white smile.
—
"That was amazing, Shawn!." You breathe out eagerly as he walks out of the building with his guitarcase in hand. He looks at you and chuckles softly as he stands in front of Tom and you.
"You liked it?." He asks unsure and you nod slowly before taking a step closer and wrapping your arms around him. He can't help it - He buries his face on the crook of your neck and steadies you with his hand.
"I loved it." You breathe and those words are enough for Shawn's heart to beat out of his chest. You take a step back, returning to your place beside Tom - He places a hand on your lower back.
Tom and Shawn share awkward glances and you bite your inner cheek.
"Great song, Mate." Tom compliments with a snicker, Shawn simply nods mildly - When it came to Tom that's how Shawn was, silent. "I wonder where you got your inspiration." Tom teases and you look at him slightly baffled.
Shawn chuckles dryly, glancing the other way before locking eyes with Tom - Now that was a game he was interesed in playing.
"I have found my inspiration this semester, it was really easy." Shawn replies dauntingly and Tom nods faking amusement.
You clear your throat, the two guys looking at you promptly.
"Well I'm starving, why don't we go grab a bite, huh? You must be famished, Rockstar." You try to smooth down the tension in the air - But it was useless, the situation was beyond repair.
"Shawn!." A high-pitched voice yells from behind Shawn, he turns his back immediately.
"Aaliyah?!." He shouts back with pure astonishment as he places the guitarcase on the ground and runs towards a girl only a few inches smaller than him, dark brunetter hair and a big smile on her flushed face.
He wraps his arms around her and rocks her back and forth softly before placing her feet back on the ground and hugging a dirty blonde woman with kind green eyes.
"Mum!." Shawn breathes blissfully as he embraces her lovingly. "I thought you guys weren't coming." He comments departing from the woman and hugging a dark haired man, who you couldn't only assume was his father.
"You thought we would miss your first showcase? I mean you are not the favorite child but we are not that mean." Aaliyah says jokingly and Shawn rolls his eyes as the dark haired man pats his back fatherly.
"That was truly something, Son." The man compliments with a soft smile.
Tom and you stand there, watching the scene unfold - Unsure if you should leave or wait until Shawn is finished to bid your goodbye's. The family stands only a few feet away from you, being able to hear every single one of their words.
"So who was the girl, huh?." Aaliyah asks as she raises both of her eyebrows and this makes you stiffen up as well as Tom.
Shawn crosses his arms over his chest - Acting as if he had no idea what Aaliyah was talking about.
"What girl?."
"The girl you kept looking all the time, don't pretend you don't know what I am talking about, Shawn - She was sitting a few rows in front of us." She cocks an eyebrow as she narrows her brown eyes at him.
"Aaliyah made a bet, she said she was your girlfriend." Shawn's father comments with a teasing smile and Shawn blows a raspberry.
Tom tugs on your coat, making you look up at him as he gestures with his head to leave.
"She is not my girlfriend, in fact-." He turns around, watching as you two turn on your heel to leave. "(y/n)! Tom!." He shouts.
Shit.
You turn back around with a kind smile and Shawn gestures the both of you to join the group - You can see their curious eyes dart from Tom and then back to you.
"This is (y/n)." Shawn introduces, gesturing you. You smile kindly as you shake their hands softly. "This is my family."
"It's a pleasure to meet you all." You greet softly
"I'm Aaliyah." The girl comments with the same pearly white smile Shawn was known for. You smile back at her.
"Likewise, honey - You can call me Karen." The kind woman smiles politely as her faded british accent fills your ears and you nod accordingly.
"Manny Mendes." The man smiles at you, the resemblance with Shawn is uncanny - You could totally see Shawn's features on the man's face.
"And this is (y/n)'s boyfriend-." Shawn trails off with slight resentment as Tom shakes their hands with a dashing smile - Their smiles slightly faded away at the new information, they had hoped Aaliyah's theory was right. "Tom." He finishes with a fake smile.
"Nice to meet you." Tom says in his thick as honey accent and charming smile.
"So, honey - We were thinking we could go have dinner before we leave." Karen's soft voice rings through your ears.
"Yeah we can catch up on all the stuff you have been doing." Aaliyah interjects with the same smile and Shawn nods eagerly.
"Sure! We can leave right now." He replies with a bright smile, now that his family was here it was is if the void in his heart had been partly filled by their presence.
"Oh we should get going as well, but it was truly a pleasure to have met you." You announce softly as you pat Tom's chest lightly.
"Nonesense, come with us - We would love to know more about Shawn's friends." Manny suggests with a polite smile and a deep voice.
"Oh no, it's alright - We should let you catch up with him." You glance at Shawn.
That and the fact that Shawn and Tom are everything but friends and could possibly rip each other's throats if they are in the same place for more than five minutes.
"It's no bother, really sweetheart." Karen insists with her kind green eyes locked with yours, you bite your inner cheek lightly.
"You should come-." Shawn agrees softly, part of him wanting for you to get to know his parents. "I mean if you want to." He stammers, rocking on his heel nervously.
Tom glances at you, he knew he had told you that he didn't want you to have to choose between Shawn and him - But damn it, he so wanted you to choose him over and over again.
You knew that this was more than deciding whether to go to a dinner with Shawn's parents or not - This was a decision that could go sideways. one that could torn your heart apart once again. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide - All eyes where on you expectantly as they waited for your answer.