A/N- Look at this cute picture of joe! Should I add Steve more? Lemme know if you want some more mama steve!
Janes POV- 3 weeks after last chapter!
I love him. The way his face lights up when he sees me. The way he loves to tickle me. The way he always blushes when our friends tease us. And the way he makes me happy.
I'm in love with him
Which is why I can't tell him how I feel about him going. Is that bad?
You know the saying that goes, "if you truly love someone, let it go." I honestly think it's how I feel. But seriously? That's why I don't want him to go. I love him too much to let him go. Maybe that saying is just a bunch of crap.
I don't want to sound selfish, so I'll just tell him how proud I am of him, and how he should definitely go.
But inside, my heart breaks every time he mentions it. I feel like my heart shatters. He looks happy that he's leaving. I know that sounds unfair.. but it's true.
He wants to leave. Maybe he wants to leave me too.
Tears prickle in my eyes, as I'm knocked out of my train of thought by a knock on my bedroom door.
"Come downstairs for breakfast." My mom chirps walking back downstairs.
I throw the blankets off of me and skip down the wooden stairs.
I'm greeted by my dad sitting at the dining table. I sit down making small talk with him, while mom makes our plates.
"So, is Mike going to that program?" She asks sitting down next to my dad. "I think so. We haven't really talked about it." I murmur trying to avoid the subject.
"You okay el?" My dad says furrowing his brows. (El is short for Eleanor. My middle name. That's what dad calls me sometimes.)
"Yeah. I'm fine." I fake smile, trying to hide the fact that I'm most definitely not fine.
He nods, continuing to devour his breakfast. "Jane may I speak to you after breakfast please?" My mom whispers with a concerned expression on her face.
I nod slowly, picking at my food. "Are you gonna eat your breakfast hun?" She frowns lightly.
"I'm not that hungry actually." I mumble staring at my food. "I'll take it." My dad mumbles with his mouth full of eggs.
"All yours." I chuckle passing the plate over to him, as he kindly accepts.
My mom leads me to the living room setting me down on the couch. "What's wrong mom?" I ask sitting up.
"You've been distant lately. Is there something going on between you and Mike?" She questions with a concerned look.
"No." I reply bluntly, not exactly wanting to speak about it.
"I know when you're lying. Is this about the offer? Please tell me, I understand." She smiles grabbing my hand.
"I- I don't want him to go." I stutter, while my eyes burn. "I can't tell him that. It's selfish, he deserves this, he's worked so hard." I murmur.
"Jane. It's not selfish. And you are wrong hun.. very wrong. You need to tell him how you feel. Honestly sweetie i don't want to sound harsh, but if he goes, he needs to know that y'all have a chance of not making it." She replies.
"I don't want to lose him mom. I c-can't." I cry, burying my face in her shoulder. "Tell him how you feel, before it's too late." She rubs my back comforting me.
I nod, slowly getting up to get ready. "Thank you mom." I turn around facing her, giving her a small smile, before walking back upstairs.
I quickly take a shower, and get dressed. I wore a back adidas crop top, with leggings, a green bomber jacket, and I topped it off with my adidas sneakers.
After I got dressed, I brushed my slightly wavy hair out, deciding not to do anything with it today. I put on some concealer and chapstick, and walked over to my jewelry box.
I wore the necklace Mike got me for my birthday, and the bracelet he got me, for Christmas. He got us both matching bracelets, so that we'll we remember we'll always be together.
They both had our date in weird letter form, and it said "M+J." (The letter form is like IV or II, if you were confused.)
After I was ready, I grabbed my purse, phone, and walked out the door. I decided to walk to Mikes, since it wasn't too far, and walks help me think.
I knocked on the door rapidly, considering it was -8 degrees outside!
Nancy opened up, smiling at my presence. "Jane! How have you been." She embraces me in a hug. I hug her back tightly, smiling.
"I've been good, how about you?" "Good. Mike hasn't stopped talking about you by the way. Did he know you were coming?" She asks furrowing her brows.
"No, this was kind of last minute." I shrug. "He will be so happy to see you!" She smiles.
"Where is everyone?" I ask looking around. "Ava is with my parents, and Steve and I are actually about to leave. We were checking up on Mike." She smiles.
"Is he busy?" I ask, feeling guilty for barging in. "No not at all. He's in his room." She smiles. I nod thanking her, as I make my way upstairs.
I approach his door, as I hear him shuffling around. I slowly open it, to see him looking around his room.
"Hey." I mumble startling him. He turns around, and smiles once he notices who it is. "Jane! I missed you." He rushes over, picking me up, and tackling me in a hug. "I missed you too." I chuckle hugging him back.
"What are you doing here?" He questions, still smiling. "I actually wanted to speak to you about something." I murmur, sitting down on his bed.
"What is it?" He asks, sitting down next to me. "The truth is. I've been lying to you." I look away, disappointed in myself.
"What do you mean?" He asks with a confused but concerned face.
"I'm just really scared of what's going to happen to us if you go Mike. I mean, it's six months all the way in New York. I can't lose you." I say as my eyes sting, with tears prickling in my eyes.
"Jane, I thought you said we could make this work. You said we're strong enough. I thought you were okay with this." He replies, looking hurt.
"I know, but if you go, there's a good chance we will drift apart. Long distance never works."
"You don't want me to go?" He asks looking disappointed.
"Of course I want you to go! I don't want to hold you back from an amazing opportunity. I feel like I'm the only reason holding you back. And I don't want you to regret it if you don't go." I mumble.
"So what are you saying?" He asks staring at me coldly.
"I'm saying.. if you go. Maybe we should take a break." I mumble, as a single tear falls across my left cheek.
"W-what? Jane, please no. Don't do this." He cries, as tears spill out of his eyes. "Trust me it hurts me so much saying that. But I don't think it will work. But I don't want you to not go, just because of me." I cry looking away.
"That's not fair Jane! I love you, you love me. We can make this work. I can't lose you.. ever." He says grabbing my hands, and looking into me deeply.
"I'm sorry. But I'm doing it for you. I love you so much. I'm in love with you, can't you see? And if we're really meant to be, then when you come back, we will go back to the way we were." I mutter, trying so hard not to break down in front of him. He does that for me.
"Please, don't leave me. Please." He cries, looking as if his heart was just broke. "It's for the best."
"No. No it's not. And you can try to push me away, but I won't let you! I wasn't gonna go in the first place Jane! Because of you!"
"That's the problem!" I cry. "You're turning a life time opportunity, for some stupid girl!"
"I'm turning down a life time opportunity for a wonderful girl, that I love so much. Jane, I would never leave you. I promised you that. I don't see the problem! I would turn down anything for you, I would take a bullet for you if I had to, because I love you!" He yells, as tears keep falling out of both of our eyes.
"I don't want you to regret it, someday. And blame me for it." I mumble, looking away.
"The only thing I should be blaming you for, is the way you're pushing me away! Well news flash Plain Jane, I'm not going anywhere. Stop pushing me away like this! I love you!" He yells, holding my arms tightly.
"I'm sorry." I mumble. My throat feels tight, as I realize, Mike is right. I'm pushing him away, because I'm scared. "I love you so much." I cry, as he pulls me in to his chest, tightly wrapping our arms around each other.
"I was just, so scared." I say, into his chest, wetting his shirt with my tears. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Ever." He whispers, rubbing his hands through my hair, holding me tighter than he ever has before.
We stand there, holding each other, crying into each other arms, for what seems like hours. He's the reason, I wake up in the morning. It's almost like he's the oxygen, that I need to breathe. I know that sounds cheesy, but I just love him so much.
~~~~
Mike and I, spent the day together cooped up in his basement, watching movies and talking. I decided to go home, since it was getting pretty late.
He offered to give me a ride home, but I declined, saying I liked walking. After hours of convincing him I was fine, he finally gave in.
We stepped outside, as I realized it got a little warmer, but it was still pretty chilly outside. Mike immediately ran upstairs, leaving me confused.
He ran back down with one of his hoodies. "Here. Keep it, I have plenty." He smiles handing it to me.
I gladly accept it, thanking him, as he pulls me in for a hug.
"I'll see you tomorrow, I love you." He says kissing the top of my head. "I love you too." See you tomorrow." I reply, giving him a sweet kiss on the jaw, letting my lips linger on his skin, leaving him flustered and blushing.
I turn around smirking, as I walk off. "You're such a tease!" He yells jokingly, as I just chuckle smiling. "I'll get you back Plain Jane. You'll see!"
I nod my head giggling, as I turn keep walking.
I decide to take the shorter way, and turn down the alley. As I was walking down the dark alley, I couldn't help but feel as though I was being watched.
I brushed it off, as I kept walking, until I heard a branch snap behind me.
I quickly turn around, to seeing no one. "Hello?!" I shout. Lucky me, no answer. I start shaking, getting this weird feeling, until I feel a hand cover my mouth, as the other holds me tight.
I try to scream, but am shushed by a very familiar voice. "Sh, you don't want to draw attention on yourself sweetie." I hear, as the voice shushes me, holding onto me tightly and uncomfortably.
I turn my eyes to look up. Only to see the one and only. Jacob Sartorius.
Haha, bet you didn't expect that! Guess you'll just have to wait and see what happens.
- Valerie