Remus rushed from her house after she had kicked him out. He really must have done it. Running away. That was all he seemed to do. And he felt terrible about that. Being weak and worthless to the Order. All he could do was run. Run from he problems. Run from the ones he loved. Run from ... Tonks.
Why? Why did he run? His heartbeat quicker with every step. His heart was breaking, piece by piece, and falling to the dirt, never to be recovered. Tears began to well up in his eyes. Hopefully the note would explain everything to her. He prayed for her safety, hoping she wouldn't chase after him.
He really did love her. Everything about her. Her little imperfections made her seem so perfect. He felt his heart break at the thought of her tears. Tears and pain that he'd caused. But it would be a good thing in the end, right? She wouldn't love him anymore ...
Love him. Those specific words struck a thought in his mind. Love. He'd never felt this way before. Heart racing. Breath shortening. Butterflies flittering in his stomach. He'd never fallen for a girl before. Fallen. A perfect word to describe love. Something that could make you weak and susceptible to pain and hurt. But it was also something that could make you strong. Something that would help you move mountains and carry boulders. Something that would make you strong.
How could someone as wonderful and beautiful as Tonks love him? A beast. A monster. A creature of darkness. Being around herself seemed to cause them both pain. Knowing they couldn't willingly love each other, staying so far apart, that it hurt.
She was as radiant as the sun, bright and beautiful with warmth to share. But he, a creature of darkness, was burned by her delicate touch. He wanted her to be his, more than he could imagine. But being near her and knowing she would never love him as much as he loved her burned him, crushing his soul like a grape.
Remus didn't notice the delicate silver phoenix flying towards him. It flew quickly, as if carrying an urgent message. The silver bird was obviously the patronus of Albus Dumbledore. It stopped in front of him, speaking in the older wizard's voice.
"Meeting today, 8 o'clock, at 12 Grimmauld Place, meet me there early, Remus."
Remus nodded, and the phoenix flew away, as if gracefully floating on the wind. Realizing that could still use magic to get to 12 Grimmauld Place quicker, he apparated there, hoping Dumbledore would be there already.
Remus stopped in front of the doorway of 12 Grimmauld Place, but to him, it was just Sirius's house. He knocked on the door, hoping Sirius would hear, but not his mother, whose portrait was hanging in the hallway.
His old friend swung open the door. Sirius beamed at him. Remus could only smile back.
"Padfoot!" Remus embraced his friend, "Is Dumbledore here?"
"Wow, thank you Moony. You really care about how I'm doing today. And for your information, I'm doing great."
The pair of them laughed, and Sirius stepped aside to let Remus in. He grinned, something he felt as if he hadn't done for a while.
"So Moony, how have you been. Still single?" Sirius raised an eyebrow, "Snogged anyone lately?"
"Oh God, Padfoot." Remus fought the urge to blush, still felt the heat rise or his face.
"Ha!" his old friend laughed in victory, "So who was it?"
Remus's eyes widened, thankfully, Dumbledore broke the silence by entering the house, uninvited, "Ah, Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black. What a pleasure it is to see you both."
Remus smiled sheepishly. He didn't ant to admit to his childhood friend that he had a crush on his second cousin. Or snogged his little cousin. Or that he left her after that. Then tried to apologize in a note.
The meeting began as soon as everyone arrived. The children were continuing their studies back at the school. Tonks refused to meet his eyes. For which he felt guilty about. He missed her usually bright and warm brown eyes.
Remus sighed, leaning back into his chair. Maybe she would forgive him? Maybe she'd find somewhere in her heart that she could treat him as an equal? No... that's impossible to hope for.
The young Auror lifted her eyes to spotted Remus sitting across from his at the table. Surprisingly, he didn't spot fear or hatred in her warm eyes. He didn't see repulsiveness or anger. But a look of sadness. Pity? But love all the same. He could see friendship in a small, nearly invisible smile. She maybe had read his note. Remus's heart was leaping for joy. She wasn't repulsed by him! Or his condition! He wanted to cheer and pump a fist into the air. But they were at an Order meeting. And he couldn't do any of that. Remus sent back a gentle smile, hoping not to scare the young witch with his excitement.
Remus's smile only grew throughout the meeting. Sirius and Tonks would make silly expressions as Snape spoke, them both sharing a hatred for the potions master. But they had grown out of them school day pranks and were respectful as they could possibly be. She seemed to forgive him. After everything he did. How could someone have that much love and happiness in her heart for someone as disgusting and horrifying as me, Remus thought to himself. How? She was truly magical. Truly lovable. Truly beautiful.
Beautiful. A word you could use to describe someone who seemed so perfect it hurt. Pretty was set for appearance. But beauty had no limits. Remus saw that in Tonks's brown eyes, everyone and everything was beautiful. Therefore, she was the most beautiful in the world in him.
Hi! I just want to thank everyone, once again for voting and reading this story! I also want to apologize for any confusion in this chapter and the next. I had forgotten to edit the chapter before I published it. Thanks to kjoanne237 for pointing it out! Love you all!
-Abby