Muspelheim. The land of never dying fire. Home of fire giants and their cruel ruler, Surtur.
As far as your eyes can see, there's nothing on the horizon but stones, fire and endless flows of lava. Hot clouds of steam are rising from the heart of this land through the cracks on the ground. You only lived here for a short, unpleasant time, and it was long ago. Your home was Midgard, and you never belonged here, still, in the deepest part of your mind a thought was forming: I came home.
Loki and you set up your base camp at the lifeless land near some steaming pools of hot water in the craters on the ground. You were far and safe from the hordes of fire giants. They preferred the deep caves of the rising mountains, full of flaming lava. They rarely appeared on the empty surface of the realm, especially near the hot tubs. You all remembered these from your childhood, and finally, the memories became useful.
The camp contained two sleeping bags, a fireplace (like the whole land wasn't one giant fireplace), some camping chairs, a giant freezing box full of water and food, and of course your armours, weapons, and all the necessary things you might need. A tent wasn't included because the weather never changed: always hot as hell. The idea of rain was unknown here.
The first day, after setting up the camp, you showed Loki around. Though the place was a burning mess, you still remembered some special places, where the view was unlike anything you've ever seen, or like the hot tubs. After hours of hiking and sweating it was nice and refreshing to take a bath in one of the tubs. You were soaking in the hot pool together for hours. It was your idea to take swim-suits with you, and you didn't regret it at all. Loki was wearing forest-green swimming trunks, leaving his upper body naked. You saw his beautifully sculpted, pale body for the first time, and you took every second you had to admire him. He was tall, skinny, yet still muscular. His wet hair fell on his shoulders, right above his perfect chest and...
"Hey! Are you even listening to me?" he splashed water in your face with an annoyed tone in his voice.
"What? Sorry, I... I was just spacing out. You know, some random memories and stuff," you tried to cover the obvious fact that you were staring at him. Your face blushed in a deep red colour, and you were hoping he can't see this because of the heat your faces were constantly red already.
"I see. I thought you were simply just staring at me," he teased you with another small splash.
"You know, I have a fine taste of man, and you're not my type," you splashed back with a playful smile.
Of course, it was a lie, you completely started falling for him. You didn't want to get high hopes, because the end of the day you only would find yourself brokenhearted. You wanted to suppress and fight it back, but it became harder every day...
***
Later that evening you were sitting around the fire and roasted marshmallows. Loki at first refused to take part in this childish mortal activity, but you insisted to do it anyway. You also had a fine bottle of strong whisky with you, which you popped open to celebrate your first day of the trip ahead.
As time passed by, the level of the liquid in the bottle descended to the bottom. Though both of you could drink more than an average human, the demigod and you still managed to get drunk. Soon you found yourself philosophizing over some topics you were avoiding since the beginning:
"You know (y/n), there's one question I wanted to ask all day, but I couldn't find the right time for it." Loki looked at you while roasting a marshmallow on a stick. As he drank more and more, he started to like the sticky snack.
"Okay, shoot it." He woke up your curiosity, with that serious look on his beautiful face, and strange tone in his voice.
"Why aren't you in your Muspel form? I mean I like you this way, but... as much as I hate and try to hide it, I always turn into a frost giant in Jotunheim. And I was wondering, why isn't it the same case with you?" His blue eyes were searching your face with concern while waiting for the answer.
As the lights and shadows of the dancing flame were moving on his face, he looked somehow vulnerable, like he let his guards down for a minute. He was always wearing his poker face and buried everything deep inside him, but now it seemed to slowly fade away. Maybe the alcohol did this to him, you couldn't tell.
"You know, I think I have more power over this thing than you, since I grew up with this ability, unlike you. I've lived most of my life as a human, so this form of being feels more natural to me. Though I don't hate my true form either. I'm proud of it and learned to love it as it is. You should do the same, it would ease your pain and self-disgust at least a bit." His gaze hardened as he sat there without a word. When he didn't say anything, you continued, "I learned to appreciate my Muspel self while living here as a child. As the half-blood daughter of Surtur, I had to..."
"Excuse me! You what?!" Loki choked on the marshmallow in his mouth. "Are you saying that you..." he couldn't finish still coughing from the food.
"... that my name is (y/n) Surturdottir," you finished for him.
As he managed to swallow the marshmallow, he straightened himself in his chair, turning his face to you with disbelief and shock:
"And why the hell did you keep it as a secret until now?" The drink clearly made him more impulsive than usual. He raised an eyebrow at you expectantly, while his face darkened.
"First of all, I think Surturdottir sounds too long and dumb. For example, Laufeyson or Odinson as you like sounds royal and kind of cool. My name sounds ridiculous. Secondly, you never asked. Also, you never tell me about your family, so neither did I."
"You know everything about my damned family! It's all over the place, there's not a single human who doesn't know about my stupid family!" he shouted at you angrily. Something snapped in his mind as you mentioned his family, and his eyes were shining with madness in them. All his suppressed feelings were coming to the surface, washing over him.
You slowly stood up and walked next to him:
"Yes, I've heard things. But I want to hear your version of the story. I want to see them through your eyes, and I want to understand you more. If it helps, I will tell you about my past too," you put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. You felt his tense muscles relax under your palm, as he buried his face into his hands.
"Loki, you can talk to me, we are friends after all." You squatted next to his chair with your hand still on his shoulder. He took a minute to calm himself, then looked up at you with a weak smile:
"I never said that we are friends. I don't even know why I let you hang around, you're so annoying."
Without a word, you hugged him. For a few seconds he resisted, but finally, he gave in, and with a sigh, he returned the tight hug that was full of feelings. You could feel him bottling up all his pain, sorrow and despair in this one big hug.
After you let go of each other, he stood up from his chair and walked to the side of the camp gazing into the distance, turning his back to you.
"I'm sorry. The drink always brings the worst out of me, and I lose my manners. I appreciate the things you said about... about yourself and about me. It's just... I'm not used to people being nice to me." He struggled to say these words but still made it through. You weren't angry at all, but it made you glad that he apologised. You walked up to him and leaned against his side with your arms crossed.
"Just promise me, next time you won't let me bring drink with us."
"Why? Wasn't this little emotional breakdown fun?" you didn't look up at him, but you knew he put his usual sarcastic face on, and he locked away his feelings in the dungeons of his mind again.
After a few minutes of gazing into the distance and listening to the silence while leaning against each other, you both agreed that the next day you would go, and finally fight some fire giants for fun. Both of you needed this kind of stress-relieving after the emotional rollercoaster of the night...
Later, as you were lying in your sleeping bag, the words of your conversation were playing in your head again and again. Loki was finally opening up a bit, but it was hurtful to see him struggling with all his anger and despair. These feelings were eating him alive from the inside. You wanted to help him, ease his pain, and finally accept himself, you just didn't know how. Every time you mentioned something related to the past, he just started shouting and arguing like a wounded animal defending itself.
It was like he had a constant dark cloud over his soul which he couldn't escape, no matter how hard he tried. You wanted to help him finally step out to the sun.
Suddenly, Loki's voice snapped you out of your wandering. He was groaning in his sleep, and his shaking body was full of sweat. You realised that he had a hard time bearing the high temperature, especially in his sleep. You soaked a towel in the cold water from the freezer, and carefully placed it on his body. A relieved smile appeared on his face immediately, and his body finally relaxed under the cold towel. You gently brushed his soft hair out of his face. As you were watching his beautiful face in his sleep, you decided to help him find his redemption. And why?
Because you irretrievably fell in love with him.