Your POV
The day had been like any other. The gift shop had just closed and I was behind the counter writing on my journal with Wendy next to me doing Wendy things. That's when Mabel came in skipping through while singing.
Mabel: La la la la la- AH!!! *crashes into the wall getting her bracers stuck to the door* AHHHHH!!! Bracers!!!! Bracers caught in the screen door!!!! Someone dictate my will!!!! I'm giving it all to Waddles!!!!!!
Soos: Say "ah", girl dude.
Mabel: Ahhh!!!
Soos: *untangles Mabel's bracers with a screwdriver*
Mabel: Soos, you saved me!!!
Soos: *chuckles* Just doing my job, hambone. I'll see you dudes tomorrow.
Dipper and Mabel: Bye, Soos!!!
You: Later, Soos!
Wendy: Night, Soos.
Stan: Night, Soos.
Soos: *leaves* To-do do do do, walking to my car.
Mabel: You ever wonder what Soos does when he's not here at the Mystery Shack?
Dipper: No.
You: Nope.
Wendy: Not really.
Stan: Not even once.
You know, even though I hadn't really thought about it before, Mabel's question did make me think: What does Soos do when he's not here? Anyways, the rest of the day we just stayed home and watched tv. The next day, I was working on cash register duty as usual. There was a young kid, he looked about seven to eight years old. He was flipping a nickel around in his hand. Of course Stan.
Kid: *walks around flipping the nickel*
Stan: *pops from behind a cloaked figure* Hello!!!
Kid: AHH!!!
Stan: Please, don't let my horrible elderly face frighten you! Don't you want to use that nickel to get a nugget from ol' Goldie?!?
He takes off the cloak revealing Goldie, a statue of some man who gave you golden nuggets if you paid it change. Stan has had that for years, and it's pretty jacked up even if he doesn't want to admit it. It has always freaked me out, but after what happened today, I think I've developed a new phobia for that thing.
Stan put the kid's nickel inside Goldie's mouth making it raise its hand and hat. Both of its eyes popped out (literally) and oil started to come out of its mouth as it let out a bloodcurdling scream. It was horrifying!!! The kid ended up running away crying.
You: Uh... Stan, I'm not just saying this because this thing just caused me to gain a new phobia, but I really think it's time to throw that thing out.
Stan: What?!? Sure, he's a little rusty around the edges, but old Goldie's a classic showstopper like me!!! *goes to rest his hand on the table Goldie was in, but his hand sleeps making Goldie bite Stan as he desperately hits it against the table* KILL IT, KILL IT!!!
You: ...that thing's leaving this place for good.
That's when I see Soos in the corner of my eye. He was minding his own business when he sees a woman standing nearby. I wasn't that near, but I could still hear what he said.
Soos: *gasp* A woman! *hides behind the rack of clothes*
Dipper: Hey, (y/n). What are you looking at?
You: Soos is acting... weird. I mean, weirder than usual... *point at Soos*
Soos: *pops up from his hiding spot creepily* Your face is good!!! I'm a Soos!!!
Woman: *runs out screaming in terror*
You: See what I mean?
You and Dipper: *walk over to Soos*
Dipper: Soos? What was that all about?
Soos: I-... I think that was flirting...? But I'm not sure...
You and Dipper: *look at each other in confusion*
Mabel: *pops out of the barrel behind you* Did someone say flirting?!?
You: Why though? I've never seen you trying to flirt with people.
Soos: Well, I sorta promised my grandma I'd get a date by the end of the week, but I've never actually been on a date before! *takes the Out of Order sign from the nearby vending machine snd puts it on him* You belong on me, Out Of Order sign... *sigh*
Mabel: Finally, my prayers for a chance to matchmake this summer have been answered!!!
Stan: Soos, a little advice: You need to get rich!!! Or lie about being rich!!! Outside of that I don't like your chances.
You: *roll your eyes* Ignore him, Soos. Girls don't care about how much money you have, they care about how you are on the inside!
Dipper: Soos, you help us so much that it's time we help you, dude! We're gonna get you that date!
Mabel: We're taking you where romance lives and fashion styles die.
~time skip to mall~
Mabel: To the mall!!!!!
Stan: I'm gonna go find a replacement for old Goldie, babysit Soos while I'm gone. *leaves*
Mabel: *looks around* Alright, Soos, are you ready to explode the charm bomb on these poor unsuspecting ladies?!?
You: *whisper* That sounds kinda creepy...
Dipper: *nods slightly*
Soos: Uh, but what if I embarrass myself again?!?
You: Don't worry, Soos, we'll be with you every step of the way!
Mabel: Besides, you can't be any worse at this than Dipper!
Dipper: Yeah! Wait, wha...?
You: *hold a laugh*
Mabel: *blows a whistle* And... FLIRT!!!
The three of us spend hours helping Soos try and flirt with women, but no matter what he tried nothing seemed to work. It was actually pretty sad, I felt bad for him. We were sitting down in front of the Beebly Blop's video game store.
Mabel: *opens a little ball from the surprise machine* Don't worry, Soos, you'll find the right girl!!! You just need to *shows him the green sticky hand* stick with it!!! *laughs*
Soos: *sigh* Could this day get any worse...? *sees a man and woman walking through the mall* Oh no, cousin Reggie!!!! He can't see me like this!!! I gotta hide!!! *runs inside the video game store*
You: Oh, poor Soos...
Dipper: There's gotta be a way to help him get a date by the end of the week.
Mabel: Hmm... *runs after Soos*
You and Dipper: *follow Mabel*
Soos was laying against an isle with a game on his hands. I had never seen that game before, and when it came to games I was an expert. This one had a picture of an anime girl with bright pink hair, a massive bow, and a school uniform. I already knew it was a dating simulator.
Soos: Virtually improve your dating skills!!! Nine out of ten basic dwellers recommend!!! This is perfect!!!
Dipper: Well, I guess you are better at games than at flirting!
Mabel: Anything to get you out there, Soos!!!
You: Can I see that...?
Soos: *gives you the game*
You: Weird, I'm pretty familiar with otomes and dating sims but I've never seen anything about this game before.
Soos: Neither have I, maybe it's brand new!
You: There's no published date. I don't think this is a good idea, I get a strange feeling about this game.
Worker: Uh, you should listen to your friend. This is the third time someone's brought it back, and there's a note on it that says "Destroy at all cost"
Soos: *to a cardboard cutout of a woman* So hey there, what's your deal? Like a- *pokes it cardboard making it fall over* Oh, she's dead!!!
Mabel: We'll take our chances.
You: *gulp* ...
I've had bad experiences with games before. Maybe I was being paranoid...? The next day I was free from work, Wendy had the shift the rest of the day. Apparently Stan wanted to buy some animatronic, said they'd help him gain more customers. Eesh, I've always hated those things.
We had been looking for Soos, we were going to the mall again. However, he was nowhere to be seen. Strange, he has never missed a day if work. We went to his house, his grandma told us he was in his room. He was stuck to his chair, laughing at his computer. Oh no...
Soos: *laughs* So that's basically my entire life story!!! Now you tell me a thing about you!!!
Girl from Game: Every time you compliment me, I get another highlight in my eyes!!!
Soos: Uh, you're pretty!
Girl from Game: *gasps as a highlight appears in her eyes*
Soos: And pixel-y!!!
Girl from Game: *gasps as more highlights appear*
Soos: And so agreeable!!!
Girl from Game: *gasps as many cute things appear*
Soos: Yes!!!
Mabel: Uh... Soos...?
Soos: Oh hey, dudes, come in!!! This game is amazing!!! I'm making eye contact, going on dates, and I haven't seen any natural sunlight for thirteen hours!!!
Dipper: *kicks a can on the floor*
Mabel: Soos, maybe it's time to play these skills with real girls!!!
Soos: But I'm about to meet her parents!!! *whispers* Her dad is an octopus man!!!
You: *open the window letting sunlight inside*
Soos: AHH!!! *hisses at the sunlight and hides under his desk*
Dipper: *pulling Soos's arm* We're going back to the mall, man! You need to unplug! *drags Soos to the door*
Soos: I'll see you later, •GIFfany!!! I'll be back, I swear!!!
Mabel: *laughs* Soos, you don't have to wish her goodbye, it's just a game! It's not like it's going anywhere!
You: *look at the game with a suspicious look, then close the door and follow the twins dragging Soos*
~at the mall~
Mabel: Dang, where are all them sweet honeys at?!? (y/n), let's check the ladies bathroom!!!
You: I'm good.
Mabel: *enters the bathroom and speaks with a megaphone* IT'S LOVE TIME, GIRLS, GET OUT THERE!!! NO TIME TO WATCH YOUR HANDS!!!
Women: *run out screaming in terror*
Mabel: DATE!!! DATE!!! DATE!!!
You: Oh my Jesus...
Dipper: And here comes security. We'll deal with this.
You: Stay here and and practice on some real women.
You and Dipper: *go to security*
As Dipper starts talking to security, I notice Soos on a small kids train.
Soos: *realizes he has no more quarters* Oh, man.
Girl: *laughs* Oh. Sorry. *walks over to Soos* Dude, that's awesome that you're a grown man riding a little train like that!!! You're totally like owning it!!!
Soos: Huh?!? Oh yeah, I'm like if it's fun uh, do it, you know?!?
Girl: Exactly!!! Being an adult is the worst!!! Skewering meat, remembering to pay bills, I just want to ride tiny trains all day!!!
You: *nudge Dipper as a big smile grows on your face*
Dipper: Hm?
You: *point at Soos*
Dipper: *gasps slightly and smiles*
Soos: Well, at least you get to work at Meat-Cute, extreme lunch meat are the food of the future!!!
Girl: I feel the same way!!! I'm Melody, by the way!!! *offers to shake his hand*
Soos: *shakes her hand* Oh, I'm Soos!!! I tell you, if you like robots for kids you should check out the best restaurant of all time!!!
Melody: You mean-
Soos and Melody: Hoo-ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree!!!
Melody: *starts to fiddle with her ponytail* What?!? You've heard of Hoo-ha Owl's?!? I loved that place when I was a kid!!!
Soos: Oh, yeah, dude!!! There's one right in this mall!!! I should show you some times!!!
Melody: I'm free around eight...!
Soos: Boom, done!
Melody: Perfect!!! I'll see you then! *gives Soos two quarters for the train and waves before leaving*
Soos: *waves back* What a nice lady! Well, back to riding this tiny train for children!
Mabel: *tackles Soos unto the ground* WOO!!*starts punching Soos's head playfully* SOOS!!!
You and Dipper: *go next to them*
You: We saw the whole thing, Soos!!!
Dipper: That was amazing!!! You talked to a real girl!!!
You: And you got a date!!!
Soos: I did?
Mabel: AH, AH!!! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!! *throws herself unto the floor*
Dipper: You were in the zone, you made eye contact-!
You: It was like you've done this a million times before!!!
Dipper: Don't you see?!? That game really works!!!
Mabel: *poking you* And you had your doubts about it!!!
You: Ok, fine, maybe I was just a little paranoid... But the point is: you don't need it anymore!!!
Mabel: Yeah, you can toss it out!!!
Soos: Toss it?!? *stands up* But I like •GIFfany, she's good to me!!! She's predictable!!!
Dipper: Soos, can a computer game go to Reggie's engagement party with you?
Soos: Uh...
Soos decided to throw out the game. I still had my doubts about it so I was more than happy to see it gone. Later on, we decided to go to Hoo-ha Owl's with Soos, you know, just to make sure everything's ok. We were outside the restaurant 'helping' Soos.
Mabel: You can do it, Soos!!! Just remember what your love crew taught you!!! How does she look?!?
Soos: Nice!!!
Mabel: What are her stories?!?
Soos: Interesting!!!
Mabel: And who's gonna pay for dinner?!?
Soos: Soos is!!!!!!!
Dipper: Now... date!!!!!
You: *blow an airhorn*
Soos: *runs into the restaurant*
Mabel: They grow up so fast!
We go inside and sit on a table near where Soos and Melody were sitting. We needed to see what happened, of course.
Melody: Man, I could go for some complimentary breadsticks right now!
Soos: *laughs, then speaks a bit awkwardly* Um, one time I was so hungry I ate the decorational bamboo sticks at a Chinese restaurant. ... *patting his stomach in singsong* Like a big old panda.
Melody: *laughs* You are hilarious!!!
Soos: *laughs* Well, you know, I just sorta say whatever pops into my uh... *looks at the arcade game in the distance, then spits water in shock and coughs*
Melody: Soos, are you ok?
Soos: No. I-I'm fine, everything's fine!!! *looks at the monitors above Melody*
Melody: Are you sure? You're spitting an awful lot!
Soos: Uh, could you sit tight?!? I have to go to the bathroom for a long time!!! Not in a weird way!!! *runs and sits on your table wiping his sweat away*
Mabel: Soos, what are you doing out there?!?
Soos: I got a big problem, guys!!! I'm being stalked by •GIFfany!!!
You, Dipper, and Mabel: •GIFfany?!?
Soos: Or maybe it's pronounced •JIFfany? I was never really sure.
Dipper: Soos, get a grip on yourself! •GIFfany can't stalk you because she's not real!
You: Guys...? *point at the monitors where •GIFfany can be seen staring at all of you*
Mabel: Uh-oh.
Dipper: Take it from someone who brought an arcade game to life, this will not end well.
You: I told you guys this was a bad idea...
Soos: Don't worry, I'm pretty sure she's stuck on tv screens.
•GIFfany: *passes through many arcade game screens eventually stoping at Fight Fighters*
Rumble: Ha!!! A new challenger approaches!!! Prepare to be-!!!
•GIFfany: *zaps Rumble who screams in agony before she passes through more screens, then she goes behind the curtain*
Soos: Oh boy. *sits with Melody* So hey, anyway, you wanna move this date into the forest far away from all electronics and people?!?
Melody: What? But the floor show's about to start!
The lights turned off and the curtains open revealing many animatronics robot. Everything seemed normal even with the already terrifying animatronics, until the leader, Hoo-ha the Owl, was turned off? Electricity went from him to the girl chipmunk in the back. Her eyes were now read, and that's when things started to get really out of hand...
•GIFfany (as Chipmunk Girl): Hello, friends!!! Hoo-ha the Owl is dead!!! This next song goes out to my forever boyfriend, Soos!!!
Melody: Soos, what's going on?
Soos: No time to explain, we gotta get out of here!!! *grabs Melody's wrist and starts to run at the door*
You, Dipper, and Mabel: *run with Soos*
•GIFfany: The only way out, Soos, is in ny arms!!!! *snaps her fingers making all the animatronics come to life* After them!!!
Everyone: *runs away screaming in terror*
You, Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Melody: *try to escape but the gates close and you all start hitting the door*
•GIFfany: Sorry, Soos, you can't run away from our relationship!!! *zaps a machine which starts throwing balls at you all*
Soos: *tilts over and arcade machine as you all hide behind it* So about all this, I may have purchased a dating simulator that obtained sentient and went crazy.
•GIFfany: *as she walks closer* Oh, I am crazy!!! Crazy for you, Soos!!! *throws electricity above you as you avoid*
You, Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Melody: *taking cover* AHHH!!!
Melody: *screams at the sight of a bit of fire in her hair*
Soos: *quickly pats it down* Oh no!!! I'm so sorry, Melody!!! I'll fix this, it's me that she wants!!! I'll distract her while Dipper, Mabel, and (y/n) keep you safe!!! It's the only way!!! *climbs over the arcade machine*
Melody: Soos, these are children!
Soos: The only wayyyyy!!!! *goes across the room passing •GIFfany as the balls hit him* Over here, •GIFfany!!!
•GIFfany: Stop!!!
Soos goes through many obstacles that •GIFfany placed and eventually made it to the kitchen where we lost track of him.
Dipper: On three we split! One, two,
Robot: *breaks the arcade machine making you all run*
We all go our separate ways. As I tried to avoid one of the robots I see Dipper getting cornered by one! I ran to him as the robot was about to punch him and I pushed him out of the way, both of us landing against the wall.
Melody then grabbed a chair and hit the robot's back, making it turn its head at her and two other robots appear behind her. We were all grabbed by the robots.
We could see Soos panicking, not knowing what to do, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. I see Soos throwing stuff at •GIFfany who avoided them with ease. That's when Soos grabbed the disc and burned it in the oven making •GIFfany disappear and the robot she used as a body melt down. The robots holding us deactivated and met us go unto the ball pit. Was the place was a complete disaster. But hey, at least we're ok. Sort of. Soos and Melody sat on a couch as we were close by.
Soos: *sigh* I'm sorry for all this, I honestly remember this place being a lot more fun when I was a kid.
Melody: Believe it or not, I've been on worse dates.
Soos: Really?!?
Melody: Never date a magician.
Soos: Ew, why would I?
Melody: *playfully slaps Soos's arm laughing*
Soos: Oh hey, you wouldn't maybe be interested in coming to my cousin's engagement party in a week? I promise there's like zero robot badgers!
Melody: *laughs* Yeah, I'll still be in town then!
Soos: Still be in town?
Melody: I'm going back home to Portland in a few weeks, but we can video chat if that's ok with you.
Soos: A relationship with a girl that I can only see through my computer; sounds perfect!!!
Mabel: *from your hiding place* Spirit of love, we did it!!!
Abuela: *pops out from the ball pit* Yes, yes, I am so happy!
Dipper: Have you been following us all day...?
Abuela: Soos's life is my soap opera.
You: *snicker*
That's pretty much how the day ended. I was super happy for Soos!!! Though, I wonder if I'll ever have this type of love with someone. Someone specifically...
Thanks for reading!!! 'Till next time!!!
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