Santana's Point of View
Brittany doesn't follow me out of the bathroom.
I feel really hot right now because all I wanna do is slap the fuck out of Chantel. Part of me wants to go back into the auditorium and beat her ass but another part of me wants to cool down.
Do I wanna break up with Brittany? Hell no. If she wants to break up then we can because I only want what she wants. And if she's gonna be happier with someone else then that's fine. I mean, I'll be sad but it's fine.
Seeing Chantel kiss Brittany really hurt me. Chantel disrespected me in front of everybody.
I walk up and down the same hallway thirty times before deciding that I'm cool enough to go back to the dance, but I stop at my locker on my way there.
I look in my mirror and see that most of my makeup is gone and my eyes are swollen from crying. I put my facial lotion on and then some lipgloss on. As I'm closing my locker I see Brittany walking up to me.
"The limo's here." She says softly, "Did you want me to take you home or..."
I bite down on my bottom lip because Brittany is truly beautiful. The way she looks at me with those ocean eyes makes everything feel better and they tell me that everything is going to be okay. And her in the crown is like a cherry on top of sundae.
"I still have that room reserved at the Red Rooster Inn." I say looking down at my feet that are throbbing. I take my heels off and hold them in my left hand and I grab onto Brittany's hand with my right.
"You know," Brittany says as we're walking towards the exit, "Just because you didn't win Prom Queen it doesn't mean your not a queen," She looks down at me and smiles, "Your my queen." I smile and give her hand a light squeeze.
The limo driver is parked right in front and I give myself a high five in my head. The driver is standing by the door and I give him a small smile when he opens the door for me.
"Red Rooster Inn, please." Brittany says to him before getting in. She doesn't sit next to me and I furrow my eyebrows.
"Babe." I say and when she looks at me I pat the area next to me. She sits next to me and lets out a deep breath, "What's wrong?" I ask placing my hand on her thigh. She looks at me and I see a tear slide down her cheek.
"This is wrong. I'm wrong. I ruined your night, the one night of your senior year that actually meant something to you." Brittany says and more tears start to roll down her cheeks, "And I don't know what to do or how to fix it."
"Britt," I whisper, "It's fine. I'm fine."
Lies. I'm not fine. I wanna scream and cry but I know I can't.
Brittany squints her eyes and looks at me, "Your lying." she says and I purse my lips, "And your pursing your lips! Something you do when your lying or beating around the bush."
"Okay, fine!" I yell, "You want me to tell you how I feel?! I feel like shit and you made me feel like this! I told you about her from the beginning and you ignored me cause you thought I was just some clingy girl!" I scoot away from Britt to make room in between us, "Britt, I love you, but I don't wanna do this." I look down at my lap so I won't have to see her face, "Not like this."
"So, this is it? This is the end? We're stopping here?"
"Tell me you don't have feelings for her. Tell me that if we weren't together right now you still wouldn't want to be with her." I say and Brittany looks down and bites on her bottom lip, "Exactly. You do have feelings for her."
"But they're not as big as the ones I have for you." Brittany blurts out
I furrow my eyebrows, "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"I don't know what I'm saying," Brittany grabs my hands, "Let's not break up. We can fix this."
I look down at her hands holding mine and grin, "I think you should be with Chantel and see what that's like with her and I-I can keep it low-key."
"We can fix this." Brittany says again, more sternly
"We're constantly fixing this and one day it's not gonna be fixable." I pull my hands away from Brittany and tears begin to fall down her face, "But , Britt, when I tell you I love you I mean it and I don't think I'll ever stop loving you."
I wipe her tears away and place a gentle kiss on her lips. I try to savor the taste of her mouth because I know I won't be tasting her tomorrow or the day after that.
I tell the driver to take me home instead and five minutes later I we're in front of my house. I kiss Brittany on the cheek before getting out the car.
I don't cry. I can't cry. I want to but nothing comes out. This is good. Brittany's free and she can try things out with Chantel.
If it's meant to be then we'll come back together.
"How was it?" My mom asks when I walk in. She turns around in her chair and looks at me, "What happened?"
"I just broke up with Brittany," I say as I walk up the steps, "And no, I don't wanna talk about it."
I walk into my room and close my door. I change out of my prom dress and put on a pair of underwear of underwear, a hoodie, and a pair of jeans that were just lying around on the floor. I pull my hair up into a ponytail as I walk back downstairs.
"I'm gonna go get some food." I say to my mom who just nods her head with a concerned look on her face
I just broke up with Brittany. I came out to be with her. I lost my Abuela to be with her. I'm not mad at her but now I kind of feel like it was all for nothing.
This is all for the better. All for the better.
I go to Chipotle and order a steak bowl. And after I pay I sit down at a table and open it the bowl, but I don't eat it. I just look at it. I want to eat it but my body won't let me. With everything that's going on I haven't been eating as much as I should.
"I can help you eat that."
I look up and see Ashley. I bite down on my bottom lip and push the bowl in the middle of the table. She sits across from me and takes the fork from my hand.
"Wasn't your prom tonight?" She asks as she puts some of the food into her mouth. I nod my head, "Then shouldn't you be be withBrittany?"
"We broke up..." I look down at the table, "Less than an hour ago."
"Hmm." Ashley says and she hands me my fork back, "Chantel said that was gonna happen soon."
"Chantel," I spit, "Is the reason why we broke up." Ashley gives me a confused look, "Her and Britt won Prom King and Queen together and at the end if their slow dance Chantel kissed her."
Ashley laughs, "And your the girl who slapped her?"
"Yeah."
"Holy shit," Ashley says smiling "Chantel's a little bitch. That's why I stopped fucking with her ass."
Ashley takes the fork back and continues to eat.
I look at Ashley and realize that she's actually pretty hot. She's lightskin, a little bit lighter than me, and she has almond eyes and perfectly shaped lips. She wears these diamond studs that seem to twinkle whenever she laughs or smiles and she has a nice build. She has on a grey Thrasher shirt underneath an unzipped Nike hoodie and there's two gold chains hanging around her neck.
"Now what?" Ashley asks and she crosses her arms over the table, leaning in closer, "Your gonna keep it lowkey or are you gonna try someone new?" She bites down on her bottom lip and I grin
"I can do both," I say and she nods, "I can try someone new and still have people think I'm single."
Am I flirting? I just got out of a relationship less than an hour ago and I'm already flirting.
"But then there's Brittany," She was with a smile on her face, "You keep telling yourself that this is all for the better even though you know it's not."
What the fuck? Was she just in my head?
Ashley clears her throat, "I can't do what you and Brittany do; be in a committed relationship. I like to be able to do who and what I want when I want."
She's kind of reminding me of Puck. The female version of him.
"I would want to do something like that but I'm scared that I'll catch feelings."
Ashley laughs, "That's the problem. Your scared and you feel."
"So what are you? A heartbreak expert?" I ask
"I am the heartbreaker." She says with a playful smile
What if this helps me get over Brittany? I don't want to get over her but what if I need to?
This is all too much and it's all happening too fast.
"I just got out of a relationship."
"Yeah, with your first girlfriend." Ashley says, "Now is your time to try someone new."
I purse my lips together and think about what she just said. Now is my time and I've never been with any other girl but Brittany. And plus it's just a one time thing.
I nod my head as I stand up and Ashley smiles, showing her perfectly white and straight teeth.
She grabs my hand and pulls me towards the bathroom. Right after she closes and locks the bathroom door she smashes her lips onto mine. A rollercoaster of emotions flash through my body. I'm overwhelmed and scared as hell. I wasn't expecting anything like this and now that it is happening, my head is spinning. I can't believe Ashley was kissing me like this. We hardly know each other and she wants to do this. Feeling her lips lips on mine make my legs go weak and I feel like a bout to collapse. I tell my body to relax and I return to the intensity of the kiss, lifting my hand to cradle her neck.
Ashley lightly pushes me back against the door and deepens the kiss, pinning our bodies close together. She runs her hand up my hoodie and explore the skin along my waist and abdomen.
I flick my tongue across her lips and she open her mouth more, letting my tongue slip inside and caress hers. Ashley alternates between running her tongue along mine and massaging my bottom lip, like she can't decide which one she likes more.
She moved her hand to my cup my breath and begins kissing down my jaw line until she reaches my neck. She kisses up and down, placing her tongue on one spot, closing her lips around it and then gently sucking on my skin until she moves to the next spot.
I crane my head and let out a soft moan. Ashley runs her hand down my backside and stops when she reaches my thigh, pulling it up and tight against the side of her waist. She lifts her knee and presses it into my center, lifting my body further up the door as she crashes her lips back onto mine.
I moan into her mouth and I can feel the heat the shooting through my body and throbbing in between my legs. I run my hand underneath her shirt and up her torso and I want to touch more of her. Ashley envelopes my lips into her mouth, as if she can't get enough of me.
I'm completely intoxicated by her touch as our lips move vigorously. I feel like everything inside of me has been whipped into a heated frenzy.
I push back against her lips and began to pull her sweater off of her. Ashley takes the hint and pulls the sweater completely off. The second Ashley drops her knee I push lightly at her hips. She shuffled backwards toward the counter, only breaking our kiss briefly when she lift her shirt over her head, revealing a Nike sports bra.
Ashley turns us around and pushes me back against the sink. She wraps her hands around the back of my thighs and pulls up. I place my palms on the edge of the counter, helping her lift me so that I can sit on the edge of the sink. She taps the insides of my knees so that they can spread wider. I take my hoodie off and place my lips back on hers.
Ashley continues to kiss me in a desperate but sensual way. She takes my bottom lip into her mouth and sucks on it until she pulls at it with her teeth before letting go. She leans her head down to my bare shoulder and takes my bra into her mouth with her teeth and pulls it to the side and off her shoulder. She starts to leave a trail of kisses along my shoulder and collarbone before angling her head to kiss just behind my neck at the crook where the shoulder and neck meet, causing my breath to hitch. It's a small sensitive spot for me that makes me melt, and Ashley was able to find it with ease.
I moan out her name and crane my neck to the side to give her better access. She stays at that one spot, massaging it with her lips and tongue until until she had to pull her head up for air.
I'm radiating and my breath is erratic. I'm sensitive to every touch and kiss and our bodies being so close. I want more. I want her to touch more of make and her to kiss all over me. I pull Ashley as close to my body as possible, so that my center is pressed against her stomach. Ashley begins to fervently kiss my neck and slowly moves down to my chest. My breath hitches and I arch my back as she takes the skin of my breast along the edge of my bra into her mouth. I grip at her back with one hand as I run my other hand up her neck and cradle her head closed, letting my fingernails drag along her skin.
I feel my phone vibrate next to me but we ignore it and Ashley moves to kissing along the bra line of my other breasts.
It's vibrates again and Ashley presses her lips further into my skin, briefly sucking on it.
Vibrates again.
"Fuck," I groan and Ashley picks her head up
I pick my phone up and press down on the home button and see that Brittany texted me three times. Ashley sees it too and laughs.
One of the messages says 'I love you', the next one says, 'but I think we should have this break' and the last one says, 'but I know we'll be getting back together' I purse my lips and place my phone on my lap.
Ashley puts her shirt and sweater on and then hands me my hoodie.
"I'm sorry," I say and Ashley helps me off of the counter. I turn around and look in the mirror to fix my ponytail, "You're more likable when you use your tongue to talk instead of your mouth." Ashley pulls her necklaces out of her shirt and smiles. I turn around and lean back against the counter, "When are we gonna finish this?"
"You wanna finish this?" Ashley asks as she presses up against me and grins
"I don't see why I wouldn't." I down at her lips and realize how close she is to me. Once inch away from kissing her lips
"Hmm," Ashley pulls her phone out of her back pocket and unlocks it, "I never do this so don't go bragging to your friends."
"Then why are you letting me?" I ask as I put my number in
"I don't know," she takes her phone back and looks at it, "Tana-Bear?"
I laugh, "Santana isn't as cool as that and I wanted to hear you say it."
Ashley rolls her eyes and places her phone in her back pocket, "I'm gonna walk you to your car." She pecks my lips a few times before getting off of me.
Ashley does walk me to my car and as I'm driving home I realize that that I'm not as worked up about breaking up with Brittany. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing.
When I get home my mom is already in her room, sleep, so I'll just tell her what happened tomorrow.
As I'm undressing I realize that I miss Brittany. So, I get under the covers and FaceTime her.
At first I thought she wasn't going to answer but after a few rings she picks up.
"Hey," I say and I realize how sad I am, "I love you."
"I love you, too" Her voice cracks and hearing that breaks my heart
"Well," I say and I let out a deep breath, "I just wanted to tell you that."
"Oh," Brittany says and I can tell she wanted more, "Okay, um, night Santana."
"Night Britt." I day before hanging up
I let out a frustrated groan and drop my phone on my bed.
It just hit me that Brittany and I are no longer together and that's when I finally let myself cry.