[] A M E L I A []
Leo didn't waste a second in trying to get me to stay. He constantly asked what was wrong, but I simply told him I wanted to rest. In the end, he finally sighed, grabbed my hand in his, and dragged me to his car. I grumbled the entire way about him holding my hand, but at last, he gave me a look, instantly shutting me up.
He finally dropped me off at my dorm, seemingly upset about me wanting to be here, rather than with him. However, he gave me a small smile and told me to sleep in, whereas he would go to class for the both of us. And if that wasn't enough to make me want to die of guilt, he even brought me breakfast after class and got Fatima to bring it in for me. Apparently, he had been waiting for someone outside for the past twenty minutes, and he recognized Fatima from when he met her before. When I took the brown paper bag from her, she only smiled and said that "your boyfriend takes good care of you."
That was the last straw.
I had drowned in enough guilt to last me three lifetimes.
I knew it wasn't nice of me to leave him the morning after everything that happened last night. However, I knew that I couldn't stay. The more I stayed with him, the more I wouldn't be able to walk away. It was only just before I was going to his place last night that I realized I had some sort of feelings for him. Feelings that escalated friendship.
And in the next moment, my past came around the corner to hunt me down.
And that was that. It was as if it was a sign, a warning, telling me not to get too close to Leo. As if something was telling me that bad things would happen if I continued to be around him. But there I was, following him to his house right after he beat the living daylights out of Jackson.
I sighed as I stared at the yellow sticky with a smiley face that was stuck on the brown paper bag.
And then, I went back to my bed, curling myself into a hopeless ball on it, still wearing Leo's clothes.
* * *
Friday came and went by with me moping around all day. Everyone had been busy trying to study for finals, therefore no one cared about my whereabouts, which was helpful to me.
Now that it was Saturday evening, my phone finally tinged with my first text message in two days. Surprisingly, it was Andre.
Hey little one, dinner at my place tonight? And sadly no, it won't be a date ;) Jamal won his game yesterday so it's a celebratory dinner -Andre.
I smiled at his text. I put my phone down, wondering about what I should do. It was inevitable that Leo would be there too. However, Gemma and Jamal would also be there. With the events of yesterday, I felt as if I needed to get out of the four claustrophobic walls of my room.
More than that, I had actually missed Jamal's first winning game, since I was trying to avoid Leo. Feeling obligated to go to at least his celebration dinner, I responded with a short 'I'll be there,' to Andre.
As for Leo, it would be easier to ignore him as long as there were others around.
I was ready around 8, and to my surprise, that's when I heard a knock at my door. For a moment, I was frozen with fear, thinking of who it could be on the other side.
Was it Leo?
Or worse, Jackson?
With my heart beating a mile a minute, I slowly inched towards the door. I took a peek through the peephole, and sighed in relief when I saw Gemma on the other side.
"How do you always manage to get in?" I said as I opened the door for her.
She shrugged.
"I think I'm just my own good luck charm," she said, flipping her hair over her shoulder.
I smiled and shook my head at her antics.
"Are you ready?" she asked, eyeing me up and down in confusion.
I was wearing the college hoodie and jeans, not wanting to dress up more than that today. I nodded. Gemma took a worried step toward me.
"Amelia, are you okay? What happened?" she asked. "You never told me about your talk with Leo either."
I sighed and gave her a reassuring smile.
"Everything's okay, Gemma. I just need some time."
Gemma nodded in understanding. Then we started making our way towards Andre and Jamal's place.
Somehow, I managed to keep everything a secret from Gemma. Especially the whole 'Leo kissing me' ordeal. It added onto the guilt I felt for ignoring Leo, but like that, hiding this from Gemma was also necessary. If I told her, she would instantly start thinking that everything she said about Leo liking me was true all along. And as much as I hoped she was right earlier, the events of Thursday night changed everything.
For a moment, I was lost in the feeling of friendship, of trust, that I completely forgot who I was.
I forgot that my past was still haunting me. And if I wasn't careful enough, others could get dragged into it too.
And now, I wanted to turn around and head back to the four walls of my dorm room, which seemed much more inviting now. However, just as I opened my mouth to speak, Gemma spoke.
"Isn't this great? Jamal won more than half the shots in yesterday's game! You should've seen him Amelia! He was unbeatable. If he keeps this up, he could be MVP in no time," she said excitedly.
I smiled at her excitement and suddenly felt defeated.
Of course I had to be there for Jamal.
We made it to the dorm quickly and I was surprised to see Andre already at the door. He opened it for us, greeting us both with a pat to the head.
"Greetings my lovely girl friends," Andre said with a bow.
I smiled at his cheekiness and Gemma simply shook her head. However, I didn't fail to notice the faint blush coating her cheeks, which I knew wasn't from the cold outside. On top of that, she was trying hard to bite down her smile.
'What was that about?' I thought.
We started making our way upstairs, and with each step we took, I felt worse and worse. My heart rate was picking up and my palms were sweating profusely. I was nervous beyond repair. All I knew was that I couldn't crumble when I saw him. I had to finish what we started before he got dragged in.
He couldn't get into this.
* * *
[] L E O []
I waited patiently for Andre to go receive the girls. I had seen both Amelia and Gemma walking down the street when they were nearly a block away. I sent Andre down right away, not wanting Amelia to feel unsafe. The events of Thursday still shook me to my core.
'If I could get my hands on that guy again, I could just-'
"We're here," I heard a voice sing from the door.
To my surprise, it was Gemma that walked in. Andre came in behind her, and at last, Amelia was behind him.
I sighed as I watched her from afar. She had ignored me since yesterday morning, and for what reason, I had no idea. The morning when she stayed over, she had a certain hesitation in her eyes. A fear of some sort. What that was, I didn't know.
And then the night earlier.
I couldn't think of it without my heart racing out of control, and my palms getting sweaty.
I kissed Amelia Harrison.
And although it wasn't for long, I knew that I wouldn't be able to stop wanting to do it every time I see her now. Kissing her was better than I had imagined. Her lips were softer than I had thought they would be and they seemed to mold perfectly with mine. But more than that, it was the way she melted in my arms, as if she'd succumb herself to me. And that made me go absolutely insane.
I wasn't crazy. I knew she didn't kiss me back. But I didn't give her time to respond on purpose. I was afraid that if I kept going, she'd push me further away. So with her, it was baby steps. And maybe with these little steps, I could finally crawl my way into her heart, the way she did for me.
I sighed once again as I saw her across the room. She was quietly putting her coat up, barely paying attention to what Gemma and Andre were talking about.
Then they slowly started making their way over. Amelia hadn't looked up yet. Her eyes were downcast and her posture was uninviting. She was wearing a hoodie again, and although the hood was down, it still felt as if this was the same girl I met two months ago.
I let out a small breath as they made their way over to where Jamal and I were standing.
Immediately, Gemma launched herself into Jamal's arms.
"Congratulations!" she screeched, causing all of us to chuckle.
Somehow, I caught Andre staring at Gemma with a look of displeasure. As soon as she pulled back, his face relaxed.
I frowned. I was so occupied in my own thoughts of Amelia, I barely paid attention to what was happening in Andre and Jamal's lives. Some friend I am. I made a mental note to talk to him later.
Amelia then walked forward and timidly held out a hand for Jamal.
"Congratulations Jamal. Sorry I couldn't be there," she sincerely said.
'She hasn't looked in my direction once.'
Jamal gave her a grin and instead of accepting her hand, he threw his arms around her.
"Ah, come here Amelia. It's alright! You can make it to my next game!"
Amelia's eyes widened as Jamal hugged her and slowly, she relaxed and hugged him back.
I suppressed the small amount of annoyance I felt, because I knew her friendship with Jamal was pure. They pulled away after a few moments and then Andre let out a deep breath and turned to us.
"Alright, we're just waiting on a few more people and then we're good to party!"
* * *
[] A M E L I A []
I let out a small breath as I stared at Gemma's sleeping face on my shoulder. She had passed out nearly fifteen minutes ago, since she had drowned herself in alcohol tonight. The place reeked of booze, and more than that, it was filled with alcohol-induced bodies.
When Andre said he invited a few people, he meant he invited nearly twenty people. Granted it's not much, but even if the duo owns one of the biggest dorm rooms on campus, it's still not enough to fit this many people. I had only recognized Joe, Stephanie, and Eric here, since we all went out for paintballing once, but other than that I didn't know anybody.
Apparently, neither did Jamal.
Although Andre is a great friend, he's not the best at hosting congratulatary parties.
Most of the people had cleared out now. Only Gemma, Eric, and I remained. Gemma was sleeping beside me, and Andre was passed out on the other side. Jamal had guided Eric to his room, and I guess he fell asleep too.
I wasn't sure where Leo was, since I barely saw him all night. I was surprised that he wasn't partying like the others were. Even Jamal had more than 4 shots to himself. However, I didn't see Leo near alcohol even once. Maybe he was partying with someone in Andre or Jamal's room.
'No. He isn't like that,' I thought, shaking my head profusely.
Gemma stirred beside me, breaking me out of my reverie. She moved so that she was leaning on the edge of the couch, freeing me completely. I finally let out a deep breath and slowly got up. Immediately, I went over to the kitchen to start cleaning.
I simply needed to get my mind off of Leo. Now my thoughts escalated to him possibly being in bed with someone else and-
I quickly grabbed the empty beer bottles and took them to the kitchen. I dumped them all in the garbage bag. Then I grabbed all the dishes and threw them in the sink. And then, I was cleaning and scrubbing and getting all the gunk off of every single dish.
As I got closer to the last few dishes, I heard footsteps behind me. However, I was too engrossed in getting one mark off the plate I was holding, that I didn't notice the footsteps were getting closer.
Suddenly, someone came to a stop right behind me, their body touching my back. Not only that, two arms came around and stopped beside my waist, resting on either side of the counter.
My breathing laboured and the plate I was holding slipped from my hands into the sink below.
"Whoa, easy there Moonie," he smoothly said.
I was frozen in my spot as his arms moved closer to me, caging me in completely. He was nearly hugging me from behind and I was melting in arms again. He slowly reached out from around my waist and into the sink below. His front was completely pushed agsinst me, making my heart go haywire.
He slowly reached for the plate I had dropped earlier and held it out under the running tap. Then, he brought his other hand up and leaned forward to turn the tap on.
I couldn't breathe.
He was causing all sorts of unknown emotions to run through me as he was pushed against me. I could feel his breath on the back of my head, going all the way to my neck. I could feel his heart beating against my back. I could feel his chest against my spine and I was losing control.
What felt like an eternity later, he finally finished rinsing the plate, and he placed it onto the dry side. And then, his hands were back to their original place by my waist.
We didn't say anything, and neither did we move. We stayed like that for the longest time, both of us lost in thought.
I bet he was wondering why I ignored him. Why I left him the morning after he kissed me. But not once did he ask. He was giving me the space I didn't even ask for, but clearly needed. And now he was here, still not directly asking, but somehow I knew he wanted to know.
And that was something I couldn't tell him.
I turned around in his arms, wanting to leave before I did something stupid. But as I turned and his warm breath fell upon my face, I slowly had the urge to look at him. Slowly, I tilted my chin up.
As my eyes connected with his warm brown ones, I suddenly felt myself getting sad. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve me. Leo Kennedy deserved the world.
He was nearly a breath away, his nose an inch away from my own. If either of us moved, we could repeat the kiss we shared on Thursday. However, I couldn't let that happen. Not again.
Slowly, he brought a hand up and gingerly placed it on my cheek, caressing it with the back of his hand. When he pulled it back I realized I had been crying.
"You can't push me away even if you tried Moonie," he said slowly.
His voice was ever-strong, something I admired so much in him. He never truly gave away the hurt he was feeling on the inside.
"That's the scary part, Leo. That I can't."
And then, I pushed out of his grasp to leave.