The day started in the gift shop. Stan was trying to resist the urge to punch his customer, Tyler, while I was cleaning the counter.
Tyler: I like to get my Christmas shopping done early. Do you have anything that's in the spirit of the season?
Stan: Uh, how about these crystals?
Tyler: Haha, looks like broken glass!
Stan: What are you, a cop?
Tyler: Oh, what is that new thing?!? *runs to a shelf*
Stan: Eesh...!
You: *chuckle*
Dipper and Mabel:*enter the gift shop*
Dipper: Grunkle Stan?
Mabel: Can we go to the diner? *grabs her stomach* We're hungry!
Dipper: *does the same as Mabel* Hungry!
Dipper and Mabel: Rahhh *hit their stomachs together multiple times*
Stan: Yeah, sure, as long as this yahoo makes up his mind.
Tyler: *points at a hairy fish on the wall* Do you have this in another animal?
You: Can I go as well? I haven't had my breakfast yet.
Mabel: That's not a question, of course you're coming!!!
You: Sweet!
Stan: *looks at Tyler* ...I'm fine locking him inside if you are.
Dipper and Mabel: *nod*
You: On it! *go to the closet*
I get the wooden plank and give it to Stan before we all go outside. Stan uses the plank to lock the door, locking Tyler inside (he didn't notice). We go to Greasy Diner and sit down at a table. After a few seconds of waiting and reading the menu, Lazy Susan came to take our orders.
Stan: Lazy Susan, there's my little ray of sunshine! Where were you yesterday~?
Lazy Susan: I got hit by a bus!!!
Stan: *laugh* Hilarious!!!
Lazy Susan: Thank you!!! *laughs for an awkward amount of time*
Stan: You do split plates, right?
Lazy Susan: Maybe. *takes her lazy eye, opens it, and closes it* Wink.
Stan: Great!!! We'll all split a one fourth to the number seven, plus a free salad dressing for the ladies and a small plate of ketchup for the boy!
Lazy Susan: *leaves*
Mabel: But Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes!
You: *stomach grumbles* Yeah, I'm in the mood for pancakes myself...
Stan: With the fancy flour they use these days? What am I, made of money? *notices a dollar sticking out of his sleeve and taps it back in* Tap tap.
Dipper: *looks at a game at the other side, then cracks his knuckles* Don't worry guys, pancakes are on me.
You: What are you babbling about?
Dipper: I'm gonna win some by beating that manliness tester!
You: Uh... *look at Mabel and Stan expectantly* ...
Stan: Manliness tester?
Mabel: Beating?
Stan and Mabel: *burst into an uncomfortable laughter*
Dipper: What? What's so funny?
Mabel: Oh, no offense Dipper, but you're not exactly Manly Mannington, hahaha!
Dipper: I am too manly... mani or whatever you it is you said.
Stan: Look, face the music kid, you got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's incident.
You: What happened?
Dipper: U-uh...
Mabel: You were listening to Girly Icelandic Pop Sensation Babba?
Dipper: No, hehe, I wasn't, that's not important. Look, c'mon guys, I'm plenty masculine! See this chest hair? *pulls down the neckline of his shirt*
Mabel: *looks away* Put it away, put it way!!!!
Stan: *covers his eyes* So smooth!!!
Dipper: *embarrassedly fixes on his shirt* Oh man.
Mabel and Stan: *laugh some more*
You: ...
Dipper: Fine, family of little faith, get ready to eat your words. And a plate of delicious pancakes.
He goes over, I was worried. When it comes to his pride, Dipper can be a bit... head strong. He ends up failing the test and tells everyone the machine is broken. That's when Manly Dan walks over to the machine. Dipper tries to convince him the game's broken, but he ignores Dipper. He pushes the handle with his pinkie and wins the highest score giving everyone pancakes. Stan and Mabel laughed some more. I, however, felt bad for him. He ended up leaving the diner and I decided to follow him.
I tried to catch up yelling his name trying to get his attention. Along the way he bumped into a woman who was looking for the mailman. Dipper took it personally, in a way, as in he's not a "male" "man". I finally caught up to him, he was lifting "weights" but it was only a small branch. And he was having trouble lifting that up.
Dipper: Two.......... Three........... Four........
You: What are you doing?
Dipper: *throws the stick and sits up embarrassed* (y/n)!!! Wha-what are you doing here?!?
You: I wanted to apologize for what happened...
Dipper: Yeah well... *sits in a log and takes out a bag of jerky* They're right about me anyways... *eats a piece of jerky*
You: *sit next to him* Dip, c'mon. So you're not as strong as others, so what?
Dipper: It's not just that, (y/n)!!! People just see me as a joke here!!!
You: Dipper-
Dipper: Hey, do you-?
Many animals came running our way, a tree was about to fall on us and I push us both away from it. Then we heard a loud rawr, causing chills up my spine. A half man half bull came running towards us. We both let out a high pitched scream before Dipper purposely changed the tone of his voice.
???: *lets out a rawr before taking a deer and scratches his back with it, then throws to the side*
Deer: *gets up as if nothing happened and runs off*
???: *looks at you and throws the log you were hiding behind away*
You: Please don't eat us!!!
???: You!!! *points at Dipper, then at the bag of jerky* Gonna finish that?
Dipper: *gives the creature the bag* No?
???: *starts to eat the jerky*
Dipper: I can't believe it, part animal part human.
You: Are you some kind of minotaur?
???: I'm a manotaur!!! Half man, half uh... half taur!!!
Dipper: So did we like, summon you or...
Manotaur: The smell of jerky summoned me! Jerky!!!!! *punches a tree, then takes a rock and breaks it with his head* YEAH!!!!! Haha!!!! *sniffs, then sniffs Dipper* I smell... emotional issues...!!!
You: You can smell that...?
Dipper: I got problems Manotaur, man related problems.
Manotaur: *sits down*
Dipper: Well, my own uncle called me a wimp and I kinda flunked this manliness video game thing.
Manotaur: Hm, mm...
Dipper: Hey, you know, you seem pretty manly, maybe you could give me some pointers?
Manotaur: Very well. *stands up* Climb atop my back here, child.
Dipper: Uh, ok.
You: Wait, Dipper!
Dipper: Hm?
You: ... I'll see you later...?
Dipper: *nods*
He got on the beast's back and they ran off. I decided to go back home. Mabel was apparently trying to make Stan "datable" if that makes sense. I had planned to slouch on the couch and watch Duck-tective, but Mabel called me along with Soos who was dressed as Lazy Susan?
Stan: *shuffles cards*
Mabel: Ok Grunkle Stan, welcome to the first day of whatever is left of your life. First, a before picture. *takes a picture of Grunkle Stan*
Stan: AH!!! *gets blinded by the camera's flash*
Mabel: *as she places the picture inside her photo album* I never miss a scrapbookatunity! Let's start out with some role play. Soos will play Lazy Susan.
Soos: I'm soft like a woman.
Mabel: Grunkle Stan, show me how you approach a woman. Remember this is a safe nonjudgmental environment. I'll just be right off to the side judging you on a scale of one to ten.
Stan: *walks slowly and nervous to Soos*
Soos: *looks at Stan expectantly*
Stan: *spits on the floor* Can I borrow some money?
Mabel: *blows a whistle* This is gonna be harder than I thought.
The day went by fast. Dipper hadn't come, but Mabel needed a lot of help so I was busy most of the day. In the end...
Mabel: *looks at Stan's before picture* Ok Grunkle Stan, you started like this, but you became... *looks at Stan*
You: Much much worse...
Stan: Can I scratch myself now?
Mabel: No! No no no!!! Is that throw up on your shirt?
Stan: I don't know how to answer that.
Mabel: *sighs frustrated as she rips the picture in half*
You: Face it, Mabel. Your uncle's unfixable, like that spinning pie trolly thing at the diner.
Mabel: *smiles, then grabs your wrist and pulls you to the door* Grunkle Stan, come with us! And leave your pants at home!!! *pulls you away as Stan follows you*
We end up going to the diner. Mabel brought me along for back up. Lazy Susan was still punching the pie trolly thing.
Lazy Susan: Spin, spin!!!
Mabel: Lazy Susan, listen, I know he's not much to look at but you're always fixing stuff at the diner. And if you like fixing stuff, nothing could use more fixing than my Grunkle Stan. Also women live longer than men so your dating pool's smaller and you should really lower your standards.
Stan: So Lazy Susan, what do you say?
Lazy Susan: ... *leaves*
Stan: *sigh*
You: Better luck next time...
Lazy Susan: Hey, here's my number!!! Won't you give me a call sometime!!! *gives him a piece of paper*
Stan: *takes the paper* Really?
Lazy Susan: Really!!! *laughs* Also here's some pie. *puts the pie on the table* On the house. For you!!! *leaves*
Mabel: *shrieks then sits down* We did it!!!
You and Stan: *sit down*
Mabel: When are you gonna call?!? You wanna call now?!? I don't have a phone!!! Let's buy a phone!!! We can put it on a credit card!!! Let's get a credit card!!!
Stan: Mabel, let a man enjoy his pie.
You: *laugh*
Mabel: *looks out the window and bangs the glass* Dipper!!! It's me Mabel!!! I'm looking at you through the glass!!! Right here!!! This is my voice!!! I'm taking to you from inside!!!
Dipper: *nods and goes to the diner's door*
You: You act like you've never seen through a window before.
Mabel: I just like to yell.
Dipper: *sits next to you*
Mabel: Did you see me through the-?!?
Dipper: Yes...
You: What's wrong?
Dipper: I don't want to talk about it...
Stan: Good.
Dipper: It's just these half man half bull humanoids were hanging out with me.
Stan: Here we go.
Dipper: But then they wanted me to do this tough horrible thing, but it just wasn't right so I said no...
Stan: You were your own man and stood up for yourself.
Dipper: Huh?
You: Stan's right! You did what was right even though no one agreed with you. Sounds pretty manly to me, but what do I know.
Dipper: *smiles*
Mabel: Wait a minute, do my eyes deceive me?!? You have a chest hair!!!
Dipper: *looks at his chest and gasps* You're right!!! I do!!! This is amazing, I really do!!! Take that man tester, take that Petuataur!!!
Stan: Petuataur?!?
Dipper: This guy has chest hair!!!
Mabel: *pulls out the chest hair with tweezers and places the hair in her album* Scrapbookatunity!
Dipper: *looks at Mabel disappointedly*
You: *giggle*
Stan: Don't worry, kid, if you're anything like me there's more where that came from. *shows his chest hair*
You: Ew!!!!
Dipper: Ah, gross!!!!
You, Dipper, Mabel, Stan: *laugh*
Dipper: Seriously, that's disgusting.
Later on, Stan was getting really annoyed with Lazy Susan's calls. I just went to my room laughing. Dipper was still pretty bummed out about today. I took my journal and started to right before...
Dipper: *sits up* (y/n), will I ever be manly?
You: Maybe, but why do you care?
Dipper: Well, ...everyone's always making fun of me for being a wimp.
You: So? Who cares what they think?
Dipper: *buries his face in his hands as he sighs*
You: *sit on Dipper's bed and grab his hands* Dip, don't worry about them. The people who really matter already know how great you are! You might not have muscle, but you're perfect already, don't change. Ok?
Dipper: ...thanks (y/n)
You: Anytime.
Thanks for watching!!! 'Till next time!!!
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