Twenty days. That was all the time I had left with James. Not counting weekends. Twenty fucking days. I stared at the computer screen for a few minutes. My brain couldn't comprehend this. Not even a month. Twenty fucking days. I was losing him already. I blinked back the tears, pretending to do my science research proposal instead. I checked the time. James and I were supposed to be meandering the halls.
I "went to the bathroom". I passed James's class but he still sat there, his back to me. He had forgotten. I shook my head slightly, and walked around for a bit. He really had forgotten. I wasn't really mad, not at him.
But if he could forget me so easily while we were still at school, imagine what would happen when he left. I wasn't some gorgeous chick who'd be unforgettable. I was just Meera, a girl who was stuck loving someone who was leaving.
It sounded cheesy, cliched, and like a corny romance novel on Wattpad. But it wasn't. This was real life, not just some story where the guy defies everything just to stay with his girl. Because this wasn't a soulmate, or some true love bullshit. This was a guy and a girl who really liked each other but whose time was limited because the guy had better opportunities and strict parents who wanted him to go to a different school, even though there was nothing wrong with this school.
But I'm not going to hate on James or his parents. This was the course of life. You meet people all the time. And you lose them, too.
I pretended to be mad at James, and he thought I was. But the truth is, I wasn't mad at him. But at our situation. I had always considered myself unlucky. That my love life was cursed. I used to tell myself that every guy I liked always ended up liking one of my friends.
But the thing is, I didn't even know I had liked James until way afterward. Until I was in so deep I hadn't realized it. Until I started hating those unexpected snowstorms that stole my days with him. When he had first told me that he was leaving I tried to persuade him to stay. But even I hadn't realized that in that moment he had stolen my heart.
Everyone used to make fun of me, saying the reason I wanted him to stay was because I liked him. And deep down it was so fucking true it hurt.
But the fact that I lose him in twenty days...I don't know how I'll be able to survive. To see him until then and not wonder what it's going to be like not searching for him in the halls or counting down until lunch or one of my classes with him. What would it be like not hearing his laugh every day, or seeing his smile? Or hearing someone say how cute he and I were. I know this is so cringy, so fucking cliched, but I can't help it.
Maybe he will realize his true talent at Harrison High School. Maybe he'll be happier there. Maybe he'll meet the love of his life there.
I just wish I had more time. But isn't the wish of all?
I mean he isn't dying. But I may never see him again. I don't want to let go, to give up, but it might get so hard that I will have to. I'll have to let him go eventually. But so soon?
I guess that's why I was so mad at him on Friday. Because he will forget me eventually. And I'll have to accept that. I won't be able to search the entire cafeteria waiting for him. I won't be able to steal his phone from him, or pester him for homework. I won't be able to try and make him jealous. I won't be able to hug him. I won't be able to see him, or hear his annoying voice.
I want to scream and cry at the same time.
I had always wondered what it was like, to have feelings reciprocated for me. To be in an actual relationship that isn't dangerous, or toxic. Something real.
But I had never expected it to be James. I hadn't even glanced his way, until that fateful day in geometry. I had only wanted to get closer to him because I was curious. He was one of the non-dickheads of my grade. I hadn't expected him to be that person who drove me insane. Who made me smile even when I didn't want to. I hadn't expected him to be the one I wanted to hug and kiss.
I hadn't expected him to be my first boyfriend.
I guess in life strange things will happen. Sometimes we see things headed our way before they happen so we are prepared.
Sometimes things just hit us unexpectedly, like a snowstorm in March.
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This story is dedicated to someone special.
And even though the real story hasn't reached its end yet I've written the ending to this one. If there are some important events between now and the end of the real story, I'll had them as bonus chapters.
To that someone special, I'm pretty sure you'll read this story. And these words. I hope I'm with you when you read this chapter. If I don't get the chance to give you what I wanted to give you, this story is a way to remember me when you leave. Please try not to forget me. I really do love you. You were my unexpected love.