Chapter 21:
Draco
It's not every day you expect yourself to actually want to see the person you claim to hate. But with how the past month has turned out, I think I'm man enough to admit that maybe seeing Hadley wasn't so bad. As demonstrated by the happy surprises I get whenever she pops up in my periphery in the many school corridors. One that just happened to be right now.
"Hadley." I drawled, "Let Smith go."
Apout immediately settled on her otherwise pissed face a she looked up at me, but kept her hand on Smith's wrist, holding him in place, with his arm twisted behind him, his front plastered to the wall, and his face red and fuming.
"But-"
"Let him go." I interrupted her and she very reluctantly loosened her hold on him, but the colour on his face was darkening by the second, his head filling with enough air to explode like a balloon and as comical as it would've been I did have to intervene.
"You little-"
"Scram, Smith." I snapped at him making him shut his mouth at once before he could get anything else out and set off Hadley, "Don't push it." I advised coming to stand between them, scanning Carina quickly to see if she was injured, but apart from the angry flush on her cheeks, she looked unharmed, Smith on the other hand was one step away from emitting smoke out of his ears.
"Skedaddle." I prompted, turning to block his view of her and I heard Carina huff, no doubt gearing up to tell him off. But that just set him off instead, his red balloon of a face rising to tomato levels.
"Are you out of your mind?" he hissed, trying to push past me and get to Carina but his badly aimed jab didn't even stir me, "Did you see what she was doing to me-"
"He touched me." Carina snarled, poking her fuming head from behind me, her eyes blazing with a very clear promise of threat and I moved to cover her again. "I told you very explicitly!" she trilled behind me, "I told you don't fucking touch me-" she snapped, trying to get me out of the way as I simple turned around, wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her into me, laying waste to all her struggling.
"You are acting like a world class bitch, you know?" Smith sneered, narrowing his eyes at us, as Carina scoffed, "You both are sick and twisted and scare people with your stupid Slytherin snake tendencies!"
"Say that again, asshole." Carina hissed, going still against me and I tightened my arm around her, standing up to my full height and glaring down at Smith, "And I promise you, I won't even need my wand to kick your fat arse."
"You're a bully!" he shouted and I shook my head at him, but he just shifted his attention to Carina who was more his height, "You're just a bully with a hot body and I think I'm talking for everyone here when I say you're a bitch to other people-"
"Enough." I ground out, shaking Carina as she opened her mouth to retort, "One more word against her Smith and I-"
"Oh so you both are teaming up now?" he laughed, "I heard the rumour, but had decided to give you some benefit of doubt, Carina. But lowering yourself to Malfoy standards?"
Okay, that's it.
"I don't need to justify myself to you, pig." Carina snarled and I pushed her away, giving me the surprise edge that was shown on Smith's face.
"I warned you, Smith." I murmured, taking the one step separating us, to put us on arms-length, "Don't say another word about her." Stepping close enough to him to corner him into the wall, I continued, "But then you go ahead and insult me too?"
His face paled as I glowered down at him, but for some fucking reason, he still opened his mouth, "I'm not scared of you-" My fist had cut him off with a sickening crack. "Motherfucker!" he grunted, his hand coming up to his face immediately, but the blood was still seeping through his fingers.
I smirked and a full blown laugh echoed from my side as I flexed my hand, newly red from the contact. Wrapping my other arm around Hadley's waist I stepped back, "If you touch her," I warned, my arms flexing, "it won't be your nose I break the next time."
*
In a school where news spread like wildfire, I had expected everyone to know what happened with Smith before I even woke up the next morning. But to my surprise, apart from the very beautiful announcement of Blaise informing me that Smith was sporting a broken nose and nobody knew how, the morning was free of my name being thrown into the mix, or Carina's for that matter. That is, until we finally trudged onto the greenhouse for the first lesson of the day and Daphne dashed in, a few minutes too late, alone and with a muffin stuffed into her mouth.
Quickly skipping to the front, she handed Professor Sprout two pieces of parchment, exchanged nods and hurried words and was back at our table, still with a pointedly empty seat next to her.
I wasn't the one who asked, at least I showed that restraint.
"Where's Hadley?" Blaise enquired as we pulled on our gloves for class and Daphne sighed, slumping against the table before she looked at the both of us.
"She's a little too sick." She explained, getting ready for class just as Pansy claimed Carina's empty seat.
"How is she?" Pansy enquired, looking earnest and a slow ball formed in my stomach looking at Pansy's expression. If Pansy was worried, it must be bad and Carina never skips class, she loves it. She's the Slytherin Granger. No, wait, she doesn't need to be compared to that. Carina is just the girl who loves to learn, it's written across her face when she's in class, the fact that she's hot and in Slytherin just helps.
Daphne shot Pansy a small smile, "Madam Pomfrey says she'll be fine by the end of the day."
That did nothing to stop the ball from expanding in its diameter.
"What happened?" Blaise cut in, and Daphne turned her light gaze at us, looking forlorn as we all turned to stare blankly at whatever Sprout was spouting off. "Carina doesn't miss classes, Daph."
Daphne shrugged, "She's anaemic."
"So?" I asked, leaning forwards to read her expression and trying to think what Carina looked like when we separated in the Common Room last night. Apart from the alarming paleness she had going, which she blamed her time of the month for, she was fine.
Fuck should I've been concerned when she said she's beat so early?
"So, for anaemic girls, the time of the month is horrible." Daphne said softly, her lips pursing, "And Carina has her fair share of problems."
The saplings in front of me could've come to life and eaten up Blaise, but I wouldn't have taken my eyes off Daphne, the ball in my stomach almost made it impossible for me to "And she's in the hospital wing right now?"
Daphne nodded, looking down and pulling a potted plant towards her, "Madam Pomfrey has it covered, nothing a potion can't solve."
Nope, still there.
"So she'll be okay?" Blaise asked, looking motherly concerned as always, "Has this happened before?"
"No." Daphne mumbled, "This is new."
Pretty sure the ball is dissolving into my veins now.
Blaise and Pansy resumed working then, looking sufficiently sated with Daphne's answers.
"But what?" I pressed, still not touching my work, "What aren't you telling us?"
Daphne's head snapped up at me, her blue eyes narrowing at my stance, "But nothing-"
"Bullshit."
Her face fell, "Why do you care?"
Why do I care?
I shrugged, "Just curious, Greengrass."
And worried. Why am I worried?
"Not obliged to tell you, Malfoy." She shot back challengingly, eerily similar to Carina's sharp retorts and I almost smirked.
"Hadley told you to not say this, didn't she?" I asked easily, pulling the plant near, my shoulders relaxing as I pictured head-strong Carina warning Daphne not to tell people about her weak moments.
"No." Daphne shot back immediately, "She didn't."
This time, I smirked fully, already coming to the conclusion that I was going to see her as soon as I made it back to the castle. It was crazy how easily that ball vanished with that thought.
"Whatever, Greengrass."
"Cut it out, Draco." Blaise shot me, "We'll ask her when she see her."
"Oh yeah we can see her at lunch." Pansy absentmindedly added in, her main focus the plant in front.
Lunch will be interesting today.
*
I didn't wait till lunch.
There was no way I was going to sit through History of Magic without wondering about her anyway. Besides, today is not the day I want to start paying attention to the gauntly ghost.
The best part about being a prefect has got to be the right to roam corridors whenever we want. It's also a right I abuse way too much. So when the hospital wing popped up after I turned left, my feet stopped, refusing to move forward and refocusing my mind to the dangerous black box I keep locked.
I don't hate her anymore. I haven't for a long time. But that doesn't mean I like her all of a sudden. It just means we were friends before and maybe just maybe we are back to it now.
This chant is getting old, sighing I resumed walking, slower this time. Once my mind had caught up with my body, things become slower, logical and somewhat terrible.
It was quiet when I slipped inside the huge infirmary, with almost all the cots empty except two, both on two different ends. It didn't even take me a second to find her. She was asleep, curled up around a pillow, her face almost as white as the sheet covering her and a very familiar hoodie peeking though.
It almost made me laugh as I passed the second year Ravenclaw, also asleep, his face covered in boils.
Carina has been hoarding that hoodie since I lent it to her. Not like she won't give it back, she would, all washed and clean, give it back to me, only to take it away a few days later and then not give it back for longer. It's a miracle how nobody else has noticed this. But then, our friends are a bit too oblivious for their own good.
Looking around to make sure the matron wasn't around, I shuffled up to Carina's bed. I want to say she looked better, but she didn't. Not any different than she did last night. Except she was cold, ice cold as I traced a finger across her cheek, before planting a small kiss on his forehead making her eyelids flutter open.
"Dray?" She murmured, her face leisurely waking up as I stood leaning over her, the morning vulnerability slowly fading to her usual mask.
"Hey." I whispered, backing off and taking a seat on her bed.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, yawning.
"Well, imagine my surprise." I started as I scanned her face, her cheeks were filling with colour, "That after I found you fighting Smith last night, I find out from Daphne that you're in the hospital wing this morning."
Her eyes narrowed, "What?"
For a smart person, she sure loves playing dumb.
I tsked, pursing my lips as I gave her a firm look, "Is this something to do with you skipping meals?"
Her face scrunched up at my accusation, so I continued, "Daphne said you were anaemic and she said with all the problems you already-"
"I don't have a problem." Carina hissed suddenly, her jaw locking as she glared at me, "Is that why you're here?"
"No." I snapped back at her, annoyed with her already. This is why I'm sure I don't like her. She manages to annoy the fuck out of me unless her tongue is down my throat.
"Then why are you here?" she asked tersely, looking away from me as she wrapped her arms around herself.
"Just making sure the fight with Smith didn't leave any lasting effects." I scoffed out and stood up, she didn't even turn to me as I took a step back, her eyes still fixed on the window behind me.
"Answer, Hadley." I ground out, wondering why my legs weren't listening to my command to storm out and why in the world was there a relieved feeling in my chest at her bettering form.
Her head snapped to me, hazel eyes blazing as she said, "Is that all you wanted to know?" she pressed, "I haven't skipped a meal in a long time Malfoy. So no I don't have a problem."
"Then why are you here?!" I threw back, my voice rising an octave as I glared at her, wanting nothing more than to shove her off the damn bed, but then pick her up and put her on my lap.
"It's just a painful period, Malfoy." She said, "Nothing I can't deal with."
"It's never happened before-"
"There's a first time for everything." She cut me off, eyeing me evenly as if she knew what I was thinking and that one look, broke all the self-control I had been holding on to as my feet flew forwards, hands wrapping around her torso as my mouth descended on hers, swiftly and surely.
Like an action that had been done a million times, something you couldn't go wrong with.
It was that jarring thought that had me pulling back, much to her dismay and I grimaced, gently lowering my arms from around her as I got up. She stared at me curiously, "What's wrong?"
My throat felt parched, "No-nothing." I said, clearing my throat, "You're recuperating."
Her eyes narrowed, "So?"
"So, let's." I paused, taking a step away, "Let's wait till you're out of here, okay?"
I didn't even wait for her answer, my feet had already carried me to the door, and throwing a last look I shut the door.
*
I didn't visit her at lunch with the others. In fact I went as far as to not even ask about her at lunch when Zabini and Pansy returned. It shocked no one when Crabbe and Goyle said they'll see her after they're done eating, so I took the opportunity and grouped myself with them; if only to avoid whatever I was feeling for a while.
"I'm glad she's alright." Pansy randomly said after a beat of silence as we all focused on eating.
"Why won't she be?" Blaise asked, raising a dark eyebrow at Pansy's faraway face. She shrugged, her eyes falling on us.
"Well with all the drama with her mum," Pansy started, "I was prepared to see her fall back into her old habits."
This is interesting.
"Drama with her mum?" I asked, swallowing some water to seem nonchalant.
"Old habits?" Zabini cut in.
Pansy sighed, letting go of the bread-roll fully, "When she first started sneaking around, and after Draco exposed Care's secret, I was convinced she's falling back to them. It does get weird when someone who is so close to their mother, all of a sudden doesn't want to talk to them at all."
"What happened?" Zabini asked, leaning forward and I wanted to groan. Mentally telling myself to spend more time with Zabini since he was becoming Pansy 2.0.
Looking around, Pansy leaned in to, lowering her voice as she went on, "Over the summer, Carina's mother lost the man she loved."
I know.
"And?" Goyle asked, wait Goyle too?
When the fuck did I surround myself with gossipmongers?
"And now, she's been shacking up with someone else." Pansy whispered feverishly, looking halfway giddy and I scowled, the disgust rolling off me in waves. But obviously none of them sensed it.
"So Carina's mum got a new boyfriend?" Blaise asked, looking unimpressed, "What's that got to do with anything?"
Pansy tsked, looking at Blaise in disbelief, "Ed, the man who died was essentially Carina's only father figure."
If possible, Blaise's face turned more disinterested and then it clicked, of course Blaise won't give a fuck. His mother marries a new man every year!
Sighing I cut in, "Edward Johnson?" I asked, already knowing the answer but Pansy shot me a surprised look.
"You knew him?" she asked, and I shook my head in disgust.
"Of course not." I spat, "I know his brother."
"His what now?" Blaise asked, also looking at me with the same expression on his face.
"Emmet Johnson, is a lackey at the Ministry." I ground out, pushing my plate away with distaste, "Also has a squib brother, Edward Johnson."
"Wait what?-"
"Angelina Johnson." I carried on, ripping the bread form Zabini's plate to shreds, "Is Emmet's daughter."
"Holyshit" Pansy breathed, "So Carina's mum loved a squib?"
I nodded, running a hand down my face as I finally recalled the story I had been wanting to tell them since the end of fourth year.
"But she doesn't anymore, right?" Crabbe asked, looking at Pansy, "He died and now she's with someone else."
Pansy nodded, quite vigorously, "Yeah, but Carina isn't too happy about it."
"I wouldn't be either." Goyle murmured, but went back to eating almost immediately. Pansy stood up, then, brushing her skirt as she looked around, eyeing Angelina who was busy guffawing with the Gryffindorks.
"Well that certainly is interesting." She said lightly, "But now I feel bad for Care."
"Why?" Zabini asked, scrunching up his face, "Carina doesn't look the type to let sentiment get the better of her."
What?!
"True." Pansy replied, "But I've shared a dorm with her for five years and I know when something is wrong." That said she spun around, walking out of the Great Hall, looking like this school year was just like all the others we have had. Where our friends aren't committing suicide and all of us aren't sneaking behind everyone's back.
"When is Hadley getting out of the Infirmary?" Crabbe asked, and I shrugged.
I didn't even want that answer.
"Before dinner." Zabini said, and got up, motioning for me to as well, "C'mon, let's get to class."
"Why?" I asked, glancing down the table at Nott, who was busy in conversation with Astoria, his face much happier and clearer, "We have a good 20 minutes."
A hand pulled me up, roughly, "Just c'mon Malfoy."
Great, now I'm going to have Zabini on my back.
"Okay, fine." I cut in, yanking my arm out of his grip and started walking, making sure to keep a few meters between us, lest he went around pulling me around again. I'm not a dog you can manhandle.
"So." Blaise said, as we descended down the main school staircase to get to Care of Magical Creatures, "Is that why you hate, Hadley?"
"Hmm?" I murmured, turning back to look at him, mid-step questioningly. He just rolled his eyes.
"The Squib connection." Zabini said, as he came to stand next to me, "You figured it out sometime last year."
"So?" I asked, moving down to avoid looking at him.
"It's why you don't like her." He concluded, easily falling into step beside me.
"Sure, let's go with that." I muttered, trying and failing to not think about what this recollection did to our arrangement.
"Malfoy-"
"He's dead, Zabini." I cut him off, looking at him square in the eye, "It doesn't matter anymore, Carina is still a pain in my arse though."
"So you don't hate her anymore?" he asked smirking a bit as I ran a hand through my hair, hoping my face isn't colouring up.
No.
"Nope," I said easily, "I still hate her." His light eyes narrowed at my admission, no doubt looking for an opening, well he'll just have to keep looking, because there sure as hell wasn't any.
If this conversation wasn't a wake-up call, I don't know what else is. We need to end it. This arrangement or convenient way of blowing off some steam procedure we have in place has run its course. She doesn't need to know that I don't hate her anymore, or the way Smith looking at her makes me want to gouge his eyes out. I cannot have possessive feelings towards her. Because there is only one place those feelings go and I cannot go there with a muggle-lover. No matter how dead those muggles are in her life.
Carina and I have reached our expiration date.
Man, she's going to cut my ball off.
*
I want to say I handled the situation like a responsible wizard, as someone who is less than two years away from becoming an adult and as someone who is known to be smart.
I didn't.
When I next saw Carina, hurtling away from Snape's office a paper snatched in her hand, I didn't even ask before I pulled her to me and inside the dingy classroom we had spent our first few rendezvous in. It was after I was done kissing her like a parched man that I my fingers finally clasped around the paper she had balled up roughly.
And it was only when we broke apart to regain our breaths that my mind kicked in, almost bashing me in the process and I stepped away from Carina, taking a deep breath. I needed a clear mind if we were going to have this conversation.
"What's up?" she asked, flattening her back on the door as she regarded me amusedly.
This is going to be such a jerk move.
I bit the inside of my cheek, closing in on her to look at her while I explain the conundrum, and maybe just maybe, prevent her from hitting me.
But she sighed before I even opened my mouth, her face growing impassive as she slumped against the door, "You want to end it." She stated plainly, no emotion leaking into her voice.
"No!" I shot back immediately, before I realized that really wasn't the best way to go, "I mean-yes, I do-but not because I want to."
Her face creased up in confusion, "Then why?" she asked, her fingers tensing and relaxing around the yellowing paper still in her hand, continuously, "It's written across your face."
"How?" I asked, my eyes still drawn to the paper.
She shrugged, the movement making me look back at her face, "Well I could see it on your face this morning when you realised that.." she faltered, "then you didn't bother coming with the others during lunch and the Smith incident did do something to you-"
"No it didn't-"
"Plus that kiss," She pressed on, "you were kissing me like it was the last time."
That were a lot of things to figure out in less than a minute.
"Um-"
"It's fine." She cut me off, "I kind of know why."
"Why?" I asked stupidly.
Her mouth opened immediately before she shut it back like a fish, looking unsure for the first time. Then she exhaled, and with a defeated look whispered, "You realised we don't hate each other anymore."
I sucked in a breath, not expecting her to hit the bulls-eye but I pursed my lips, nodding.
"So." I let out a long breath, leaning behind on an old wood desk, "Where does that leave us?"
She pouted, her eyes dancing all around the room at my question, "I guess, acquaintances?" she hazarded and I laughed.
It didn't take long for her to join in too.
Sure it wasn't the most adult way and I was lucky she was smart enough to figure out most of it, but at least my reproductive organs were still intact.
**