“Where have you been, Ellie?” Daniel repeated for the second time.
I rolled my eyes. “Nowhere, Daniel.”
I sat down on the bed and then lay backwards, staring up at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and sighed with frustration before opening my eyes again. I wish Daniel could just leave me alone. This isn’t the first time he caught me sneaking out at night. This has been the third time now.
“Ellie, tell me where you went before I tell Mom and Dad,” my brother rosed his voice.
I sat up. “I went for a walk, okay?”
“No, it’s not okay.”
“Daniel, you aren’t my father.”
He walked over to me. “No, I’m not. But I’m your elder brother and I care about you. I don’t want anything to happen to you after what that son of a bitch did to you.”
Daniel’s words stabbed me in the heart. I hate how he talked about James like that. Tears swelled up in my eyes and felt a bit angry at what he was saying.
“Don’t you dare call him that, Daniel,” I warned him.
My brother chuckled and then came to sit down beside me. “You’re seriously still trying to defend him, Ellie?”
“He is innocent, Daniel.”
Daniel made me look at him. I blinked back my tears as I stared at him. He looked so worried and I knew how much he cared about me. But I didn’t appreciate him being so overprotective like my parents were. He was a year older than me. He was always looking out for me and making sure that no one touched his baby sister. But of course there were some things that he couldn’t protect me from. Daniel and I have always been closed when growing up, but we drifted a bit after what happened.
“I know you want him to be innocent, Ellie. But you need to realise that what he did was wrong.”
“What did he do wrong? All he wanted to do was protect me, but he wasn’t able to do it.”
“He didn’t protect you. He hurt you. Look, if you keep sneaking out, I’m going to tell Mom and Dad. You know you aren’t supposed to leave this house without someone.”
I turned away from my brother and glanced down at my nails, cleaning off a bit of dirt that I had underneath my index finger. “Yeah, I guess I won’t ever be able to leave this house until the day I die.”
“No, that’s not true. Look, you’re beautiful, Ellie, and someday you will be able to find someone. But right now Mom and Dad just want to protect you from the same incident happening again.”
I turned my back to my brother so he couldn’t see the smile on my face. The last person who said that I was beautiful was James. I remember we were in his room while his dad was out of the house. I was lying on my stomach on his bed, reading over the assignment Mr Harris wanted us to do. James and I decided to work on the project together. He was standing at the stereo, searching for some music for us to listen to.
He settled on a group called Rascal Flatts. I wasn’t so into Country music, but this band wasn’t so bad. James put the CD in and joined me on his bed, lying on his stomach.
“So what do you think we should do for the assignment?” I asked him.
He shrugged. “I’m not sure. I was thinking that maybe do something with genres or something with cells.”
I liked his idea. “How about cell structures? Maybe cell structures in humans.”
“We could even make models of the cells.”
I smiled at him. “Sounds good. How are we going to do the models? I’m not very good with art. Seriously. Mrs Johnson almost gave me an F last year.”
James laughed. “An F in Visual Arts? Now that has gotta be the first that I have heard about you failing a subject. You’re so smart.”
“Thanks, but I don’t think I’m that smart.”
I turned to the textbook and flipped through it until I get to the chapter with human cells. From the corner of my eye I saw James reach over and pushed a strand of my wavy brown hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear. I turned to face him.
“You’re smart, Ellie,” he told me. “You’re smarter than any other girl I know. You’re also very beautiful and I’m glad I have you as a friend.”
I blushed. “All guys say that.”
“Yeah, but I’m not like the other guys. Those other guys would say it to get just one thing from you. I’m saying this because you’re my friend. And I swear that you’re the most beautiful brunette girl with amazing blue eyes.”
I smiled at his words. Since getting to know him I couldn’t work out why no one ever wanted to talk to him or get to know him. James Waters was one of the most nicest guys I have ever met, better than any other guys I know. A lot of the guys in my grade were jerks who only cared about one thing. James had high standards of respecting people and their feelings. He was always doing as he was told and never back chatted to anyone. If he was being bullied he never fought back. He just walked away and only fought if he had to. I’m not really sure what he does when his dad abuses him. He never talks much about the things his father does to him.
We stared at each other and for a moment I think he was going to lean over to kiss me. But he didn’t. Instead he glanced down at the textbook.
Daniel placed his hand on my shoulder. “Please understand why we are doing this, Ellie.”
I pushed my brother away and lay down on my bed. “Please get out of my room. I want to sleep.”
I turned on my side so I didn’t have to look at my brother. Without saying anything else he got up and left, closing the door behind him. I lay there thinking about everything he had said to me. But I’m nineteen now, twenty in two weeks. I can handle things on my own and I don’t need my family to protect me from the world. There are going to be some things were they can’t protect me from.
But what still upsets me, actually it makes me mad, that my own family won’t believe my own words of what really happened. I tried to say it in the court room, but no one wanted to believe me. They judge said I was only saying it to protect him and that I shouldn’t do it. I kept looking over at James, seeing the scared look on his face. We both knew no one wanted to believe us, even if we were both witnesses to a crime but he was punished for it all because of…
I don’t want to think about it anymore.
I switched off the lamp and crawled under the covers, trying my best to sleep.
The next morning I told my brother that I wanted to go to the shops. I was going to sneak out and go myself without him, but I knew after last night that he will most likely tell Mom and Dad about me sneaking out. All I wanted to do is check my mail. But I wanted to do it on my own without him knowing that I had a PO Box. I knew he would rip up my letter from James or show it to my parents.
Once Daniel pulled up in the parking lot of the mall, I unbuckle my belt and turned to him, “I’m only going to be a second. You can wait here.”
Daniel unbuckled his belt and took the keys out of the ignition. “Nice try, Ellie, but I’m still coming in with you no matter what you say.”
I rolled my eyes and got out of the car. I wish I was in prison with James. My whole life feels like I’m in jail at the current moment and I don’t think I’m ever going to be release.
I walked across the car park with my brother behind me, plotting an escape in my head.
“Hey, Daniel!” I heard someone say.
I turned to see some of my brother’s friends heading towards him. Yes. The perfect distraction to get away. Daniel yelled out to me to wait there and then turned to his friends. As soon as his back was turned, I made a run for the building. Once I reached the building, I looked back at my brother. One of his friends pointed to me. Daniel started running towards me. Oh crap.
I made a run for it. I quickly ran into a nearby clothes store, hiding behind a clothes rack of t-shirts. Daniel walked in, searching around for me. I prayed silently to myself that he wouldn’t see me at all. When his back was turn, I quickly tiptoed, knowing he could turn around any second. He looked behind racks, calling my name.
I took my chance and made a run for it, heading towards the post office without looking back to see if my brother had seen me. I walked over to where the PO Boxes were and opened up number 38. Inside was a small white envelope. I grabbed it and smiled when I saw his name in the back of the envelope. I folded it and then tucked it in the front pocket of my hoodie.
I started heading back to Daniel, knowing he was going to yell at me. I spotted him standing near a shoe store. He spotted me as well and threw his hands in the air with frustration, and then walked towards me.
“Where the hell did you go to, Ellie?” he asked me.
“Nowhere,” I answered.
“Nowhere? Ellie, you ran off from me.”
“So? I just wanted a little time to myself walking around without being baby-sat by my twenty-two year old brother.”
I turned and started walking away from him.
He grabbed my arm, digging his fingernails into my skin.
“Ow!” I tried to push his hand away, but he refused to let go. “Let go of me, Dan.” People walking by were staring at us.
“No. I’m not letting you go until you promise me to stop running off from me. If you don’t, I’m going to tell Mom and Dad everything about you sneaking out at night. I don’t think they would be too please with you disobeying their rules for your safety.”
I stared at my brother and knew I didn’t have a choice on what I really wanted. Just as I was about to promise him, I saw him walking towards my brother and I. Fear took over me as I spotted the tall brunette man with blue eyes as I made eye contact with him. I gripped hold of my brother’s hand. Mr Waters smirked at me as he walked past, making his way towards the grocery store.
I see Mr Waters once in awhile around the neighbourhood. I try to avoid him when I can. He is such a double face. In public he acts like he is totally disgusted and shameful that James is his son. But when he is around me, he acts like he is proud that James is in jail. I don’t know why he did it, but I reckon he told on James to get him back for being friends with me. His dad doesn’t really like him hanging out with anyone. Even when we were working on our project together he didn’t like it.
“Ellie?” my brother asked me, grabbing my shoulders and looking at me straight in the eye. I didn’t even realised he had managed to slip his hand out of mine after I held onto it so tightly. “What’s wrong?”
I couldn’t tell him. “Nothing is wrong.”
“Bull crap. You were digging your nails into my skin when you held my hand tightly. You were terrified.”
I couldn’t tell him about Mr Waters. And even if I did, he wouldn’t believe me at all. He will just say I’m making it up to protect James and so he would get out of his punishment for a crime he never committed. What a load of bull crap.
“It’s nothing, Daniel. Stop worrying about me.”
“I worry about you all the time, Ellie.”
“Can you please not worry about me for a second and just let me go get something.”
I saw the concern look in my brother’s eyes as he nodded and released me.
I headed towards the music store with Daniel behind me. I was glad he was behind me because I didn’t want him to see my face. I was terrified about being in the same building with Mr Waters. I just hope he stays in the grocery store. As I walked past the store, I eyed it with fear and trying to see James’ dad. I couldn’t see him at all and I was glad I couldn’t see him.
I walked into the music store and headed towards the section for bands. I searched for N and then searched for Nickelback, grabbing their new album. I smiled at the CD. James was going to enjoy it. I then headed to the S section, searching for an album from Secondhand Serenade. As soon as I saw the one I was looking for, I grabbed it. I have wanted their latest album for awhile but wasn’t able to get it. Secondhand Serenade was James’ favourite band. I never heard of them before and James had gotten me into them.
Since James had been sent to juvie, I had been collecting all music of his favourite bands. I have even brought ones of new bands for him to listen to, that way when he is release he will be able to catch up on the music he had missed out on for the past three years.
I headed to the cash register, paying for the CDs. Daniel then walk me out and we headed towards the car park. As I walked past the grocery store I looked over to see if I could see Mr Waters. I saw him paying for his stuff. I hurried towards the exit. As soon as Daniel unlocked the car, I climbed in.
“Wow, that’s the first time I have ever seen you walk out of the shops so quickly,” he said, putting his key into the ignition.
“I want to go home,” I answered.
“Do you mind if we make a quick stop at Clara’s house?”
“I want to go home.” All I wanted to do was sit in my room and open James’ letter.
“It’s only going to take a second, Ellie.”
I rolled my eyes. Knowing Daniel, he wasn’t going to take a short time to see his girlfriend. “Can’t you just drop me off at home?”
“You really like to make life difficult, don’t you?” he shifted the gears into reverse and reverse out of the lot.
“Well, maybe I just want to be alone in my room.”
“And do what? Sulk over that asshole?”
I threw my brother a filthy look. I then hugged the bag of CDs to my chest
For as long as I could remember, Daniel was just like all of the students in high school. When he found out I was hanging around him he would often tease James about hanging around me if he was ever to see him in the mornings when he dropped me off at school. One time he got out of the car just as he saw James on his bicycle and walked over to him as he ridden his bike over to the bike rack. I tried to stop Daniel, but he wouldn’t listen to me. He approached James, asking him why he was hanging around me. He even threatened him to stay away from me. I don’t even know why he would do that.
“What’s the matter, Waters?” Daniel asked him. “Can’t make friends with your own kind so you have to make friends with my sister?”
James ignored him and locked his bike up to the rack.
“Hey, I’m talking to you freak.” Daniel grabbed James’ hand and made him look at him, grabbing his shirt. “You listen here, Waters. You stay the hell away from my sister. Ellie doesn’t need to be hanging around you. No one likes you and I do not want you to be hanging around her. I don’t care if you guys are just lab partners, but when you’re outside the classroom, stay away from her. She has her own friends.”
James didn’t say anything. He just let my brother tell him what to do. Without saying anything else, Daniel left him, not even making eye contact with me as he walked past and headed back to his car. James stood there for a second staring at me before turning back to his bike, double checking that it was lock.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
He nodded. “I’m okay.”
“Sorry about that.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I’m surprised you never hit him. I think that’s what he was waiting for you to do.”
“I don’t believe in fighting or any kind of violence.”
“Even the things your dad does to you?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I don’t fight back. There’s no point. Besides, my dad is stronger than me so I have no chance of winning in a fight with him.”
“I don’t know how you can put up with the insults and threats thrown at you every day. I would most likely cry.”
“I just taught myself to stand tough and not let anything to get to me. It isn’t easy. But a bully’s goal is to put you down. The only way you don’t let them to have that goal is by not letting them to see the weak side of you because that’s when they will break you to pieces.”
It made perfect sense in what he was saying. It was something I never really thought of before.
The bell rang and James decided to walk me to homeroom.
“James, would you still be friends with me no matter what people say?” I asked.
He nodded. “Yeah, I would. I mean, what’s wrong with us being friends anyway?”
“I don’t know. People just think we shouldn’t be friends for some reason. People just think you’re weird because you don’t talk to anyone and all you do is listen to your iPod.”
“I just like listening to music. There’s no big deal about that. But no matter what people say, I will always be friends with you. You’re the first friend that I had ever had. Well, second really. I did have a friend when I was in preschool but my dad never like me having friends for some reason. Every time I asked if I could go over to a friend’s house or ask if I could attend a birthday party that someone in my class would invite me to, he wouldn’t allowed me to go. Eventually people stopped talking to me and stopped asking me over. I was mostly afraid of making friends because I thought they would want nothing to do with me once they knew what my dad was like.”
I slipped my hand into his as we walked. He looked down at my hand and then met my eyes. He stared at me, wondering what I was doing. I don’t think he expected me to do that.
I gave him a warm smile. “I’m glad we befriended and I hope we can stay friends no matter what.”
He returned the smile.
“I don’t understand what you ever saw in him,” Daniel continued.
All I wanted for him was to shut up. I switched on the radio, cranking the volume up loud, blocking out my brother’s insults. He didn’t like me playing with the stereo. He turned it down a couple of times. Eventually he just gave up and let me have the radio up loud.
We pulled up in front of our house and saw that neither of my parents’ cars was parked in the driveway. I rolled my eyes knowing that now I had no choice of going with my brother to his lousy girlfriend’s place.