"At least now the match will be fair," I told Ciel with a smile, "Because all this is your fault, after all."
Ciel's eyebrow twitched and he turned to me, arms crossed. "How is it my fault?"
Rodric once again raised his arm to commence the duel, and I pulled Ciel back a few feet to keep our distance. He snatched his arm back and scowled. After a moment, I looked over to him and realized he was staring at me, obviously waiting for an answer.
"Well, you went and challenged the poor Prince in a game that isn't even practiced in his home country."
"But how is that my fault?" Ciel continued to press, not wanting to accept his mistake.
I sighed and walked up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder in order to have him face the right direction. Lifting my hand, I pointed to Agni and then to his own butler. "Naturally, his own extension would have to step in and avenge the would-be loss."
Prince Soma jumped up and down from the other side of the room, cupping his hands around his mouth to yell at us. "Stop whispering so closely to each other, they're about to start!"
Rolling our eyes, Ciel and I stepped away, sitting down on the seats Rodric had quickly brought over before going back to judge the match.
"Now then, please, go easy on me." Sebastian smugly told Agni. The foreign butler tensed his jaw and charged. As suspected, Sebastian easily dodged his attack, stepping sideways to avoid the foil. With the second he had to his advantage, the demon thrusted forward, aiming directly at Agni's legal target area. However, in a speed almost matching Sebastian's, Agni stepped backward with his arm outstretched. Both were inches away from being hit.
"Don't get too confident," I told Ciel as we continued to watch them spar, "Don't you recall their battle only a day ago? He leveled with your devil."
Ciel tensed beside me and his hand went to his chin.
Thrust. Dodge. Step.
Stab. Dodge. Duck.
Thrust. Spin. Dodge.
I crossed my ankles and sighed, looking away from the fight for a moment. The image of Ciel's hunting competition with the Marchioness came to mind and I felt a twinge of envy. What skill did I have that could be of entertainment or use? I'm sure even Elizabeth Midford had a talent that was worth a pence... after all, no one ordinary could be betrothed to the Queen's impressive Watchdog. And here I was, only stepping into his manor whenever I was deemed useful. Many times, I wished I could have a skill to use to my advantage. It irked me to have to rely on Rodric so often, but I knew no other way. My personal gains consisted of my name, looks, and fortune. And in retrospect, none of that actually even belonged to me. All I had was a demon that obeyed my every order, reoccurring nightmares and a destined death. It was true that I was the one who deemed us to be companions in our line of work, but who was actually fulfilling our duties?
The answer was obvious: Our devils. I'm sure even Ciel had noticed this by now.
...You're not worth a thing...
"Adelina?"
I glanced back up and saw that Ciel was watching me carefully, almost analytical. I shifted my expression and feigned confusion, raising an eyebrow. From an early age, I was taught to never rely on a single person when it came to inner emotions. If I felt like I wasn't proving my worth, moping around over it wouldn't better my case; after all, pity and fools went together. If I felt like I was being broken, then it was now my turn to find something to break.
"Yes, what is it? Is the match over--"
"Oh my, the swords were broken." Sebastian's voice announced, and I glanced over to see that indeed both foils had snapped in two. As I suspected, they had concluded with a draw.
"What a pity," I said, standing up. Ciel seemed to be in a state of shock and took more time to stand, his eyes flitting from butler to butler.
"Do you think he's another--?"
"No, he's entirely human," Rodric said softly behind us, and Ciel seemed to breathe in relief. However, that raised another question: What exactly was Agni?
"Wow, Ciel's khansama sure is strong!" Soma exclaimed, stretching his arms and approaching us. "Agni is the strongest fighter in my palace! This is the first time someone has tied with him!"
I held back my urge to roll my eyes forced a smile, just wanting to get an agreement in order. "Is that so?"
Soma nodded in excitement and continued to praise Sebastian, even excusing him in deference of his skill. Excusing him of what, I couldn't say. Ciel and I stayed behind, analyzing Agni until he finally caught sight of us and he stepped forward, clasping his hands to his chest.
"Lord Ciel," he said, looking down at him, "I apologize for my earlier actions... does your arm still hurt?"
My eyes flickered to his arm.
"N-No..." Ciel mumbled, looking up. Agni's worried expression instantly burst into a relieved smile, and I couldn't help but do the same. Rodric went up to speak with Agni and Sebastian took his place, seeming rather amused.
"What is he, Sebastian?" Ciel asked once he was close enough, continuing to stare at the odd butler. Closing my eyes, I took the pillow from the seat beside me and swung it at the back of Ciel's head, making him jump and glare angrily at me.
"What was that for?!"
"Stop staring, it's rude." I scolded lightly, before letting a small smile crack. Sebastian hid his chuckle behind his gloved hand and cleared his throat, turning to respond to his master.
"As Maldoris said, he's completely human," he said, glancing sideways towards Agni, "However, he holds powers... powers that we can't ever have."
-
Prince Soma shockingly took a nap a couple of hours later, seemingly exhausted from doing nothing the entire afternoon. With ease, Ciel and I went into his drawing room, falling back into the cushioned chairs, drained from the idiotic events that had happened.
"I'm hungry," I mumbled, massaging my temples. Ciel nodded in agreement and stood up, stepping towards his glass cabinet only to pull out a beautifully decorated cake and placing it on the wooden table between us.
"So am I," he said, cutting a slice. "Dinner won't be ready for another half hour or so."
"And you can't wait that long?" I asked, nevertheless taking the piece of cake he offered. He didn't respond and instead handed me my fork, glancing away and out the glass window. I didn't mind the silence; it was solace from the heavy day that we had endured. I calmly took my time nibbling away at the strawberry cake, seeing as though we were going to stay in the drawing room for a while. Sweets weren't my preferred snack, but whatever I could eat for the time being, I would take. Eventually, Ciel looked back at me and set his fork down.
"Care to enlighten me on what you were thinking about earlier?"
Ah, so that's what this was about. It seemed like the Ciel I had spoken to after the funeral had returned. It was odd how he changed depending on the environment. He seemed to be rather wrathful and scornful in the public eye, but whenever he was alone and the day was glum, his curiosity and microscopic empathy peaked.
"Well, if you'd like to know..." I said, lowering my voice. Just by doing so, his demeanor shifted and I could tell that I had him captivated by my change in tone. This was something I was used to doing to a plethora of people in order to open a more successful path for myself. But for some reason, I felt as though I didn't need to do so with Ciel, and so I faltered, debating on whether to continue with the act.
"I trust you, Ciel." I continued, leaning over to whisper. He raised an eyebrow but still, leaning forward ever so slightly. "We work together under her Majesty the Queen, and both have our devils to do our bidding. There really isn't much to keep hidden, besides secrets that are best kept locked and hidden away."
"Honestly Adelina, just spit it out." he commanded, and I raised an eyebrow, smiling in amusement.
"Ciel, what's yours?" I asked, sitting back into my seat.
"What kind of question is that?"
"I suppose it's a type of rhetorical question," I said, waving my hand around. "But what I'm asking is: What is rightfully yours?"
He opened his mouth like I thought he would and I raised a finger to stop him.
"The answer is nothing. Nothing is yours Ciel, and nothing is mine. Everything we carry out is not done by our own accord, it's done by our butlers. Our surnames? Passed on by generations. Our fortune? Inherited from our deceased parents. Our successes? Achieved by stolen power. If anything, the only thing that we can call our own is our forenames. And we don't even use those much ourselves, now do we?
"But to be more specific, I was thinking about how well Sebastian dueled against Soma. And how well you competed with your aunt. Both you and your demon are similar in one way or another."
Ciel stayed silent, and I sighed, not wanting to go any further than I had already done. I hadn't meant to say that much, but for some reason, I couldn't stop myself from spitting out so many words without thinking first. Fortunately, my rather digressed rant was coming to a close, and hopefully, it tied up well enough to leave the Prideful Earl satisfied.
"So I suppose something else that is yours is your ownership of your demon... and you know what they say. A dog eventually starts to look like its owner."
I smiled sweetly at Ciel, folding my hands in my lap. He seemed to be thinking.
"You were thinking about Sebastian and me?" he asked after a minute. I nodded and took another bite of my cake, wanting to get to dinner now more than ever.
"You're quite the odd one, Adelina. Though I catch myself thinking of you as well, I don't think that particular thought has crossed my mind." Ciel said, before quickly restateing his sentence. "Of you and Rodric, obviously. You two aren't too alike now, are you?"
I let out a small laugh at his first statement, waving my finger around. "Now, Ciel! How bold of you! Wouldn't Elizabeth be shocked to hear that?"
He rolled his eyes and stabbed his cake with the fork, leaving the utensil there before picking up a cloth to dab his lips with.
"Don't start, you know what I meant."
"Yes yes," I said, shrugging. "I suppose we're not much alike at all. Compatible, yes. Alike? I'm not too sure about that. Being sold off before birth can lead to companionship like such."
...Fine china...
...Cracked china...
Ciel seemed to pause his movements and he stared at me in disbelief. I cursed myself for my stupidity and sighed heavily, shaking my head.
"Yes, I was contracted to him before I could even take my first breath." I snapped, not liking his reaction at all. "What's so interesting about it? My parents did it for the best."
He didn't speak, and I stood up, making my way to the door. Behind me, the sound of the chair scraping the hardwood floor made me cringe and something quickly held me back from turning the handle.
"What's your point for living?"
"What is it to you?" I snapped, and immediately, Ciel stepped in front of me, not loosening his grip on my forearm.
"My reason for having Sebastian do my bidding is so that I can one day have the ones who caused me humiliation and misery suffer the cruelty they made me go through in the months after this mansion was burned to the ground. The reason I force myself out of that bloody bed every damn morning is so that I can get stronger and stare my demons in the face. I breathe because I have to see them in the eye someday, and I don't want the same, scared little boy they kidnapped to be looking back at them."
He took a step closer, and we locked eyes, staring at each other fiercely.
"And I'm asking you. Why do you live everyday like it's worth something if you didn't even have a choice when it came to keeping your soul."
I inhaled deeply, and snatched my arm back, not caring that I was now shaking in a cold sweat. Ciel seemed to notice my extreme change but I didn't let him speak anymore.
"I didn't have a choice then, and I don't have a choice now. Nightmares and broken memories aren't exactly my cup of tea, but when you've dealt with them for years, you eventually grow up and move on." I hissed, and walked out, going straight to the open bedroom I knew was available. I hadn't cried in years. Crying made my eyes heavy, and if I slept, then the nightmares and unconnected memories would return. So when my sobs broke through my clenched lips and the tears leaked from my shut eyes, naturally, I felt cracked.
"I d-don't even have a r-rightful reason to live," I stuttered out, wiping away furiously at the tears. "I suppose I'm not as st-strong as I thought I w-was..."
-
...My Countess orders, I obey; Anyone who dares interfere, will have Hell to pay...