Tap that VOTE and leggo!
Normani's POV
After we went back to NYU, Dinah and I hung out even more than we did during the first semester. Since we lived in the same building, we ate almost every meal together, watched TV together, and when Dinah was too lazy to go back to her dorm, she'd even sleep over in my room and we'd cuddle all night long. Not to mention, as second semester meant more practices for our end of the year showcase, my dance partner and I were practically inseparable. And I wasn't complaining one bit. Life was beautiful with Dinah around, and my love for her grew every day.
Two weeks into the second semester, everyone had to perform their routines for Bankhead to approve and judge. Mine and Dinah's routine was approved at once and Bankhead didn't have one bad thing to say about it.
"Oh my God, Dinah!" I squealed after class, hugging her excitedly, "He said your technique's improved so much! And we didn't get any points off! And he loved our choreo! And he said ours was the best one!"
"Yeah. Our routine was awesome. Felt really good," Dinah said with a smile.
But something was wrong. Her smile didn't reach her eyes. Her words sounded forced and fake.
"What's wrong, Dinah? Aren't you happy with our routine?" I asked, concerned.
"No. I'm happy. It's a good routine," Dinah said quickly, avoiding my eyes.
"I can tell you're lying. Come on. Just be honest with me. What's wrong?"
Dinah sighed and said, "Okay, I'll be real with you, but please don't get mad."
"I won't. We're partners, Dinah. Your opinion matters to me."
"Okay...i-its just that...everyone's showing something deeply sad and emotional, including us."
"But isn't that the point? To make the audience feel emotion?"
"That's the problem, Mani. Everyone's routine is just showing emotion, but no one's making the audience feel anything. Everyone's trying to impress the scouts in the audience, instead of expressing anything authentic. Tell me honestly, do you feel our routine when you watch it back? Did you feel anyone else's routine tonight?"
"Well...to be honest, I'm always too busy looking at the technique to-"
"But that's my point, Mani. If you really felt a performance, any performance, you would get lost in it. You wouldn't be focused on nitpicking the technique. And after you performed...if you truly felt what you performed, then it'd take you some time to break out of that character. You wouldn't be anxious about scores or criticisms or any of that external stuff."
"So, what're you saying? You wanna change our routine? Now? When we're just two weeks away from teaching the underclassmen!?" I snapped, angry that Dinah was talking shit about our routine.
"No. That's not what I meant," she said quickly, holding her arms out in defense, "Just forget it. Okay? I-I probably just dunno what I'm talking about. Our routine was the best. Bankhead's never not criticized me for anything, so it's a first. I'm happy. Okay? I didn't mean what I said."
I felt my anger ebbing. I'd never taken criticism well, but now that I was watching my dance partner ramble apologies, I felt bad for lashing out. After all, I'd asked her to be honest with me.
That night, I mulled over Dinah's honest opinion of our routine and saw where she was coming from. She was right. Though our routine was the best, it wasn't unique. It was just another convoluted and over emotional piece that was trying way too hard to impress the audience. And we couldn't have that. I didn't want our routine to blend in with the others. I wanted our routine to stand out. I wanted our routine to express something real. I wanted our routine to make the audience feel.
But most of all...I wanted our routine to make my dance partner genuinely proud.
"Why'd you call me here, Mani? Shouldn't we be practicing?" Dinah asked, sitting down in the Starbucks chair across from me.
"I wanted to apologize for snapping at you yesterday. I've thought about what you said and...well...I think you're right, Dinah..."
"Excuse me? Did you just say I was right about something?" Dinah said in mock surprise that was somewhat genuine.
"Don't push it," I said, rolling my eyes.
"Okay, okay," Dinah said with a playful smirk, "At least tell me what I was right about."
"The whole dancing to impress instead of express thing. And...I want our dance to stand out, Dinah."
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"Yeah...I think we should change it."
"To?"
"W-well..." I said, trying my hardest not to blush, "We could do your LGBT-themed one..."
"Are you saying you wanna be my lesbian lover!?" Dinah said, her eyes lighting up.
"Uh...I-I...uhm..."
But Dinah wasn't paying attention to my stammers. She got out of her chair, flung her arms around me, and excitedly rambled, "Oh my God, Mani! This is totally the best day ever! I have so many ideas! And I know you love tragic endings, so we can do a tragedy! We'll make all them bitches bawl their eyes out. You know what the problem with our old routine was? It was sad and intense throughout. For the audience to really feel shit, we gotta start it off all fun and then punch them in the gut with sad shit! We can..."
But I was only half listening. Instead, I was closely watching how her smile now reached her eyes, producing three little crinkles in the corners. My heart fluttered at the way her entire face was lit up and I could literally feel myself falling into a deeper layer of love.
"Hello! ManManz!? You there?" Dinah said with a nudge.
"Huh?" I asked, snapping out of my daze. Then blushing profusely, I stammered, "Sorry, I-I was just thinking about the time constraint."
"Shit. I forgot we only had two weeks till we have to teach the underclassmen and get in our set and costume designs. You sure you wanna change things this late?"
"It's not gonna be easy. But if we work twice as hard, I think we can do it. What'd you say?"
"I say, bring on the grind!" Dinah said enthusiastically, hi-fiving me, "How about we get some heaven juice and run concept ideas back at your place?"
"Let's do it!"
As we both ordered trente Caramel Frappuccinos with extra caramel and whipped cream, I thought about how we'd once made a deal that I'd buy her this particular drink if I ever fell in love with someone who wasn't a part of my life plan. Well, here I was, in love with someone who was definitely not a part of my life plan. So blushing slightly, I told the barista to put both the drinks on my card.
"Wow, thanks ManManz! Does this mean you're in love with someone who wasn't a part of your plan?" Dinah asked with a mischievous smile.
I looked at Dinah in surprise. I thought I was being slick by keeping up the deal and showing her my feelings without blatantly telling her. Never in a million years did I think she would actually remember the deal we'd made.
"W-what? No! This is just an apology gift for snapping at you yesterday!" I lied quickly, my heart hammering fast. Did she know?
But Dinah just wrapped her arm around my neck and said, "Good. Cuz your brand new lesbian lover was bout to get real jelly."
"Right," I said, rolling my eyes and pushing her off irritably. And before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "And what about your boyfriend? How do you think that makes me feel?"
But Dinah, thinking I was just playing along, said, "To hell with him! Everyone knows my heart belongs to you, my love!"
I knew it was just a joke. I knew she wasn't serious. But still, my heart leapt. And the irrational, impractical part of me cherished those words as true.
A/N: It's been 13 fucking chapters, where's the Norminah kiss at? Can't wait for the next chapter ;)