Chapter 67.1: 1995, Georgina
I was on the couch again. Some soap opera was on, but I wasn't paying attention much. Just thinking. Cha Cha was in the kitchen cleaning. I could smell the bleach. I wanted to help, but I wasn't sure on my feet. Maybe someday, I could-
Ring, riiing-
After only two rings, Cha Cha picked up the phone and I could hear her talking in the kitchen.
"Buen- oh, Ambrose! Oh, sweetie, calm down, calm down, its okay. Its okay, baby. What's wrong? Shh, shh. Its going to be okay. Its going to be okay. Hm? ...No, sweetie, no I can't visit you there. I'm so sorry. Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Shh, stop crying it will be okay. I know it doesn't feel good. I know, I know it. You need to rest. Si. Siii, even if you can't sleep you need to lay down. I love hearing your voice, too. You can call me any time. I promise. Call my cellphone. You know the number? I will give it to you in case you forget. You have paper? Okay, baby, okay. I'll wait."
There was a long pause. I realized I was frozen on the couch, listening. Cha Cha sounded so professional. Like she'd done this before.
"Oh, good, you're back! Okay, yeah, my phone number is...yeah, I'll go slow. Your hands are shaking? Oh, baby, I'm sorry. Try your best, okay? Okay, my number is..."
As she gave him her phone number so slowly, it occurred to me why she might be sounding so professional right now. My hand stroked down the entire length of Baby Doll and she gave me a good purr with it. My hand stretched and did the exact same thing, over and over. I was trying to control my hand, my speed. I swallowed as I thought. Cha Cha must have done this with Paulie. It was the only thing I could think of. God, Cha Cha...
"Are you shaking a lot? Its okay to shake. Don't fight it. Don't scratch yourself either. You're such a beautiful boy! You itchy? Try to watch TV. Do they have TV? They do? I think The Young and the Restless is on. Some good stories on there. Go watch The Young and the Restless. Don't scratch! Don't scratch. Maybe, do they have tape? Gauze? They can wrap up your hands. Mhm, they can. How do I know? I know. Cold shower helps, too."
I sighed. How did she know all of this stuff? My stomach felt like ice. I didn't want her to know this stuff. I'd tried so hard to protect her, and I hadn't been there for her. Now she knew all of this stuff.
"Aww, its okay to throw up. Don't be embarrassed. They've seen it a million times. You can throw up all you want." I heard her burst into a giggle and it warmed my sad heart. "I made you laugh! Good! Yes, you can throw up all you want! I promise!" She was laughing more. I found myself smiling.
I started to scratch behind Baby Doll's ears. She settled in my lap, folding her paws in.
"I'm sorry the nurses are mean. But they want to help you, I promise they do. I know its hard... She yelled at you? Why would she yell at you? Ay, perra! Enfermera estúpida! She doesn't know how to do her job? She doesn't get it? I can talk to somebody. Do you want me to? ...Are you sure its okay? She shouldn't be yelling at you! Are you sure?"
Jesus. Somebody was yelling at him and he was in a place like that?
"That's why you called me? She yelled at you? No puedo creer esto... What's her name? Wanda? Wanda? What kind of name is Wanda? I Wanda punch her in the face. How about that?"
I snorted in a laugh, trying to hide it.
"Yay, I made you laugh again! You call me when you need to laugh, or anything, okay? Okay, you need to go? You only had ten minutes? You call me for ten minutes whenever you want. I don't care if its night time! Okay? I love you, okay? Okay, bye bye, my baby honey, bye."
I realized my lower lip was poking out. It had been a while since that happened. My upper teeth brought it in, and I sat there holding my lip with my teeth silently. Ambrose's cat snuggled into me and I saw she was beginning to fall asleep.
I heard the sound of a mop on the floor, the plastic moving with the long mop ropes, gliding on the kitchen tile. She was mopping the floor like that conversation never even happened. But I knew better. She must be thinking about him, missing him, worrying. Was there anything I could do?
It took me a minute, but with my hand stroking Baby Doll, I realized: I'd just be there for her. She was there for Ambrose, so I'd be here for her. It was the best I could do.