❝tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?❞
ｍａｒｙ ｏｌｉｖｅｒ
___
ＴＨＥＲＥ are a couple reasons why after my session with Professor Horowitz, I don't turn down the hall to go find Cole's room.
The first reason, if I was being honest, is simply that I forgot. With everything going on, especially with Cass and the team, the thought of visiting him doesn't even come to mind. And when it does, well... let's say the second reason is a bit more complicated.
Cole needed space to think over my request and I needed time to think of ways to convince him to agree. And so I stay away until I think of one.
The idea comes to me the following day when I am mulling over something both Cass and Professor Horowitz have mentioned a lot these past few days: files.
"Okay, so before you say anything, hear me out first, will you?" I tell Cole as soon as I enter his room later on that Tuesday evening. "I know you want me to 'know myself' or whatever before you agree to train me, so I've thought of a compromise."
Cole stares at me wordlessly, immovably. I take it as my cue to shut the door behind us and continue.
"There are these files—everyone has them apparently, and they contain everything about everyone. Think about it—entire timelines recorded in one place. I figured, if I could get mine, I would be able to fill in the blanks in my memory. I'd finally be able to get the answers to my questions. I think it could actually help to me know what it means to be me, as Emma Sparke. Not the alter ego they gave me."
Cole continues to stare.
I continue to talk.
"The only problem is..." I say, eyeing him hesitantly, "is that I can't do it alone. I've got a plan on how to get it, but I'd need help. So what do you say? Help me discover who I really am, and train me?"
After what feels like eons, Cole finally responds. "Okay."
My eyes widens in surprise and slight alarm. "Wait. You're agreeing? Really?"
He shrugs. "Yeah, I guess. Sure. We'll do it."
I narrow my eyes at him. "Okay, no way. How come you're suddenly so cool with this? There has to be a catch."
"No catch."
"There's definitely a catch."
"There really isn't."
"Mmhmm," I reply disbelievingly.
Cole sends me an unimpressed look. "I thought you wanted this. Or have you changed your mind?"
"I do want this. Just not if there's a secret catch."
"Again, there isn't one." He pauses. "I just... never realised how quiet it was without you droning on about one of your random stories."
I scrutinise Cole for a second, and realise he is telling the truth. My eyes widen at this revelation. "Wait... so that's why you're suddenly so eager?" I question slowly. "You...missed me?"
Cole huffs, crossing his defined arms over his chest. His lips twist into a disgruntled pout. "Well, I wouldn't say that. Just that it got a bit lonely down here. And I got...bored? Yeah. Bored."
At any other point in time, that comment would have made me feel guilty for abandoning him down here with no contact with the rest of the world—or at least the school, outside of the doctors and research scientists that had put him here in quarantine.
Everyday, Cole's room seems to get fuller and fuller, like they were slowly making him a permanent addition to the labs. Sometimes, it worries me—they couldn't really keep him down here forever, could they? Cole doesn't like talking about it much, so I don't know the answer to that.
In spite of all this, right now, I couldn't resist the opportunity to tease Cole, especially during this rare moment of self-consciousness from him.
With a barefaced grin stretched across my face, I repeat, "You missed me."
Cole rolls his eyes then looks away, not deeming my teasing as worthy of a response.
"You know, I was only gone for about a day," I joke, sidling closer to him despite the fact he kept on moving away. "Seems like someone's getting too attached."
Cole stalks off into the corner of the room, settling into a plush, rotating armchair—the newest addition to his room. Noticing the goofy grin still on my face, he sighs again, shoving a hand through his hair in frustration.
"Are we doing this or not? You said you had a plan?"
In an instant, I sober up. "Right. Yes, I do."
I take a seat opposite him, at the edge of his bed and begin to explain.
"The last place I saw my file was with my therapist, y'know, the one I mentioned before, Professor Horowitz. Really, I'm supposed to have PSD on Friday, but because my team is still banned from using powers, I have a final session with him instead and I was thinking I could try to get the keys then."
Cole nods slowly. "You mean, steal them."
"I mean borrow them," I correct, ignoring the way Cole raises an eyebrow at the thought of me doing anything underhand. "Then when I get my file, I'll return them. Easy."
Cole leans forward, a thoughtful expression clouding his features.
"Okay... so assuming you get the key, I feel like we have to work out the stages in between. We'd need to go at a time where we won't get caught."
I nod my head in agreement and offer a time of night when I think it will be the least busiest. Together, we work out the rest of the details. It doesn't take long until we come up with a plan that is more or less foolproof.
As usual, time flies by and I don't realise I have to leave until the moment the alarm on my watch goes off, reminding me to do so.
I stand up abruptly at the sound of the alarm. Running a hand through my hair, I turn back to Cole and say, "So we're in agreement, right? That's the plan?"
Cole shrugs nonchalantly as he gets up as well, accompanying me to the door like he always does. "That's the plan."
We say our goodbyes. But right before Cole can close the door behind me, I pause, turn back round, and catch it between my fingers. With a teasing wink, I tell him, "Don't miss me too much."
Then laughing, I close the door before he has a chance to respond.
❧
We meet again in the late hours of the Friday of that same week, long after sunset, but not quite late enough to be counted as Saturday yet. At this time there was rarely anyone down here.
Cole peers into my palm with surprised written across his face. "Huh, you actually went through with it, I didn't think you had it in you."
"What can I say? You're a bad influence on me." I shrug. "Now hurry, we don't have much time.
"I'm an excellent influence on you," Cole retorts in a whisper as he follows me out his room and into the empty corridor. I simply scoff in reply.
The plan is simple: break into Horowitz' office using his keys (which were surprisingly easy to get, mostly due to how scatterbrained he was), use said keys to get into secret compartment of his desk, get my file and go. Then later on, return the keys back to him before he ever realises they were gone.
"Uh, we've got a problem," Cole says once we reach the door.
"What?"
"I don't think keys are going to work for a passcode."
"Oh, that? It's okay, I memorised the code ages ago," I tell him as my fingers dart against the keypad, punching in the right sequence first go.
"Another display of my excellent influence on you, I see," is Cole's response. I roll my eyes and bite the inside of my cheek, withholding a grin. I don't want to give Cole the satisfaction of getting a smile out of me for that comment.
"Sure if you say so."
Cole checks the overhead clock. "If we timed this right, we've got seven minutes before the security camera feed updates for this area. You go check for the file—I'll be on lookout."
I nod and quickly head for Horowitz' desk.
The lock is cracked and the drawer unlocked in a matter of minutes. I hold my breath in anticipation as I pull out the table drawer.
"Oh." I frown.
"Oh?" Cole questions from the other side of the room. "That doesn't sound good."
My gaze is fixed to the sole content of the drawer. My eyebrows are knitted together in confusion.
"It doesn't make sense..." I murmur. "It should be here."
"What should—" Cole begins to ask before he cuts himself off. "I'm coming over."
He appears by my shoulder, leaning closer to peer into the drawer himself.
"Oh."
"Yeah," I whisper back. "Oh."
There is only one item in Professor Horowitz' drawer and it is not my file. It is a golden wedding band placed perfectly in the centre of the compartment.
"What's with the ring...?" Cole wonders.
"I'm...not sure," I respond quietly. Usually, Horowitz wore it on his ring finger, which had always led me to assume that he must be married, but now I have a feeling it was more complicated than that. Inwardly, I wanted to scream: when was it not more complicated? I'm getting fed up of mysteries.
"What about your file? Did you find it?"
"It isn't here," I say. My shoulders droop further in disappointment. "I was so sure... I... I don't understand."
I feel the weight of Cole's hand rest gently on my right shoulder, he gives it a small, comforting squeeze. "Hey, don't beat yourself up about it," he says, "we'll figure it out. Just think where else could it be?"
"I have no idea."
"Then it doesn't matter," Cole decides, glancing up warily. "We can work it out later—right now we need to go."
"You're right." I swallow the lump in my throat and shakily come to a stand, dusting non-existent dirt of my knees. All the while, I wrack my brain for answers until one comes to me. "Morgana. She'd know where it is. She could actually have it. She's got everything."
"Good. Great. We'll look into it next time." Cole's gaze is evidently still glued to the clock. "But right now—"
"But I have no idea where her office is," I suddenly realise. My frown deepens.
"Emma, the longer we stay, the more likely we are to get caught," Cole tries to warn me, but I am too immersed in my own thoughts again to fully pay attention.
Eventually, I feel a hand wrap around my own and I realise it is Cole's.
"Right," he says, urging me towards the door. "We're out of time—looks like we're gonna have to make a run for it."
"But—"
"No questions," he orders. "Move first, everything else later."
He quickly helps me to put everything back to the way we found it, and then we're racing out the door, never stopping until we're back in the camera-absent safety of Cole's room.
It's not until we collapse onto Cole's floor, panting for breath, that I realise that we had been holding hands the entire time. And for some reason, that thought makes my heart beat just a bit faster.
I let my hand slip out of his to fan my face. For a moment, the only noise that fills the room is the sound of our heavy breathing.
Cole is the first to speak again. "Breaking into Morgana's office... It's going to be a lot more difficult than breaking into your therapist's room."
I pull my knees up close. "Yeah."
"Especially considering it's not going to be on this floor either, we won't be able to just slip in."
I let out a heavy sigh. "Yeah."
It's coming. I know it is. This is the part where he rejects the idea completely. And I wouldn't blame him for doing so either.
"So..." he begins, "we'll just have to do some research before we do it, so we can be more prepared."
My eyes immediately flick up to Cole's. Disappointment quickly changes into confusion which quickly changes into surprise. That didn't sound like a rejection.
"You're not giving up?" I ask him, unable to hide my surprise.
Cole twists round so we're facing each other properly. There's an odd look in those icy blue eyes of his that I can't quite decipher. "Well, of course not," he responds frankly. "We're in this together now, aren't we?"
I drop my gaze again. "I guess we are..."
I watch as Cole rises to his feet. "Besides, we have plenty time to figure it out and I'm insanely tired right now."
I look up quizzically. "What do you do all day that would make you so tired?"
Cole arches an eyebrow at me. "Wouldn't you like to know."
While I ponder over what that was supposed to mean, I notice Cole now has a hand stretched out towards me. I accept his silent offer and allow him to effortlessly pull me up to my feet.
"So, we'll continue this later? Agreed?"
"Yeah," I agree. "Later."
:: 💫 ::
*ｔｈａｔ ｍｏｍｅｎｔ ｗｈｅｎ... you know you gotta change the banner because it's low quality af but you made it months ago and now you're just too darn lazy to make a new one*
Hey, hey, hey. It's Carmen and new update-date-date! Two things I'm not used to: writing ~short~ chapters and updating semi-frequently. This has been a weird experience. Not sure how much longer it's going to last, but let's enjoy it while it lasts, shall we?
What do you think of the new chapter?
♕ Carmen ♕