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I looked out the window of the plane, staring at the clouds as we flew our way to the Russo Household.
All my bruises were already treated when we arrived at the airport. Mat insisted that we head to the hospital first, but since we were already threatened, it wasn't safe for us to stay there anymore.
And Johnson...
Even if I didn't want to...we left him behind.
I've been crying for almost 2 hours now that I didn't have any tears left in me. I was so tired, so angry, and so lost. I didn't know what to do anymore.
"Romeo", Julien says as he walks towards me.
I looked at him and don't say anything, suddenly, Julien went down on his knees and bowed in front of me.
"I do not need your forgiveness Romeo", Julien suddenly says, shocking me. We haven't really talked after what happened earlier, so I'm quite shocked to see him do this all of a sudden.
"Julien, what on earth are you doing?" I asked as I immediately kneeled down to hold him.
Julien looks up at me, his eyes red because of too much crying, "This is all my fault. You should have just left me there. You should have just killed me too."
"Julien...why would I do that to you?" I asked as I wiped the tears off of his face.
Julien slowly lowers his head and said, "Johnson's death...is clearly my fault."
Julien continued to cry. I wanted to tell him that it wasn't his entire fault, but somehow, I just couldn't.
I wanted to blame someone, and I know that it's unfair for me to blame it on Julien when he hasn't even done anything wrong.
"I promised Johnson that I will protect you", I say as the tears were once again falling from my eyes.
The pain that I felt when I left Johnson to die will forever leave a scar in my heart. But Johnson wouldn't want me to act like this. He wouldn't want me to just sit here and let everything else fall because I was too much in pain because of his lost.
He wants me to fight back, to make sure I take my revenge on the people who hurt Julien, my maids, and now even Johnson himself.
"I couldn't protect my maids, and I couldn't even protect Johnson. You're the only one I have left Julien, you're the only family I have", I say as I looked straight at his eyes.
Julien cried louder as he grabbed me for a hug.
"I will never leave you Romeo. You die, I die...I will make sure that I'll be by your side, even through death", Julien says as he hugged me tighter.
I slowly pushed him away, and then I looked at him and gave Julien a kiss. Tears were still pouring out of my eyes as I continued to kiss him. And just like that, the pain slowly vanished.
When we parted from the kiss, Julien looked at me and said, "We'll take our revenge. I'll help you...I'll help you destroy the Dark Saints...even if it kills me."
*****
"Thank you my dear friend, thank you", I say as I was hugging Mat.
Mat pats my back and says, "What happened to Johnson...we'll get them Romeo. Now that I'm here, I'll make sure we'll get them."
"Thank you", I say as we parted from the hug.
The door of my private jet finally opens. I looked at Julien and grabbed him by the hand, "Let's go."
I went down the stairs. Julien walked beside me while Mat walked behind us.
There was a red carpet on the floor, and there were guards on both sides; their hands on their chest to show respect for my arrival.
"Welcome Sir Romeo Valentino", all said in unison.
We continued to walk down the carpet, and at the end was my grandmother, sitting on the wheelchair while her assistant stood behind her.
We stopped right in front of her.
She might be an 88-year-old woman now, but she still has an aura of a strong family head.
"Good Evening, Doña Victoria", I say as I looked at her.
My grandmother doesn't say anything. But then suddenly, she slowly stands up from her wheelchair. Her legs were shaking but she ignores it just so he could stand in front of me.
"Madam", her assistant says, as she was about to help her. But my grandmother pushes her hand away and angrily says, "Let me be! Can't you see that I have to show my respect to the real head of the Valentino family?"
"Grandmother, you do not have to do this", I say, but she ignores me and stands up properly.
"Welcome Romeo to the Russo household. It is my greatest honor to welcome you here", grandma says as she bows her head. She then looks at Julien and says, "And you must be Julien Choi, the real head of the Dark Saints."
"Actually I-"
I quickly squeezed Julien's hand to make him stop. It's best if the guards hear about his position now so they wouldn't try to do anything bad to him.
"And Matthew Luca. The last time I saw you was at the Valentino Household, and you were covered in mud too", my grandmother says as she looks at Mat next.
Mat laughs and scratched his head, "Y-Yeah...garden duties."
My grandmother chuckles and looks back at me "And Johnson? Is he not with you?"
And with that one question, the three of us quickly changed our expressions.
My grandmother looked at us confusingly, but after a few seconds, her expression changed as well.
"Oh no, not Johnson", grandmother says as she closes her eyes to take a deep breath.
She then opens her eyes back and looks at me pitifully, "You must be all exhausted. We should go now so you could rest", my grandmother says as she sits back down on her wheelchair.
Her assistant pushes the wheelchair on a car that's parked on the side. I was supposed to follow them when someone suddenly blocks my way, "Sir, this will be your car", the guard says as he gestured his hand on the car that's parked just behind my grandmother's car.
"Oh, okay", I say as I walked towards it, my hands still intertwined with Julien.
I was very uneasy as I stared at the car. I was literally just in a car accident a few hours ago so I didn't feel like it was okay for me to get inside a car again.
"Rome", Julien says as he squeezed my hand.
"I'm here, you'll be fine", he tells me with a reassuring look.
I take a deep breath and nodded my head.
A guard opens the door for us as I got inside the back with Julien; Mat sitting at the front.
When the car starts, my heart ached even more.
To think that Johnson has been with me since I was young. I've taken him for granted and thought that I'd be with him forever. But just like that, he was taken, and I would never have a chance to see him again.
"Underboss Antonio called me, he said they now have acquired Johnson's remains from the place where we had the accident", Mat suddenly says.
I looked out the window and don't say anything.
"He also said that they will not conduct the funeral until you get back", Mat continued, and somehow, I was glad to hear that uncle thought of that.
"Was he mad?" I finally asked, but still not looking at Mat.
Mat sighs and answered me, "He was devastated, but he was glad that you decided to stay here since he said this was the safest place for now."
"I see", I simply say.
"And he wanted to tell you that...the whole family is mourning for his death."
"Of course they are", I sarcastically say, but in all honesty, I knew that they were.
Mat sighs again but doesn't say anything anymore.
When everyone was now silent, I closed my eyes and remembered the accident just a few hours ago. My whole body was still in pain, and I have bruises as proof of the accident.
Johnson's blood was still warm in my hands, and somehow, I could still smell the gas that was leaking out of the car before it completely exploded.
But, as the smoke cleared out, the memory of me eating dinner with Julien and Johnson suddenly appeared. The way we laughed, the way we all thought of the future together; it made me feel at ease. It was like Johnson was still there, staying by my side like he always has for 30 years.
I regretted having my OCD, because I became distant with him when I had it. But, even after all that, even when I pushed him away, Johnson stayed by my side like he always does. And even in death, I could feel like Johnson is still staying by my side like how he promised.
"I love you too Johnson. Very, very much."
*****
I stared at my reflection in the mirror; my eyes darker than usual.
I felt empty somehow. Like the only life that I had in me was gradually getting smaller and smaller, and the only thing that was keeping me from having a little hope in me is Julien.
"It looks like my grandmother likes you", I stated.
"Is that so", Julien says as he turns off the shower.
I blinked and looked at my right to see Julien getting out from the shower.
"Yes", I say I slowly walked my way towards him.
We were now at the Russo household.
Grandmother obviously knew about my relationship with Julien so she decided that we should just share a room while Mat stays at the other guest room.
We didn't talk much. She just said that we should rest now after everything that happened to us and just talk tomorrow; which I openly agreed upon because I seriously wasn't in the mood to discuss anything to anyone today.
"Let me get you dried up", I say as I took a towel and used it to wipe off the water from Julien's body.
"Rome", Julien suddenly calls out as he grabbed my hand to stop me.
I looked at him but don't say anything.
"You have the right to be upset today Rome. Get mad, throw a fit, place the pain all on me", Julien suddenly says. I don't say anything and just placed the towel back.
Here we go again.
I turned around and walked out of the bathroom, "Johnson wouldn't like that."
"Romeo, you're in pain and I know it. Your pain will only be turned into hatred if you keep it stuck like that", Julien persistently tells me as he followed me out of the bathroom. The towel now wrapped around his lower body.
I'm trying to calm myself down as I looked back at Julien.
"Then what the fuck do you want me to do? Hurt you too because I'm in pain?" I asked him.
Julien walks closer and answered me, "If that's the only way."
I looked at him frustratingly and asked, "Only way? To fucking what?!"
"Romeo, I'm just worried. You're acting like you didn't lose someone today", Julien adds as he holds my hand. He looks at me with pity that I was slowly getting angrier.
"That's enough, let's just go to sleep, okay?" I said as I quickly pushed his hand away.
I was about to walk towards the bed but Julien grabbed my shoulder and forcefully made me look at him.
"Romeo, Johnson's fucking dead!" Julien suddenly shouted at me, finally making me lose my temper.
"And whose fault do you think it is?!" I suddenly shouted back at him, immediately making me regret it. But Julien didn't even look shocked. It was like he's been expecting me to say those words to him since earlier.
I clenched on my fist and aggressively scratched my head, "Now look what you made me say to you."
"Those are the words that you're dying to say but are too afraid to run out of your mouth. I told you already right? That whenever you're in pain, just give it all to me, because I'm used to it."
I looked at Julien and don't say anything.
I clenched on my fist harder and waited for my temper to ease out. When I knew that I wasn't going to explode anymore, I started, "You have no idea how I want to fucking kill your fucking men because of what they've done to me and to my people. You have no idea how I just want to run away, leave everything behind and just forget about everything and go back to my old life. But it's so unfair for me to blame it all on you when you haven't even done anything wrong. The only thing you've done, is make me fall for you, and that is not a mistake I can blame on you", I honestly tell Julien.
Julien was teary again. It was obvious that he was inches away from crying.
I knew what Julien wanted me to do.
He wants me to let out my frustration on him. He wants me to hurt him, like that could help me feel better. But it obviously wouldn't, and I hated that Julien thinks that it will.
"I lost Johnson, and I don't think someone has to look like they lost someone just so people could know they're in pain. I know you want me to feel better, but do you seriously think I'd feel better if I hurt you?" I asked Julien.
Julien looks at me and quickly wipes the tears off his face.
"That's because that's the only thing I can offer you Romeo. Because ever since I arrived, you've felt nothing but pain", Julien suddenly says.
"Do you think I'll do all this for you if all you've given me is pain?" I asked him back.
Julien looks at me, but he doesn't say anything anymore.
I sighed and walked towards him. Then I gently kissed his forehead and said, "Now wear some clothes, and enough with this nonsense. I don't want us fighting, especially after everything that happened today."
I don't wait for Julien to answer as I walked towards the bed.
I sat down while Julien wore a shirt and boxers. Then he goes to me and lies beside me.
He doesn't say anything and just rests his head on my chest. I kissed his forehead again and just stared out the window until Julien could fall asleep.
And when Julien was asleep, I finally cried my heart out.
I just stared out the window until I realized that the sun was finally rising, and I actually stayed wide-awake the whole night.
I blinked and rubbed my eyes.
Julien yawns and slowly opens his eyes to look at me, "You're awake?"
I looked back at him and answered, "Yeah, just a few minutes ago", I lied.
Julien sits up and stretches his arms, then he leans forward and gives me a kiss on the lips, "I'm sorry about last night, I was just-"
"It's okay", I say as I kissed him back. Then I stood up and looked at him, "Let's go downstairs, I think the food is ready."
Julien quickly stands up from the bed and puts some pants on. Then, we both went out of the room and went straight to the dinning room where my grandmother and Mat have already started eating.
"Oh, good morning", Mat says as he sees us.
Julien bows in front of my grandmother and greeted her, "Good morning Ms. Victoria."
My grandmother laughs and looks back at Julien, "Victoria would be fine sweetie. And please, sit down, I know both of you are hungry."
I nod my head and pulled the chair for Julien. Julien looked shy but he sat down anyways, then I sat beside him after.
"Did you two have a nice sleep?" grandmother asked as she looked at the both of us.
Julien nods his head as an answer, making me nod my head as well.
Grandmother obviously knew that I was lying, especially since I literally had eye bags under my eyes. But she doesn't comment about it anymore, which I was thankful about because Julien would be worried again if he finds out.
"Your uncle...Antonio...he called me by the way. Asked me if you were alright", grandmother suddenly stated, shocking me since she never really talked about uncle Antonio.
She then takes a sip of his tea and continued, "Of course I told him you weren't. How could you expect someone who just witnessed their love one die to be alright."
I took a sip of my tea too but don't say anything.
"He's always insensitive, just like his own mother", my grandmother suddenly says, which I found very unnecessary.
Julien, who obviously got confused, looked at my grandmother with shock.
"You don't know don't you", grandma suddenly says as she looks at Julien.
"Grandmother, I don't think that's-"
Grandma suddenly cuts me off and said, "Antonio is a son of my husband from a mistress. Which is why when Claudio died, he wasn't the head of the family."
Julien looked even more confused, but he tries to keep his mouth shut from asking any questions.
"Grandmother, we don't have to talk about this here", I say, finally making her look at me.
"I apologize, I just assumed that he knows everything about you since you two are...close", she says, and I just sighed and looked at Julien apologetically.
"But there is something else that I do want to talk to you about Romeo", grandmother says as she seriously looks at me.
"What is it?" I asked.
"You're here not just to hide aren't you? You're here to ask for my help", grandmother asked, directly pointing out my plans here.
"That's right", I simply answered.
Grandmother sighs and massages her temple, "It would be an honor to help you Romeo. Believe me, I'd call out all my men to help you right now. But, we all know that I cannot do that. You are clearly not in the position to ask for any help from any heads of the family that the Valentino's are on oath with."
"So you're basically telling me I'm all alone here?" I asked her.
Grandmother sighs again and asks; "You know that there's only one way for you to be able to have everyone on your side right?"
I don't say anything and just looked down.
I knew what it was, I just didn't want to admit it.
Grandmother reached out to touch my hand as she said, "The only way you can avenge your people's death is if you take your throne as godfather. Be the head of the most powerful Mafia, and you will definitely have your most awaited revenge."
- END -